Will You Ever Return to Me?

Chapter 5.

October 1999, Auror training camp.

"I spotted you from a mile away, Potter."

"Sorry. I..."

"You keep this up, and we'll have to cut you from the program," Kingsley Shacklebot said. "Your status notwithstanding. Good job finding him, Patil."

"Thank you, sir."

"Very well. I do expect better performance for you tomorrow."

Harry nodded, and, bidding goodbye to Kingsley, Apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. Padma, who left several minutes earlier, waited there for him.

"That's the third time this week I've done better than you," Padma said.

"Aren't you proud?" Harry retorted snarkily and began eating his dinner.

"There's no need to for that tone," Padma said. "I'm just surprised. You used to outpace me by a huge margin."

"Must be your Ravenclaw knowledge coming through."

"We both know that's bullshit. Something's the matter."

"Oh yeah? What?"

"I was hoping to find out."

"Well, keep hoping. I'd rather keep this to myself."

There was a silence for a few minutes as the two Aurors-in-training finished their meals. They had dinners like this routinely--usually discussing the day's training. They hadn't really discussed the issues that plagued them, the grief they had felt at losing someone very close... but they did gravitated towards each other because of it. Harry, in any case, was not ready. He knew Padma was right--his performance in training had been sagging. He even knew why.

"Potter... Harry."

"What?"

"You really should stop acting like everyone is out to get you. They aren't... not anymore."

In better times, Harry might have considered that funny. "Maybe not. I isn't much of a relief."

"I want to help."

"Well, you can't."

"On the contrary, it seems I'm the only one who can--seeing as how all your other friends have hooked up."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're so transparent, Harry. It's about Ginny, right? You can't get over her."

Anger swelled up in Harry. While what Padma said was true, that wasn't the reason for his poor performance in training.

The truth was both simpler and more complicated. Ever since Ginny, despite being beaten, went back to Malfoy, he'd been researching the subject of domestic abuse. It wasn't encouraging. Too many women behaved exactly like Ginny did--after running away and staying with a friend for a while, they went back to the abusive husband. They seemed to truly love these men. Harry didn't think Ginny fit the profile of an abuse victim... but the facts showed otherwise. And he had no idea what he'd do if it happened again.

He suppressed the urge to lash out at Padma. None of this was her fault.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have brought it--"

"Forget it," Harry said.

She shook her head.

"I know, I know," he replied. "I should try to get over it. Date other people. Maybe I'll find someone else."

"It's good advice," Padma said.

"Yeah, well, why don't you try being me. How am I supposed to know if the girl isn't after my fame, or my Gringotts account?"
"Well, the best way is to date someone you already know... a friend. And where did you pick up such a low opinion of women?"
"I don't have a low opinion of women, I have a low opinion of people who don't see me as anything but "that guy with the scar" and don't try to. And as you so kindly phrased it, all my friends are 'hooked up'."

"I believe I said all your other friends were hooked up."

"What do you--oh. You're asking me out?"

"Well, we can try it. It might work, or not. What do we have to lose?"

Harry muttered something.

"What? Surprised?"

"Yes. I thought..."

"What?"

"Well... there were rumors at Hogwarts..."

"Yes?"

"I'm not sure I should tell you--"

"Spit it out."

"Well, the rumors were that you and Parvati... uhm... preferred women?"

"And you believed them?" Padma narrowed her eyes.

"I didn't really think about it. But I heard the rumors, and I didn't know you well enough for certain. Look, I don't mind..."

"Padma cut him off. "There was some substance to that rumor," she said.

"You're a lesbian?"

"Bisexual, actually. So yes, we could go out, Harry. I don't have anyone right now--male or female."

Harry shook his head. I don't think I'm ready for a romantic relationship. Not yet. It wouldn't be fair to you. Trust me, I'm hardly a prize right now."

Padma shrugged. "Just don't reject the possibility completely. I like you, Harry, and you're my friend. As I said, we can try it."

"Padma... thanks. This means a lot to me. I'll see you tomorrow."

He got back to Grimmauld Place and thought about what Padma said. Under other circumstances, he may have seriously thought about a romantic relationship with her. But now...

Harry lit a lamp and prepared himself for another night of research into a personal and depressing topic.