Thinking For Herself

Millicent wrote to her father about her boyfriend just before her exams. She wasn't sure what to tell him, and she wished she could tell her mother about Adrian too. She knew they'd be happy she had found someone who liked her, and relieved that he was a pureblood, because it would give her an easier life. Her wealth, pureblood-style upbringing and surname had overcome most of the Puceys' reservations, although she suspected that Adrian's parents wouldn't mind too much if he found someone else. They sat beside the lake revising together, she for her OWLs and he for his NEWTs. Adrian was quiet. Like her he'd never been especially sociable.

It's not going to last, she thought, watching him stare ferociously at the pages of his Arithmancy textbook. He'll go to Egypt or Turkey or Peru, and I won't see him for months. He'll meet someone else, some beautiful exotic girl with a talent for magic and legs up to her neck, and it'll be all over.

Adrian glanced up and noticed her looking at him. He pulled a silly face. "Staring at me won't get you through your Charms exam," he pointed out.

Ah well, Millicent mused, focussing on the Standard Book of Spells once again, it'll be fun while it lasts, and it isn't as though I mind being alone...

The exams were about as she'd expected. Millicent stumbled a bit on Charms theory, but felt she'd done all right on the practical. She just had to recall the fun time she'd had revising with her father over ice creams. She was in the first batch to be tested in the afternoon, along with the likes of Hannah Abbott, and had to wait for Pansy. Daphne Greengrass stumbled out, upset at having failed to silence a toad completely, while Hermione Granger skipped off in that irritating smug fashion that seemed to announce 'I'm the best and don't I just know it'. Pansy eventually left at the same time as Harry Potter, cheerfully going over her successes.

Transfiguration on Tuesday was definitely not to Millicent's liking, although there were strict rules governing it in practice, and on top of discussing the rules for mammal transfigurations she was able to answer a question on the legalities surrounding Animagi with ease. She was able to turn a pineapple into a pinecone without any problems in her practical. She Vanished most of her squirrel too, although half the tail remained, bristling with indignity at having been left behind. Herbology was the following day, and Millicent decided she'd scraped an A, even though the only plants she were interested in were ones that related in some way to animals.

She didn't wait for Pansy or anyone else after Defence Against the Dark Arts, she ran to find Adrian. She flung her big strong arms around him and squeezed him until he yelped. "I would never have passed that exam without you," she told him. "I know I did okay. Professor Umbridge looked really pleased that I'd done so well, too. I might even have got an E for that one."

Adrian nibbled the end of her nose. He'd never been out with such a tall girl before, and was finding it fun. "Good. I wish I'd had someone to help me - I reckon half my year's going to do badly."

Draco and the others did not do quite as well as Millicent felt she had. "That stupid, stupid woman," he blustered over dinner that night. "I'm going to talk to father about this."

"You like Umbridge," Pansy pointed out. "It's not as though we need Defence, no one's going to attack us."

"Yes, but some very good students have probably failed," he snapped, looking at Crabbe and Goyle, who had spent every Defence lesson that year trying to get through Chapter 1 of Slinkhard's boring but wordy book. "Bloody Potter was showing off his stupid Patronus in the exam. At least he never got a chance to be in Dumbledore's little club."

"Are you sure?" Urquhart asked. "I've been thinking about that. Ron Weasley had his practical at the same time as me, and he was very good."

Pansy nodded. "Padma Patil seemed happy, but you'd expect a Ravenclaw to. So did Parvati, though, and she's such an airhead usually..."

"Pretty, mind you," Blaise chipped in.

"Oh, shut up about girls," Pansy snapped. "Don't you ever think about anything else?"

Blaise shrugged. "Would you prefer it if I thought about boys?" He patted Draco's arm, and was rewarded with something akin to the Evil Eye from Pansy.

Millicent decided not to mention the astonishing performances she'd seen Lavender Brown and Susan Bones pull off in case Draco lost it completely. Good on them, she thought. If Potter's friends can defend themselves, I'm happy for them. "Eloise mucked it up big-time," she said instead. "She's been crying all afternoon about how Umbridge has left everyone defenceless."

Pansy laughed into her goblet of pumpkin juice. "Midgen blubs over everything. She's nearly as bad as Myrtle. 'Oh, poor me, I've got spots! Poor polka-dot Midgen!'" she wailed, to Millicent's annoyance. "Don't pull your Aunt Millie face at me, I know she's your friend, but she really is a drip. Merlin only knows how she's going to feel about Ancient Runes tomorrow."

Millicent thought Eloise would probably react to Ancient Runes in the same way as she herself did - by panicking. She hadn't known which options to choose in her third year, and had picked Ancient Runes as easier than Arithmancy. Because runes were written, Friday's exam was a practical and theory all in one. The thought of having the afternoon off didn't improve Millicent's mood any. She spent Thursday night trying to cram a limited set of runes into her brain, on the grounds that it was better to get a few completely right than all mostly wrong. After the exam, she was just glad she hadn't wanted to take Ancient Runes as a NEWT.

Potions was on Monday. Pupils throughout Hogwarts seemed to have decided to be kind to their housemates and were causing fewer disruptions than usual over the weekend. Millicent welcomed the opportunity to put down her books and patrol the corridors alone, a parchment of notes under her arm for quick snatches of revision. She also spent the odd half-hour with the cats, feeling her tensions and worries float away on a sea of black and white and stripy fur.

In the end, Millicent felt her Theory exam on Potions was good enough to compensate for her dreadful practical. She'd knocked over her cauldron at the start, and had been allowed to continue after neutralising the spillage, but knew that the accident would count against her. Had the equipment toppled further into the spell, its contents would have been scalding hot and potentially magically dangerous too. Her potion had been off-colour at the end, as well. From experience she knew that it was the result of clumsy stirring.

Care of Magical Creatures blotted out all her worries. Tuesday's exams were a dream. Millicent had liked the Bowtruckles enough to read up on them for fun during the first term, and whizzed through her Theory paper with ease. She didn't want the practical to end, and left the creatures she'd been working on with some reluctance. Pansy hated most creatures, magical or otherwise, and spent the evening grumbling about having to learn 'such a pointless subject'. Millicent didn't mind; secretly she thought it would be nice if she could do better than Pansy in at least one subject.

By the time she'd finished her Astronomy theory exam, Millicent had had enough of sitting at a desk in the Great Hall. She had a long, leisurely lunch and then played with the cats. She was probably going to fail Divination and didn't care. You were either a Seer or you weren't, and Millicent was too sensible to make up tall stories. She'd only taken Divination because Pansy had wanted a friend in all her subjects, and Pansy was taking three options, not just two.

During her exam, which, like Ancient Runes, combined theory and practice, she stared into her teacup for Professor Tofty. "What do you see?" he asked, gently.

Tealeaves, thought Millicent. "I'm not sure. It all looks dark," Millicent said, not exactly lying. The tealeaves were dark brown, after all.

Professor Tofty wrote something on his parchment, then said, "Perhaps you'd prefer to try the crystal ball, my dear."

Millicent stared into its glassy heart. Why didn't she just tell Tofty what she believed about the state the school was in? It was as close as she'd ever come to Seeing, and perhaps her thoughts about Umbridge and the chaotic state Hogwarts was in were as good as a vision. "Matters will come to a head," she said finally. "The person who is in control can't stay there. There will be disruption and worry. The good man who has been slandered will return to correct things." Dumbledore will be headmaster again, she told herself, and he'll put an end to Umbridge's stupid rules. "Things will be better for everyone in the end, but we will endure much before then." We'll have to put up with those bloody third-year Hufflepuffs and their endless supply of super-sized dungbombs, for one thing.

Professor Tofty just blinked curiously at her, and scribbled something down on his parchment. "Well, you seem very convinced of what you see. Thank you very much, Miss Bulstrode."

Millicent left the room with relief. She couldn't prepare for her Astronomy practical during daylight, and Adrian was still in his Arithmancy NEWT theory paper, so she relaxed with the cats again. What a load of cobblers that was! Millicent thought as she hugged a first year's unintelligent, but appealing, orange Persian. Divination's such rubbish. I should never have let Pansy talk me into taking anything that woolly. She took Puss to her dormitory, so they could both have a nap before dinner and then the Astronomy practical. Millicent didn't expect to do especially well in that exam, but decided she probably did about as well as anyone else, because most of her fellow pupils were distracted by what was happening to Professors Hagrid and McGonagall.

"Poor McGonagall!" Millicent exclaimed as they left the tower. "Do you think she's okay?"

"She'd better be," Draco said grimly, "otherwise I'm going to get Father to have a word with Fudge - can we trust Umbridge to find another Transfiguration teacher anywhere near as good?"

"Grubbly-Plank's okay," Pansy pointed out. "We had her at the start of the year."

"Dumbledore chose her," Millicent reminded her. As much as she liked Professor Hagrid, Millicent thought having Professor Grubbly-Plank teach her at NEWT level would be a very good thing. Between the two of them, the professors managed to give the students a course that was both interesting and useful.

"I don't care who we have for anything," Goyle put in. "We've got one more exam to do and then we can forget everything for two years."

"Forget everything?" Pansy sniped as they waited for a staircase to move so they could get down to the second floor. "You never remembered anything to begin with."

Goyle opened his mouth to reply, but the expression on Draco's face made it clear that fighting with Pansy was not allowed. He walked along with his jaw dropped for a while, looking even more stupid than usual.

Friday dawned, the day of their final exam. Millicent sat by Tracey Davies at breakfast; everyone usually avoided her because not only was she half-blood, she had been raised with quite a few Muggle influences and most Slytherins found her a bit weird as a result. "Cheer up," Millicent told her, "it's nearly over, and it's only History."

Tracey scowled. She didn't like Pansy, who could be awful to her, and extended her dislike to Millicent, who she saw as guilty by association. "Oh, get lost, Bulstrode."

"Poor Twacey," Pansy cooed sarcastically. "She didn't grow up learning the history of her people like a respectable witch, she learned about Muggle wars and kings, and they're no good to anyone."

Millicent was grateful for her upbringing when she stepped into the exam. While some Muggleborns (like Granger, of course) were able to learn wizard history quickly and easily, most floundered, confused by the names and dates. Pureblood children were told about witch-burnings from the cradle, and learned the history of the Goblin Wars from chatting to the portraits of ancestors hanging on their walls. Muggleborns really were dropped straight into a whole new world, and had to forget 1066 and all that. Millicent was halfway through her final question when someone started screeching. She'd known exam stress was getting to some of her fellow pupils, but couldn't see who it was. Being a Bulstrode, she was sat towards the front of the hall, with most other students behind her.

"Did you see Potter floundering around like a gutted cat?" Blaise asked with relish when they all got out of their exam. Millicent was surprised; as far as she knew, Harry hadn't had one of his funny turns since the previous year.

"So that's who was making that racket. We were all in front," Draco reminded him. "But I wish I had seen it."

They stood in the entrance hall. It was a golden afternoon outside, and Millicent wanted nothing more than to walk by the lake and enjoy the warmth of the air and the feel of grass beneath her feet. However, Professor Umbridge's flaccid face appeared over a banister a couple of floors above them. "Inquisitorial Squad!" she shouted. "Someone has broken into my room! You will apprehend anyone in the vicinity. There's one up here for you."

Draco's face broke into a slow smile. "I wonder if that's precious Potter? He got away with breaking rules once; this time he'll be kicked out."

"If it's him," Millicent pointed out to everyone's backs as they hurried off.

Professor Umbridge had Ron in a body-bind on the landing. Warrington removed the spell so he could move around, and dragged him roughly to his feet. Pansy laughed.

"Bulstrode, Malfoy, come with me," Umbridge ordered. "You others, see if there are any more students loitering where they've no right to be."

As Warrington manhandled Ron, Professor Umbridge smiled gleefully, and Millicent recoiled. No one was supposed to be happy when rules were broken. It was as though Umbridge enjoyed giving punishments. She didn't make rules so she could help people; she made rules to hurt them. Millicent had never really liked her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, but now she actively disliked her. Nonetheless, she did as she was told and followed the Headmistress.

It really didn't surprise Millicent to see Harry Potter with his head in the fire; more of a shock was Hermione Granger standing white-faced and anxious in the room. Hermione made no attempt to run, clearly knowing that she couldn't get away, and that even if she did escape she'd already been seen. "You idiot, Granger," Millicent muttered, backing Hermione against the wall while Draco was preoccupied with what Professor Umbridge was doing to Harry, "you've just thrown away your Hogwarts career." Hermione just glared at her.

As Dolores Umbridge wrestled Harry's wand from him, Draco came over, grabbed Hermione and prised hers from her grip. She fought back well, Millicent had to admit. Draco was flexible rather than strong, and Millicent didn't think he would ever be able to take her own wand away, but he eventually managed to take Hermione's. Once he had it, he held it between thumb and forefinger, as though reluctant to let a Muggleborn's wand touch too much of his flesh. Fearing that Draco or Pansy, who detested Hermione, might try to injure her, Millicent pushed Hermione right against the wall and stood with her back to her. Granger might have broken rules, but now she was caught, she should receive a fair punishment, not abuse. No one would fire a sneaky spell at Hermione with Millicent in the way.

The rest of the Inquisitorial Squad entered the room, with Ron and Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood in their grasps. Millicent's heart sank when she saw the latter pair. How many people was Harry Potter going to drag down with him? What could possibly be so important that Neville and Luna would throw away their futures to help him? She was horrified to see that the four had been gagged. What a sick thing to do!

She couldn't believe it when Professor Snape was called in so Umbridge could request more Veritaserum from him. More Veritaserum? Was Dolores Umbridge in the habit of feeding potions to students? And what did it matter who Harry Potter was talking to? Everyone knew he had next to nothing to do with the magical community. He couldn't be talking to anyone of note.

As Harry started babbling about 'Padfoot' and 'the place where it's at', much to the bewilderment of Professor Snape, Millicent relaxed her pressure on Hermione. No wonder the others looked so worried, Millicent thought. Harry's funny turn in the History of Magic exam addled his brains. Poor Harry Potter. He's gone from being a baby hero to the long-term ward at St Mungo's.

Umbridge didn't seem put off by Harry's nonsense, and started threatening to use the Cruciatus curse. Draco looked hungry to see the curse carried out, but Millicent felt sick to her stomach. There was clearly something wrong with Harry Potter. The boy looked desperate. She thought of the pain her mother had endured in the weeks before her death. She thought of the wispy-haired woman at the hospital - and when she looked at Neville Longbottom, furiously writhing despite having been half-strangled by Crabbe, and realised he was also thinking of what the curse had done to his parents, she knew she wouldn't allow Umbridge to perform it. It was illegal for good reason. Millicent would uphold the law.

As Dolores Umbridge revealed she'd sent Dementors after Harry, Millicent decided that sometimes you couldn't change things without disobeying. Adrian had been right. Sometimes rebellion was justified, and this time Millicent was going to be the rebel. This woman was a tyrant. Slowly she lowered her hand to the pocket where she kept her wand. This is it, she thought. After this I'll be lucky if I learn anything for my NEWTs, because the others will make sure I spend the next two years in the Hospital Wing...

Millicent's plan to disarm Umbridge fell apart when Hermione started crying into her back. Millicent moved away from her, feeling disgusted with the whole situation. Here was the Headmistress of Hogwarts, a woman charged with the care of all the children in the school, threatening to use the Cruciatus curse on one who was clearly having some sort of mental breakdown and making another have hysterics. As Hermione blathered a strange story to Umbridge, Millicent looked at the other captive students. She didn't believe Dumbledore would make a weapon. He didn't need to. Professor Dumbledore could take on any wizard - he'd knocked out Fudge and his Aurors in his office, hadn't he? From the look on the other students' faces, it was news to them too. Draco seemed all too willing to believe the tale, however, and greedy to get the weapon for himself.

I could speak up, Millicent thought. I could tell them all that Hermione's story is rubbish. But I doubt Umbridge would listen to me anyway, and if it stops her performing Cruciatus on Harry, let her believe it. Perhaps the situation will resolve itself without me having to do anything. When Umbridge left, with Harry and Hermione walking before her, Millicent felt a pang of guilt. Should she follow them? What if Umbridge were to cast Cruciatus on Harry out of the sight of everyone?

Draco looked at all the remaining prisoners with a scowl. "You're all in big trouble," he said, savouring the words. None of them looked especially scared, however, which spoiled his enjoyment of the situation. He stopped in front of Neville. He doesn't know, Millicent thought, half-alarmed and half-glad. He hasn't noticed how much Neville's changed. He thinks he's picking on the weak one. Neville's going to wipe the floor with him, given half the chance.

Draco took out his wand. "Let's have some fun. Crabbe, let go of Longbottom and remove his gag. Give him his wand back. Let's see how he does without Potter to back him up."

Millicent stepped back towards the wall. As the other members of the Inquisitorial Squad loosened their grip on their captives, eager to see the action, Ginny Weasley casually slipped her arm down by her side. Before the girl holding her could do anything, Ginny had stolen her wand and fired off a Bat-Bogey Hex at Draco. Millicent was impressed. Ginny Weasley must be pretty powerful - and vindictive - to be able to cast a hex like that without words and using an unfamiliar wand. An Impediment Jinx from Neville sent Pansy flat on her turned-up nose, and in the commotion, Luna and Ron were able to take their gags off and Stunners filled the air. Millicent didn't even raise her wand amid the hubbub. As all the other Squad members fell unconscious around her, Neville hit her with Expelliarmus, and she watched her wand fly away. She didn't care.

"Not much of a witch, is she?" Ginny sneered.

Millicent stood there, saying nothing. She didn't feel like she was much of a person at all, really, let alone a witch. She'd had so many opportunities to say what she thought, or turn her back on things she knew were wrong. She'd stayed silent and done nothing. If Ginny Weasley had a low opinion of her, Millicent had earned it.

"We need to go after Harry," Ron declared. "Don't waste time on her."

I should have had the courage to get out sooner, Millicent thought, barely paying attention to them. I should have been brave and resigned when I first wanted to. Or had the wit to see what Umbridge was like. Or had the loyalty to Dumbledore to rebel. Maybe I'm in Slytherin because I'm not fit for any other house.

"Because someone so big is easy to find, it never occurs to people that they might be lost," Luna mused, walking up to Millicent.

Neville alone seemed to understand. He raised the hand that had once helped her up from the grass when she'd fallen over, and Stunned Millicent with a faint smile.

**

The Inquisitorial Squad came round from being Stunned in Professor Umbridge's office. It had grown dark outside and all the kittens were sleeping in their plates, so they all knew it must be late at night.

"Where's Umbridge?" Draco mumbled, batting away Pansy's hand as she tried to fuss with his Bat-Bogey-ravaged face. "Where's Snape? He should have realised we were missing."

"Oh, it hurts," Goyle moaned.

Millicent stretched her arms and legs. All there. All working. She felt as though Neville's Stunner had concluded a lesson she'd been learning all through the year. Her parents had taught her that there was nothing wrong with being a half-blood, that she could take pride in herself. Adrian had taught her that it didn't matter if she was fat, plain and too tall, she was loveable to others. Eloise Midgen and Luna Lovegood had taught her that sometimes kindness comes from unexpected quarters, and that those who other people see as 'weak' often have the greatest inner strength. Even Professor Umbridge had had a lesson for Millicent; she'd taught her that the laws are only as good as those who make and enforce them.

Neville's lesson, his Stunner, had been the hardest and best. Millicent sat up knowing that if she went along with people doing the wrong thing she was also guilty, even if she didn't dirty her hands herself. She was guilty for not defending those who needed her. Do nothing, and bad things will happen because of your negligence.

As the Slytherins began to stand up and check themselves for bruises, Draco's eyes fastened on Millicent. She'd never had him look at her in that frozen way before; she wondered if this was what Harry Potter saw every time his gaze met Draco's. "And what the hell were you playing at?" Draco burst out. "Did you forget every spell you ever learned? You were utterly useless."

"Shut up, Draco," Millicent said calmly. "I didn't forget anything. I didn't want to fight back."

"Millie!" Pansy snapped. "Are you telling us you didn't even try to defend us?"

Millicent stood up. "I'm telling you I should have tried to defend Neville Longbottom. We had him under control, and Draco had no right to pick on him. What's more, we should all have spoken up when Umbridge suggested using the Cruciatus curse. It's illegal for a reason, because hurting someone that badly is morally wrong and can damage them for life." She ripped the silver 'I' off her robes along with a patch of cloth and threw it at Pansy's feet. "We all got exactly what we deserved."

Several gouts of coloured light threw her to the ground.

**

This time when Millicent regained consciousness, she became aware of a small set of paws pressing into her belly and a hand holding hers. She opened her eyes and looked straight into Adrian's. She was still in Umbridge's office, and now all the kittens on the plates were awake and watching her too. Her legs felt wrong, and her face seemed itchy, somehow.

"You're in a bit of a state," Adrian said ruefully, as Puss purred at her. He poked at the hole in her robes where her Inquisitorial Squad 'I' had once been. "Peek-a-boo cleavage! A look I could get used to. Did you do this, or did the others take it from you?"

Millicent tried to sit up. "Easy," Adrian said, pushing her back down. "I sent a first-year with a note for Professor Snape. Hopefully he'll get here soon."

"I threw my badge away," Millicent said. "Umbridge wanted to use the Cruciatus curse on Harry Potter, and things sort of snowballed from there." She patted her face. It had definitely been altered somehow. When she talked, it felt stiff, and beneath her fingers it felt hard and slick, scratchy when rubbed one way and smooth when rubbed the other. "Oh, I dread to think what I look like."

"Kind of scaly," Adrian admitted. "I think someone removed your bones below the knee, too. I checked you for broken bones, and your lower legs are completely floppy."

Millicent sighed. "I am going to be in such trouble next year. Did Draco or Pansy say anything?"

"When the rest of the Inquisitorial Squad came back to the common room, I asked Pansy where you were, and she said she didn't care. That said, she was fussing with her nose, and you know what she's like when she's got a mirror in her hand. None of the others would even say your name. The Bloody Baron helped me in the end - he got the castle ghosts to help me search, and ordered them not to tell a living soul what they were up to. He doesn't want people gossiping about his House."

"Where's Professor Umbridge?"

"I don't know. No one's seen her since about an hour after the History of Magic exam this afternoon."

"She was taking Harry Potter and Hermione Granger into the Forbidden Forest!" Millicent exclaimed. "You've got to tell someone. It's dangerous in there."

Adrian looked up as Professor Snape opened the door. Millicent found it hard to believe it had been less than twelve hours since she last saw him in the same setting, his dusty black contrasting with, but somehow comforting against, Umbridge's chintz. "Sir," she called, "you've got to go to the Forbidden Forest! Harry Potter..."

"...Is in the hospital wing," Professor Snape told her. "As are five of his friends."

"What about Professor Umbridge?" Millicent dreaded having to face Umbridge and tell her that she'd resigned from the squad, although she was fully prepared to do it.

"She, too, is under Madam Pomfrey's care. The Headmaster went into the forest to get her," Snape explained, squatting down beside her. He stroked her scales with his parchment-dry fingers. "You know, Bulstrode, it's never a good idea to turn on those who think they can rely on you."

The Headmaster! Millicent relaxed, safe in the knowledge that Dumbledore had returned. Did this mean Umbridge's reign was over? "They relied on my weakness, sir," she said. "They know how I feel about things. They just didn't think I'd act on them."

Severus Snape began patting a potion onto Millicent's skin. He spoke to Adrian. "I can give her some Skele-Gro, but she'll need help getting to bed tonight. Is there anyone to help her?"

"I'll ask Tracey Davies," Adrian replied. If Tracey thought Millicent had fallen out with Pansy, she'd probably help her.

Snape set the bottle of skin potion and a small phial down beside Millicent. "You'll need to use this every day for a week," he warned her. "If you don't complete the course, the hex will stick and next time you use it, you'll need to do it for a month. Mess that up, and you'll be like this for a year. If you make a mistake then, you might consider getting a job at a carnival. The other is Skele-Gro, to be taken when you're lying in bed."

"Thank you, sir," Millicent said.

"It was good of you to let me know of this," Snape said to Adrian. "Madam Pomfrey is rather busy, and the Hospital Wing is full. It's better to keep house matters within the house."

As their house master left, Adrian pocketed the skin potion. "I don't want Pansy knocking this down the sink 'by accident'," he said. "I'll hang onto it until we go home. You can rub it on when we're by the lake - it's only the left side of your face that's affected." After a swift kiss on her scaly skin, Adrian levitated Millicent and took her back to Slytherin house, her floppy lower legs dangling beneath her. Despite the fact that there was no going back now, Millicent was strangely happy.

After a poor night's sleep, thanks to the endless pins-and-needle pains of bones regrowing, Millicent faced breakfast with trepidation. Tracey Davies wasn't being friendly, but nor was she hostile. Pansy and Daphne refused to acknowledge Millicent's existence, dressing and leaving for breakfast without her. They hadn't harmed her or been mean in any way, though. It's funny, Millicent thought, but I disliked myself more when they liked me... perhaps it'll be a lonely two years, but at least I'll be happy with myself.

With a rueful smile she styled her hair in a way Eloise often wore hers when one side of her face was worse than the other. It minimised the appearance of the scales. Millicent was glad people didn't usually see any reason to look at her face. It'd be some time before anyone in the other houses noticed her skin.

She was slightly late to breakfast, and Adrian waved her over to a vacant seat next to him. "I don't think you need to worry about Draco and the others picking on you," he whispered. "They've got bigger things to worry about. It's all around the school, and all over The Daily Prophet - Draco's father, and the fathers of Crabbe, Goyle and Nott, have been taken to Azkaban!"

Millicent's jaw dropped. "What? Why?"

Adrian gulped. "You-Know-Who is back, and they were with him. It looks as though Potter was telling the truth after all."

"How do they know?" Millicent had believed Harry's tale since his interview in The Quibbler, but seeing it in the paper made it seem more horribly real. I picked a real time to choose sides, Millicent thought wryly, but at least I only had to leave the Inquisitorial Squad. It's probably much harder to leave the Death Eaters behind.

"They were caught attacking the Ministry," Adrian said. He reread the story quickly. "Harry Potter and his gang were there. How did they know what was going on?"

"He must've spoken to someone using Umbridge's fire," Millicent said, "although that wouldn't explain how the others knew something was up. You know, if I had stood by the Inquisitorial Squad..."

Adrian poured her a cup of tea. "If you had stood by them, perhaps Harry and Hermione would've gone alone and died. Or maybe no one would know the truth." He smiled. "You could've changed history, Millicent."

"Only a little bit."

"Draco's absolutely mortified, though. Crabbe and Goyle thought it was a huge laugh at first - they thought it'd be funny if people were scared of their families. Draco knew what it would mean, though, as did Nott."

Urquhart had caught the tail-end of Adrian's comment. "Poor Draco," he said, without genuine sympathy. "No daddy to look after him. He'll have to face life as it hits him, like the rest of us - without broomsticks to buy him a place on the Quidditch team, and no powerful family friends in the Ministry to make him feel special."

"That's harsh," Millicent said. "Draco loves his family. He'd rather have them than all the broomsticks in the world." She thought for a bit, then stood up and walked down to Draco's end of the table. She took a deep breath and said, "If any of you chaps need my help - the help I can give you - at any point, just let me know."

"Just go away, Millie," Pansy sighed. "Don't make me hex you." Pansy did sound reluctant; for all the other houses said about Slytherin, they were by far the most family-focussed house of all. More than unified, they were a clan, all related to one another in some way. Millicent was, by their standards, a bad apple, but she was their own bad apple.

"If you'd fought when we did," Draco pointed out, "our fathers might not be in that mess. I'm not going to forget that, Bulstrode."

Millicent shrugged. "If they hadn't been breaking the law, they wouldn't be in that mess. The offer's there, though. If you need the sort of help I can give you, I'll be there for you."

She returned to Adrian, and picked at her cereal. Adrian squeezed her hand, wanting to cheer her up somehow after her offer of friendship had been rejected. "Let's go outside," he said. "It'll be fun to spend the last days of term in the fresh air, and we can rub some potion on your skin."

**

By the last day of term, Millicent's face was nearly better. The rift between herself and her former friends was still there, but nothing too bad had happened to her. Her shampoo had been emptied, and somehow her ink bottle came undone on top of her books, but she was able to clean the books off and borrow some toiletries from Tracey Davies. She suspected Daphne of both spiteful events. Daphne was keen to move into the position of Pansy's best friend. Millicent could have told her she was wasting her time, as Pansy suspected Daphne of having her eye on Draco, and Draco of encouraging her. There was no way Pansy would want Daphne getting any closer. Millicent actually felt sorry for Pansy. Pansy's family weren't under any suspicion but she stuck like glue to Draco, which meant many students saw her as being sympathetic towards the Death Eaters. While she still had a few younger hangers-on, for the first time in her life Pansy was a little bit lonely.

Generally Millicent just got ignored by the other former members of the Inquisitorial Squad, although Pansy would often look up as if she were about to say something to her, then close her mouth and do something else noisily and obviously, as if to prove she'd never even thought of chatting to her former friend. Draco would talk to her occasionally, albeit when no one else was around, and Millicent suspected Narcissa was behind it. With Lucius in prison, it wouldn't hurt Draco to have a half-blood acquaintance. She didn't mind. Draco could be annoying, or nasty sometimes, but she still believed he wasn't as bad was everyone said he was. "I can't push him away," she explained to Adrian as they waited to board the Hogwarts Express. "If I do, who will he have to go to? His father's friends? Lucius and Narcissa have always been good to me. I can't condone what Lucius may have done, but I can't abandon Narcissa and Draco either."

Adrian simply put his arm around her and squeezed her. He'd probably never be able to make Millicent walk away from Draco and Pansy, but perhaps that was why he loved her. She had to be big - you couldn't fit a heart that large into a skinny body like Katie Bell's.

Millicent had found new friends, though. She'd grown even closer to Eloise after the night she caught Eloise and Justin out after curfew, and Tracey Davies now sat with her in lessons. Tracey actually knew her own Muggle relatives. Now Millicent was more or less over her dislike of Muggle items and customs (although she didn't think she'd ever overcome her disgust at the way they had to clean things with their own hands), Tracey had taken to showing her Muggle things. They'd even ventured into the Muggle studies classroom to look at a mail-order catalogue so Tracey could show her what a television looked like. Millicent hadn't been impressed. How did they know the televisions worked when the pictures in the catalogue didn't move?

As the train hissed and steamed, getting ready to pull out of the station, Eloise skipped up to Millicent and Adrian. "Hullo, you two. Fancy helping me fill a carriage?"

Millicent nodded. "Sure. Who else is there? Can I bring Tracey Davies?"

"The more, the merrier," Eloise grinned. "The others are Hufflepuffs, Wayne Hopkins and Megan Jones. We don't mind who joins us."

"Jones?" Millicent was excited. She knew a relative of a Holyhead Harpies Quidditch star was in Hufflepuff.

"Yes," Eloise laughed, "she's Gwenog's cousin. She's Quidditch mad too - you two should get along brilliantly. Although I reckon we should've asked Marietta Edgecombe to come in our carriage, because with her you and I would make a fine trio."

As it was, the three Hufflepuffs and the trio of Slytherins got along brilliantly. Wayne Hopkins was a Muggleborn, and Millicent was pleasantly surprised at how, well, wizardly he was. "We're not that different," Wayne said, with a smile. "All most people want is to raise their family and have a nice home, magical or otherwise. Although I reckon it's a good thing our mam doesn't know about cleaning Charms, or she'd make me use them and bawl any man from the Ministry off the doorstep when they came to arrest me. Decree or no decree, she'd be happy with a bit of Underage Wizardry if it got her off doing the hoovering."

Megan, meanwhile, avidly swapped Quidditch tips and tactical moves with Adrian. As he had finished at Hogwarts, she wasn't worried that he might pass Hufflepuff's tricks on to the Slytherin team.

Wayne and Millicent stopped their conversation as Draco Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle walked past the door of their compartment. "Hello," said Tracey, "what do you think they're up to?"

"Maybe Draco needs help when he goes to the toilet," Megan suggested, with a giggle.

Millicent frowned. Draco had been oddly quiet for the last few days, and she knew he was brooding on his father's imprisonment. "He's got something in mind..."

A few seconds later the sound of scuffling and flashes of spells made the trio sit up. They peered cautiously around the doorframe, and saw Harry Potter standing in the corridor, bewildered, with four Hufflepuffs and two Ravenclaws looking on, smiling. At their feet were three oozing bundles in Hogwarts robes. As Ron Weasley came to find his friend, they sat back down in their seats once more. Millicent handed round some Cauldron Cakes.

"They looked like rotten sausages," Adrian said, "or possibly slugs."

"Aren't you going to help Draco?" Eloise asked Millicent. "Have you fallen out that badly?" She looked like she wanted Millicent to say she hated Draco, Crabbe and Goyle.

"I would, but I can't do anything for them," she said, "not with that many spells on them. I'll take them to their parents when we reach London. If they're lucky, Miles Bletchley's aunt will be at King's Cross. She's a Healer. Besides, I'm willing to bet Draco was planning something for Potter. I'm not sure either of them are going to learn to be nice to one another, not unless they learn it the hard way."

"Do you still like Draco?" Eloise insisted. Adrian stared at Millicent, waiting for her response.

"He's not all bad. I think I'd like him better if he learned to think for himself, and stop believing everything he's told," Millicent said, stroking her scales thoughtfully. "But that's probably the hardest lesson of all to learn. It took me long enough to learn it."