Through Darkness and Light

Through Darkness and Light

Chapter 15

Similarities

Calrheane clasped the pin of her father's brooch, her fingers lingering for a moment before she pulled up the hood of her cloak. The moon's light filtered through the window, still bright as if it were full.

"He is well." Shra sat next to Calrheane. "I spoke with him earlier."

The sliver of moon disappeared behind a passing cloud, a dark shroud that seemed to cover the entire night sky.

"You do not have to go alone. He would go."

"He is angry with me." As was his right. She deserved his anger and she would bear it as long as it was needed. Zirak won't touch him. Not again.

"He is hurt, as anyone would be. He desires answers and only ones that you can give."

Calrheane turned from the window, her cloak clinging to her pants. Those answers would do more damage than good. She needed to believe that. "There is nothing I can do for him."

"You can ease his mind. He would understand."

"I will not tell him."

"You cannot keep it from him."

"I didn't mean to say anything." About Sirius Black or Zirak. Halloween, it had brought more surprises than she had counted on. The power being drawn from the Dark Forest had distracted her. She hadn't meant to say anything.

"What do you fear in telling him?"

Fear for him and herself. "I do not need you to play the role of my conscious. At least for tonight, leave me be."

"Whether or not tonight is Yavieba makes no difference. Why won't you tell him? And don't deceive yourself by saying you don't trust him."

"Remus has enough darkness in his life without adding mine." Calrheane took placed a small dagger in her belt. The sword would be more effective but she couldn't bear to wear it. Not yet. "I refuse to give Zirak another to manipulate."

"That is for Remus to decide, not you. He will choose his own fate. If he decides to fight then he will face Zirak; nothing you do will prevent that."

"Already his spirit is weakening against the taint," Calrheane whispered. "With each transformation Remus looses more of himself. He won't live through a confrontation with Zirak."

"Then take him to the glade. He must be whole if he is to survive. You can help him achieve that."

"There are other ways for his spirit to heal."

Shra sighed and bowed her head. "You know how I feel about this. Your parents will not come. For once, allow some good to come of this night."

"I know, but I must go."

"Then do not go alone!"

The force of Shra's words stunned her. Yavieba held the one hope that she might be able to see her parent's spirit one last time and correct the mistakes she had made. Shra understood that, though she disagreed but let Calrheane go.

"Time will remain and the past will continue to go unchanged. But you can share that with others, those who understand. Take him with you, let him put aside the guilt and put Lily and James to rest."

"I'm ashamed of the past; I won't share that with anyone."

Memories of the night she told Legolas her decision to leave Valinor flashed by. After all these years she still recalled on his face. He understood. He always had. And yet she could not share her shame with him.

"If I did not allow Legolas to comfort me on this night what makes you believe I would take Remus? An acquaintance who holds anger towards me?"

"If you do not know the reason then I will not be the one to speak of it." Shra sat there with a knowing look, her head tilted to the side.

Calrheane's head shot up. No, what Shra said meant nothing. What she felt meant nothing. Remus meant nothing.

"I have tired of your games Shra; I will play them no more. "What is your meaning?"

"You are a grown elf, you figure it out."

The anger she felt towards herself and her confusion found an outlet in Shra. But everything she did was done only with Calrheane's interest at heart. Even when her shame kept her from acknowledging that.

"Forgive me, my actions were not just."

"There is nothing to forgive; you carry much on your shoulders." Shra's cold nose brushed her hand.

"I don't have the right to pass my frustration to you. Each time we speak it ends in confrontation. How is it that after all these years, this is what we've become?"

"Because I am pushing you. You struggle to understand but still fear the rejection this world might give you. You cannot continue as you are, so I keep you from running."

"But if you didn't then I would never face what haunts me."

"You are my only companion; I will never have another," Shra whispered. "I do not wish to see you die."

Calrheane lifted Shra's head so they were eye-level with each other. Yes, she understood the sorrow and loneliness Shra felt. They were bound by friendship. Two immortals preparing for a darkness neither had any hope of surviving.

"Either way, I will fall. For me, there is no hope," Calrheane said. "But I will give hope. All I wish for is forgiveness."

"You still do not understand. Your parents forgave you."

Their lives were constrained to time and the arguments between her and Shra wouldn't stop until she finally let go of the past.

Calrheane stood. "I will return."

"If you must, then I will wait."

"Thank you, my friend."

Just as she was about to leave the room, Shra called out to her. "You should take Remus with you."

Calrheane smirked and headed out the door. Stubborn as always.

The darkened corridors called to her, its halls lit only by the faint light of the moon. A part of her knew Remus would understand. She didn't want Remus to know that in the end it was her choice not to forgive her parents, even after she understood their reasons for sending her away.

The fëa pulled at her, dragging the fringes of her consciousness into her world. The current was stronger on this night than any other, the boundary between this one and the spirit world weakened. But never before had Calrheane felt such power coming from the fëa, like it had its own will.

She gave into its promoting and embraced the power. Bright lights and colors assaulted her. The intensity caught her off guard.

Careful, so as to become accustomed to this new change, Calrheane opened her eyes. The fëa rushed past her; a raging torrent of colored strands, each connected to a physical being.

There, among the fast-moving stream of spirits, was one she recognized. Harry. What was he doing out now? And why was his spirit reaching out to her like this?

It was a bright green thread tinged with a blue. Two small lights circled around Harry, pulsing with the power of Mandos. But the moon had not yet peeked yet; it was too soon for spirits to cross into this world.

Calrheane's fingers brushed Harry's essence. The moment she did she felt every emotion within him. How was that possible? He was only thirteen! With every ounce of Harry's being, he loved his parents but mingled in with that love was a terrible pain.

She released the current and stumbled back. Her hand clutched the Evenstar necklace she wore, its points digging into her palm. He was so young; too young to feel that. It was wrong.

Guilt swept through her. If she had intervened twelve years ago this might not have been there. But Fate had destined his parents to death, giving Harry the key to destroy the dark mortal, Voldemort.

Who was she, another bound by Fate, to change the course already laid? Fate would not be stopped no matter how hard one fought. His pain wasn't her fault.

Yet, even though she tried to convince herself of this fact, she found herself heading in Harry's direction.

* * * * * * *

The smell of sulfur hung in the air even though the torches had been snuffed out hours earlier. The portraits snorted when the light from his wand came near.

"Do you mind you cretin! We're trying to sleep!" yelled one particularly fat man wearing a star shaped nightcap.

"Sorry." Harry pointed his wand away. He glanced at the Marauder's Map. His feet were the only ones on this hallway.

His winter jacket was tucked underneath his arm. Perhaps he should go back. The fire was still warm and maybe there were leftover marshmallows from the stash Fred and George had brought.

Shadows fluttered on the walls, dancing as his light passed by. The urge didn't go away. He needed to be outside.

"Do not concern yourself with Black." What had Shra meant?

Harry shook his head. Even a wolf was keeping secrets from him!

At least he and Hermione had managed to work things out. It was never easy being angry with a friend, especially her. They both decided to keep Elessar's memory a secret, even from Ron.

Hermione learn all she could about the map first. Nothing happened when Harry tried and the map remained blank when Hermione had attempted again.

The Marauder's map pulsed in his hand, grabbing his attention. A set of feet headed towards him with the label, 'Calrheane Elessar.'

Harry's heart pounded. No adjacent corridors in this section. He couldn't avoid her.

"Mischief managed." He pointed his wand at the map and the ink disappeared. "Knox."

Moments after he snuffed out the light from his wand, another blue light crept around the corner. All he heard was his ears ringing.

Professor Elessar appeared and. Harry noticed she a small blue orb floated in the air. For once she wasn't wearing a dress but pants that looked suitable for travel.

"Um, good evening Professor" he said giving her his best smile.

Elessar regarded him and Harry fought the urge to squirm. Her golden eye color told him she was viewing the fëa, which she explained during class once.

As far as he was concerned, she cheated. It was easy to use elven magic and get a sense of how someone was feeling. He shuffled his feet and rubbed his shoulders. And he never would be comfortable with it.

"See anything special?"

Elessar's eyes widened and her eyes changed to their normal color. "Yes."

"What?" She didn't just admit that she saw something important. Professor Elessar didn't do that.

"The night is calling to you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your spirit is restless." Elessar stared for several heartbeats until she nodded. "I was unsure of this until a few moments ago. Your spirit is reacting to your parents."

Harry's breath stilled and a chill swept through his body. Questions tumbled in his mind. He tried speaking. Nothing came out.

Elessar made no effort to comfort or explain. Tonight he just didn't have the patience to deal with her indifferent attitude or neutral expressions. She turned to leave and he grabbed her arm.

"No, you can't leave it like this. I need you to explain to me what you meant. My parents are dead!" Tears filled his eyes. Dead people were dead. They weren't coming back, not even elven magic was that powerful.

"Do you wish to know?" Elessar asked.

He didn't care if she was angry. He needed to know. "I want the truth."

"Then come with me."

"What? Where are you going?" Something tugged at him, that same urging that brought him outside in the first place.

"Tonight is Yavieba."

"You realize that means nothing to me?"

Elessar sighed. "I am aware. This is difficult for me. You are the first I have asked to accompany me."

"Go where? And why? It's clear that you don't want me to come, so why bother asking?"

"You must come. It is your parents' desire. And mine as well." Elessar's voice trailed off, as if there was more she wanted to say but wasn't able too.

"Please, just tell me."

"On this night the boundary between this world and the fëa one has weakened. It is a night of power, but for the spirits of mortals it also allows them to reach out to their loved ones."

His anger vanished, blown away by the gust of her words. "My parents, they're here?"

Elessar nodded and Harry thought he dedicated sadness in her eyes. "I haven't heard of this happening. Their love for you is fighting against the current and has even brought me here to guide you."

His heart lightened. They were here, watching over him. He wasn't alone.

Elessar stepped closer, the blue orb bobbed out of the way. "Harry, will you come?"