Through Darkness and Light

Through Darkness and Light

Chapter 2

Old Memories

Staring across the sea of pointed black hats, Remus swallowed the nausea circling his stomach. The Great Hall shone with the school's colors, all four banners waving proudly on a magical wind.

The Sorting Hat's song rang through the hall. To Remus it was a wordless tune, carrying him to days long gone when he sat in those exact same tables.

The teachers laughed and lightly conversed with each other. He was ashamed to be sitting with them, his patched robes next to their pristine ones. He ran a hand through his brown hair and imagined how his distinct graying strands stood out in the light.

Dumbledore rose and held his hands for silence. "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say and one is indeed serious. I think I'll get it out of the way so you can enjoy the lovely feast..."

Remus adjusted his seat, concentrating on keeping his face neutral. Memories flooded him, ones that he used to treasure and now left a bitter taste. Maybe he shouldn't have come; he wasn't ready to face the past.

The seat next to him was empty. Who was supposed to be there?

"We are currently playing host to a few of Azkaban's guards, dementors, as some saw on the train," announced Dumbledore. "They are here on behalf of the Ministry of Magic. Please do nothing to provoke them; they don't understand excuses."

"On a much happier note," Dumbledore continued, "I am pleased to welcome three new teachers to our ranks this year."

Shocked expressions filled the student's faces at Dumbledore's announcement.

"First off, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Remus clasped his shaking hands behind his back as he bowed and sat down. His eyes were glued on Harry and the adoration shining off him as he clapped for Remus. He barely registered Dumbledore announcing Hagrid's job as Care of Magical Creatures.

The doors to the Great Hall creaked open, pulling him from his thoughts. Normally, this would have gone unnoticed, the small noise swallowed by the welcome feast. However, a wind swept through the hall, its touch like ice.

Several candles snuffed out and his breath materialized as a white mist. Unbidden images on the train came back, the dementor reaching into their compartment.

A woman appeared in the doorway, her brown hair falling past her shoulders.

His werewolf blood struggled, straining against his control. It needed to be free, to run before the light sought him.

What was going on? What light?

The students did not see the new arrival and the woman turned to leave.

Dumbledore spoke up, "Ah, yes. Professor Elessar, our newest addition to the curriculum."

Silence fell for a brief moment as students swiveled in their seats to see who Dumbledore referred to.

The woman hesitated and Dumbledore motioned her forward. The swoosh of her dress and flickering candles were the only sounds that Remus heard, at least until the students gasped.

A large timber wolf, gray fur flecked with white, trotted at her side. The wolf came to Elessar's thigh and glared at the students.

"Professor Elessar has kindly agreed to begin a new program at Hogwart's," Dumbledore explained above the mumbling voices. "She will be teaching Study of Elvish Magic."

Finally noticing the curved tip at the end of her ear, Remus's jaw dropped. What? This couldn't be possible.

Elessar gave no outward notice of the surprise she caused. Her face was blank, devoid of any emotion, leaving a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach. Was this how all elves appeared to humans, aloof and distant?

"As you can see," continued Dumbledore, "she is an elf. Her kind no longer exists in this world, but I assure you the stories of the Eldar are real."

Elessar took her seat next to Remus, her face pale in the candlelight. As soon as she did his blood surged, the werewolf tearing apart his control. He clutched the fabric of his pants.

"You are a nauro," Elessar stated.

"What?" he asked his voice hoarse.

Her eyes were intense and unwavering, a challenging gaze that left no secrets hidden. His soul was bare before her.

"I did not know the taint still existed," she said.

The werewolf howled. It felt her magic gathering.

In the distance there was a tall fortress, once white walls now blackened from evil. Darkness hung about this place, lingering in the very air. A beast stood upon the top-most tower, its eyes of fire staring at him.

Come to me, it called. Follow the path.

No, he wanted to yell, but no sound came. He was frozen, paralyzed by the power of this being.

A hand rested on his shoulder and the werewolf fought harder.

"Do not give into the taint."

"She is right," another voice said, "if you fall now, your spirit will be lost forever. There is much left you have to fight for."

Light engulfed his senses and warmth spread throughout his body. He latched onto it. A guide, that's what he needed.

"Here, this will help."

Remus opened his eyes. A goblet of wine was held before him. "What...?"

"Trust me," Elessar smiled.

"In this regard, she knows better than any other."

"Huh?" he nearly spit out his wine when he saw the wolf sitting next to him. "Did you just talk to me?"

"Of course it was me, who else would be speaking to your mind?" the wolf asked. "I am called Shra. And this rude elf, is Calrheane."

"Rude? I have done nothing to warrant such a comment."

"It was your fault the taint awakened. He would have been fine if you didn't sit near him."

"I would have warned Dumbledore if I had known, but he said nothing of this."

"Really," Remus cut in before they could go on, "it's fine. I was caught off guard, that's all. Though, I don't exactly know what happened."

The smile on Calrheane's face faded. "You saw something didn't you? A place of darkness and evil."

"How did you..."

"It was known as Tol-in-Gaurhoth, the Isle of Werewolves. It has long since been destroyed, but its power still exists."

"Shra," Calrheane said, in a low tone.

"You are right. This is a conversation best left for another time. Perhaps when there are fewer ears."

Remus opened his mouth, but only shook his head. What was going on?

The werewolf stirred within him even now, a restless presence whose entire focus was on the elf next to him.

"I have never felt this way," he admitted.

"That is unsurprising," Calrheane said. "The taint is from the ancient world, it is natural that you would react to me."

"I see."

His impulses screamed that he ask her more, the lost knowledge clearly something she knew about. How many sleepless nights had he spent pondering over the werewolf blood?

Now the answers were there in front of him. Yet, he said nothing. He realized a part of him didn't want to know. The look on her face when she called him a nauro sent a chill through him, reaching to his soul.

Calrheane's hands shook when she reached for her own goblet. She seemed to have forgotten him and his brief lapse, now her attention was on all the students staring at her.

"Am I different that you would look at me so?"

Remus blushed. "I apologize, that was rude of me."

"Do not concern yourself."

Obviously, they didn't have a great start, but he had a feeling it had nothing to do with what he was. It seemed there was something else bothering her, a deeper hurt that made her appear nervous.

"Please," he whispered, "your actions a moment ago seemed so human; it just caught me off guard."

Her eyes widened. Then the expression was gone and her indifferent appearance was back.

He knew how she felt, out of place and alone. Perhaps it was that understanding which made him try again to speak with her.

"I hope I don't appear rude, but I'm shocked to see you. I was unaware that elves were allowed to return to this world."

Calrheane was silent, glancing at the gathered students. "You know of the history, I am impressed."

"Only a little, most has been lost."

"I dwelled with my kin in the Undying lands, but it was not my home."

From the way it sounded, she hadn't left on the best of terms. He was drawn by her words, wondering why an elf would not find peace in paradise. It was said that the Vala, god-like beings who created this world, called the elves back from the mortal world. The reasons why had been forgotten.

"Many still fear the past," she continued. "There are those who do not wish for me to be here."

"I think," he said slowly, "it's wise to hold some fear of the past. Entire civilizations can be destroyed by truths while other can give insight into the future."

Calrheane nodded. "The past binds all, some more than others."

"Yes, it does."

"Like yours."

His breath caught in his throat. She had no right.

"I referred to your blood," Calrheane said, "the darkness that is a part of you."

He didn't care; what she said hit too close to home. Perhaps it was his turn to pry a little.

"Speaking of the past," Remus commented, "were you born in this world or in Valinor?"

The corners of her mouth pulled back in a tight line. "I was one of the last to leave, sailing with my father's close friends, Legolas Greenleaf and Gimli the dwarf."

There was sadness in her voice and he was drawn to that. Perhaps when they had first looked at each other they had seen the truth, both running from the past.

"You must have lived for a long time. I must say, you're looking good."

"I do not age."

Remus smiled. "Never mind, I was thinking from a human viewpoint."

"I see."

It was interesting to see the gaps between their cultures, something that he hadn't been expecting.

The feast passed in whirl of orange streamers and laughter. His smile did not waver and he listened to the conversations around him. How long had it been since he'd felt this at ease?

"I do not wish to inconvenience you," Calrheane said after a time, "but would you show me the grounds?"

Remus fumbled with his fork. "Of course, but why would you ask me?"

"Should I not have?"

"It's just that," he sighed and whispered, "my condition. Even now, it's not pleased to be near you."

"To overcome his power means to fight. Can you think of no better way?"

"I..."

"He means," Shra said from underneath the table, "that he'd love to spend time with us. After all, I'm great company."

Calrheane huffed. "You? Not that I have seen."

"That's because I'm with you."

"If this is a problem," she said to Remus, "I can inquire from another."

"No," he said hastily. "It's fine; simply something I'm not used too."

A shadow passed over the table and they both looked up.

The sight of Snape smiling caused the bile in Remus's stomach to rise up his throat. Even the way Snape moved appeared sleazy; it's no wonder why he'd been such a git growing up.

Snape offered her his hand. "I see Dumbledore has succeeded in any adding another to the staff. I'm charmed to meet you. Severus Snape. It is such an honor to have one of your status teaching at Hogwarts."

She nodded though did not speak.

Snape leaned down and planted a kiss on her fingers. "If you ever need anything, please, feel free to stop by and see me."

What was going on? All night Snape had glared at her and now he was trying to make friends?

"If the need arises I shall take your offer." She placed her offended hand on her lap, gripping the other over it.

"Of course," he replied and faced Remus. "Lupin, I see you've managed to get yourself a job."

Snape didn't try to hide the sneer in his voice or push down his curling lips that looked more like a snarl than a smile.

"Yes, I was rather fortunate. This job turned up rather unexpectedly, it was kind of Dumbledore to think of me."

Snape glared, his hair shining from all the candlelight. Twelve years had gone by and the loathing still remained.

It was nice to see some things didn't change.