A Gentle Correspondence

A Gentle Correspondence

8 May

Harry Potter

c/o Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Hogsmeade, Scotland

Mr. Potter,

In the interest in maintaining a cordial relationship, we at Gringotts Bank are obliged to express our thanks to you for your defeat of the so-called Lord Voldemort on Saturday last. We are also mindful of the fact that, due to various causes unrelated to your personal merits, you are also one of Gringotts' largest depositors.

However, we must regretfully issue this correspondence in order to satisfy claims for damages incurred during the unauthorized entry by yourself and three others into the lower chambers of the bank on the morning of 1 May. For the present, we are willing to overlook certain incidents which could result in criminal prosecution.

Attached herein is an itemized list of charges. Timely payment is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Bradrok

Manager, Department of Claims, Gringotts Bank, London

Wheeled cart, smashed - 30 Galleons, 12 Sickles, 4 Knuts

Track, damaged by derailment of above - 13 G, 14 S, 8 K

Replenish security potion used in lower chambers - ingredients 2 G, 13 S, 9 K, labor 15 G, 23K

Heat damage to walls and floor of Lestrange family vault - 45 G, 8 S, 21K

Removal and disposal of replicated false gold from the same - 14 G, 16 S, 6 K

Antique cup, purportedly property of the late Madam Lestrange - 5,000 G (approx. value if sold at auction)

Loss of full-grown guard dragon - 254 G, 13 S, 28 K

Burn paste for bank employees pursuing the above - 1 G, 12 S, 2 K

Healers' fees - 13 G

Damage to underground corridors - materials 518 G, 9 S, 12 K, labor 298 G, 13 K

Floor polish, main lobby - 14 S, 2 K

Damage to front doors - 65 G, 7 S, 19 K

Destruction of two Probity Probes - 7 G, 13 S, 22 K

Accountants' fees - 17 G, 11 S, 5 K

Copying fees - 3 G, 3 S, 3 K

Total - 6,303 Galleons, 14 Sickles, 20 Knuts

Gringotts reserves the right to add other charges incurred in the collection of the above.

***

22 May

H. Potter

The Burrow

Ottery St. Catchpole, Devon

Mr. Potter,

We have received no answer to our letter of 8 May and kindly request your prompt attention. (Copy of the same is enclosed.) We trust the original merely went astray. From reports in the Daily Prophet, we also realize that your schedule has been fully occupied by both personal and official duties.

Please remember that interest will accrue on the balance due at a rate of eleven and seven-sixteenths percent, compounded monthly.

Sincerely,

Bradrok, Gringotts Bank, London

***

2 June

H. Potter

12 Grimmauld Place

London

Or wherever else you might be hiding

Potter,

If you do not respond within five business days, we will be forced to rely on more comprehensive collection measures.

Bradrok

***

9 June

Kingsley Shacklebolt

Ministry of Magic

London

Interim Minister Shacklebolt,

Gringotts Bank wishes to lodge a formal complaint against Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger under Ministry of Magic Statue 11235-42 for extensive damages caused to the bank's premises on 1 May. We are also contemplating filing criminal charges for trespassing, robbery, assault, and bodily injury.

We have attempted to settle this matter amicably with the principals, but have only received an insufficient, token payment from Mr. Potter and two feet of parchment from Miss Granger accusing us of harboring stolen goods and cruelty to animals. May we remind you that we have, of course, complied with all Ministry regulations regarding dragons and filed the appropriate documents in triplicate.

If, due to political reasons, you wish to avoid prosecution of two of your newest trainee Aurors, we are willing to accept garnishment of their wages as a compromise. As an illustration of our desire for reconciliation, we impart to you the knowledge that we have declined to assess the usual penalty of termination (of his employment or otherwise) against their accomplice Griphook. He has graciously agreed to accept a transfer to the Gringotts' branch in Vladivostok.

We feel that it is in the best interests of both wizards and goblins to resolve these disputes at the earliest opportunity. Then we can address the more pressing matter of refinancing loans made to the Ministry under Minister Thicknesse's regime. Gringotts loan officers were coerced by government agents into accepting below-market rates of interest. The fact that the responsible parties are now in prison does not eliminate the obligation of the present administration. We trust that a mutually acceptable bargain can be reached.

Sincerely,

Turndew

Vice-President, Gringotts Bank, London

***

12 June

Percy Weasley

Ministry of Magic

London

Mr. Weasley,

While we are unhappy that the Minister for Magic has delegated this important matter to an underling, we hope your involvement can help expedite a final solution.

We approve of the Ministry's proposal to allocate the custody of a Welsh Green dragon hatchling to Gringotts. We are also willing to take the nesting mother, especially since she is reputed to have a fierce temper. Return of certain goblin made artifacts currently in the possession of convicted Death Eaters is also a gesture that will be looked upon favorably by Gringotts management.

As for the settlement of Mr. Potter's account, a disappearing sword does not constitute adequate collateral.

The End