I Understand

HORROR

Harry was glad that his gasp had been covered up by the sounds of Draco's crying. He was dumbfounded. All these years he had thought that Draco was well on his way to becoming the next generation of Death Eater. For 6 years he had hated him, despising him for every hurt hr had caused him and his friends. Now, in their 7th year he finds out that everything he had thought about this boy was a lie.

In that instance he knew that Draco acted as he did to keep himself alive. Harry had noticed that the confrontations between himself and Draco had slacked off in the last few months. Now you know why Potter, he thought to himself. He knew all about instinct. His mother had died to save his life and there was no way he was going to die by the same hand that had taken his parents lives. He did what he had to do. Plain and Simple. What's the Muggle saying don't sweat the small stuff. Harry lived by that rule.

Knowing that he couldn't leave until he had heard all that Draco had to say, Harry settled himself quietly into a chair at the table behind where Draco lay. Making sure that the cloak covered every part of his body he got ready to listen. A new respect for the Slytherin started deep within him. Let's not take it to far, he thought, this fascination with his enemy had caused him more trouble than he was worth.

Draco had finally gotten hold of his emotions. Sitting up he glanced at his professor just missing the look on Snape's face that his words had caused. Harry, on the other hand, had seen what Draco had not. In an unguarded moment Snape had let his true feelings show. Harry saw disbelief, loathing, frustration, and extreme anger all war with each other on Snape's face. Filing that information for later use, Harry concentrated on the blond-haired boy that was sitting on the table.

Not looking at Snape, Draco started to talk softly. "My father had a Revel tonight. He had hopes that tonight I would take the Dark Mark. When I refused he cast crucio on me."

His voice hardening with hate, Draco continued. "The others just watched, laughing. I managed to stay standing for the first one but by the second I was on the floor curled up in a ball. I refused to scream so he cast it again. By then I was too far gone to make any sound. That's when the beatings began. Each one of those present taking a turn kicking and hitting me."

"I am not sure how long this went on. It stopped suddenly when Voldemort arrived. I HATE HIM! How could he think that doing this would make me agree to become little more than a slave?"

Draco took a moment to calm himself back down. He had been aware that his voice had risen and he was practically yelling. Taking a drink from the glass sitting next to him, he drew a deep breath and continued speaking. The contempt in his voice easily recognizable.

"Voldemort told me he was disappointed in me. That he had had such high hopes and I had ruined them. As if I cared. He wondered what my punishment should be. I struggled to my feet. I asked him if letting me go was an option. No, right out of the question. Laughing, he agreed with me. The others were laughing as well and that made me sick. Puppets all of them! He cast crucio on me and I passed out."

"When I came to my Mother was there. She was terrified. Lucius told her that she was going to pay for her son's refusal tonight."

Draco's breathing was harsh in the silence. Harry could feel the tears running down his cheeks but was to afraid to brush them away for fear of being discovered. His respect for Draco grew as he watched the other boy wrestle with his emotions back under that famous Malfoy control. It took a few minutes before he could continue.

Draco felt drained. He was also angry with himself. The pride of being a Malfoy was also the pride that kept him from becoming one of Voldemort's minions. His name was all he had from his family. That and his fortune and he would give it all up to have a normal loving family.

He was not telling Snape everything. What he had been feeling and his thoughts were none of his professors business. Nor the Headmasters whom Snape was going to be visiting after he and Draco were done. It was their routine. He told Snape, Snape told Dumbeldore. What Dumbledore did with the information Draco did not know?

But what Draco had been thinking right before losing consciousness was his own business. Shaking from the aftereffects of multiple crucaitus curses he saw a pair of green eyes covered by glasses and a head of hair he was dying to tame. Oh God, why did it have to be him? Draco thought to himself, you don't fancy him. you hate him. Now get this over with so that you can go to bed. The thought of bed made him think what it would be like to get his fantasy in his bed.

Grunting, Draco slid off the table and started to pace back and forth while Snape stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, watching him. Stopping several times to speak he would shake his head and continue his pacing. He could find no words to bring to horrific images out. Shuddering he came to a stop in front of Professor Snape. With tears flowing down his face he told his friend about the brutal rape of his own Mother.

"She tried to run. It was quite, eerily quite. She was afraid to even scream. I tried to go to her. I fought the men holding me but I was too weak. They forced me to watch. I yelled at her to run but it was too late."

His breathing becoming ragged, he fought for control. "Lucius was the one who caught her. He held his own wife for Voldemort to rape. This was, to me, an affront to everything that he says about family. He started telling her how much she would like it. She just lay there, not fighting. I somehow managed to break away from my captors. Lucius saw this and cast crucio on me before I had taken two steps. He pulled my mothers robes up and Vol...Voldemort lay on top of her."

Wiping at the tears on his face Draco felt suddenly weak. His knees gave way and he sank to the floor sobbing. Snape knelt beside him but did not take him in his arms like he wanted to do. He had to let Draco talk knowing that this would help him heal. He had not spoken a word for over an hour. Snape's face was blank except for his yes which burned black with anger.

"She...she just lay there. Her face, Oh God, her face was so blank. She made no sound. You could hear Voldemorts grunts and the others laughter. There was a ringing in my ears but I knew she made no sound. When he was done he got up and laughed at her. Lucius left her on the floor with her robes pushed up. They left then. I crawled to her but she wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't answer my pleas for her to say something. I fixed her robes and picked her up to take her to her room. She still had not spoken by the time we got to her rooms. I left her there with a loyal house-elf and came back here. She wouldn't look at me. She wouldn't speak to me."

"And I left her there...again," he whispered the tears still falling down his face.

When he had said nothing more after a few minutes, Snape felt he was done. He withdrew a vial from his robes and handed it to Draco. Speaking for the first time in over an hour he told him, "It is a dreamless sleep potion. Go to your room and we will talk in the morning."

Taking the vial from Snape he slowly got up to leave. Stopping at the door Draco glanced back to his friend. With a voice choked with emotion he asked, "does it get any easier?"

Snape walked to the boy and putting his hand on his shoulder squeezing gently. For once he was not ashamed for Draco to see the emotion on his face. "No it doesn't, but we deal with it the best that we can. Remember, I understand." Nodding Draco walked from the room. Snape sighed and exited the room no doubt on his way to the Headmasters office.

As the door to the classroom closed, Harry finally let his emotions break free. It had hurt immensely trying to hold everything in. Great shudders and gasps for air signified how strongly he felt about what he had just heard. It had taken all of his willpower not to go to Draco and offer him the comfort that he so desperately needed.

He whispered Snape's final words to Draco, "I understand." As he got up to leave he vowed that he would find a way into that boy's heart because tonight, Draco had found his way around the walls that Harry had built straight into his heart.

He was going to help him. Whatever the cost.