The Ginny and Draco Diaries

Thanks a bunch to Dew Bee and Neen Queen for helping and editing and such!


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CHAPTER ONE - To Snog, Or to Sabotage

Monday - Draco

I am in denial. I most likely picked up this skill from my dear old dad, what with his "The Dark Lord will rise again" attitude and all. I can't believe that Weasley girl had the nerve to kiss me. I mean sure, I kissed her first, but it can't be my fault... can it? Of course not, I choose to blame that stupid red-haired, hazel-eyed, gorgeous, amazing.... WEASLEY.

This denial thing isn't as easy as I thought. I may need to contact father and ask him how it's done.

Monday - Ginny

I am in heaven. I kissed him! HAH! I am on the verge of dancing wildly, but alas - Penny and Dinah are in the room, and me dancing often (always...) ends in injury. But honestly, who could have guessed my plan would actually work? Thank you,

B-grade American movies, you are my saviour.

But the question is; what the devil am I going to do with myself now that I've locked lips with a Malfoy? For starters, if Ron found out, it would certainly be a tossup between who got bashed first - me, or darling Draco. And anyway, I don't want my new honey sporting a black eye. ...Or do I? It could only enhance his bad-boy charm.

So far today there have been no Draco-sightings, but I remain hopeful. I walk very slowly past broom closets now, on the off chance that there will be a repeat of Saturday's escapades, because that would certainly not be a bad thing.

Tuesday - Draco

At times like these it is necessary to update ones goals. I have come to feel that perhaps killing Potter may be harder than I thought (but I will certainly still be striving towards this happy possible outcome), and that I may have to modify my old goal number four - settle down and have some kids. This seems somewhat improbable, given my current love life. Or lack thereof, considering what I accomplished today.

I know I said all that rubbish about actually liking that awful, freckled, Muggle-lover, but I would like to retract those comments and start anew, with fresh, hateful and snide remarks.

So, as I was saying, today I severed all ties between myself and the aforementioned freckled-one. I passed her in the hall and gave her a note - quite a brilliant plan of mine I thought. I decided that actually talking to her could be dangerous, considering having my mouth and her mouth moving within an easy distance of each other could only end in passionate snogging.

My note will most certainly make her broken-hearted, and I, as a Malfoy, will point and laugh. Because that, as I am told, is what Malfoys do best, no wait - second best, after being evil in general. And so, with these revelations, here are my revised goals for the future:

Evil

DRACO'S ^ GOALS FOR THE FUTURE (that do not involve red-haired girls of any description)

Kill Potter, Granger and The Weasel if and when the opportune moment arises. Also, I wouldn't pass up on a chance to maim and murder certain individuals including: Filch, that Gilderoy Lockhart git, and oh lets say...all the inhabitants of Gryffindor Tower?

Stay away from The Weasley Weed (a.k.a. The Freckled One, a.k.a. ...well, you know who I mean.)

Become completely perfect in every way (yes, I know I am not far off.)

Be in a Broadway Production. (Preferably 'Guys and Dolls' or similar)

Keep staying away from The Weasley Weed (a.k.a. The freckled one, and so on, and so forth)

Learn to beat Crabbe at chess (although he is known to get stuck in doorways and pick fights with his own reflection, he does have a remarkable gift for chess).

Make sure that Pansy Parkinson AND Blaise Zabini, both get the idea that yes, I am single, and no, I will not go out with them.

Continue to keep staying away from The Weasley Weed (a.k.a Th- ...Oh I really can't be bothered.)

Win Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, and knock that smarmy bastard Lockhart off his pedestal.

Defeat The Dark Lord and take over the world. God knows it can't be hard if Potter did it.

And there, in writing, are my new and improved goals for the future, which I will adhere to at all costs. Oh wait. I forgot one!

Stop biting my nails.

Tuesday - Ginny

Oh the horror of it all! My heart is broken. I think if I jumped up and down I could probably make out the sound of the little tiny pieces of it jiggling around in my rib cage.

It seems I am not in love heaven after all...and...god, I can't believe I am saying it, but it also seems that I will NEVER get down Draco's pants. This is the worst blow of them all. Also, it hardly seems relevant, but I don't think I will ever dance wildly again. So at least one good thing has come of it, and no innocent by-standers will ever be harmed by my arm flailing and leg wobbling again. Happiness is only a distant memory for me.

He passed me a note. A NOTE. That was all I got. It was a crummy note too, I think he tore the paper out of a History of Magic book, because on the back is a picture of a bunch of trolls, participating in various troll-rebellions and whatnot.

Though it pains me to see it, I will stick it into my diary here, because it is the only thing I have left to remember him by. I think I may as well drown myself in a toilet and become moping mates with Moaning Myrtle because that is the extent of my depression. At times like these, I sometimes wish I had a teddy bear. We all know Draco does.

Dear Weasley,
I kind of like hate you. A lot. In fact, I really NEVER want to see you again. ...Not that we ever saw each other before, because what could I possibly want to see you for? Anyway. The point is, please stay away from me. Because, as I mentioned before, I like hate you. A lot.

Yours with hugs and kisses death wishes and pointy objects,

Draco Malfoy

Wednesday - Draco

Things are coming along nicely on the Weasley Weed front. She attempted to give me an icy stare as we passed in the corridor, however it was somewhat marred by the fact that she looked like she was going to cry at the time. Ha! Haha ha...ha. Ha...

Yes. Well. Anyway. On the whole, today was not a bad day. In fact, it was almost a good day. Potter and The Weasel got detention for setting fire to their cauldron during Potions. This was exceptionally funny because The Weasel's eyebrows were singed off, and by the look of the nasty burn on Potter's hand, he'll have a lot more than that bloody lightning bolt to worry about in the scar department.

The whole incident was especially funny considering they didn't set their cauldron on fire at all. It was me.

Wednesday - Ginny

Today was horrible. I actually paused outside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom on my way to Divination, contemplating the whole drowning-myself-in-toilet thing. I saw him today. I tried out my best ice-maiden stare, but it was no use - I could barely stop my bottom lip from quivering. Still - at least I wasn't drooling.

I'm so depressed that I haven't even got the heart to check out his arse anymore! And it is such a beautiful thing too - no worse condition for all the years of being sat on etc.

I think it is high time that some action was taken against The-Blonde-And-Uncommonly-Good-looking-One. It's time for some old fashioned revenge...only, you know, more modern and slightly less old fashioned.

On a happier note, Ron appears to have misplaced his eyebrows. Hilarious.

Thursday - Draco

Hmmm. I have been contemplating my list of goals, and it appears that achieving goals 2, 5 and 8 may be more impossible that I first anticipated. More than once today, I found myself in a tight situation with...her. First, she bumped into me in the hall this morning, and when I say bumped, I mean to say - she tripped me. It was most humiliating. She just stuck out her foot and over I went. I was laughed at for a full minute before I managed to reclaim the tattered shreds of my dignity, and hobble off suffering from severe whiplash, and with my hair sticking up at an uncommonly odd angle.

My next encounter with her was at lunch. She came over to the Slytherin table and leant close (far too close) to me, as though she was going to whisper sweet nothings in my ear (not that I wanted her to or anything), and instead she just said:

"Run out of butter. Mind if I steal yours?"

I must say, I had got all...excited, for nothing. Anyway, then she had the nerve to nick the butter without waiting for my response (which would have been a big, resounding NO). And off she went. The nerve of her!

But that was not the last of it. Oh no. It seems Miss Weasley had been after a lot more than my butter (I noticed that there were still voluminous amounts of it at the Gryffindor table). I discovered her plot as I stood to leave the hall, flanked by my two very favourite intellectuals - Crabbe and Goyle. It seemed that a Mexican-wave of laughter followed me as I walked through the hall. The cause of it only became apparent when Goyle decided it might be productive to inform me that 'Kiss me, I'm Rich' was magically inked onto the back of my robes in luminous flashing colours.

And not that I care or anything, I'm simply writing this down in an off-hand sort of way as background information - but she has taken to walking about, linked arms with Dean Thomas. I mean of all people! I don't know that I've ever mentioned it, but I really hate that boy. A lot.

Thursday - Ginny

Malfoy wants to break my heart? I'll break his bloody nose. This is my new attitude, and the long and shorts of the situation are:

Draco has broken my heart; therefore I must break as many bits of him as possible. Including his pride.

While doing this, I may as well make it funny.

So today went something like this:

Operation Bump 9:25am: 'Bumped' into dear old Draco in the Charms Corridor. Made him the pointing and laughing target of all who witnessed it. I just wish I could have come up with something better...like, I don't know...turning him into a ferret or something.

Operation Butter 12:33am: Borrowed some butter. i.e. Made Draco laughing stock of ENTIRE HALL. Excellent.

Operation Boy 3:07pm: Made sure Draco saw me and Dean getting close and personal. Well. Linking arms anyway.

Oh. And on a hilarious note, I found this slipped inside one of ickle Ronnie's Charms books, which I sort of borrowed for help with the more technical parts of Operation Butter.

With her wavy brown hair and her puppy dog eyes,
How can I possibly keep my love in disguise?

I love her even more than a game of Quidditch,
Because she is really the most amazing witch.

I wish I could give Viktor Krum a big shove,

And tell him to find someone else to love.

I don't think she likes me - but fair enough.

I really wish I could see her in the buff.

She knows everything because she is so very clever

I wish I could hold her hand forever and ever.

I think about her all of the time,
I'd give up my Chudley Cannons stuff for her to be mine.

It's a bit hard to tell (I mean this is really a bit of a guess here) but after much thought and consideration, I have decided that maybe - just maybe - Ron has a major jones for Hermy. Just a guess though.

Bit disturbed by the comment about Hermione in the buff however. But then again, maybe he just couldn't find anything to rhyme with 'enough'?

That must be it, right? ...Right?

Friday - Draco

The school has gone to buggery! I can't continue on like this. Rumours relating to my sexual preferences, my involvement with a certain male member of staff AND my possession of a one-eyed teddy bear named Draco Junior have flooded the school. Well, at least one of them is true.

What's the point of having a sinister looking one-eyed teddy bear if the whole bloody school knows about it?

Zabini has been insufferable on hearing that I am apparently gay. The outrageous flirting would have been detectable even by Professor Flitwick, who I suspect does not know the meaning of the word. Worse than this though, is that half the school thinks I have been snogging Filch in a broom closet.

Bloody freckled freak, I guess the broom closet thing is her idea of irony. She'll pay for this. Oh yes she will.

Friday - Ginny

Oh I'm good. Oh yes I am. Spread some excellent rumours about Draco dearest. It was dead easy, I just told Lav and Parv and before long the whole school was clued in. Oh, and I told Blaise Zabini too - that boy could write for Witch Weekly's gossip column one day. Such potential, pity he's gay. He seemed a bit too happy when I told him the one about Draco being gay, and you know, Blaise is quite a looker - I must say it's a bit un-nerving, knowing I have him for competition. What if Draco bats for both teams? I mean, he has impeccable fashion sense does know his hair-care products after all. Hmmm.

Apart from my current Draco-destroying, it has become my secret mission to set Ron and Hermione up. Honestly, I think everyone knows they're both mad about each other except Ron and Hermione themselves. I feel it is my duty as a sister and friend to let them both in on this simple and obvious fact. And I figure - if I can't have my own love life, I may as well help everyone else out with theirs. Any anyway, I think it would be good for Ron. I mean - his grades would improve for starters.

Saturday - Draco

It's getting to the point where I want to pull out my hair. And that is saying something, considering how much I like my hair.

Apart from the continuous influx of rumours and the constant stream of sexual innuendos from Zabini, people have recently been finding it hilarious to ask me "So how's the one-eyed monster? How's Draco Junior these days? " and such other comments relating to Filch that nothing could induce me to repeat in a diary.

Something must be done.

Saturday - Ginny

Draco has been looking awful stressed lately (and just between you and I, he does the stressed look very well), but my extreme modesty prevents me from taking any of the credit at all. ...Only joking, the credit is mine - all mine!

I guess if I can't make him love me, I may as well make him hate me. He looked at about breaking point when me and Dean waltzed up and asked him if Filch was a good kisser.

Sunday - Draco

I have snapped and flipped out and gone into hiding. I cannot be within the vicinity of The Redheaded One without having a nervous breakdown of some kind. And the fact that she has sabotaged every area of my life is not the only reason for this. As shameful as it is to admit it, and as much of a blow it will be not to accomplish goals 2, 5 and 8, I regret to say that I think I am danger of being very much in love with her again.

It seems that the newly realised fact that she is both beautiful AND evil have made me want her ten times more than ever. I mean 'Kiss me, I'm rich'? Ingenious! If I had not been the butt of the joke, I confess I would probably have found it quite hilarious. And the tripping in the hall? I love violent women! The problem with Pansy (or should I say ONE of the problems with Pansy) was simply that there was not enough violence there. I mean sure, she did try to eat my face off every time I kissed her, but I don't think that was intentional. Oh, and she did step on my feet an awful lot, and have the most inconvenient habit of squeezing my arse too hard when we were dancing, but apart from this, nothing of the violent description. But Miss Weasley on the other hand - well, my knees are still paining me from our last meeting in the corridor.

What a woman.

Sunday - Ginny

I thought revenge was meant to make you happy? I mean sure, I got a few laughs out of it all, but a part of me (a BIG part) just wants to be back in that broom closet with him, snogging for England. But then this other part of me, (I think it's the part that is related to Ron) wants to bash his brains out, shove that note he wrote me down his throat, and break all his major appendages for doing this to me.

But as soon as I start having these lovely violent thoughts, the snogging-for-England part of me comes back into the equation and thinks 'yeah sure, but even if you bashed him up like that, he'd still be a sex-god.'

What the devil am I going to do? To snog, or to sabotage - that is the question.

But what is the freaking answer? That's what I'd like to know.