Draco's Diary

Monday

I had Potions with the tedious trio today, which is another of my least favourite activities (it is closely followed by such hobbies as being force-fed dungbombs or having cheering charms performed on you - how I hate to look...happy).

Longbottom melted another cauldron, which takes the grand tally up to four this year so far. It must be a new world record.

Then I had Herbology with the Ravenclaws. They aren't that bad, Ravenclaws. Well at least not when you compare them to the rest of the scum that pollutes this school (namely, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs...Filch. You know - that lot).
I think Ravenclaws could be quite cunning and sneaky if the bothered - mind you, some of them are completely dotty. I won't mention names (Luna Lovegood, LUNA LOVEGOOD!) but really, some of the Ravenclaw's are crazier than the Gilderoy Lockhart git, who I hear is in St Mungo's trying to get him memory back (personally I think he's better off without it).

But, Ravenclaws aside, Herbology is another thing to add to my (ever growing) list of least favourite activities. I really don't see what all the fuss is about. It's just like Muggle gardening really, and obviously - when I leave school, I can pay someone to do that for me. I think it's just Dumbledore's way of saving costs on gardeners.

Tuesday

That Weasley girl has been following me around again. She's been asking the rest of Slytherin all sorts of strange questions.

I saw her talking to Crabbe, and I'm quite worried that he might have let slip about Draco Junior. He always had a weakness for pretty girls. ...not that the Weasley weed is pretty or anything. Course not. Ugly thing. With her stupid red hair and her stupid sparkly hazel eyes and... UGLY. The epiphany of ugliness. No... wait. That would have to be Parkinson, but the Weasley girl is a close - very close - second.

Wednesday

I am becoming impatient with this diary-equals-goals idea. Potter has not received so much as a scratch from me, Granger and Weasley haven't dropped dead yet, the world is not one less a Muggle because of me, and (and this really is the icing on the cake) I am no closer to settling down and having kids.

I think I shall write to mother and inform her that Father IS senile (as I suspected) and is in need of urgent medical attention.

Thursday

There's something strange about that Weasley girl (apart from the obvious things, such as HER FAMILY). She completely ignored me today (well, she didn't stare or sneak around asking questions at least) and walked around with a huge smile on her stunningly...ugly...face. I just know she's up to something. And I'll bet you a galleon Potty, Granger and the Weasel put her up to it.
I will have my revenge.

Friday

My worst fears have been confirmed. The Weasley girl is indeed up to something sinister. This morning, I was on my way down to Quidditch practice with the rest of the team... (Flint has taken to making us practice just before breakfast, mainly so he can walk in wearing his quidditch robes and carrying the broom my father paid for in futile attempts to attract female attention).
Anyway - we were walking down to the pitch, as I said, when the Weasley girl (I have discovered that he name is Ginny, short for Virginia and not Genny at all) showed up wearing a miniscule skirt and top beneath her robes (not that I was looking or anything).

So - the Weasel girl, she actually flirts...with FLINT!!! Of all the numb-sculled, no-brained, ugly, talentless GITS (not to mention the fact that he has a really bad haircut and a really big nose)! I mean, he's not even that good a flier actually. In fact, it's a crime he's on the team at all, let alone captain.
And then - get this - she says "I saw you in the last Quidditch game - you know - against Ravenclaw? You were FABULOUS!"
And that would have been all well and good if he actually had been fabulous, and not fallen of his broom in the first ten minutes. I mean, if I hadn't caught the bloody snitch - (and I really don't know how that happened, truthfully) we would have LOST!
But that's beside the point. The point - (the one that I have neglected to get to) is that the Weasley girl flirted with him.
This can mean only two things: 1. that she has suddenly decided that she finds Flint enormously attractive or 2. She is out to get me.
Let's just say it's not the first one.

Saturday

Apparently it's not just Flint she finds enormously attractive.
Her first victim for today was Zabini - I swear, the guy's gayer than hot pink short-shorts (Hot pink short-shorts on a guy I mean, I have no problem with them on girls...). I felt like yelling out to her: "He's only using you for your brother, Fred!" but (as I am told) Malfoys do not yell on impulse, unless it's for a very good reason.

I'm beginning to wonder if Malfoys do anything at all.

After Zabini, she moved straight on to Craig Jarvey, one of the beaters on our team. Just for your information, he resembles six foot troll with stumpy legs and a bowl cut. Whatever does she see in him?
Another odd thing happened today, the Ginny girl was just about to send another sleazy compliment Zabini's way when the Weasel himself walked by. So, instead of just letting it out ("oh Blaise, you really are...quite attractive") she called him "an ugly prat!" then, as soon as her brother was out of earshot she told him she was only joking, and asked him if he'd ever though of modeling for Witch Weekly.

This gives me the impression that The Weasel knows about as much about her evil little plan as I do (which is not very much at all).
Obviously this means that it's just her and Potty who are up to no good.

Sunday

I spotted the Weasley girl again today. It was slightly awkward actually. Crabbe, Goyle and I were leaving the great hall this morning after breakfast when she turned up with some of her Gryffindor gal-pals.
We were going opposite ways, and I happened to turn around... to err... well yeah. So I was looking at her... back... and suddenly she turned around to look at me! Our eyes met for one awkward moment before we both turned around again.
I can only think of two possible scenarios. She either keeping an eye on me, as part of her and Potter's secret plot against me or... checking out my arse.

***

The rest of the day passed spectacularly uneventfully. Unless you count Goyle getting stuck in the entrance to the common room...again. Honestly he's huge! He started putting on weight last Christmas but now it's just silly. I'm thinking of having mother send over a Magical Liposuction leaflet for him.

Despite my infinite hate for him, I do envy Potter one thing. At least his friends are capable of intelligent, coherent and even possibly interesting conversation (Actually, I don't know whether the Weasel would pass for intelligent, or Granger for interesting - but if you put them all together...).

And at least none of his friends get stuck in doorways.