For Your Love

A/N: What a nice coincidence that my Christmas chapter actually falls during Christmas season! Enjoy.

Chapter 20 - A Burrow Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. The Burrow was decked with boughs of holly, and fairy lights sparkled on the fresh evergreen in the living room. Hot chocolate and biscuits were passed around as the Weasley household settled in for an evening of yuletide cheer. Bill and Fleur were in France visiting Fleur's family for the holiday, and Percy would not be arriving until dinner on Christmas day, but the house was still full of anticipation as the younger Weasleys and Harry waited for the last person who would join them that night.

After a round of charades - in which Harry failed to identify Ginny's exaggerated singing mime as Celestina Warbeck, and Ron's imitation of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack rendered the twins speechless with laughter on the floor - a quiet settled over the house. The fire crackled in the hearth, and a few heads had begun to nod when they heard the back door open and a rugged young redhead in dragon-hide boots appeared in the living room doorway.

"Charlie!" Ginny flew across the room and into the arms of her brother, who caught her in midair and squeezed her tight.

"How's my Gin?" he smiled, setting her down.

"I'm so glad you're home!" she squealed. At first, he laughed heartily at her enthusiasm, but as he looked into her eyes, his smiled faded and was replaced by a look of confusion. She became suddenly self-conscious, but before she could say another word, she was pushed aside by the queue that had formed behind them.

"Charlie! Great to see you, mate. Did you bring any of those items that we talked about?"

"Oh, George, leave him alone," Molly chided. "Come in, darling, and I'll make you a hot cup of tea. It's so good to have you home," she said, hugging her son.

"Of course, if you want anything stronger than tea, we can fix you up later," Fred whispered, jabbing Charlie with his elbow.

"I heard that, Fred!" his mother called from the kitchen.

"You've been holding out on me!" Ron complained.

Charlie laughed and clapped his youngest brother on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Ron. I'm sure there's plenty to go round. Harry! Nice to see you," he said as he shook Harry's hand.

"Now, now boys, let him come in and have a seat," Arthur smiled, beckoning Charlie into the room.

"Hey, dad."

"Hello, son," Arthur said fondly. "Have a good trip?"

"Almost got blown off course Apparating across the Channel, but other than that it was alright."

Ginny settled on the couch next to him as they all huddled around Charlie, asking questions about dragons and his life in Romania. He told them about a new Chinese Fireball hatchling they had just obtained from a Himalayan breeder, and how the Reservation where he worked had been embroiled in debates with the Romanian Ministry about regulations for the use of dragon's blood. The clock had struck well past midnight when they finally said their goodnights.

Ginny had just snuggled into her bed when a soft knock came at the door.

"Gin, it's Charlie. Can I come in?"

"Sure."

She reached for her wand and turned up the lights in the room as he entered and gently closed the door. Crossing to the edge of her bed, he stared down at her with brotherly concern.

"So, are you going to tell me what's up?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

His weathered face broke into a soft smile. "Don't do that, Gin. Or did you forget that you and I give new meaning to the phrase 'I know how you feel'?"

She sighed and sat up, adjusting the pillow behind her back. "Alright, what do you think you felt from me?"

He sat on her bed and regarded her thoughtfully. "I couldn't make it out exactly. Light and dark, happiness and grief. And... love? Are you in love with someone, Gin? Someone who's hurting you?"

She smiled wryly. "You mean besides the usual?"

"Harry did this to you?" he asked sharply.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "It's not Harry's fault." She stared down at the worn coverlet, her fingers picking at a stray thread.

He frowned. "Are you alright?"

"Charlie, it's Christmas. I just want to put all this out of my head and enjoy my family. Please... just give me a few days, and then we can talk if you like."

He stared at her a moment more before nodding. "Alright." He reached out and picked up the dragon globe that he had given her for her birthday from her desk, turning it round and round in his rough hands until it swirled with snow.

"Bedtime for little girls," he said, recalling the words her father used to put her to bed every night when she was young.

"I'm not..."

"... a little girl anymore," he finished for her, setting the globe back on the desk. "I know." He tweaked her chin and rose from the bed, clicking the door shut softly behind him.

Dousing the lights once more, Ginny lay back down and watched the moonlight dance off the glittering snow in the globe as the dragon's wings flapped against it with the small knight standing fearlessly below.

* * *

Charlie climbed the stairs to his old room, surprised momentarily to see someone moving about in the room across from his.

"Harry," he smiled. "I forgot you had Bill's old room."

"Oh," said Harry, startled as he looked up from his trunk. "Yeah, hope that's alright."

Charlie shrugged. "Of course. I suppose I'm just used to seeing Bill in there, that's all. Goodnight," he said, turning toward his own door.

"Night," Harry called, closing his trunk and heading for the bathroom.

"Say, Harry," Charlie asked, suddenly coming out of his room again. Harry paused on the landing and raised his eyebrows in reply. "Have you been spending a lot of time with Ginny up at school?"

Harry felt immediately on guard, though quickly reminded himself that he had no reason to be nervous. He supposed it was because conversations between Weasley brothers and himself regarding his attentions toward Ginny never seemed to go very well.

He shrugged. "Um, not more than usual. Why?"

"No reason." Charlie frowned and Harry thought he seemed agitated. "Has she been hanging around with any blokes? You know, exclusively?"

"Uh... she's been dating Colin Creevey for a few months..." Harry offered, not sure how he felt about being interrogated regarding Ginny's dating habits.

Charlie wrinkled his nose. "Colin Creevey? What, you mean that little blighter who used to follow you around with the camera?"

Harry chuckled. "That's him. But Colin's alright, Charlie. You don't need to worry about him with Ginny."

Charlie nodded. "Alright. Thanks, Harry."

"No problem." Harry continued down the stairs, pausing when he reached the bathroom door. He glanced across the landing toward Ginny's room, wondering if she were already asleep. He had watched her with Charlie downstairs, her face so alive and her cheeks flushed with happiness. He had missed seeing her like that. A smile crept across his face. It was good to be home.

* * *

By the following evening, the presents had been unwrapped to choruses of "oohs" and "ahs", the Christmas turkey and pudding had been heartily consumed, and pick-up games of Quidditch in the paddock had sufficiently exhausted everyone so that a lull settled over the Burrow.

Ron had retreated to his room to stave off his mother's attempts to cut his hair, ("Really, Ron, it's over your eyes! Just let me give it a quick trim.") but Harry privately thought he was still being a bit mulish over Hermione. She had only given them a rushed "Bye, Happy Christmas!" when they'd reached London, and it seemed that Ron couldn't decide whether to be grateful or disappointed that she hadn't made a scene.

Harry cast his eyes about for Ginny, but not seeing her, he went up to his own room and stood by the window, watching the stars wink in and out of the night sky. He opened the window a crack, breathing in the crisp air, and was seized by a longing to soar out into the night and fly above the treetops now that it was too dark for anyone to see him from the village below.

He pulled on an extra sweater, wrapped his Gryffindor scarf around his neck, and pulled his Firebolt out of his trunk.

Climbing onto the window ledge, he pushed the sash wide and squeezed through the opening, falling forward until the broom caught his weight and he pulled up on the handle, gliding effortlessly into the night. He skimmed the tops of the trees around the paddock and swooped out over the small lake, watching himself reflected in the moonlight as is bounced off the water, until he came to the tall oak tree. Ginny's Tree, as he had come to think of it. He landed at its base and leaned his broom against the trunk.

The cold air stung his nostrils as he breathed in deeply, looking to the sky. The stars were bright, as bright as the night Ellie had left him. The centaurs of the Forbidden Forest had told him once that the future was to be found in the heavens. But if it was, he couldn't see it. His future lay like a murky lake ahead of him with one clear, unavoidable goal in the center and a vast sea of nothingness beyond.

He turned back to the tree and ran his hand over its rough bark, remembering the last time he had stood there with Ginny in his arms, her eyes looking so earnestly into his, then brimming with angry tears as he had pushed her away. He blew out a breath and leaned back against the tree.

"Venus is bright tonight," a soft voice spoke from somewhere nearby.

Harry started and looked up to find Ginny sitting on a low branch above his head, half hidden in the darkness. He turned back to the sky and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. "I thought that was Mars," he said.

"No, it's Venus," she said, matter-of-factly.

The branches shook as she shifted her weight and dropped down beside him, dusting off her hands and looking to the sky. "But Mars is coming toward her, see?" She pointed to a smaller spot of light to the left of the green planet. "He's threatening to overtake her."

"Yes, he's always doing that, isn't he?" Harry said, a bitterness in his voice. But it was quickly replaced with a smile. "Firenze been teaching you how to read the stars?" he asked, thinking of his old friend who had left his herd in the Forbidden Forest to become a Divination teacher at Hogwarts.

Ginny gave a brief smile. "You don't have to be a centaur to know that sometimes things don't work out like you want them to, Harry."

Harry's smile faded, and he turned to watch Ginny's profile as she studied the sky. "What are you doing out here?" he asked.

She shrugged one shoulder, but said nothing.

"It's cold," he said, trying to fill the silence. "I think my toes are numb."

"Sometimes it feels good to be numb," Ginny replied, looking around at the darkened landscape. "It's tiring to have to feel all the time. Sometimes numb isn't such a bad thing."

Harry silently agreed as they stood together, letting the quiet fall over them.

"It was Ellie Bridgeton, wasn't it?" Ginny asked softly, turning to face him.

He hesitated. "What was?"

"That night in the Astronomy Tower. Why you were so upset."

He dropped his eyes and scuffed the ground with his toe. "How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"I saw her coming down the stairs just before I went up. I didn't realize who she was at the time, but later I remembered that she had come to see you in the hospital wing, when you were knocked off your broom. Ron said she was your Potions partner."

Harry looked up, surprised. "She came to see me?"

Ginny nodded. "Didn't she tell you?" Harry shook his head. "She was very upset, beside herself really. At the time I couldn't think why..."

Harry paused. "We were..." he stammered.

"Together?" she offered with a hint of bitterness. Harry nodded. Ginny fell silent, and he suddenly felt the need to explain.

"But we're not... anymore..." he began.

"And you didn't tell anyone about the two of you?" she asked. Harry shook his head. "Why?"

He exhaled. "It doesn't matter now. It was a mistake."

"But you still felt something for her, didn't you," she said. It was more of a statement than a question. He bristled and looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry, is it okay that we're talking about this? I know you didn't want to before, but..."

"No, it's alright," he said, turning back to her with a determined look. He had asked so much of her in the past. If she wanted answers now, she deserved for him to be honest. "What did you want to know?"

She shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing, but... you can talk to me. If you want to. When I saw you that night, you were hurting so badly I just... I wanted to..."

Her voice trailed off, but he understood what she was trying to do and was grateful for it. He glanced at her briefly. "Thanks. Yeah," he exhaled, "I was a pretty spectacular mess that night."

"Tell me about her," Ginny said, sitting on the cold ground and wrapping her arms around her knees. As Harry looked down at the top of her head, he smiled inwardly at the twists and turns their friendship had taken, and he became acutely aware of how much he had missed by pushing Ginny away for so long.

"Are you sure you want to hear about this?" he asked, dropping down next to her.

"Yes, please," she said, turning a plaintive eye on him. "I need something to take my mind off my own troubles. So, tell me about your secret rendezvous or whatever it is you've been doing all term." She rested her cheek on her knees and fixed an expectant look on him.

"Well," he breathed, "you know, she was my Potions partner and we were spending a lot of time together, and then we just, sort of, got together. We agreed not to tell anyone because of... well... different reasons. But it was fun, you know? Sneaking off and being together, just talking and laughing and..."

He paused and Ginny raised an eyebrow. "And..." she prompted.

Harry cleared his throat and blushed. "Yes. And."

She laughed, and it warmed him from head to toe, hearing her laugh like that. How he had missed her, he thought, missed the easy way they used to talk with each other when they'd been here, at the Burrow, in the summer.

"And then, well..." His voice became quiet, and he hunched his shoulders. "I wanted more. I thought maybe we could make it work, but she... didn't. But when I was with her... I don't know, Gin. She just made me feel... normal. You know?"

Ginny didn't say anything, but continued to look at him, her face showing neither pity nor surprise. She regarded him thoughtfully. "Sometimes it's nice just to have someone to hold onto, isn't it? To take you away from reality for awhile."

"Yeah," he agreed. "But that's not love, is it."

"Maybe love is about more than kisses and warm bodies," she speculated. "Maybe it's about knowing someone. Knowing them so deeply that they share a part of your soul, even when the sharing is painful. Even when you hate it," she said, an edge creeping into her voice.

Her change in tone brought a quizzical look to his face. "Are we still talking about me?" he asked.

Ginny shook herself and drew a deep breath. "Sorry, just thinking out loud."

He studied her face; she seemed so deep in thought, and he wondered what was going on inside her head, what troubles of her own she was running away from. His hand twitched with a sudden longing to reach out to her, to hold her hand comfortingly or put his arm around her shoulders. He flexed his fingers and rubbed his palms on his thighs nervously, the warming motion reminding him of how cold his hands had become.

"We should get inside before we freeze," Harry said, breaking Ginny out of her thoughts.

"Right," she said, breathing deeply and sitting up straight, rubbing her own palms against her jeans. "Everyone will wonder where we've gone."

"Thanks, Gin," Harry said earnestly. "For listening. You're probably the last person who wanted to hear it, but I guess I needed to talk about it more than I thought." He glanced at her sideways, and her lips turned up in a brief smile.

"You're welcome," she said sincerely. She leaned over, intending to kiss his cheek, but he turned toward her, startled by her sudden movement, and her lips caught the edge of his before she pulled away, embarrassed.

Harry's lips parted in surprise, and he stared at her dumbly, the heat rising in his cheeks. He could see that Ginny was having much the same reaction, but her gaze didn't flinch from his. Then, without another thought, he leaned forward swiftly and captured her lips with his before she had a chance to react. She responded immediately by opening her mouth and returning the kiss, but he had hardly brought his hand up to cup her face when she jerked away, sucking in a sharp breath.

"Harry, don't," she whispered.

"Ginny, I..." he stammered.

She stared at him wildly. "Why did you do that?" she asked, her breath quickening.

"I don't know," he said softly, his eyes not leaving hers. "It just felt right."

She was visibly shaken, and he felt her tremble under his touch. "Harry, I'm not just a warm body either. You can't just come to me when it feels right," she said, pulling away from him and quickly standing up.

"No, I know you're not," he said, scrambling to his feet as well.

"I'm with someone," she said in a distressed whisper. "You know that I'm..."

She turned and Harry watched her walk away, his mind whirring in all directions when suddenly, he saw her fall to her knees, clutching at her head.

"Ginny!" He raced to her side, crouching down next to her. "What is it?"

"Nothing, Harry. Go away!"

"What? I'm not going to leave you here like this!"

She pushed his hand away from her. "No!" she wailed, her voice full of anguish. "Why are you doing this?"

"Oh, Gin, I'm sorry. I'm such an incredible arse, I never meant to..."

"Harry, you have to help me," she said, reaching out and grasping his shirt, her eyes bright with fear. "I can't do it by myself anymore, he's going to drive me insane. You have to help me."

Harry's heart beat faster. "Help you?"

"I thought if I was away from Colin it would be better. But it's not. He's never going to leave me alone."

"What? Who, Gin?"

"Tom, Harry." She looked up into his face, and he saw sheer terror in her eyes. "It's Tom."

"What? But how..."

"Harry, please," she cried desperately. "Help me!"

He gathered her swiftly in his arms and picked her up, holding her tight as she buried her face in his neck. "I've got you, Gin," he whispered. "Hang on." Space folded in around them and then reopened as he Apparated them to the back door of the Burrow. Stumbling inside, he carried her into the kitchen, startling Charlie who was fixing himself a late night snack.

"What happened?" Charlie asked, dropping his knife with a clatter onto the table and rushing to his sister.

"We were talking and she just... collapsed," Harry panted, looking around wildly. "Where are your mum and dad?" he asked.

"Already in bed," Charlie said distractedly. He brushed Ginny's hair out of her face. "Gin? What's wrong?" he asked, but she only burrowed deeper into Harry's chest and shook her head. "Get her upstairs," Charlie said with authority. Harry nodded and disappeared, Apparating them up the two flights to Ginny's room. He lay her down on her bed, but she would hardly let go of him and kept whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again.

"Shh, Gin, it's okay," he soothed, stroking her hair and trying to contain his own panic. Charlie rushed into the room carrying a glass of water and a small blue potion vial. Harry extricated himself from her and moved aside as Charlie sat down on the bed and lifted the potion to her lips.

"Drink this," he said, holding her head. She did without question and lay back on the pillows, visibly calmer than she had been a moment before.

"What was that?" Harry asked anxiously.

"Just a Calming Draught," Charlie said. "Mum always keeps some in her medicine cabinet. Can you tell me what happened?" he asked turning to Harry. "Did she say anything before she collapsed?"

"I... she said..." He looked at her, not knowing what to say. It was too ridiculous to think that she could be right, that Tom Riddle was... She looked back at him with a pained expression and bit her lip.

Charlie looked between them and set his jaw. "Can I talk to her alone, please?"

Harry tore his eyes away from her and nodded. "Sure." He rose shakily and backed away from the bed, fumbling for the door handle behind him.

"Harry... thanks," Charlie said as an afterthought. "For watching out for her."

He nodded again. "Sure. Of course," he said, sliding out of the room and closing the door.

Once they were alone, Charlie turned a stern gaze on his sister. "Right. Now you are going to tell me what is going on."

* * *

Harry had intended to go up to his room, but instead he slumped against the wall opposite Ginny's door and just sat, waiting. He heard their hushed whispers on the other side and hoped that Charlie would be able to make some sense of what had just happened. He was Ginny's favorite brother, they shared that Legilicor bond; surely he would know what to do. He had to, because Harry didn't think he could handle whatever was happening to her on his own.

A barrage of images began to flood his mind: Ginny's small body lying lifeless on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets, Tom Riddle using her to bait him, a twelve-year-old boy slaying a basilisk and destroying a diary to save her life. He had already fought that battle. He couldn't do it again. He couldn't.

* * *

"I can't believe you didn't tell anyone about this," Charlie said harshly once Ginny had finished.

"Charlie, please don't tell mum and dad," she begged. "They'll only go spare with worry. You don't know what it was like the first time; once they found out what had happened in the Chamber, they hovered over me day and night. And that was after they thought Tom had been destroyed. Imagine how they'd be if they knew he was still with me? I'd never be allowed out of my room again!"

Charlie shook his head vehemently. "You don't know what you're playing at. Voldemort..."

"It's not Voldemort," she whispered fervently. "It's just the ghost of a memory. It's not real."

"Not real?" Charlie boggled. "Not... how can you say that? Look at what he's doing to you! Look what he did before! No matter what you keep telling yourself, this is real. I can feel him in you, Ginny, and he's tearing you apart."

"No," she shook her head. "He won't. I won't let him. And Harry knows now," she said defiantly. "He'll help me. I know he will."

* * *

The minutes ticked by slowly as Harry waited, trying to fit the pieces of this new puzzle together in his mind.

"Hey, where've you been? I was looking for you," a tired voice said, startling him. He looked up to find Ron in his pajamas with a towel slung over his shoulders, heading for the loo.

"Out. With Ginny. We were out. Talking," Harry replied disjointedly.

"What are you doing out here then?" Ron asked.

"She..." Harry faltered. "She said..."

Ginny's door opened and Charlie came out, rubbing a tired hand over his face. "Harry," he said. "She wants to see you. Maybe you can talk some sense into her," he muttered.

Ron looked between them, confused. "About what?" he asked.

"Come on, Ron," Charlie said, starting up the stairs and motioning for his brother to follow. "I'll fill you in. Harry?" He turned to face the other boy, his voice strained. "You didn't know about this, did you? You didn't know and not say anything..."

"No, Charlie. I swear," Harry said quietly. Charlie nodded, pushing a protesting Ron up the stairs ahead of him until they were out of sight. Harry stared unseeingly at Ginny's door for a few moments before drawing a deep breath and reaching his hand out to the doorknob.

Ginny was sitting up in bed just as Charlie had left her; she sat very still with a pensive frown on her face. Harry crossed to her and sat on the edge of her bed, the weight of it all sinking to the pit of his stomach. How much more of this would he have to go through? How much more would she have to go through on account of him?

"Are you sure it's him?" he asked in a low voice after an interminable silence. She nodded. He reached out and took her hand, stroking it gently. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

Ginny looked down at his hand, not meeting his eyes. "I didn't think there was anything to tell," she said, her voice rough with emotion. "Last time... he took me over, Harry. He made me do things I didn't want to do, and I had no control. I wanted to show him that I was stronger now, that I could resist him on my own. I thought if I could do that, he wouldn't be able to affect me anymore." She shook her head.

"When did it start?"

"Um..." Her eyes flicked up to his and back down again. "I'm not sure exactly, but it was around the time Colin and I got together. That day in Hogsmeade, when you... saw us..." Harry felt a fresh embarrassment creep into his cheeks. "...I felt jealousy and anger. I thought it was you that I was feeling, but now I think maybe it was him."

Harry snorted in disbelief but then thought for a moment, remembering how he had hidden under his cloak, how he had felt so drawn to her that day. "Maybe it was both of us," he said, brimming with guilt. "Gin, if I had anything to do with this... with bringing him back..." His voice tightened. "I'm so sorry. I would never hurt you."

She looked up quickly and squeezed his hand. "No, it wasn't you, Harry," she said firmly. "Please believe that. It wasn't you."

"How can you be sure? He used you to get to me once, what if he..."

"Harry," she interrupted. "I know it wasn't you because you don't love me."

Harry fell silent, dumbfounded. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he was able to utter, "What?"

"Harry, what is the power that Dumbledore said you have that Voldemort knows not?"

Harry shook his head in confusion. "I think... love, but..."

"Yes. Love," she said as though it were obvious, but she could see that he still didn't understand. She pulled her hand away from his. "When Colin told me that he loved me, I felt Tom stronger than ever. I was almost knocked over from the force of his hatred. Don't you see? Our ability to love is the only thing that can destroy Voldemort. And when Tom felt that in me, saw that someone loved me, it threatened the part of him that is still alive in me so much that he lashed out against it. It reawakened him. That's what I think anyway."

"Colin... he told you that?" Harry asked, and she nodded. "But there are plenty of people who love you," he protested. "Your family, your friends..."

She shook her head. "Not the way Colin loves me."

Harry swallowed hard, not sure he wanted to ask the next question. "Do you... love... him?"

Ginny drew her knees up, causing the blankets to tent around her legs, wrapping her arms around them. "Would it matter if I did?" she asked quietly.

"Well, it might, if Riddle knew..."

"No, I mean... would it matter to you?"

Harry paused. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "But I'm not going to let him take you from me again. I won't."

Ginny heard the determination in his voice and felt his strength pour into her as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She clung to him tightly as he stroked her hair, and the fear slowly seeped out of her as she rested in the knowledge that she wasn't alone. Not anymore.