Sensation, Distraction, Hesitation

Remus - happy and snogging

He knew it was her. Before the bell over the bookshop door clanged, before he saw pale fingers trail through long chestnut hair, Remus knew. He felt her coming.

Before she could catch him watching, he turned his attention back to the stack of books floating beside him. He levitated a copy of Rain or Shine: Basic Weather Charms onto the shelf and tried to pretend she was just another customer, that she didn't completely distract him, that -

"Remus!" He shelved another book and turned around. What was it about this girl - woman - that struck him so completely dumb? Conversation usually came so easily...

"How've you been?" Her smile was captivating, and he couldn't help returning it. "I suppose things can't have changed much since I was in yesterday?"

Finally, he found his voice. "No major changes to report. Are you surviving all the rain?" Oh, really, Remus, the girl is British. She should bloody well be able to cope with a little rain...

"I rather like the rain, actually. Makes nice weather for reading." Another smile.

"Ah, yes. Speaking of that..." He shelved the last of the books and made his way to the counter. She followed, and he knew it. He could feel her standing there, watching as he rummaged through the stacks of special orders, looking for hers.

"Here you are." He handed her the book she'd ordered - a leather-bound volume, blue, with silver embossed lettering - and her fingers brushed his as she reached to take it. He pulled his hand back quickly, not willing to let himself enjoy the touch of another person. Especially not this person, who invaded his senses when she was near and his thoughts when she wasn't.

Remus cleared his throat and attempted a light tone. "Your third special order this week. Are you working on some sort of project?"

Something flickered across her face that could only be called mischief. "Yes, actually, I have been working on something." Then a wicked grin, and before he could ask anything more, she'd closed the distance between them and brought her lips to his.

She was warm and soft and smelled like raspberries, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been kissed like this, small hands cupping his face and oh - a brush of tongue across his bottom lip and oh, dear - he needed to stop this right now.

He pulled away and didn't let himself see the jumble of hope and apprehension in her eyes. "I can't..." His voice was low and raspy. He swallowed, breathed, and tried again. "I can't do... this. We can't... I'm not what you think. Whatever you think." He glanced up and, to his surprise, found she looked neither angry nor hurt. She looked... amused?

"She said you'd do this, be this way." She gestured between the two of them. "She also said you haven't dated anyone since before the war ended. Way before."

"Who...?"

She answered the question he hadn't asked. "Tonks. Or, Nymphadora, if you want her to hex you." A cheeky grin, and she continued. "She and I were good friends at school. I was in her year, but in Ravenclaw."

"So..." Remus could hardly believe he was asking, wouldn't have asked if he could have helped it. "What did she..." His voice caught again, but apparently she understood. He kept his eyes on the counter before him.

"Enough. She told me enough." The assurance in her voice drew his gaze upward, and he saw a maelstrom of emotions in her eyes: hope, fear and determination all battled for prominence.

"There are things..." He broke off again, cursing himself for losing control over this girl. Woman.

She reached for his hand and held it in both her own. He felt, rather than saw, her smile, and she said, "I know enough to know I'd like to see you sometime, outside this bookshop. Buying you a cup of coffee will be much less expensive than ordering a new book everyday just so I can come in here." She grinned up at him. "How about Tuesday? Is that long enough after..."

Remus watched her bite nervously on her bottom lip as the realization hit him: She knew. Knew what he was, and she was still here. Had come here, ordered books, had even kissed him, and she had known all the time.

"Tuesday would be fine." His head was spinning, heart racing, but he had his wits about him once again. "Perhaps we could talk about that project of yours?" He smiled, a real, genuine smile that time, and brushed his thumb across the hand that was still holding his.

She didn't answer, just brought her lips to his again.

~fin~