Twisted Love

Chapter 4: Love Potion Needed

After shakily thanking her two loyal friends - though Crystal looked a bit shocked and was positively bursting for information - Lily walked alone to the library. Fortunately, her friends had chosen not to question her about Snape, especially after Olivia swiftly jabbed Crystal's side and, with a quick, understanding nod, disappeared in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower together. Lily made a mental note to privately thank Olivia for her support later.

When she pushed open the heavy library doors and closed it behind her, she nervously glanced around for a glimpse of raven-black hair. As her gaze swept the seemingly empty library, a hopeful thought sprang into her mind: Maybe he was so furious, he forgot all about me and went straight to his room. She couldn't help the relieved smile slowly spreading over her face. Then she won't have to deal with the whole sticky mess anymore. Just then, her green eyes caught a flash of dark hair way back in a corner. Her smile faded.

Trying not to groan, she carefully made her way to the impatient Slytherin, half-hidden in the shadows, who glared the moment he saw her approaching.

Lily forced a smile. She had learned that things worked out better somehow if a smile or two brightened - or lightened - the situation. However, she quickly saw that this was not the case. Snape's guarded look only turned more menacing.

"Look, I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry," Snape cut in. "I just despise liars, don't you, mudblood?" His tone was sleek, despite his 'let-me strangle-you-with-my-bare-hands' look. Too sleek, in fact. Lily wetted her lips and backed away nervously.

"Last night - I really didn't mean to-" she started, incredibly flustered by his piercing black eyes, but once again, he wasn't intending to let her explain.

Snape took a step toward her, suddenly dropping his casual tone that hid the rage swirling inside him. "Give me back my diary," he spat out. His hooked nose was almost touching hers. Lily stood frozen, unable to tear her eyes away from him, those menacing black eyes; and in that horrible, suspended moment, an annoying thought popped into her mind. God, his nose really does look greasy. Hastily, she stepped back again and busied herself with rummaging through her backpack. With trembling fingers, she handed the black diary over, carefully avoiding his eyes. Snape snatched it from her.

His mouth thin and grim-looking, Snape shoved the small book inside his robes. "How much of it did you read?" His words were a bit strangled, as if he was trying very hard to keep his cool and not to explode.

"How - how did you guess...?" Lily couldn't help asking. Her chest tightened at the memory of reading it.

"You really are stupid, aren't you?" Snape said in a soft, dangerous voice that sent a chill down her spine. "For once, use your head," he went on brutally, "we were the only ones in the library last night, remember? When I noticed that it was missing and came back here, I used a Searching charm but it wasn't there. That was when I suspected you. I have to admit I was surprised. Stealing - even for mudbloods, this struck me as a pretty low act. But then again, I thought maybe this was a Gryffindor thing - you know, returning a lost possession to its owner and doing the duty of a good citizen and all that shit. But when I saw you defend me - in that fucking miserable way-" He stopped shortly, unable to speak further; whether this was due to his fury or embarrassment, Lily did not know. (She had a vague idea that suggested both.)

Snape fixed his eyes on the wall, wishing he could make it (and a certain green-eyed person standing next to it) crumble down with his glare. He couldn't believe his worst nightmare had come true; and what was worse, it was standing right in front of him. He looked at her, and immediately felt disgust wash over him. She was staring at him the same way she had earlier that morning. She was pitying him.

"I'm sorry - about everything, I guess," Lily mumbled, her green eyes troubled.

"What does that suppose to mean?" Snape growled. He knew the answer, and it made him sick.

What color that was left in Lily's face had now drained completely away. "Your family," she whispered. Her freckles stood out sharply on her pale complexion. "Your father...he's so awful..."

Snape's eyes flickered with pain. "Shut up," he said in a low voice.

"You ought to tell someone about all this," Lily pleaded, trying not to turn around and run away from those terrible, piercing eyes of his. "Your family - they have no right to treat you like that-" She broke off, choking. Snape's hand had shot out and grasped her neck.

"I said shut up, mudblood," Snape gritted out. Lily furiously tried to knock his hand off, but the grip only tightened. Her face was now red, and she was on the verge of crying. Suddenly, his hand released her and she felt the wonderful air rushing down her throat. When she got her breath back, she stared lividly at Snape. To her surprise, he was actually looking flustered and ashamed at the same time.

"I didn't mean to - you know," Snape muttered. "Shit," he added under his breath.

Lily was the one who was indignant now. "What are you trying to do, kill me?" she snapped. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Look, I'm sorry. Believe me, I'm sorry as you are for reading that damn thing and getting involved with you, all right? Blame my insane curiosity." Her words came out harsher than she intended.

"Good," Snape snapped back, his temper rising again. "Then you'd better shut your mouth about this. Oh, and stay the fuck away from me," he added thoughtfully.

Lily didn't even bother to reply. She stormed out of the library, blazing red hair flying behind her.

*

"A third one," Peter announced breathlessly to his friends. Pleasantly full after breakfast, all the Gryffindors had made themselves comfortable in the warm, spacious common room. The ones who weren't excitedly sharing opinions about the Lily incident earlier were giggling and staring at the famous foursome. The Marauders, they secretly called themselves. Christmas was in the air and nearly everyone was affected by it. Christmas Eve, which was only a few days away, was what they were all looking forward to. Professor Dumbledore had planned a special Hogsmeade trip on Christmas Eve, seeing there were so many students staying this year. Two brave girls, who had been encouraged and nudged by their friends (an enormous amount of giggling was previously involved), had already walked up one by one to ask one of the Marauders out. James had politely refused, and so had Sirius (only not so politely). Now a third girl, spotted first by an envious Peter, was making her way towards them.

The girl had pretty, light brown hair and was nervously carrying a box that was neatly wrapped in shiny gold paper. When Sirius stared haughtily up at her from his lazy, sprawled position, she blushed and held out the present.

"What is it?" Sirius asked boredly, not making any movement to touch the box.

"Aren't you going to open it?" the girl said, blushing even more deeply.

Sirius simply stared at it suspiciously.

"Oh, let me! I just love opening presents!" Peter squealed, snatching it out of her hands. Oblivious to the pretty brunette's deadly glare, he tore it open. Inside was a glass jar full of heart-shaped cookies, freshly baked. Peter's mouth opened with delight, but before he could do anything Sirius snatched it out of his hands.

He opened the lid and peered down distrustfully. "What do you think, Prongs?" Sirius inquired breezily.

James didn't even look up from the book he was reading. "Love potion."

"Thought so." Sirius grinned at the horror-stricken girl and slammed the lid shut. "Sorry, but this is an expert you're dealing with. Very popular one, love potion." The color had drained from the unfortunate girl's face. He went on casually, pretending not to notice, "You know, I've always wondered what you girls put in. Can't be a real one, because it's illegal, right?"

"Windglow's For-A-Day Love Maker," Remus mumbled distractedly. He was also deeply absorbed in his book, but he couldn't help giving out the info. Helpfulness had always been part of his nature. "Came out last month. Legal. Lasts only for 24 hours and has little power. Immensely popular, though."

Sirius watched in satisfaction when the cornered brunette stammered an apology and practically ran away from them. He dropped the jar into the box and pushed it away from him. Peter looked at it with obvious disappointment. "It looked so good," he said sadly.

James snorted. "I bet the taste wasn't so hot, don't you, Padfoot?" he asked innocently.

Everyone laughed except for Sirius. They all remembered clearly of the incident a year ago; a girl with an enormous crush on Sirius had given him some candy. They will never forget the look on his face when he popped one into his mouth unsuspectingly and immediately spat it out, every feature twisted horribly. Love potion - even a substitute with a much weaker and temporary affect - tastes terrible. After that, Sirius had been extremely cautious with presents, especially eatable ones.

"It was not funny," Sirius complained crossly. "Thank god I spat it out quick before it affected me." He shuddered.

Remus glanced around the crowded room. "There's so many people here," he said, noticing the fact for the first time. "Odd; people hardly ever stay during Christmas." They all mused over this for a moment.

"I know why!" Peter said suddenly in his usual excited voice "It's because we decided to stay this year." An arrogant idea, but it was true. Word had gotten out that James' crowd was staying, and all of a sudden it was so important for Gryffindors to stay, too. None of them wanted to miss out on the fun.

"And we stayed because of James," Remus said slowly. "And James stayed because of..." He didn't finish the sentence, but they all knew who it was.

Sirius' mouth tightened around the edges. "Don't tell me you're still thinking of a way to be with her on Christmas Eve," he said accusingly.

James snapped the book he was reading shut. His friends looked at him warily, expecting him to lose his temper. But he just smiled. "I've got an idea," he said carefully. "I'll apologize."

His three friends stared at him blankly.

"Apologize for being an ass," James went on thoughtfully. "I shouldn't have said those things. They just popped out of my mouth... To her, you dolts," he added irritably.

Comprehension dawned at last. Sirius' jaw dropped, but it didn't make him look any less handsome, a fact that secretly amazed Remus. "But - but-" Sirius sputtered, clearly at loss for words.

But James had already left in search for Lily.

*

Lily was already in a bad mood when she encountered James in the hallway. At first, she tried ignoring him and brushing past, but his hand quickly grabbed her arm. He made spun her around to face him. "Hey, Evans," he said lightly. He was determined not to turn this conversation into another argument.

However, Lily wasn't even in the mood for a light conversation. "Let go of me," she said darkly. James hastily did what she told him and gave her a friendly smile. She didn't smile back.

"I wanted to talk to you," James said quietly.

"Oh, really? Well, you can keep on wanting, and I'll let you know when I ever get the urge to listen," Lily said sweetly, but her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

James desperately told himself not to lose his temper. With forced calmness, he went on, "I was thinking about today and, well, it wasn't very pleasant, was it? Neither was yesterday."

Lily stared at him blankly, not knowing what he was getting at. Then she just sighed. "Look, I have a million things to do right now," she said, exasperated. "And that doesn't include listening to you brag about those fights like you're proud of humiliating me - I mean, honestly-"

"You got it wrong," James snapped, finally losing his temper. "I was the one who was humiliated - and I am not bragging-"

"Well, if you're that sick of me, why don't you leave me alone-"

"Just listen to me for once-"

"Just shut up, all right?" Lily finally shouted. "I had the worst day of my life and I am really not in the mood to deal with-" She broke off, seeing the anger in his face. She backed away, but was almost immediately stopped by the wall. He stepped toward her and stared down at the frozen redhead, his hazel eyes darkened dangerously. Lily felt trapped like a cornered little mouse. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"I thought I clearly stated this: 'Say that again, and I'll kill you.'" James spoke calmly, but his eyes were blazing. Lily quickly looked around for someone, anyone, but the hallway was strangely empty. Not that anyone would help her out, she thought bitterly. Nobody dared to cross James Potter. It was too risky.

Lily tried not to let fear control her. "And I clearly stated that I am not afraid of you," she said bravely, her voice trembling only a little. Green eyes locked onto his furious hazel eyes, she expected him to try to strangle her or (more likely) whip out his wand any moment. She secretly reached into her pocket and gripped her own wand. The moment he attacked - she would, too -

And at that breathless moment, when Lily felt the horrible suspense was unbearable, James did the very last thing she expected - he kissed her trembling lips.

*