Twisted Love

Chapter 2: Snape's Fatal Mistake

Lily's heart was pounding as her feet carried her out of the Great Hall. Her body tuned every single noise out except for the triumphant, little voice in her head that kept repeating these words: I've done it. And she had. She had finally told James Potter off. She would never, ever forget the moment when the smugness written all over his handsome face had faded into a look of pure horror. And anger.

Anger. The damn word suddenly hit Lily with such force that she stopped walking, staggering a bit, and leaned against the cold stonewall instead. All the triumphant, gloating thoughts were driven out of her head. She remembered, with a sense of cold fear sweeping over her, the blazing hazel eyes that seemed to cut right through her. The menacing threat that seemed to freeze her heart, even though she tried not to show it.

Lily shook her red curls and started to walk again. James Potter is nothing but words, she reminded herself harshly. So GET A GRIP. This isn't like you. All she need was to keep avoiding him. Now that he knew exactly how she thought of him, he'd leave her alone, too. At least, she hoped so.

She realized that she had arrived in front of the library without knowing. She blinked at the heavy glass doors, as if she had never seen them before, and peered inside. No one was there, except Madam Pince, who was earnestly poring over an old book. Excellent, she thought, sighing with relief. She pushed opened the doors and went inside. I'll get to study in peace.

After a few minutes, Lily took a seat at her favorite table with a heavy, black book that had these gold letters written on the spine: A Beginner's Guide to Arithmancy. Determined not to leave the library until she had read cover to cover, the redhead girl cautiously flipped over to the front page. She quickly scanned it. It looked immensely boring, almost as if offering her a good, long sleep.

"Concentrate, Evans," she whispered. When she had forced her eyes through half the page, a soft, swishing noise of a robe caught her attention. She whipped around, almost glad for a distraction.

Severus Snape, commonly known as 'Snape' with the Gryffindors, was just sitting down at a table far back, accompanied by a stack of books. Lily wondered why she hadn't seen him before. He must have been in a different section of the library, hidden in shadows. At that moment, while she was musing why he had skipped dinner, their eyes met.

Snape's black eyes were so deep, they could have swallowed her whole. Lily was unable to tear her green eyes away from them; they were simply so powerful, so dark. Then he slid his glance away from her, cool as you please, and muttered something that sounded vaguely like "mudblood."

Lily turned around angrily, facing the opened book again. She was used to hearing stuff like that from the Slytherins, of course, having attended to Hogwarts for almost five years now. But all the same, it hurt every time. And after I defended him, too! she fumed inwardly.

For nearly two hours, Snape long forgotten, she managed to get through almost half of the book. And miraculously managed not to throw it across the room, too. She smiled wryly to herself. Halfway through was definitely a satisfying achievement, as the book was so enormous. (She wouldn't be able to bear it if she didn't force herself to admit that, anyway.) Feeling a bit drowsy by now, Lily decided to finish the book later. She didn't dare check it out, lest it gave her nightmares. Soft pillows kept dancing in front of her eyes.

Lily stood up abruptly, making Madam Pince glare at her, grabbed the book with both hands and walked over to the particular bookshelf where she'd gotten it in the first place when...wham! She collided with someone who had stepped out of a corner. Books were thrown in the air as she and the black-haired person met the cold, hard floor. Before Lily knew what was happening, Snape had tugged her sleeve roughly, pulling her out of the way. Bewildered, she stared at him for a moment and then looked at the spot where she had been sprawled on a split second ago. It was cluttered with heavy books.

Lily opened her mouth to thank Snape, but he cut her off. "I see you don't bother to make any use of your eyes, mudblood," he hissed. He had already straightened up and was carelessly brushing dust off his clothes. Lily, stung by his harsh words, simply continued to stare at him. Then the unfairness of it all struck her and she quickly stood up, cold fury dancing in her eyes.

"You didn't watch where you were going, either," Lily retorted, brushing her own clothes and glaring at him at the same time. He didn't even bother to glare back; he was busily gathering his stack of books. It made her more irritated to be ignored, and she suddenly remembered their short but unpleasant incident two hours ago. This made her even angrier.

"I guess everything is my fault, since I'm the mudblood, right?" she said bitterly, snatching up her book off the ground. Snape didn't respond, merely sneering at her before sweeping past her and making his way towards Madam Pince. After he had checked out every book, he went out of the library without a backward glance.

Lily pushed back her thick, dark red hair out of her eyes and sniffed. Stupid bastard, she found herself thinking. Maybe she had been too quick to defend him and feel sorry for him being a poor, friendless, tormented boy. Why, he was as stuck up as James!

"Let's just say they're both jerks and leave it at that," she muttered. She refused to think about either of them for any second longer. Sighing, she walked over to place the book back in its original place. Then something black caught the corner of her eye. A small, black book was lying on the floor, half hidden by the bookshelf's dark shadow. Automatically, she bent over and picked it up. She wondered (with a sudden burst of new anger) if someone was careless enough to drop it and leave it there when she suddenly noticed the tiny silver writing on the front cover: Severus Snape.

Lily stifled a gasp. It didn't look like a textbook, rather something personal of his. But why would this be...? Then it struck her. The force of the collision earlier must have sent the small book flying out and into the shadows. It was obvious of Snape's casual strut out of the library that he didn't notice it missing. Whatever it was.

Very slowly, with a distant feeling that what she was doing was very wrong, Lily turned the cover. Snape's messy, cramped writing instantly greeted her curious eyes. Before she had read the first sentence, her eyes widened and her heart nearly stopped.

It was Snape's diary.

*

"It's disgusting what love does to you," Sirius said, mocking extreme sadness. He was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his wet hair dripping in the most beautiful way and a towel around his neck. He had obviously just finished taking a shower. James, who was chasing Remus wildly around the room and apparently having a great time, stopped in his tracks and lifted his eyebrows questioningly.

Sirius sighed and motioned him closer. James came over and plopped down next to his friend, still silently questioning him. "I mean, look at you," Sirius pointed out. "An hour ago, you were insulted. By a girl, I might add. And you're acting like - like nothing happened."

"Nothing did happen," said Remus, joining the two. Then he shrugged, his soft brown eyes twinkling. "Well, unless you count the fact that Prongs' face went paler then Lucius Malfoy's."

At the mention of Lucius, Sirius bristled and his attractive dark eyes glistened with hate. "That bastard," he seethed. "I'd like to stuff his pointy face into a-"

"He's probably mad that we'd beaten Slytherin at Quidditch so easily," Remus hurriedly cut in. "Although that is a stupid reason to tell on us all the time. You should think he'd be used to losing by now." He grinned proudly at James, but he was deep in thought, and didn't even acknowledge the sudden change of subject. It was odd, as Quidditch was his favorite thing in the world.

"Prongs?" Sirius inquired, pushing aside the unpleasant thoughts of what he would like to do to Lucius. James didn't answer; he was staring off into space, looking as if he were a thousand miles away. Remus reached out and gently shook his shoulder.

James started, plunging back into reality. The dreamy look in his eyes was fading slowly. "What?" he demanded.

"What were you thinking about?" asked Sirius.

James' cheeks colored slightly, but he knew it would be pointless to lie to his best friends, who knew him as well as he did himself. And anyway, he was a bad liar. "I was thinking about Evans," he admitted.

Sirius nodded his approval. "Were you planning to take revenge on her?" he guessed eagerly. "If I'd been insulted like that, I would-" Remus shot him a look.

"No." James didn't even sound annoyed, and his hazel eyes were beginning to stare blankly at the wall again. "How can she be so..." He groped for the right word.

"Rude?" suggested Sirius, cocking his head.

"Daring?" Remus offered.

"Beautiful," James finished. Clearly frustrated with himself, he sighed and threw himself on to the soft bed of Sirius that he was sitting until a second before.

Sirius and Remus exchanged incredulous looks. They had not expected this reaction, and certainly didn't know how to respond to it. Desperate for words that wouldn't form, they stared uncertainly at the lying form of James. It was Sirius who broke the silence.

"Like I said," he remarked finally, faintly amused by now, "it's disgusting what love does to you."

"Shut up." James' voice was muffled by a pillow, but Sirius and Remus could tell that he was grinning. "I'll..."

"I'll what?"

"...get you for that!" For the next few minutes, the room was filled with flying pillows and screaming laughter as the three boys had a hilarious pillow fight. After thumping others on the head with a pillow a thousand times and getting thumped a thousand times back, they finally sat on their own beds, panting for breath. All three could barely hold back their grins.

When the moment of getting their breaths back had passed, Remus glanced at James. "So you're serious," he said quietly.

"Serious about what?" James and Sirius asked simultaneously.

"About Lily Evans," answered Remus, just as serious as before. A long silence followed his words. The only sound that could be heard was the splashing of water, which meant that Peter was still enjoying his bath.

James started to shake his head, then stopped. He knew it wasn't true. Not only was he serious about liking Lily, he was crazy about her. Ever since he'd noticed the redhead girl's charm that he had failed to recognize over the years, everything about her seemed to amaze him. The way she was always surrounded by loving friends. Her kind attitude towards everyone. Her brilliant smile, the one that could make his head light. Her curly, dark red hair that framed her white face. And her eyes... James blinked a couple of times, forcing the thought of her big green eyes out of his head and concentrated on his friends' faces instead. Remus, looking serious. Sirius was biting his lower lip irritably.

"I think I am," James whispered. It felt a bit strange to admit it out loud. "I can't stop thinking about her." And about her eyes, he added mentally.

"Even though she hates you?" Sirius demanded. "And you can't exactly say what she said earlier was charming, can you?" His eyes widened with disbelief.

"She didn't mean it," said James with such force that he was somewhat surprised.

Sirius shrugged and stared back at him, a grin tugging the corners of his mouth. "And what is this? Denial?"

"Padfoot," Remus said quietly, "why do you have to be so protective about James all the time? Are you afraid you'll..."

"...lose him?" Sirius finished, disbelief crossing his handsome features more than ever. But Remus and James could see that he was somewhat taken back, as if that was what he'd been worrying about all along indeed. "That's ridiculous," he sputtered.

"It is ridiculous," said James quietly. "Because I would never replace you guys. Never." There was a note of genuine finality in his voice that stunned everyone in the room for a moment.

Sirius fell back on his bed, seemingly unfazed. "Whatever," he said lazily. But James noted with a smile that the tiniest hint of relief had found its way into his friend's voice.