All Alone

Hermione walked into the common room with a smile on her face. She was glad that Harry had dumped her really. She hadn't really loved him like she thought she had. She had feelings for Severus for a while, she just had not realised it.

The first thing that met her eyes as she walked in was the sight of Ron comforting a crying Ginny. Other people around them were tidy up the aftermath of the earthquake. Hermione walked over and sat next to Ginny.

"How was your time with McGonagall?" Ron asked as she sat down. To explain her disappearances to go down and see Severus, she had told Ron and Harry that Professor McGonagall was her mentor. They would be shocked and angry if they ever found out that she had lied to them.

"Yes, thanks Ron. What's the matter with Ginny?" she asked looking concerned.

"She got scared of the earthquake. She's still in shock over that bookcase. It almost fell on her," he replied holding his sister. "I'm sorry about Harry. He's changed a lot since You - Know - Who came back. He just does not care anymore."

"Ron, I'm going to bed now. Night," said Ginny getting up and heading up the stairs.

"Everything's changed now. Harrys left us for Cho and the others. Ginny's grown up a lot too. She like one of us now," Ron sighed. "Everyone's changed. You too Herm. I guess war can do that to people."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm going to bed. Goodnight," said Hermione yawning. She got up and went into her dormitory. The room was dark, the low breathing of the other two girls told her that they were asleep. She laid down on her bed. She could only think about Severus. Even though Severus was mean and unkind to her in public he was really sensitive when he was alone. Maybe it was because of his past. He and Hermione had talked about his past. She felt sorry for him. His parents had not wanted him. They had both been Death Eaters when they were alive. They left him to the house elves to look after him and to care of him. He had grown up to be cruel, to not let anyone close to him. He did not want that same treatment that he had been given at home. He was fragile, like a child. He was pushed into being a Death Eater by his father. The Dark Lord had been pleased.

She looked at him now. He was cruel because he had grown up like it. He had turned to Dumbledor when his father died. He had told him everything. Since Voldemort had returned, she knew that he had turned spy for Dumbledor. He had to be nasty to the Gryffindors to keep up appearances, just in case any young Death Eaters were present in the school. She understood. She kept his secret for him. Slowly she fell asleep.

Severus walked back down to the dungeons silently. He walked in the shadows, so no student would notice him if they were out after curfew. He did not understand how she had got past his defences, it puzzled him. She had broken up them, had managed to see his heart. He had put them up because he could not stand to be broken again. His heart had been broken before, by his parents when he was young. They had hated him. But Hermione, she had broken them away, she had seen his true self. A lost boy, unloved and uncared-for. She had cared for him, he appreciated that. His appreciation for her had turned to love. He could not stop it. It just happened.

Finally he made it to his private rooms without being seen. He looked around the room. There were books and pieces of parchment littered the floor. He went over and started to tidy up. After every thing was clean again, he went into his room and laid on his bed just thinking. He needed to talk to her. To talk about how much he loved her, and why. He lay there thinking of his past, his memories, until he fell into a deep and uneasy sleep.

"Hermione! Wake up," shouted Ginny up the stairs. She burst into the room and started to shake her.

Hermione woke up. She looked around the room, the others were gone. Sunlight streamed through the open window, it's rays shining on her bed.

"Hurry up, please," moaned Ginny, rushing around the room. "It's almost time for the first lesson. I've got to go, I'll see you and Ron at lunch. Bye." She rushed out of the room again and left Hermione to get ready. she thought about last nights events. Her room was still a mess form the earthquake. Lavender and Parvati had just put her belonging on the desk to clear the floor. As soon as she was ready, Hermione went down the stairs and into the common room. Ron was there waiting for her.

Ron smiled when he saw her walking down the stairs. She had always been beautiful, but she had grown up a bit. She had curves in all the right places. He loved her. He was angry and upset when Harry and Hermione had been going out. Harry had knew of course, that he like her. Now that that Harry had dumped her he had a chance, but he had to wait though, let her get over Harry. He had to be there when she was ready to talk about it. He had to act like a big brother that she could fall on when she needed help, then she would fall in love with him.

"Hi," she greeted him. "What are you smiling at?"

Ron blushed as he turned his head away .He had not realised that he had been smiling, or staring for that matter. "Nothing, lets go. It's Potions first," he mumbled.

Hermione gave him a puzzled look. She grabbed her book bag and followed him out of the room. They walked down the many flights of stairs and into the cold and dark dungeons in silence. They made it just as the bell rung.

Snape swept into the room with a far away look in his black eyes. He sat down at his desk and got a book out. "Get out your ingredients for the polyjuice potion. Start making the potion please. There is Boomslang skin in the cupboard if you need it. Work in silence, I do not want to be disturbed," he said in a low voice.

The lesson went on as usual. Neville succeeded in melting what seemed like his hundredth cauldron, which caused Snape to take 20 points from Gryffindor. At the end of the lesson, Snape sent all of them away in a foul mood. He had been in thought for most of the lesson, only looking up to see how well the class was behaving and to see how Hermione was. He looked up from the book he was reading to find her staring at him, an odd look in her eyes. Her brown eyes told him that she was confused, bewildered by his behaviour today.

As she looked into his eyes she saw years of terror and pain, so much sorrow for someone so young. He had been hurt, both emotionally and mentally. There were scars there that would never heal. He had seen hundreds die because of that man. That man had made him kill so many. It was terrible. It was what had affected his personality.

Severus was silent as he looked into her brown eyes. She was wise beyond her years, she could see into his very soul. A piece of her long brown hair, that was left down, fell over her eyes. Automatically she moved the hair behind her ear. Severus was thinking, thinking of what to say to her. " Hermione, I'm really sorry. It never meant to be like that. I'm sorry I kissed you. There can never be anything between us. Never, even after you leave school. Please do not go away with a wrong impression of me. It's for your own good," he said, stumbling over many of the words.

Hermione looked down, her eyes brimming with tears. She inwardly scolded herself. She was cry about what he had said. What did it mean to her anyway. He had not cared about the kiss. It had probably meant nothing to him. She blinked away the tears. "Fine," she said looking at him, her eyes filled with anger and hatred. "Fine, If that's the way you want it, then I can comply with that." She stormed out of the room, leaving a heartbroken Severus behind.

He had lost her. The woman he loved. The kiss had meant everything to him. No one had kissed him like that, with so much passion. He was traumatised with what he had seen in her eyes. Anger and hate. He did not wish to live, he had nothing. His life was a mess, he had no one to love. No one had loved him, all the girls at school had fancied Lucius, his blonde hair had them on their knees when he passed them. No, Severus had never had anyone to love, to share his most precious secrets with. To share his life with. Everything dear to him had gone, gone out the door, he had no reason to live now.

Upstairs in the girls bathroom, Hermione sat crying.