A Million Tears

lilyheartsjames

Story Summary:
James Potter has always been in love with Lily. It's as known as two plus two being four. But what happens when all of that changes? What happens when James is suddenly hook line & sinker in love with a girl whose name isn't Lily Evans?

Chapter 01

Posted:
02/22/2006
Hits:
1,699


The Suspicions...

Sirius and Lily sat at a small round table just outside a fancy bistro. The two were leaning over the table as they held hands and gazed so very lovingly into each other's eyes just as the high sun set above them. This whole scene was very romantic indeed.

Lily looked so beautiful with her flowing and fiery red hair let loose to hang over her shoulders, a pretty white rose in her hair as she smiled widely across the table at Sirius. And Sirius, he looked incredibly handsome, in fact more handsome than he usually did. His shaggy black hair was trimmed a little, so that you could see his eyes better. And his teeth, they were the whitest teeth you'd ever see; whiter than snow, they were whiter than anything. It made his charming smile that much more attractive.

"Oh Sirius," Lily said in a dreamy voice quite unlike her own, "I have a confession to make."

Sirius squeezed her hands as he leaned in closer, replying, "Yes, Lily?"

"I love you," she said simply and dramatically.

"And I you," said Sirius, leaning all the way over the table now to kiss her gently on the lips.

And suddenly there seemed to be music as if this were the ending of some kind of Muggle movie. The music was loud and the notes were bright, only getting louder as Sirius and Lily continued to snog over the table, neither of them caring that they had split their cups of tea all over the table.

"Hey!" yelled James suddenly, running into the scene as the two continued to snog. "What are you doing? Sirius! Lily!"

But they ignored him; it was almost like they couldn't hear him, and so they continued to kiss. And even if they did hear him, they didn't seem to care. James' unruly black hair seemed to wilt down with disappointment as he frowned hurtfully. The woman of his dreams was snogging his best friend like there was no tomorrow.

"James," Lily said suddenly when she finally extricated herself from Sirius. Her lips were slightly swollen and she looked quite pleased. "I've decided to run away with Sirius and become his bride. Bye!"

Lily grabbed Sirius' hand, and together they started off in the opposite direction. James' mouth dropped in indignation as he jogged after them.

"Sirius! Sirius, mate! How could you do this to me?" James shouted after him. He couldn't run any faster. He was running about as slow as Peter, which was very slow indeed. It was so annoying to be so slow! A turtle seemed to be faster...

"Sorry mate!" Sirius called back as he and Lily continued to run, running faster and faster with each passing second. He looked over his shoulder for a second before speeding up. "Lily's a bloody good kisser!"

"That's why!" James yelped in disbelief, "You're doing this 'cause she's a good kisser?"

"You've never kissed her mate!" Sirius said distantly, so far ahead now that James knew he couldn't catch up with them. An instant after they disappeared out of view, the sun suddenly dropping out of view from the sky, to be replaced with the moon and a velvety background.

James stopped running as he felt his heart snap into two. It was so painful he literally thought his heart really had snapped into two. He dropped down to his knees as that bright, sunshiny music abruptly stopped, and called out the only thing that came to his mind, "NOOOOOOOOOO! LILY NOOOOOOO!"

THUMP!

James rolled over the side of his bed and smacked right into the floor of his dormitory. He kept his eyes shut tight for a few seconds, afraid to open them and see Sirius and Lily snogging each other senseless again. He'd go blind if he saw it again. Really, he would.

He opened one eye and took a look around. He was back in his dormitory and he stupidly realized a second later that it was a...

"...DREAM! IT WAS ALL A DREAM!" he shouted in relief, pushing himself up onto his feet. "That's a relief," he said, sighing, "I thought for a second that I might of had to murder Sirius."

"Murder me? Why?" Sirius asked from the doorway of their bathroom. He had obviously just taken a shower and changed into a clean uniform, because the aroma of his intoxicating cologne filled the whole dormitory as he crossed it to his trunk.

"Uhh," James stuttered, scratching his messy hair. "No reason."

"It wasn't the 'me snogging Lily senseless then running away together 'cause she's a good kisser' dream again, was it?" Sirius asked predictably, pulling out a few books from his trunk and stuffing it uncaringly into his leather book bag.

James blinked. "No," he said. "Why'd you think that?"

"Because you always have that dream. And sometimes in the middle of the night you're mumbling about how much I've betrayed you 'cause Lily is a good kisser, oh, and of course you finish off by saying 'I'll kill you, Sirius!' every time. And, yeah, that's how I know." Sirius shrugged.

"Mate!" James gasped. "I'm so sorry! I wouldn't kill you. I'd just injure you really badly."

Sirius chuckled as he crossed the room again, this time towards the door. "I'll keep that in mind for future reference."

"Right - WAIT, what's that supposed to mean?" James shouted, his eyes widening behind his glasses.

Sirius laughed harder. "Get dressed James. Class starts in twenty. And you'd better be there or else you might miss Lily and me making out just before we elope."

"WHAT?"

"Just kidding, Prongs. Merlin, you're easy," Sirius joked as he shut the door after him.

James exhaled. So maybe he was. He couldn't help it. It was just, he had dreamt of Lily and him being together since he was eleven years old, and he couldn't stop now. He was truly, madly, deeply, completely, positively, utterly, totally in love with the girl!

What was a wizard to do, honestly?

.........

"One date, Lily! One date won't hurt you!" cried Ryan Weatherspoon, putting her hands together as if she were praying and making a pleading facial expression. "Please! Pretty please with sprinkles and cherries and fudge, and all that jolly good stuff on top! PLEASE! Oh, come on, Lily! You're impossible!"

"No."

"I'm only going to ask you this once more. Please, go out with him? PLEASE!" She made her sincerest face this time.

"No!" Lily replied with a hint of bliss at turning away her friend's offer.

"Ugh. Come on!"

"I thought you were only asking me once more."

"Like I really would stop there, Lily. I thought you knew me by now," said Ryan, raising an eyebrow. She let out a sigh and said indifferently, "Fine...don't."

"Okay, I won't. It's settled then. Pass the marmalade."

"COME ON! What do you have to lose by going on a date with a handsome git that totally adores you?" asked Ryan.

Lily didn't reply, but her eyes said it all. They automatically shot over in the direction of James Potter as soon as Ryan asked her that question. She gazed at James for a few fleeting seconds before returning her gaze back to Ryan. Ryan grinned smugly now.

"Lily Michelle Evans," Ryan said with a tisk, tisk. "You don't want to go out with Darien because of James!"

"No!"

"Why? Is it because you fancy him after all?" Ryan asked curiously.

"NO! Never!" Lily replied tetchily, her bright green eyes glancing back over in Potter's direction.

"Then what the heck is it, Lily?"

"Haven't you ever noticed that whenever I get romantically involved with someone, they have an accident?" Lily whispered, playing with her food by prodding it with her fork.

"Erm, no..."

"Think about it, Ry. Remember last year when I was dating Erick Lipton for those few months, then suddenly when we really started to get into a more serious relationship; Erick had that accident during Prefect duties. Then there was Timothy McCall too..."

"Let me get this straight," said Ryan, setting down her knife and fork, "You think that whenever a git and you get into a good relationship, James...eliminates them?"

"Well, yeah."

Ryan let out a laugh. "I'm sorry Lily, but that's ridiculous. James loves you, yes, but would he really do that for you?"

"I dunno anymore, Ry. He is sort of...obsessed."

"Do you really think he'd do anything for you?"

Lily hesitated to answer, her eyes once more traveling over to the bloke that had fancied her endlessly for years. She sighed instead of an answer. She honestly didn't know anymore. James seemed to be willing to give her the world if she simply asked for it, and part of her found that so bloody annoying, but deep down inside of Lily Evans heart and soul, she wanted to ask.

.........

"Okay, since our last erm, assignment didn't go so well with choosing partners, I have decided to choose 'em for you. No, no groaning won't change my mind. When I call you and your partners name, one of you move to sit with your partner. Now, err, Lupin and Weatherspoon. Longbottom and Colon. McGregor and Greengrass. Potter and Pettigrew. Evans...and..." said Professor Opalman, lingering on Lily's name for a second.

James narrowed his eyes, wondering what lucky prat would get to be Lily's partner. Whoever it was better not have enjoyed himself too much with Lily or else he'd have to kindly remind them where their rightful place was.

"...Black," finished Professor Opalman. "Evans and Black, of course. Cooper and..."

James' mouth dropped in shock as he watched Sirius pick up his book bag, toss it over his shoulder, and head over to Lily's table. He dropped down into the seat next to her and immediately engaged her in conversation.

"That...git," James growled through clenched teeth.

"Hey James," Peter said stupidly, as if he hadn't seen James all morning. He smiled.

James slowly turned his head to look at Peter, and Peter saw at once that James wasn't in a mood to fool around. He smiled sheepishly at him and fell silent. James' eyes returned back over to Sirius and Lily once scaring and intimidating Peter just right.

He wished he could hear what they were saying. If only he could.

"Don't make it obvious," Sirius was whispering to Lily, a grin on his handsome face, "He's looking over here."

Lily almost laughed. "What d'you think he thinks we're saying to each other?" she asked.

"I dunno...James is err, the jealous type."

"Believe me, I've noticed," Lily replied, keeping her eyes on Sirius to fool James, "It's kind of funny to see how jealous he is just because we're partners." She laughed at this, and so did he.

"I know. Like we're secretly having some kind of heated romance or something," Sirius chuckled.

James was straining his ears as best as he could to hear any words from their conversation. They were laughing. He couldn't believe Sirius! What kind of a best friend was he? How could he do this to him? Sirius knew he had loved Lily since the moment he laid eyes on her, and here he was flirting with her, turning on that old Black charm.

"But we're not," Lily said in response to Sirius' comment.

"Of course not," Sirius said quickly. They both stared at each other awkwardly in silence now, the laughter dying away from both of their faces. "I wouldn't do that to James," Sirius whispered.

"I know. Sorry for sounding erm, rude."

"Oh Merlin. Don't look but he's coming this way," Sirius muttered as he saw James get out of his seat and head in their direction.

"Let's laugh." Lily began giggling and Sirius followed her lead. By the time James arrived at their table the two of them were laughing hard at nothing - though they didn't care for James to know this, and James was glaring at both of them, especially Sirius.

"Hello you two," he said with forced calm. "Whatever is so funny?"

"Oh nothing," Lily said, grinning as her and Sirius glanced at each other, "You wouldn't get it anyway. It isn't your sort of joke."

"My sort of joke? What the...Sirius can I speak to you for a moment?" James asked, grabbing his friend by the elbow and walking in the opposite direction. He stopped ten feet away.

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, looking amused.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" James snarled without preamble, "Why are you and Evans laughing?"

"Nothing. Geez, Prongs, calm down. It's not like your dream or anything," Sirius assured, and then walked away back to the table.

James sighed as he crossed his arms, watching with his hazel eyes as Sirius and Lily began laughing once more. Somehow after listening to Sirius reassure him that there was nothing going on between them, he wasn't so sure...

.........

"I'm going to get to her first," James said to Remus later that day while they ate dinner. He stuffed a forkful of roast beef into his mouth, chewing hard before swallowing and continuing. "Sirius thinks he can romance my Evans, does he? Well, I'll show him."

"Erm, you're really starting to scare me, Prongs," said Remus Lupin, a calm and intelligent boy with fluffy brown hair and even browner round eyes. He looked calmly at his friend and took off his reading glasses as he set down his copy of the Daily Prophet. "Don't you think you're being a little overprotective of Evans? Don't you think you're being a bit obsessive?"

"Me? Nah!" James said as if the idea were totally preposterous.

Remus sighed as he returned to his newspaper article.

"Look at them," James said as he watched Sirius and Lily leaving the Great Hall together, talking. "If I know anything about my best friend, I bet he's gonna ask her out. Sometime soon. We have to work quickly."

"We?"

"Yeah, we!"

"Why me? Why not Peter?"

"Peter's an idiot, now c'mon!" James said as he stood and hurried out of the Great Hall. Remus followed him, though not as quickly and energetically. James entered the entrance hall, looking back ways for the love of his life and the friend of his life. "I know," he said, "They're heading up to the common room for privacy. If there's something I know about the way he works with girls, it's he loves privacy. What better privacy than the common room when everyone else is down here eating? Come, my Moony!"

"Come my Moony?" Remus repeated, giving James a strange look.

He sighed for a second time as he followed in the wake of James, who was dashing quickly up the stairs, and acting furtive like a Muggle secret agent. He kept ducking behind suits of armor, eyes narrowed as if such things like the portraits lining the walls were suspicious. Remus followed in his wake all the way up seven floors to Gryffindor tower, rolling his eyes the whole way at James' foolishness. They took the short way, because James said he was sure Sirius and Lily had taken the longer way, and they just had to beat them there. He was right.

James and Remus entered the common room to find that they were the only one's there. James beckoned Remus to follow him over to the comfy sofa just next to the crackling fire. He looked slightly maniacal, especially in the way that only half his face was visible from the light of the fire, but the other half was in the shadows and he had a grin on his face. His messy hair only contributed to his insane look.

"Now," he said quietly, "We're going to hide under this sofa, because Sirius always sits here with his girlfriends. And this way we can hear everything they say."

"That has got to be the stupidest idea ever," Remus said bluntly.

"Hmmm...you're probably right, but no time to think about that now," James said as he knelt to the floor, "Come now. Let's hide. I think I hear someone in the portrait hole."

Remus knelt down too and the two friends rolled underneath the sofa just as the portrait hole opened, and predictably Sirius and Lily stepped through laughing, which of course made James grit his teeth.

"It's so funny!" Lily exclaimed as she and Sirius indeed walked in the direction of the sofa.

"I know," Sirius admitted, "But I'm beginning to feel guilty about this."

"Oh, Sirius," Lily remarked uncaringly, shrugging, "It isn't that big of a deal. He doesn't have to know about what we're doing."

"Yeah, I guess it is just for fun."

James almost let out a very audible growl from disbelief. Just for fun? JUST FOR FUN? What the hell was wrong with them? What was wrong with Sirius? He was having a fling with the woman his best friend loved to death, just for fun? How sick and disloyal was that? Even Remus' eyes were widening from this conversation.

"Exactly. But it's funny to see James this way," Lily giggled as the two dropped down onto the sofa.

"Yeah, but he's usually always like that."

Lily snorted. "Trust me, I know. He's way too overprotective."

Remus mouthed, "I told you so," while James purposely avoided his eyes.

Just then the portrait hole opened, and footsteps of at least six other students could be heard as they filed inside the common room, chatting as they did. Remus' and James' eyes opened even wider as they realized they were trapped now, trapped underneath a couch.

"He loves you," Sirius told her a bit more quietly now.

James could almost hear Lily shrugging and rolling her eyes. "I can't help if he does," she answered simply, "That's exactly why I'm doing this...to teach him a lesson."

"Good lesson."

"He's never going to find out anyway," Lily said indifferently, "You wouldn't tell him."

"Of course not."

"WHAT A GOOD BEST FRIEND!" James couldn't help but blurt out in a shout. He smacked his hand to his mouth afterwards, and Remus smacked his hand to James' mouth as well. Somehow, very stupidly somehow, they both hoped Lily and Sirius hadn't heard them. Like strange shouts in the voice of James Potter were always naturally heard when sitting on a couch...

A second later they could see Sirius' hand groping underneath the couch for them. He sure enough found their feet and said to Lily, "Yeah, he's here. Him and Remus."

"Oh give me a break!" Lily shrieked as James and Remus crawled out embarrassedly from underneath the sofa. Remus was the color of a tomato, as was James, but James looked much more defiant about it.

"I'll...I'll be heading upstairs now," Remus said shyly, turning slowly around and hurrying upstairs. He avoided the gaze of everyone in the common room; by now they were all watching this scene.

"James, I can't believe you!"

"How could you Lily? HOW COULD YOU SIRIUS?" James yelled, rounding on Sirius angrily.

"Oh don't change the subject to us!" Lily growled, furiously grabbing James' arm and turning him back around to look at her. "The real matter here is your obsessive nature with me! James you practically stalk me! It's out of hand, it's completely out of hand!"

"I do not stalk you...I just watch over you really, really, really closely," James explained delicately.

"Ugh. Shut up. Stop trying to joke your way out of this, because you know what? I don't find this funny at all," Lily said seriously, "You're an okay guy, James, but I could never love you."

"WHY NOT?"

"Because...Because we're not compatible. I have more in common with Remus or Sirius than I do you!" Lily explained in a yell, "Just...just leave me alone, will you? Geez, James, seriously. I don't love you. I don't like you. We're not even friends."

James' hair seemed to wilt down at her words, and his face was so disappointed. Again he rounded on Sirius.

"You," he said accusingly to Sirius, "How could you do this to me? You're my best friend! Oh, I'm sorry...WERE, were my best friend!"

"What, James-," Sirius began.

"Shut it. I don't want to hear it. You know," James said, pointing to Lily, "You know she's off limits."

"OFF LIMITS?" Lily barked so loudly it sounded as if she were speaking into a magic microphone, "OFF LIMITS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, JAMES?"

Everything was utterly quiet except for her. She looked so very irate. No one had ever seen her this upset before. She was literally quivering with rage.

"How dare you treat me like I'm a piece of property?" she whispered dangerously, her bright green eyes flaming with anger, "How dare you act as if you own me, James Potter? You don't. YOU...DON'T...OWN...ME! I will date, see, befriend whoever I want to, got it? You have no right to tell me whom to see. No right. You're an idiot. THAT'S why I could never love you, James. You're an idiot. Stop stalking me and get a real life."

She gave him one last threatening glare before she stomped off in the direction of her dormitory staircase.

"Lily! You misunderstood!" James called after her.

She stopped in her tracks, slowly turning around to face him again. She was aware that everyone was watching, but she didn't care. She said in an even yet seething voice, "No, Potter. YOU misunderstood me. I want nothing to do with you. Don't call me Lily. Don't even think about me. Okay?"

"Lily," he croaked hurtfully.

"Sirius," Lily said, her eyes leaving James and falling onto the teenager next to him, "I have a question to ask you."

Sirius hesitated. "Yeah?" he said finally, avoiding James' glaring eyes.

"Would you like to go out with me on a date on the next Hogsmeade trip?" Lily asked loudly and politely, knowing full well that this would make James unbelievably angry and jealous, and hurt him hugely at the same time. "I need a gentleman to go with."

Sirius stared right into her amazing bright eyes before he looked over to his side, where James was glaring at him threateningly. He knew what he was going to do; he also knew what a huge mistake this probably was. But he was a stubborn git, and he wasn't going to let James intimidate him.

"Alright," he said with a flashy grin, "Sure thing, Lily."

"Grand." Lily grinned widely all the way up to her dormitory, slamming the door behind her.

The second she was gone everyone in the common room broke out into gossiping conversations about the whole scene that had just happened. James slowly turned over to face Sirius, as if he were about to start a row with him. James' loud anger was always bad, but James' silent anger was always the worst, and as Sirius looked in the face of his silent friend, he knew James was unbelievably pissed off.

"Don't even start," Sirius said sternly, "I'm not going to hear it James."

"You have some nerve," James said finally, quietly though and his voice shook a bit.

"I do? You do. You seem to have all the nerve in the world, Prongs. You're my best friend. I love you like a brother. Hell, I love you more than my blood brother. I love you to death. But if you think you can control me, intimidate me from doing what I want, you're sadly mistaken."

With that Sirius left his best mate standing there like an idiot. James watched him crawl out through the portrait hole, his jaw square as he also began to tremble furiously.

"I'm sadly mistaken, eh, Black? Right, we'll see who is soon. You were right about one thing," James muttered under his breath, eyes narrowed, "I do have all the nerve in the world. I also get revenge every time. And this time's no different, mate. Even if you WERE my best friend, it's nooooo different. No one's gonna come between Evans and me! No one!"

.........

End of Part 1

To Be Continued...