The Closet

Chapter 2: Telling Someone

A week had passed since Draco had confronted Harry and he still hadn't made a decision. He knew he didn't want to lose Draco. What had started out as a bitter rivalry had changed over the years and had developed into a passionate relationship. It was too good to let go. Harry wasn't sure if this sort of thing came twice in a lifetime and he didn't really fancy finding out.

On the other hand, he had no idea how to go about telling everyone. As far as they were concerned Harry and Draco were still enemies. It would be rather a sharp twist to go from enemies to boyfriends all at once. In hindsight, he probably should have told someone when his feelings had started changing, which was about halfway through sixth year. Of course, hindsight doesn't help anyone. Harry was still at a loss at what to do.

Even if I decided to tell someone, who would I tell? Ron would have a heart attack. He hates Draco. Actually, all the boys in the dorm do. Ginny's out because she likes, or at least liked me. We're not that close, anyway. I guess that leaves Hermione. I suppose she'd understand the best. I wish Sirius were here. Or at least, Remus. I could ask how they came out. But it must be easier to admit you're seeing one of your best friends than to admit you're seeing one of your ex-worst enemies. I'd better just tell Hermione.

Harry left his dorm, where he'd been lying on the bed thinking, and went down to the common room. Hopefully, he could catch Hermione alone. It was just his luck that Ron was playing chess with Ginny, but Hermione was nowhere in sight. He made his way over to the two Weasleys to ask where she was.

"Check. Try to get out of that, Ginny," Ron said triumphantly. "Hey, Harry."

"Hey, Ron. Hi, Ginny."

"Hi, Harry. Don't break my concentration. I'm going to beat him this time," she said, staring intently at the board.

"No you won't," Ron laughed. "No one ever beats me."

Harry grinned. It was nice to know that amid all the confusion in his life, some things just didn't change. As much as he would've liked to stick around, he really needed to tell Hermione soon or he would never do it.

"Ron, do you know where Hermione is?"

Way to be subtle, Harry.

"In the library, of course." Ron looked up at Harry with a confused look on his face. "Why?"

Think fast.

"I just need her help with, er, something."

Very smooth, idiot.

"She won't let you copy, you know. I've already tried today."

"Well, I haven't," Harry said, grinning. He was lucky Ron was so oblivious. Very lucky, indeed. He turned and left the common room.

As he walked down to the library, he tried to come up with something to say. So far all he had was 'Hi, Hermione'. He really didn't think this was going to go very well.

As it turned out, Hermione was sitting at the back of the library, far away from the few people still in there so late. Very convenient, Harry thought. Now all I've got to do is actually tell her. Harry approached the table and said the only thing he'd planned.

"Hi, Hermione."

"I'm not letting you copy my homework, Harry," she said, without even looking up from her parchment.

Harry sat down and sighed. Did everyone think he was so predictable?

"I don't want to copy your homework. I need your help."

Still not looking up, Hermione said, "Well, I'll help you, Harry, but I won't write your essay for you."

Harry sighed a little louder this time. "It's not about homework."

That made her look up. "What's it about then?"

"Er, relationship stuff," Harry mumbled.

"But, Harry, you don't have a girlfriend."

"I know I don't."

Hermione looked confused. "Do you want me to help you get one? Is that it?"

"No," Harry said, shaking his head. This was going to be harder than he thought. "I'm already in a relationship, actually."

Hermione looked even more confused at this. For someone so smart she was being pretty thick. "But you just said-"

"I said I didn't have a girlfriend," he interrupted, putting emphasis on the word girl. Maybe she'll get the hint and I won't have to actually say it. Harry held his breath and hoped she understood.

"Exactly, so how could you be-oh." Her eyes widened as she realized the meaning of his statement. "But you don't...I mean, do you..." she trailed off, not finishing her sentence.

Looks like I'm going to have to say this after all.

"Like boys, Hermione? Er, yeah, I do." That wasn't so bad.

"Oh." Hermione looked as if she wasn't exactly sure what to do with this information. "Well...hmm...this is certainly...unexpected. How long have you, um, known?"

Harry looked at his hands. If he couldn't see her face it would be easier to answer her questions. "Well, I suppose, I admitted it to myself halfway through sixth year. I mean, I didn't do anything about it until about three months ago, but that was because I didn't think the guy I liked could like me back."

"Is that what made you realize you were..." Hermione paused. "Gay?"

"Yes. I figured out I had a crush on a boy and I drew my own conclusions from that."

Hermione furrowed her brows. "But you had that crush on Cho Chang in fourth and fifth year. How did this crush change your mind?"

"Trust me. Cho was nothing compared to this."

Hermione nodded slowly. "Well, if you're sure. I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Though, I must say this came pretty much out of the blue."

Harry nodded as well. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. You are one of my best friends after all. I just didn't want anyone to know." He shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't want to let anyone down, you know."

Hermione's face softened and her voice filled with concern and apology. "Oh, Harry. Don't say that. You're not letting anyone down. You're my friend. I'll support you no matter what you want to do with your life. If you really like boys, then that's fine with me. I just want you to be happy."

Harry looked up at her then, and saw that her eyes were full of sincerity. He let out a relieved sigh. That was one down. Only the rest of the school to go.

"Thanks, Hermione. You don't know how much that means to me. I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

Hermione smiled. "It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable. I'm just going to have to get used to that. I mean, I've thought you liked girls for the longest time, so I'll just have to adjust that." She paused for a moment and looked as if she were thinking. "Now, we can talk about boys if you ever want to."

"But you don't talk about boys."

"Well, not with Lavender and Parvati. They get all giggly," she protested. "You won't get giggly, will you?"

Harry shook his head vigorously.

"So we can talk about boys, then."

"Er, but you're going out with Ron."

Hermione looked temporarily thrown.

"Right, I suppose you won't want me to talk about Ron."

Harry shook his head again.

"So you can talk, and I'll listen. You can talk about other boys with me, and I'll tell you what I think of them in regards to you. Plus, we can talk about celebrities and, oh I don't know, Quidditch stars and stuff."

Harry shrugged. "Sure. If you want to."

"Great. So that's settled."

They sat in silence for a moment before Hermione began speaking again. "I'm glad you told me, Harry. I don't want you to feel there are things you can't tell me." Harry nodded and Hermione continued. "So what did you need me to help you with?"

Harry took a deep breath and started in on his story. "Well, you know this guy I told you about? Well, remember on Halloween how I disappeared for a few hours?" Hermione nodded and Harry carried on, "Well, that was the first time we, er, snogged. We were yelling at each other and then the next thing I knew I was kissing him and he was kissing me back. It was very sudden and I'm still surprised it happened." Harry stared at the books on the table and forgot he was actually talking to someone. "Every time I go to meet him, I expect him to look at me like he did before and go back to not liking me. I can hardly believe it's real." His voice was a whisper by the time he stopped and he just sat for a few moments staring at the Potions textbook Hermione had been studying from.

After a minute, Hermione decided to get the conversation going again. "That's all very, er, romantic, Harry, but where do I fit in all this?"

Harry looked up sharply and caught her eye for a few seconds before continuing, "Well, that was three months ago, Hermione. We've been meeting in broom closets and empty classrooms since then, and frankly, he's getting tired of it. A week ago he told me I had to tell everyone about us or I had to get a new boyfriend."

"So you need my help coming out to everyone?" she said slowly.

"Well, everyone's not really the problem," Harry said. "If it was just a matter of telling everyone, I wouldn't need your help, really. I could do that myself. I think a banner of some type would do the trick." Hermione grinned, picturing a giant banner proclaiming Harry's sexual orientation hanging in the Great Hall. "No," Harry continued, shaking his head a bit, "the problem is Ron. I need you to tell me how I can tell Ron."

"Do you really think Ron will have such a problem with you being gay?" That phrase still sounded strange to Hermione's ears.

"It's not the liking boys bit that I don't know how to do. It's more telling him I like a particular boy that's the hard part." Harry paused and Hermione waited, seeing he clearly wasn't done. Plus she was fairly curious to find out who the lucky boy was herself. "How do I tell Ron I'm dating Draco Malfoy?"