The Closet

The Closet

Chapter 1: Not So Silent and an Ultimatum

Harry lay in bed trying to ignore the sounds coming from Seamus' bed. He desperately wanted to get to sleep but he kept getting distracted by the moans and cries from two beds away. Seamus and his 'visitor' were both loud tonight.

He cursed Seamus' poor silencing spell. Hearing Seamus' deep voice again, he decided to try counting sheep.

One sheep, two sheep, three sheep...

"Yes, God yes! So good...you're so tight."

Four sheep, five sheep, six sheep, seven sheep...

"Oh, oh, that's right. You like that, don't you?"

Eight sheep, nine sheep, ten sheep, eleven sheep...

"That's good. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God..."

Er, f-fifteen sheep, no, er, eleven, no twelve sheep...

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Thirteen sheep, fourteen sheep, fifteen sheep...

"Harder, Seamus. Faster!"

Sexteen, er, sixteen shags, I mean sheep, oh Christ.

Harry just couldn't block out the sounds and he let out a low moan of his own. All he wanted was to go to sleep. Why did this always happen to him?

The rest of the Gryffindor seventh years, with the exception of Seamus, were all sleeping soundly. Harry was the only one kept awake. He supposed everyone was used to it by now. Seamus was always bringing people up to the room. Harry noted that Seamus was getting to be a bit of a slut. Actually, all the boys were on the, er, 'active' side. Dean would bring up his current girlfriend every once and a while. It was lucky for him that he and Ginny broke up at the beginning of his sixth year or Ron would've beaten him to a pulp. But then again, Ron wasn't exactly innocent either. Occasionally, he could convince Hermione to stay the night in the dorm. As Harry found out, in the throes of passion, Hermione's silencing spells were a bit off too. Even Neville went missing from the dorms sometimes, only to appear the next morning with an 'I just got laid' look on his face. Harry was the only one who was alone in his bed, every single night. And he was getting frustrated.

From the tie he'd seen lying on the floor earlier, Seamus' latest conquest was a Hufflepuff. Seamus always had people from other houses over. Harry wasn't sure how he did it, but wished he could. It wasn't that Harry wasn't involved with someone; it was just that no one knew. The extent of his sexual relationship was the odd grope in a broom closet when he could get away from his friends for a bit without being noticed. That had been going on for a month or two and Harry was getting the impression that his 'grope-buddy' was getting sick of being hidden. Harry wasn't ashamed, per se, but he didn't know how people would react and he didn't want to disappoint anyone.

Harry rolled over and tried to block out the sounds with his pillow. It didn't work at all. Seamus let out a cry and Harry squeezed his eyes shut.

"Oh Justin!"

How come it was so easy for Seamus to come out of the closet but so hard for Harry?

*~*~*

The next day found Harry in a broom cupboard on the second floor during a spare period for a quick snog. He stopped mid-grope when he was spoken to.

"Harry, I'm sick of closets," the boy said.

"W-what?"

"I'm sick of closets. I hate being hidden, Harry."

"But-"

"No, Harry," he interrupted. "I'm not the one in the closet. You are. I despise the closet, the real one and the metaphorical one. You are shoving me back in both of them. And I don't like it. I don't like that you're ashamed of me."

"I'm n-"

"Yes, you are, or at least you're ashamed of yourself. I know you, Harry. You don't want to disappoint anyone, and people will be disappointed if you come out. Especially, all the girls who wish you'd marry them. But you seem to care more about what they think than about being true to yourself," he said bitterly.

There was a pause in which Harry tried, unsuccessfully to think of something to say.

"I'm not the kind of person who will just sit in the background and be pushed aside forever, Harry. This has gone on long enough. So either you grow a set and tell everybody or you get yourself a new boyfriend."

"Look," Harry began.

"No, you look, Harry. I won't be treated like a guilty pleasure. I have a right to a boyfriend who will be seen with me." He was starting to sound angry.

"I know that. Can't we just talk about this first?"

"We don't have to talk about anything, Harry. You have to make a decision."

Harry stayed silent for what seemed like hours but was really only a few moments.

"But, I don't want to lose you."

"Then make it so that you don't have to." He paused and looked at Harry's pleading expression. "I don't want to lose you either, Harry. But I can't go on like this. It's your decision."

The door of the cupboard opened; the light blinding Harry momentarily. When he opened his eyes he was alone. Stepping out, he called to the figure halfway down the hallway.

"So are we over, then? That's it?"

"That's up to you, Harry. You have to choose."

The figure turned and walked down the rest of the corridor and rounded the corner.

Harry called out his name in despair.

"Draco."