A Lesson in Life and Magnets

A Lesson in Life and Magnets

Harry buried his face in his hands. Everyone had forsaken him. All for something he hadn't done. Not purposely, anyway. He looked down at his right arm in blind hatred.

The Dark Mark grinned evilly at him.

Harry hung his head in shame. Even Ron and Hermione hadn't believed that he didn't know how it got there - he had just woken up screaming one night and it had been imprinted upon him. Harry stood up. It was time.

Harry grabbed his wand and left the room. He walked quietly to the secret room he had found last month. He took his wand in his hand and stared at it for a moment. Slowly he brought it so that it was pointing at his heart. He took a deep breath. An incantation was already forming on his lip when someone spoke up behind him.

"You don't want to do this."

Harry opened his eyes. "Professor Lupin? How did you - "

"You underestimate the Marauders," Lupin said quietly. "I thought you'd be here tonight.

"How - "

"You are your father's son, Harry. He would always come here to think. He loved this picture." Lupin pointed to one of a beautiful green-eyed woman. "It reminded him of Lily."

"I - I - "

"I know what you were going to do, Harry," Lupin said calmly. "And I'm not stopping you. I understand."

"You do?"

"Of course," Lupin said placidly. "Don't you think I ever tried it? I'm not perfect, you know."

"You tried to - "

"And I would have," Lupin said. "Had it not been for James. That is how we met, you see. I - I was about to jump off the Astronomy Tower." Lupin shuddered. "When your father came up to me and told me what a huge mistake I was making, and that no one deserved to die. He taught me an important thing that night. It's not how others feel about you, it's about how you feel about yourself."

"And what if you hate yourself?" Harry snapped, growing angry. "What if you want to just end it all and spare everyone the pain?"

"You cannot hate yourself, Harry," Lupin said, looking over his spectacles. "It is like trying to push together like sides of a magnet. It won't work. The magnetic field won't allow it. Your dignity is like that magnetic field. Every person has dignity, and every magnet has a magnetic shield. How you come to believe you hate yourself is that you watch other people. If they hate you, you see that and take it seriously. You put power behind your deceitful belief that you hate yourself. And you use your energy with that hate. What happens, Harry, when two weak magnets with like poles are pushed together with great force?"

"They come together."

"Exactly. When you push yourself to death, only then your dignity is broken, because of what others think of you. Is that what you want, Harry? To have other people control your life and death?"

Harry was silent. "No," he said finally. "No. I want to control myself."

"Then let the magnetic shield be, Harry. Let it rest and let nature take its own course."

Harry smiled and turned to leave. Suddenly he turned around again. "Professor Lupin - you know why I almost lost my magnetic shield, but how did you almost lose yours?"

Lupin looked thoughtful. "The moon has a magnetic force of its own, Harry."

"Oh."

~Fini~