Butler in Britain

Chapter Six: Planned In Minutes, Fate in Curse

"Okay, let's say for a minute that you do buy some nice clothes," Rafael began, preparing for the kill of reality check, "and you enter Ginny's suite, declare you're a billionaire, win the part of the deal, and get the hell out of there, but you're still forgetting something."

"I was enjoying your whole scene, although I must suggest that you could add a little of 'Oh, Malfoy--you were right--you are a better person than me--hug me, hold me, by Merlin, kiss me you sexy, sexy hound dog' and a whole lot of barking after that, until you started saying but. I hate that word, but. Hehe, butt," Draco laughed.

"You do remember," continued Rafael, interrupting Draco's vile thoughts for a second, "that you're in charge of her Suite?"

Draco felt as if lightning just struck him, making the hairs at the back of his neck stand. He glared at Rafael, gave him his most famous smirk, and cried, "I don't like you."

"Don't blame me! We have less than ten minutes to get to work and then you come to us, all huffy, bombarding us with your tragic love affair!" Rafael whined out loud, panicking.

"What do I do? What do I do? I feel helpless, completely helpless!" Draco was now screaming.

"A potion!" Lloyd suggested.

"No! That would take months!" someone protested angrily.

"Someone to take over his place!"

"We all have to work, no one would be available!"

"A girl--a girl--"

"Diversion--distraction--"

"Ms. Nicole can jump around--"

"--a maid...something like that--"

"The hills! The hills!"

"--enter the room when she's not looking!"

"Sing her a song!"

"--wearing only a dishtowel--"

"Date her--poison her with your words--"

"I want an autograph!"

"Utterly helpless! I don't like it!"

"--enter the room naked and then she won't look!"

"--moaning softly in the background--"

"Stop it with your porn, Roberto!"

"Tell her someone's living in your--"

"A disguise!" Dennis Creevey hollered amidst all the chaos, making heads turn towards him. He was holding a Muggle magazine entitled as Cosmopolitan and looked as if he was concentrating on reading an article.

"A disguise?" Draco asked Creevey curiously.

"A disguise!" the four Jaramillo brothers exclaimed.

"A disguise that will turn you into a girl," Nikko explained, his eyes sparkling. "We'll get some maid uniforms from the girl's locker room, get you into the wig Ms. Nicole wears only on special occasions, and somehow hide those burly arms of yours!"

"But his face--his face!" Roberto brought up abruptly.

"His face--how to hide his face--"

"A mask! A mask like Zorro's!"

"Paper bag--cover his face with a paper bag!"

"Robes--cloaks that would make him look like an executioner!"

"Beat him into a pulp to make his face bloody!"

"A tan--get him into a tan--"

"No, burn him, especially his face!"

"Put his face in front of a rampaging Hippogriff--"

"Kiss him hard to erase his lips--"

"Get plastic surgery--"

"Drown him--"

"Behead him!"

"--and hope for the best--"

"Cut all his hair out!"

"--that a shark would come to bite his head--"

"Make-up!" Creevey announced once more, his head poking out of the same magazine.

"Make-up?" Draco asked, having no clue as to what make and up means.

"Make-up!" The four Jaramillo brothers shouted in unison.

"We can borrow make-up from the maid's headquarters, dress him up, and then put make-up on him! Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! Even the president of the Ministry won't recognize his face!" Nikko was now downright excited. Draco could tell due to his excessive dancing.

"Exceptional!" Rafael proclaimed, walking over to Creevey to give him a much needed hug. "Talented! Chic! Intelligent! Miraculous! Mind boggling! Where did you get all these ideas?"

"He was gay in his former life," Draco mumbled spitefully.

"I don't know," said Creevey, visibly confused at all the attention he was getting, "I was just reading words out loud. I was planning to shout 'sex' next. If I do, will you hug me again?"

Rafael blinked. "Nah, best you keep it to yourself."

"Told you he was gay," Draco persisted. "Look, I do not agree with this plan--there is no spiffing way you are going to turn me, Draco Malfoy, into a cross-dressing maid--"

Ignoring Draco, Rafael turned to his brothers and started giving out orders like a drill sergeant. "Roberto, you know most of the Beresford maids around here, and they've seen your face poking inside their locker rooms plenty of times, so once more wouldn't hurt. When you enter their room, try your best to insist that you stay among them, even if you're not having a grand time being pushed out. Grab on the door, on their hair, on their skirts, whatever--I don't care. Just try to take all of their attention. This would be enough time for Lloyd to sneak in and steal one uniform--make sure it's an old one, something they don't use anymore and thus won't miss. Nikko, you on the other hand, will take care of the make-up. Work your charm on Ms. Nicole and bring back lipstick, eye shadow, eye liner and all that crap. Don't forget the wig."

"And as for you?" Lloyd asked.

"I'll dress Draco up," he answered mischievously.

*.*

Draco's face was itching. He didn't like the mascara Rafael had applied so he tried hard to squirm away from his grasp. His futile attempts only resulted into a number of bruises in his arms, for try as he may, he couldn't escape from four evil, fat and little people.

The frilly skirt Lloyd successfully stole made him look like a prostitute who was pretending to be a naughty, naughty maid. His fat legs, which looked like two beer barrels, were sticking out of the dress. Due to his unshakable opinion about not shaving his legs, Roberto produced black stockings that only made him look like a trying hard--

"Cheap girl," Creevey suggested when he mentioned those facts to him inside the elevator.

"Well there's a nice way of putting it," Draco responded distractedly. He felt the eyes of men boring into him while they waited for the magical elevator to take them to the Weasley's floor. He tried hard to pull the skirt down, at least to reach his knees, but while he did, he noticed that the top of the dress was showing off his cleavage.

"Holy," Rafael exclaimed once he had stripped Draco's clothes off.

"What's the matter?" asked Draco, very aggravated. 'Holy' wasn't exactly the word he was looking for once someone saw every part of his body. It was rather insulting.

"Look at this, you guys." Rafael beckoned his brothers to gather around and stare at his bare chest, his eyes widening.

"Sure, call the whole damn world," Draco said venomously. "Why don't you tell Creevey to leave his damned magazine alone and stare as well?"

"Creevey, leave your damned magazine alone and stare as well," Roberto called out sarcastically.

Draco stared at Roberto with daggers shooting out of his eyes.

"Holy," Creevey muttered, his tone as same as Rafael's.

"Those are--" Lloyd uttered, speechless.

"--what a gigantic--" Nikko stuttered.

It was Roberto's turn to be amazed. "--A gargantuan pair of--"

Boobs. Yes, according to the four Jaramillo brothers, he had a bigger pair of boobs than the President of the Ministry, who was, prior to their knowledge, someone Draco knew and grew up with. He also knew that if news broke out about his boobs in comparison to the President's, who was Hermione Granger, she would be mortified and would order for his execution at once.

"Oh my," Creevey muttered beside him, as he saw Draco's momentary indecent exposure.

"It's not my fault my mother gave me these," Draco whispered back. He was just about to blame dear old Narcissa for not having normal male boobs when he saw Creevey still staring at a part of him no one was supposed to stare at, and noticed a slight drool coming out Creevey's lips.

"Creevey, by gods, stop that at once," Draco ordered, suddenly blaming himselffor insisting that Creevey be the only one who shall assist him to the Weasley's Suite. Maybe if the other EFLP were there, they would've protected him from the currently salivating partner in crime of his.

Draco gave Creevey the glare that sent Crabbe and Goyle scampering to the other side of the room, but Creevey still didn't stop. His eyes continued to glaze over the top part of him, and to make things worse, other people started looking curiously as well. Men, mostly.

"Sorry for staring but--" A loud gurgling from inside Creevey's mouth was heard.

Draco was about to tell him to stop joking around and start being serious for once, when suddenly, Draco had a horrifying answer as to why Creevey was acting strange once more.

"Creevey, it's me Draco," he whispered frantically, feeling disgusted and gay.
"Damn that short-term memory loss of yours--it's me! Don't stare at me like that! I'm a man for Merlin's sake!"

As soon as the elevator doors opened to the Suite's floor, Draco rushed out, keen to get away from Creevey's perverted gaze. He dashed towards the Suite, not caring to check the number of the room, and knocked anxiously.

Open up, Draco thought frantically, don't leave me with him!

After a few head-cracking hurls of fists to the door, it was opened by a sudden glare of red. Her hair curled up in the ends, and the redness of her hair reminded him of fresh tomatoes. She was wearing a tight red dress that clung to her skin. He could see the freckles on her shoulders for the dress was strapless, and how it stayed just before her chest was something Draco didn't know and didn't really care about. The dress was made of a silky material, and for a moment, Draco had a horrifying thought of placing his hands on her robes and feeling her skin underneath.

He shivered as soon as he felt the stinging curse that was now a stranger to him. It was the first pain in two days. Amazing and queer it is, for the curse to be stagnant when he wore Potter's clothes, drank an unknown potion, and cross-dressed into a maid, and for just one single thought, it suddenly sparked some interest.

"Hi, Ms. Weasley," he squeaked, having just recovered from his undignified thoughts and damned curse, "your wish is my command."

*.*

Ginny winced as soon as she heard the words being spoken from a true chambermaid's heart, for no one but a chambermaid would be able to deliver such a cheesy line as she just did.

"Oh hello," Ginny greeted her in what she hoped was a cheerful voice. A fine morning for the chambermaid, if her mistress started retching and vomiting in front of her, simply because she had struck her mistress with sheer terror by just staring at her face. "I was expecting a butler but I guess you'll do."

Ginny didn't even remember saying 'come in', but the chambermaid jumped inside her Suite and unexpectedly locked the door.

"Ummm..." Ginny stuttered, puzzled, "that wasn't really necessary."

"Believe me, it was," she insisted, her voice much, much deeper than before. Ginny noticed that she had rather fat legs, which were covered in black stockings, making her look like a -

Ginny shook her head involuntarily, scolding herself for even thinking of such things. She then began noticing that his shoulders were a little burly, that they were too muscular for a woman. Although, with her own freckled shoulder and sharp shoulder blades, who was she to complain?

"So," Ginny started, becoming aware of the chambermaid's uneasiness, "I just called to tell you that--"

A loud knock interrupted her.

Was it just her or did the maid look stricken with fear as soon as the first knock resounded inside the room? Shrugging, she ignored the maid's facial expression and opened the door, only to reveal a very joyful Dennis Creevey in a butler suit.

"Dennis! What a pleasant surprise!" she declared as she took his hand in a friendly manner and led him inside her room. "Did Harry send you?"

Instead of answering, Dennis's gaze went directly to the chambermaid, who immediately wilted under his stare. "I see you have met my friend, Ms. Weasley. Pray tell, isn't she amazing?"

"Amazing, yes," said Ginny reluctantly, and then lowering her voice into a whisper, "but don't you think she's a bit, you know--man-like?"

The maid cleared her throat loudly as if to announce her presence. "I have ears too, though I am too man-like."

"Oh, pardon me," said Ginny in a cheery tone, "it was rude of me to think of such. And your name is?"

The maid simply glared at her. "What?"

"Your name?" Ginny repeated.

"Dana," she said in an inaudible whisper.

"Excuse me?"

"Dana!" she now roared, loud and proud.

"Dana, that's a nice name," Ginny uttered for the sake of conversation. "If you please, can you kindly fix my bed sheets and wash the dishes in the kitchen? If I had free time, I would've done it all by myself in no time at all, but as you can see, I'm ready for out for I have a date in no less than five minutes."

"With whom?" Dana asked, in a somewhat offhanded way.

"Harry Potter," Ginny replied, with every hint of being swollen with pride etched in her voice.

"Oh no, really," said Dana in a monotonous tone.

"He won't come," Dennis suddenly announced.

Ginny immediately rounded on him like a cat ready to pounce on her prey. Her eyes glowed fiery before asking, "And why not?"

"He just called a while ago, when I was outside. He told me he needs to go away for some business trip I can't know about." Dennis said all this in a fast-paced tone, as if he didn't care at all about what Ginny felt.

"The Order," she whispered, disappointment weighing her down.

As soon as she said this, however, Dana dropped to her knees, grabbing unto her hair frantically. Her eyes were wide with fright and it was obvious that she was having a terrible migraine.

"What is it? What's wrong?" asked Ginny as she knelt down beside the trembling maid, hoping Dana could hear her.

*.*

The terrible pain started when Creevey told the Weasley that Potter couldn't come. First, it came as a slight twinge of pain, as if reminding him that yes, the curse was still inside him and the pain will come unbidden. But this slight twinge evolved into a massive spasm that nearly cracked his head apart when he heard about Potter being busy with the Order.

It seemed as if the only solution was to break down on his knees and grab his head, trying to squeeze his flesh into numbness. He heard voices beside him but the pain was unbearable, too unbearable, and the more he did nothing about it, the more it increased in tremor.

What did I do? Draco asked himself blindly. I did nothing wrong! Stop doing this!

Breathing started getting harder for him, and he was afraid that soon he'd black out. But why? Why did this pain come out from nowhere?

He didn't do anything wrong...

And it struck him. Looking at the Weasley's torn face and Creevey's uncaring look, it struck him. He was doing something wrong, perhaps something that can alter fate--by not doing anything at all.

He knew it was crazy, but it was worth a shot.

"Potter can't come now," he choked out croakily, "but he will come later in the afternoon."

The pain dimmed a little, but it was still there. He looked up at Weasley and saw that her face brightened a little despite the fact that her chambermaid was perhaps choking to death.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"He told me that he'll try to come back as soon as possible," and though he lied, Draco didn't feel the pain increasing, but he can feel it slowly fading away, "and that you should go on wherever you're going and he'll be in your room first thing when you come back."

Finally, Draco felt normal. The pain was nowhere near what it was, but its sudden attack had made him feel weak. He saw Weasley hesitating before him, but when he ordered Creevey to escort her out, she was more than willing to oblige.

By the time Creevey had reappeared at her door, Draco had already concocted a plan.

"Creevey," he began, positive that he didn't want the curse to attack anymore, "how exactly did Potter contact you?"

*.*