What's Wrong with Hermione?

What's wrong with Hermione?

"Harry, Harry, Harry...my how you have grown," Professor Lockhart said.

"Hmm...have I, darling?"

"Oh come here and give your old professor a big hug!"

Harry ran to Lockhart and the two of them had a long embrace.

"Harry? Can I borrow your grass skirt?" Ron said behind them.

"No. Ludo Bagman has it. He is feeding it to Crookshanks," Harry replied.

Suddenly, clouds began to appear...Harry fell into a deep black hole.

Instantly, Harry woke up panting. It was all a dream. Harry was rather surprised, because usually his dreams have some point or message. This one was just plain...odd.

What was the dream trying to tell me? Harry thought. Do I like Lockhart? No! That's insane! No of course I don't...I think. No! I don't. Okay, other options. Maybe I am going to Hawaii. Is there going to be another Triwizard Tournament? I talked about Ludo in the dream, after all. Let's hope it's not...a Triwizard Tournament I mean, not a trip to Hawaii. Hmm...I could use a vacation.

Next to him, Ron grumbled as the alarm clock rang.

"Ron!" Harry yelled.

"I am not going to snog that spider!" Ron said in his sleep.

"Ron!" Harry yelled again. Harry began to grow rather impatient. "Time is money, Ron!"

"Exactly," Ron said. "And I have very little need of both!" Ron was clearly awake. He just didn't want to go to Potions that day because Professor Snape was planning to teach them how to belly-dance. Harry decided that the best option was to pour water all over Ron to wake him up.

Just before Harry poured the water on Ron, Hermione entered the room yelling, "Harry! I am in love!"

THUD!

The hard bucket and the contents inside it fell on Ron's head.

"OW!" Ron squealed. "You hurt my delicate head!"

"Yeah! And you destroyed all the remaining brain that he actually had," Hermione said back to Harry teasingly.

"Sorry Ron...wait Hermione. Who exactly are you in love with? If you tell me it's Malfoy, then you are going to get the same dose as Ron over here," Harry asked.

"Oh Harry! You should have known by now! I am in love with you, silly!"

"Excuse me?" Harry asked looking rather pink in the face.

"I love you so very, very, very, very, very, very, very ("Enough very's!" Ron yelled!) much!" Hermione said joyfully. Then Hermione did a pirouette in the air and began hopping up and down singing the song "Santa Claus is coming to town" at the top of the lungs.

"What do you think?" Ron said laughing.

"I think we have a very hyper bunny on our hands," Harry replied.

Hermione started spinning a bit more and singing a bit more.

Finally a tired looking Dean entered the room yelling, "Some people are trying to get their beauty sleep! Keep it down in here!"

They all stared at him.

"What?" Dean asked looking bewildered. "Is there something on my face? Oh my gosh! I have to get a bottle of lotion and some mascara quickly!" Dean left the room immediately.

There was an awkward silence and the shuffling of feet.

Finally Harry said, "Hermione...do you really mean that?"

Hermione started giggling and hopping around.

"D'you think it's a spell?" Ron asked looking at Hermione with an amused look on his face.

"Dunno. Maybe we can end it. What's that spell again? Oh yeah...Finite!"

The spell aimed towards Hermione, but just bounced off of her and hit the lamp.

"Reparo," Harry said pointing at the lamp. The lamp immediately reassembled itself to its original position.

"Hey! Maybe we can break into her mind and see what is going on," Ron added excitedly.

"No...it takes a more advanced wizard to do that. I am not skilled at Legilimency. I had enough of that last year with Snape," Harry put in shuddering.

"Well, let's at least take her to Madam Pomfrey and see if she can figure out what's wrong with Hermione."

"Good idea!"

The two boys took hold of Hermione with difficulty and managed to get her to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was cleaning out some sheets and pillows. She looked extremely disappointed to see them there.

"What have you done now, Potter?" Madam Pomfrey asked sighing.

"Nothing. It's just...Hermione has been acting odd today and we want you to take a look at her."

"What do you mean by odd?" Madam Pomfrey asked looking suspiciously at Harry and Ron.

"Well...she...ummm," Harry said hesitating. "She professed her love to me and then she started hopping around and just basically acting hyper."

"Aha! I know what's wrong with her, boys. She has been given a dose of love potion."

"What!" Harry and Ron asked incredulously.

"She has been given a love potion. The same thing happened with a patient I had a few years back. During the Yule Ball, Miss Clearwater drank a love potion thinking it was pumpkin juice. She fell in love with the first person she saw and that happened to be Mr. Ludo Bagman. She had the hots for Ludo Bagman for days and since that was a particularly strong love potion, she confessed her love for him and started getting rather hyper. I happened to have the antidote to that love potion and I sorted it out quickly, before Mr. Bagman sued her. Apparently, Mr. Flint liked her a lot and decided to brew a love potion for her, and by accident, he turned around just at the moment that Ms. Clearwater got the potion in her. Well, I have the antidote right here...oh dear..."

"What!" Ron exclaimed. "You can't fix her?"

"Oh heavens no! I just realized that my favorite soap opera is on right now. Ah well, I better hurry with the antidote."

Madam Pomfrey fed her the antidote and Hermione immediately snapped out of it.

"Thank heavens for Madam Pomfrey," Harry said gratefully.

"But who do you think brewed that love potion?" Ron asked.

Suddenly, Snape entered the dormitory.

"That would be my doing, Mr. Weasley."

They all stared at him.

"What? I loved her, so I brewed a love potion. Unfortunately, I pulled out a magazine right in front of her by accident and the boy-who-lived happened to be on the front cover. The first thing she saw was Potter," Snape said casually.

They all stared at him a bit more.

"I hate love potions," Snape muttered.

THE END