Another Turning Point

Confessions

(Draco's POV)

...I started talking, just saying everything that had been worrying me, all the stuff that made me hurt so bad.

"I can't deal with it all anymore, I can't. It's not just the dark stuff and knowing that at any moment I could be killed. The war could start at any time. My father has already gone, he's chosen my fate. Its not just the fact that I'm having to keep secrets from my family and my friends. Its not just having to keep up with school work, and having to seem normal to everybody when all I really want is to curl up and hide until its gone away. Its the combination of everything, its too much.

I want you to know Harry, that I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I've got it easy. My family may not be the nicest in the world but at least I have one. I may have to lie to my father, pretend I believe in what he stands for, and I have to tell my mother I'm happy when I'm not; but they do love me. You don't have anyone.

And you have to fight all the evil in the world single-handedly. You have people to help you do that, but when it comes down to it you're the one who has to do the actual fighting. It's you Harry. You're the one that will change the world."

He sat down on the table opposite me, and paused for a minute thinking. Then he answered me.

"But I'll die doing that Draco."

There was no emotion in his voice as he said it. He wasn't being melodramatic, he was simply stating a fact. He was resigned to the fact that this war would almost certainly be the end of him. There was hardly a pause before he carried on speaking.

"I know that now. I'm the one who has to destroy evil, and I'll die in the process but I need people around me, my friends, to make sure that I die fighting and that I don't give up. They need to make sure I don't die until after I fight, not before.

I'll save the world yes, but I wont change it. It's people like you who'll do that. Everyone who's left will have a part to play, but it's people like you who'll make the biggest difference. You can break the family tradition of being evil and you can be good. Others like you can too.

For years the Malfoys have been known as evil but its only because they were taught to believe that that was right. You have a chance to escape their expectations and you can fight for what you believe not what they want you to believe. It's up to you.

And you should tell them what you really think, what it is you want to fight for. They may not agree but at least you'll have been honest. And just remember that every time you see them could be the last. If Voldemort doesn't kill them the Ministry will take them for sure. And unless you speak out no-one will know that you didn't stand for their beliefs too. You could end up in Azkaban for the rest of your life if people don't realise you're fighting for the light."

I asked him how he knew I didn't support Voldemort, he shrugged and said he could just tell from looking at me.

"But if no one knows what you really stand form Draco you'll go to the Dementors alongside your parents.

Anyway; you're right, you do have it harder than me, all I have to do is give up my life, and as you've already pointed out, I don't have much to live for. What you have to do is harder; you've got to keep going. And in this godforsaken world, where you know you might die and the people you love are betraying each other and nothing's certain, its very hard to live. You've got to deal with the aftermath. People will die, people will have trials, innocent people will be locked up and guilty men will walk free. But you'll have to get through all that confusion and rebuild the world.

You have to live with yourself knowing you were a traitor. I'm lucky having no parents, there's no one I can let down, you have to betray them and that must be so very difficult. They gave you your life and what you do with it could very well take theirs away from them. That can't be easy. I have all the family I need, all my friends are my family and they know what's going to happen and they're fighting with me not against me.

If you crumble along with the world I'll never forgive myself. If you remain strong then the world will be strong with you. I want to be here with you, with everyone to make sure you're all ok, but I can't do that, I just have to hope you manage."

He paused and looked down he seemed nervous now, what he wanted to say must have been hard for him to do. Then he took a deep breath and looked up at me meeting my eye.

"I love you Draco Malfoy."