Father and Son

~Chapter 16~
Your Heart's Desire

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Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi
I show not your face but your heart's desire
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August, 2015

Draco walked through Diagon Alley. He was on the way to Ginny's Gyn-wizard and didn't quite know what he was going to face today. Being married to Ginny had always made his life take many surprising and unexpected turns. The first one had been to become a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He'd been hidden by the Order on Dumbledore's command, but after he fell in love with the youngest Weasley, which had been an unexpected turn in itself, he started to see what he had to fight for. He'd gone on the last mission with Potter and the others to destroy what was left of Voldemort's soul.

In between the fights of these dark years, Ginny had accidentally become pregnant. Two times in a row. He'd always joked that the Weasley genes had made her hyper-fertile and resistant against nearly every contraceptive.

All the more he was surprised when he learnt that Potter had had difficulties to impregnate her. And this was something that gave Draco a smug satisfaction. The great omnipotent Potter was all but that.

On the other hand, the thought kept popping into his head that Potter's possible impotence had made it possible for Ginny and Potter to have sex without him noticing. But there were things that didn't fit into this picture. Why did Ginny get conception potions? Her fertility had once caused two failures of the contraception spell.

He arrived at the Gyn-wizard. Taking in a deep breath he opened the door and found Ginny standing at the reception with Harry next to her. When Harry saw him he turned to Ginny. 'I'm going to check on Luna, all right?'

Then he looked meaningfully over her shoulder. She turned and stared at her husband in surprise.

'Gin...'

'You followed me! I don't believe it! You follow me around!' she accused him.

'I don't follow you around,' Draco said forcefully. 'I need to talk to you! Gin, I know what's going on here, okay? I know you're trying to become pregnant.'

'Who... who told you?' Ginny was completely taken aback.

'Can we...' He glanced at the receptionist. 'Can we talk somewhere private? Please?'

Ginny looked at him for a long time, contemplating what was going on. Then she turned to the receptionist.

'Could we have a room, for a few minutes?' she asked.

'Of course, Mrs Malfoy. Over there, number three is empty at the moment,' the receptionist said politely, although Draco could clearly see that she was disappointed that they didn't continue their drama in front of her.

While Ginny closed the door behind them, Draco looked around. His eyes remained at a poster of an unborn child in a woman's womb.

'I want to know what's going on here. You kept refusing to tell me, so I assumed the worst. I opened a letter of your Gyn-wizard, before you moved out...'

'You what? I... Draco, that's my mail! You can't just read it, you--'

'I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to know anything from your Gyn-wizard anymore after sixteen years where you always shared those things with me!'

Ginny opened her mouth but didn't say anything.

'You're right,' she admitted. 'It wasn't your fault. You couldn't know that I didn't want you to read it. After all, it has always concerned both of us.'

'I started to make enquiries after that. One of the receptionists gave me some information after I paid her, but it made everything worse. Ginny I don't know what to believe anymore. I guess you're cheating on me with Potter and now you want a child from him. But why? I don't understand. Did I... did I drive you into his arms? Are you still angry with me because of that incident in France? I don't understand it!'

'Yeah, you don't understand it, that's the whole point, you don't understand it,' Ginny said calmly, though stiffly.

'Then make me understand, for Merlin's sake!' Draco roared. He had lost his patience with her again. He tried hard to calm himself down.

'It's not about France or anything, it's about you not trusting me, and I tell you this for the umpteenth time now!' Ginny spat.

'You know exactly, why I didn't trust you. If you had gotten such a letter--'

'You could have asked me!'

'I didn't think you would tell me the truth!'

'No! You assumed that what I had already told you was a lie before you even asked!'

'You met with Potter! And you never told me until I found out by chance! You were hiding something. Don't give me this shit about overreacting and being jealous. I trusted you. I trusted you, even though I knew about those secret meetings. I always thought you just didn't think I was interested in it. But after the letter confirmed you were deliberately hiding something from me... Ginny, what did you expect me to do?'

He turned away from her, passing a hand through his hair and trying to calm down.

'To take this letter and come to me! You could have asked what this was all about. And I could have explained everything to you. I would have told you that I'm not cheating as I did when you accused me,' she said.

He turned around slowly and she could tell from his eyes what fear lay beneath the words of his next question.

'But now... you're with Potter, aren't you?'

Ginny gasped. 'Merlin... Draco, are you that dumb? Harry is married to Luna. She's here. Harry and I are not having an affair nor did we ever have one!'

'Then why are you here? Why did you let yourself get tested, why do you take potions to get pregnant? And why was this file saying that Potter has been shagging your head off for several months now?'

'As you can see, Malfoy, my head is still where it used to be!' Ginny snapped and went for the door. She expected him to follow her, so when he didn't she turned to see him sacked against a wall.

'Don't you dare to try this, Malfoy!' Ginny hissed.

Draco looked up at her and to his surprise he discovered tears glittering in her eyes.

'Don't make me out to be the mean wife who leaves her poor, desperate husband!'

'I'm just asking you to explain everything to me!' Draco barked. 'I may have cheated on you, but at least I explained everything. Gin, you can't expect me to trust you while I know you are hiding something from me! I don't know if another husband would trust his woman in such a situation, but I don't know what I'm supposed to think of this whole story. Perhaps Saint Potter understands why you're keeping secrets from me, but I don't! I think you can't expect me to have come to you with the letter, when you don't talk to me now. You can't accuse me to have not spoken openly with you, when you refuse to speak openly with me!'

'You know that this is not the point,' Ginny said.

'I don't care what the point is! I love you, Ginny, and I'll do everything you ask of me to save this marriage.'

'That's just so you! You always want me to tell you what to do! But you never do something yourself! The only things you came up with to save this marriage were blackmail and bribery!'

'Give me something to fight for. Tell me this marriage can be saved.'

'Do you ever risk losing a fight? Isn't our marriage worth to fight for without knowing the outcome? Without knowing you'll win?' Ginny looked at him intensely. Then she turned and left the room without looking back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Draco and Diana sat in the library. It was already dark outside and they were taking a late dinner between stacks of books about time-travelling and love potions. They ate in silence, each of them deeply consumed by the book they were reading. Diana looked up every now and then, but Draco pretended he didn't see her. Since this mysterious Cassius had shown up the other night, she kept sending him side-glances whenever she thought he didn't notice her. Draco felt strange in this world. On the one hand, he was completely startled by living in a time where no one talked or wasted a thought about the Dark Lord. It was as if he'd never existed.

On the other hand, he knew his grown-up self wasn't happier in this time. His thoughts wandered to his girlfriend. Had she already found out her son had taken his place? Had David taken his place like Draco had taken his? As much as he liked to see what daughters he had gotten, the thought of being able to see his son was much more thrilling. He'd gone through a few of David's personal things to get a hint of what his son was like.

'Draco?' Diana suddenly interrupted his thoughts.

He looked up from his book.

She opened her mouth and then closed it again, obviously hesitant about what she was going to say.

'Did you...you are a Death Eater, right?' she asked carefully.

'What did your father tell you about it?' Draco asked in return. He was surprised about this question, and now that he thought about it, he felt slightly awkward.

'Well ..." she said. "That he was a spy in Voldemort's ranks. And that we should read history books instead of asking.'

'It's already in history books? I didn't realize eighteen years were such a long time.'

Diana bit her lip.

'My mother does this every time she's contemplating something.' He smirked at her.

'Narcissa Malfoy?'

'Yes. Do you know her?' he asked, curiously.

'Not really,' Diana said evasively. 'We never met. But Mum told me once that I can tie my Dad around my little finger because I look like her in a way.'

'She was a Death Eater as well. But she never wanted me to join. I guess she'd realized the mistake she'd made in her youth and now didn't want me to repeat that.'

'But you still became a Death Eater?' Diana probed.

'Yes. My father raised me to be one of the Dark Lord's followers. I learned to hate Mudbloods and Muggles.'

'So how come you betrayed Voldemort?'

'I failed one of his missions,' Draco said slowly. He didn't look at her anymore. 'I was afraid of him. You can't imagine what it's like when you're always living with this fear of death. Voldemort was never merciful, not even to his followers. Dumbledore... do you know him?'

'Yes, of course. Albus Dumbledore, one of the greatest wizards of the last century and the only one the Dark Lord ever feared.'

'Dumbledore knew I was on the run, trying to escape Voldemort. He hid me in the Order of the Phoenix.'

'And there you met Mum?' Diana asked.

Draco nodded. 'By falling in love with her I found a reason to fight against Voldemort. I offered to become a spy in the Dark Lord's ranks.'

'Like Snape?' Diana asked.

'Yes. Is Snape still your teacher?' Draco asked curiously.

'He still teaches Potions at Hogwarts, though everyone knows...'

'...he's after the Defence against the Dark Arts Position...' Draco ended her sentence and they both smirked.

'He became our mentor. David's and mine. Amaris and Snape never got along when it came to holiday tutoring.'

Draco snorted.

'She seems to be very special,' Draco remarked.

Diana's lips immediately tightened and he had to smirk.

'I meant she's special for a Malfoy. She seems to have more of her mother than I assumed.'

'Dad always claims proudly that she's a Malfoy to the core,' Diana rolled her eyes. She was obviously annoyed. 'And David and I are supposed to have too much of mother's good heart and weaknesses.'

'Like being stubborn and fierce?' Draco asked, amused.

'Yeah,' Diana muttered.

'Amaris is very much a Malfoy. She's cunning, she never lets her feelings show in public, she has a certain pride on her family name...'

'And I don't?' Diana asked fiercely.

'Of course. The way you tricked your own father, that means the way you tricked me, is enough to have made even your grandfather proud. Although he would have disliked your reasons and the outcome of the trial, like your father. And he always disliked disobedience, at least when it came to obeying him.'

He looked sharply at Diana. 'But I don't think you should seek your grandfather's pride. Unlike your father - which is a strange thing to say - I think that the traits you inherited from your mother are not only weaknesses. And since I'm him, I'm sure he's realized that, too.'

'You mean, like Amaris choosing a half-blood-boyfriend?'

Draco looked at her surprised.

'She's dating a half-blood?' he repeated.

'The Captain of Gryffindor's Quidditch-team, Sky Dorringcourt.' Diana looked kind of smug, as if she had just grassed on her elder sister.

Draco laughed. 'In a way, you could say she inherited this from me, since I'm also mad about a certain Gryffindor and a bloodtraitor of the worst kind.'

To Diana's surprise he asked her, 'Do you like him?'

'Yes,' she admitted and at the same time felt guilty for wanting Draco to dislike her sister's choice. 'I like him when he's here over the holidays. He's not playing the Gryffindor.'

'Hardly. Nobody would in a Slytherin family,' Draco commented.

'But at school he's just insufferable!'

'Let me guess: Gryffindor is a hard enemy at Quidditch?'

'They always win. Not even Ravenclaw can compete with them.'

'What do you mean?' Draco asked, puzzled.

'Well, Ravenclaw and Slytherin are nearly equal. But Gryffindor's team consists of a lot of sixth and seventh years, so they have an advantage concerning experience and strength.'

'Do you play Quidditch?' Draco asked. Diana sounded far too interested in Quidditch for a girl and for not being on the team.

'David and I are Chasers. Sky is Seeker,' she explained.

'I'm also Seeker...'

'I know. Dad and Sky are always philosophizing about it when he's here.' She rolled her eyes again and smirked.

Suddenly her face got serious and Draco realized that she had focused on something outside the windows.

When he turned he saw a young man on a broom. He was tall, about their age, with short blond hair and had sharp features.

Diana immediately sprang up and rushed to the tall windows to open one of them.

The young man climbed in and with him a girl, who made Draco's brows furrow even deeper. She looked like the pictures of Bellatrix Lestrange before Azkaban. And to his surprise, he noticed that she was looking quite similar to Amaris which made him wonder why he hadn't already connected Amaris' appearance with the Black Family.

'Who are they?' Draco asked, staring coldly at them.

Diana realized that he had forgotten his role as David, and didn't know that David would have recognized their house-mates, so she quickly made up a fib about him.

'That's a cousin of mine, Darien.' She pointed at Draco and hoped Cassius would believe this badly made up lie. 'Of course he's not a direct cousin. Ask Amaris for his actual family status. Darien...' She turned towards Draco and hoped he'd play along, '...this is Cassius Clouth, I told you about him.' She stressed his name very clearly as to make sure that Draco would get her message. Her glaring was telling him very clearly not to intervene in anyway and leave the talking to her.

'And this is Malice,' she added without even looking at the other girl.

Cassius looked at him suspiciously, while Malice seemed rather amused. A cold smirk was playing around her lips, and her eyes scrutinized him.

'Darien Malfoy?' Cassius repeated. 'Is he one of us?' he asked Diana.

Diana bit her lip. 'He's a pure-blood,' she said, but she knew that Cassius had taken her prior hesitation as a 'no'.

'And who are you? Her boyfriend?' Draco snarled. He more than disliked the other boy.

'You're obviously not at Hogwarts or you would know who you are talking to.'

Draco snorted.

'What do you want?' he questioned, but looked at Diana.

'Her.' The blond boy nodded towards Diana. 'Are you ready, Di?'

'I'll fetch my trunk.'

'You won't!' Draco barked and Diana jumped, startled by his sudden anger.

But then her face became defiant.

'Good night, Darien,' she snarled and pulled out her wand. 'Petrificus Totalus!'

The spell had hit him, before Draco could even grasp for his wand.

'He'll give you away,' the Malice pointed out. Her voice was as cold and piercing as her eyes.

'They won't know where we are,' Cassius said. 'Come on, Di.'

Diana called one of the house-elves and ordered him to get her trunk from her rooms. The little creature reappeared within minutes.

'I still think we should Obliviate him,' the raven-haired girl protested and glared at Cassius. 'Better safe than sorry!'

'Don't waste your time; nobody's going to find us. After all, we won't be there for long.' Diana came towards the petrified Draco. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered. 'But I've got to go. Aunt Hermione wrote me today. She can help you. Trust her.'

'Diana!' Cassius called her harshly.

She gave Draco a kiss on his forehead.

'Bloody hell, all the Malfoys seem to look like twins!' Cassius snarled, watching the petrified boy. 'I could have sworn he's your brother. He looks exactly like David.'

Diana joined the two Slytherins at the open window. If she'd been less a Malfoy she might have blushed, but being Draco Malfoy's daughter she just said, 'Do you think so? I think David is much more handsome.'

Then she mounted Cassius' broom behind him and vanished into the night.

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When Draco left the Gyn-wizard's practice, he saw Harry waiting for him on the other side of the street. He came towards him. Draco didn't want to see anyone at the moment, least of all Potter.

'Malfoy, can we talk?'

'About what?'

'About your marriage, your wife and how I play into this. Isn't that what you want to know?'

'How do you know that Gin hasn't already told me everything?' Draco snarled.

'Because she forbade me under harsh death threats to tell you anything.'

'So you're ignoring her interdiction and risking your life to help your old arch-enemy, how heroic of you!' Draco mocked.

'I just want to see her happy again. I haven't seen a real smile on her face for weeks now. So either you struggle alone and keep annoying her more or you jump over your shadow and let me help you.'

Draco looked at the man with the still unruly hair and the green eyes. The old hatred between them had ceased over the years and had become a mutual ignoring of each other. Only Draco's jealousy had made this old rivalry flame up again.

'All right. I want to know what's going on.'

Harry nodded.

'Grimmauld Place,' he told Draco, and Disapparated.

Draco followed him after hesitating for a moment.

They arrived on Grimmauld Place in front of number twelve, the old house of the Black family. Harry entered the dusty, dimly-lit hall. Draco, behind him, wondered why Harry let the biggest heirloom of his late godfather decay. Obviously, nobody had been here since the days of the Second Wizarding War. The house looked even older and gloomier than it had then.

They climbed the stairs and Draco hoped they wouldn't crack beneath him. The creaking of the ancient steps would have woken up the dead.

'Would you call me happy?' Harry asked him seriously, entering one of the rooms on the first floor.

Draco said nothing in response.

He scrutinized the room. Nothing but something big under a blue rug stood here.

'I would,' Harry answered for him. 'I have a beautiful and loving wife. I've been married to her for over five years now, and I'm still in love with her as if I was reliving in our first days together. I have Potter Hall, a loving family in form of the Weasleys, I have true friends and a profession that I really like. And after all, I can already call myself happy because I'm still alive with my past and everything.'

Draco quirked and eyebrow at him. Harry pulled the rug down. A mirror with a golden frame appeared, glinting in the faint streaks of summer-sun that shone through the cracks of the window shutters. Draco read the inscription, but it made no sense to him.

'This is the Mirror of Erised,' Harry explained.

Draco stared at the mirror, fascinated, muttering, 'If you look into it, you can see...'

'... nothing more and nothing less than your heart's desire!' Harry finished his sentence.

He walked in front of the mirror while Draco stood aside, trying not to look into it.

'If the happiest wizard would look into it, he would see nothing but himself. But although I'm more than happy with my life, I still see something in it. When I looked at it with eleven, I saw my dead family standing behind me.'

'And now?'

'Another family, that I could never have had if Ginny wouldn't have offered...'

'...to be impregnated by you!' Draco concluded, furious.

'Luna was hit with a curse during the Second Wizarding War. She can't become pregnant. Her womb isn't able to hold the fertilized egg.'

'So it was true, what she said at the hearing.'

Harry nodded.

'By the way, I've got no idea how your children have managed to get your signature. When I signed it shortly before the hearing, your signature wasn't on it.'

Draco snorted.

'Bloody Slytherin scoundrels,' he muttered, but had to hide a smile.

'It may be an egoistic wish, especially because I have everything else to be a happy man. But when I look into this mirror I see myself standing on Platform 9¾ and a boy comes running towards me with open arms. Nobody asked you if you wanted to be a father! You became one by accident two times in a row. So I don't expect you to know what it's like to want to be a father. I want to start a family of my own.'

'I know what it's like,' Draco growled. 'Ginny and I decided to keep the children. I wouldn't have put Ginny through it, if she'd wanted an abortion, but I wanted the children. I wanted something that made us belong together even more.'
For a while they looked at each other.

'I can understand your wish, Potter.' He sighed. 'Why Ginny? And why in secret?'

'Ginny asked us to keep our silence. She told us she wanted to wait for a fitting moment to tell you.'

'She didn't tell me for months!'

'She thought you'd not agree on it, yet. And we told her that we'd accept that, but she didn't want to her any of it.'

'Is she... already impregnated?' Draco asked.

'They implanted a fertilized egg a few days ago, but she's not pregnant. Today we tried it again.'

'Implanted?' Draco asked.

'Yes. I didn't sleep with your wife. Never did. And we never seriously thought about that.'

'But... the file...'

'The file said that I slept with Luna. We were still hoping that someday it might work. It's making her mad by now, that she can't get a child.'

'What about adoption?'

Harry snorted. 'We wanted to adopt an orphan like me. But it's nearly impossible for wizards and witches to adopt a Muggle and there are only few wizarding orphans. And since I'm an Auror, and therefore have a life-threatening profession, I'm not qualified to adopt a child. They also didn't want us as parents because of my past.'

'That's ridiculous!'

'It really is.' Harry passed a hand through his hair, looking serious and desperate at the same time.

'Why did you ask Ginny? Why not Granger or one of the Weasleys?'

'Hermione is sterilized. And we didn't ask one of the Weasley's wives because Ginny already offered. Look Malfoy, it's not an easy process. Ginny's taking potions and is put under spells... we wouldn't have asked anyone, but a close friend.'

'It hasn't worked, has it?' Draco suddenly asked, sounding angry.

'Not, yet.'

'It only works for two witches in a thousand! Not even old Ludo Bagman would have bet on this! How often will you try it, till it works? A thousand times?'

'You want to know whether Luna and I would choose to impregnate Ginny by sex, right?'

'Why else would Ginny keep this a secret?'

Harry shook his head.

'You want to think that she'd betray you, don't you?'

'Why shouldn't I? I can't live without her, while she seems fine, every time I see her.'

'She's far from fine. But she was even more miserable over the last month of your marriage.'

'I always feared I'd lose her and now...'

'You don't trust her to love you, if you fear that,' Harry pointed out. 'At least that's what she thinks and what makes her miserable.'

'No. It's the other way around. I trust her. But I don't trust myself.'

'What do you see?' Harry suddenly asked and stepped aside.

Draco hesitated.

Then he looked into the depth of the magical Mirror of Erised.

'I'll fight,' he said, although it was not clear if he had spoken to himself or if he'd addressed Harry.

Or even someone inside the mirror.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi
I show not your face but your heart's desire
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