Jax Potion: Guaranteed To Free Your Mind

Plot Note: Drugs. This fic centers around drugs, and if it offends you, press the back button. This idea came to me since Harry has grown up around evil, doesn’t have friends, and never had a family. To many kids, drugs would be the escape from reality, and therefore I believe this could be a possible root for Harry to take. This story is not inspired by personal experience. It revolves around an important topic, and a serious one. I hope you won’t be too judgmental when it comes to the idea, but I stand by my belief that Harry could be like many others who resort to drugs.

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Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming / confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling / I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in

- Selections from Crawlin by Linkin Park

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Harry Potter woke up at five in the morning. This wasn’t any different than his usual day during this particular summer. He hated the Dursley's with all his heart. He had spent the summer trying to recover from the death of Cedric. It was his fault, he thought to himself. If I hadn’t let his take the cup with me, he would be alive. Alive. I am not alive, he pondered in his head as he tried to go to sleep. He was plagued with nightmares. Nightmares of that night when he helped Voldemort get a new body. He hated him more than anything. He had taken his parents away, he was the reason his godfather was an outlaw, he was the reason Harry was here, at the Dursley’s. A place where no one would ever want him, care for him, or even love him. He almost thought the Dursleys were right. He was scum. He didn’t deserve their ‘hospitality’ when he was a murderer. He had killed Cedric, he had let him die. Everyone thought that except his friends, Ron and Hermione. There were articles in the magazines saying how he had killed Cedric. Stories in the Daily Prophet said he was making up the stories of You-Know-Who and that he really killed the Hufflepuff Head Boy. Harry blamed himself for all of this.

His usual day consisted of waking up from another nightmare of ‘that night’ as he called it, and then he would try his best to go to sleep. It never worked. Then he would make his way downstairs and be forced to make breakfast, and then was given a few chores. He would do those chores, have lunch, and then he got another list of chores. He would do those, and then, he would have dinner. Not much, just the leftovers of the night before, and then he would be criticized on the way he did this, or the way he did that. He hated it. If he said something about it, he would be punished by Vernon. Simple as that. Although it wouldn’t be a normal, or even humanitarian punishment like other boys would get, being grounded or having to do some petty chores. Instead, he would be hit. Beaten because he talked back. Then he would make his way back to his tiny room, beaten and tired, and go to sleep. This was his usual day, and today would be no different.

But at least he would have tomorrow to look forward to. The Dursleys would be going to London for the day, and they had no one to watch Harry. They didn’t want Harry alone in the house, and so he would be going to London and was being dropped off at Diagon Alley.

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“Did you hear about what happened at Hogwarts?” A whispered voice asked another, as Harry walked into the Leaky Cauldron.

“I heard Harry Potter killed that Diggory boy...” the other man whispered back as Harry made his way back out. He knew people would talk about him. It was so unbelievable, but that was why it was perfect. Perfect for Voldemort and his death eaters. No one would ever believe Harry, and no one would be prepared for Voldemort’s return...

Harry made his way to the Quidditch store, which always cheered him up. But this time it didn’t. They had a new model, the Firebolt 2000, but it didn’t help. It only made him think of Sirius, and that he had placed Sirius in danger. He went to the book store looking for some spell books, and then went to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor for an ice-cream. He looked at the clock on the wall and noticed the time. He would have to be getting back in a few hours. He wandered around the narrow street and found the alley leading to Knockturn Alley, and he decided to go in. He had only gone there once, by accident, and Hagrid had pulled him out of there as fast as the half-giant could pull.

The alley was no different than he imagine it. A few people were passing from store to store, looking as if they had something important to do. He went into the store called, Boomslang Skin, Snake Skins, and Etc. It looked interesting enough. There were all sorts of potions and bottles lining the walls. He looked at some of the crazy names and saw unicorn blood, dragon liver, knotgrub and leeches. All sorts of strange equipment could be seen on the shelves. Harry saw many things he never even heard of. He picked up a bottle that named Kintersman Potion: Used to liquefy a person’s stomach. “That doesn’t sound quite nice,” he said to himself. He picked up another one that was called Jax Potion: Guaranteed to Free your mind... “Now that would be nice if it really worked...”

“But it does...” A voice behind him said. Harry assumed it the shop owner’s face he saw when he turned around. He didn’t gasp when he saw Harry’s face, it must have been to well hidden, he thought. “And it’s only a galleon. A very cheap price for something that works so well.”

Harry looked at the bottle again. A galleon, not to much money... he thought. What harm could it do? He bought the potion from the man and put the vial in his pocket. He walked around the alley a bit more and headed back to Diagon Alley. He had enough time to buy some new robes and some potion ingredients for his own stock. He was glad to get his school shopping done early. He left the alley back through the Leaky Cauldron and waited a few moments for the Dursley’s car to come.

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“Damn you Boy!” Vernon Dursley yelled at the top of his lungs. They had arrived home and Harry refused to do the chores in the rain.

“I am not going to work in the rain. Why don’t you tell that elephant of a son you have there to do it!” Harry yelled back. It was not the right thing to say. Dudley had, if it was at all possible, grown even more, and his weight was a bit of a sore subject in front of his aunt and uncle.

“How dare you! I have given you a home, food, and clothing. And you repay me with insults! I will not tolerate this when it is I who have given you everything!” His voice got even louder. As he finished, he took his hand back and swung at Harry, who was half the size of his uncle. The hand hit him right in the face, and he fell to the ground.

Harry just steamed at him. His glared so hard, that if it were possible, Vernon would have burned up within seconds. Harry got up from the floor, and said so slowly, “You have given me nothing.” And he walked away to his room. He closed the door and locked it shut, not wanting to see anyone. His face burned like the Cruciatus Curse. He closed his eyes, but the pain wouldn’t go away. As much as he hated to admit it, his uncle’s whack hurt that bad. He looked at his room, and his eyes fell upon the vial of Jax Potion.

“It can’t be all that bad.” He said to himself. He took of the top, and smelt the potion. “It doesn‘t smell bad..” It smelt like to a spring morning. He dipped his finger in it and tasted it. It tasted surprisingly good. He thought, What do I have to lose? I’m a punching bag for my uncle... He put his mouth to the top and drank the whole vial in three large gulps. He set the vial down, and felt a numbing sensations down his back. His head seemed to float, and he could no longer feel the pain in his face. “Oh...” he moaned. He felt great. He was in a perfect place, he couldn’t feel the pain he felt, he couldn’t feel the horrible pain in his heart that he felt everyday because of Cedric’s death. His eyes were forced closed... He felt in total bliss. His hands clenched together involuntarily... He didn’t know where he was, all he could see were clouds, and all he knew was that no one could hurt him here...

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Harry woke up feeling horrible once again, but this time it was much worse then before. He had jitters, he couldn‘t stop himself from shaking. It wasn‘t much, but it was still noticeable. He could barely remember what had happened to him the night before. He remembered a terrible pain, and then he remembered the smell of the potion and its wonderful taste. He never wanted to feel like this again... “the potion would change that... if only I could get more...” It was the most wonderful feeling he ever had in his life. He went downstairs, fearing to face his relatives after what had happened last night. When he arrived in the kitchen, his uncle had already left, but his aunt made sure Harry wasn’t missing any ranting and insults.

“You better be damn glad for what we put up with for up! Your uncle said that if you were to step out of line once more, he will personally take the day off and beat you. If you are smart, you won’t try anything.” She almost threw a piece of toast at him and left the kitchen.

After giving him a hateful look, Petunia got up. “I will be taking Dudley back to London for some more shopping.” She started to say. Harry had a sneaking suspicion that they had searched half of the city for some clothing that fit, and today they were going back to search the other half. “I can drop you off at that place of yours. I will not have you running around the house while I’m gone!”

Harry shrugged and went upstairs to get his money. He knew what he needed, and he was happy he had a chance to go back.

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The car ride was uneventful. Harry sat in the back, looking out the window, trying to avoid the hideous site of Dudley in a confined space. He hated seeing the image of Dudley's rolling fat hanging over the arm rest, it just sickened him. He got to the store at around noon, and he had been quite hungry.

He had a good lunch at the Leaky Cauldron and was glad that no one was there to comment behind his back, or he just hadn’t heard it. After he was done and had paid, he went to Knockturn Alley and back into the store where he had purchased the potion.

“Ah, back for more, are you?” The shopkeeper asked.

“Yes, you were right about it, it is great. How many vials do you have?” Harry asked. He was intent on buying a whole store’s worth, and he had more than enough money to do so.

“Hmmm, let me check. How many would you like?” He asked. He bent down into a small closet and pulled out a box of vials that were all the same colors.

“I have about... let me check... I have about 50 or so, more than enough. How many did you say you would like?” The man looked up from the box and to the boy.

“Can I have a discount if I buy the whole box?” Harry asked. He hoped the shop keeper didn’t think it was a joke. He had ever intention of buying the whole box, discount or not.

“Um, well, I guess I could give you some discount, seeing as how it’s such a large amount. Let’s see, I’ll give it to you for 35 galleons. This has been sitting here for ages.... Don‘t know what to do with it.” Harry knew it was expensive. He took out his bag of money and counted out 35 galleons. It was times like these, which hadn’t happened often, he wished that wizards realized that paper bills were so much handier. After counting out the galleons, he took the box and closed it. He had it nestled under his arm, and he was happy that he had it. Just thinking about it gave him a small feeling of what it had been to drink the Jax potion.

He stepped out of Knockturn Alley and ran into Hermione. “Harry! You didn’t tell me you would be here!” She almost yelled as she ran over to hug him.

“Well, it was last minute,” he told her, turning his head so only the left side could be seen. He could still feel a small amount of pain when he moved his lips. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” she said, slightly blushing, “I wanted to buy some of the school books early so I could get a bit ahead. OWL’s are coming up soon, and we need to start studying!” She said.

“Oh, well, I will start studying with Ron at the last minute. I don’t quite want to study right now.” He said. He tried not to sound too sad when saying his last sentence, but he couldn’t help it. He lowered his head, and she lowered herself and looked him in the face.

“You shouldn’t blame- what happened to your face?” She demanded. She took her hand to his chin and pulled it up.

He winced as she did this, and he responded, “Oh, I walked into a wall or something...” He trailed off.

“Walked? You mean you ran into it with the force of a freight train?” She badgered. “Harry, tell me the truth.”

“It’s nothing.” He said, turning his head once again.

“Harry, I’m worried about you. Will you let me know if something’s wrong? Please Harry?” He nodded, and then told her he would have to be going.

“Well Harry, please let me know if anything’s wrong. If not me, at least talk to Sirius, or Ron.” She said. He looked back at her, and wished he could tell her everything, about the abuse, about the drugs nestled under his arm, and he hated lying to her.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine... I have to go... the Dursleys should be here soon... bye.” He said as he waved and walked back to the entrance and went to find his aunt’s car with a screeching lady at the driving wheel and a whale in the passenger seat.

She followed the fleeting figure as he made his way quickly through the crowd. Her eyes never left him. A tear ran down her eye... “Why does it have to happen like this?” She knew something was wrong. She was going to write Sirius when she got back. He told her to write him if anything was wrong with Harry. And after a few seconds, he was gone.

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“So good...” he said to himself as he drank the vial of Jax in one gulp. The feeling started in his stomach, and spread through his chest and arms. He immediately forgot about the pain in his face, about the Dursleys, and the concerned look from Hermione. He set down the empty glass and fell onto the bed, feeling incredible happy about the intense feeling in his head. He floated away into happiness once again...