Summer Rain

Chapter 17

One week later Harry had still had not woken.

The doctors confirmed that Harry was 'out of the woods', but none of them were able to predict when he might wake up. His bruises were now turning a sickly yellow colour, and a lot of the small cuts had all but healed, and the larger ones were unlikely to scar (according to Harry's numerous doctors). He'd have distinct surgical scarring on his abdomen and knee, but Draco was just relieved that the cuts on Harry's face would leave no marks. One scar with plenty of history was enough, Draco felt. He wouldn't have cared if Harry's whole face was covered with scars, but it was time enough for Harry to be given a break, and Draco was grateful for small mercies.

Draco had spent every day of the past week at the hospital and stayed late into the evenings. When Draco found that he couldn't bear to be alone in Harry's apartment, Ron and Hermione had insisted he stay with them until Harry was released from hospital.

Draco had protested at first; he had intended to check into a hotel nearby the hospital but Harry's best friends would have none of it. Their guest room was comfy and Hermione tried her best to feed him well when he was there, but Draco was struggling. He was eternally grateful for their hospitality, but he found himself numb at any time he was out of Harry's presence.

Draco was a mess. He had little to no appetite, and was surviving a majority of the time on coffee. The wonderful meals Hermione tried to get him to eat either went barely touched, or ended up in the toilet shortly after.

Sleep was desperately needed, but whenever he climbed into the tiny single bed alone at Ron and Hermione's, it left him with time to think and he couldn't stop the barrage of thoughts that raced through his mind every night. He always seemed to fall into a restless sleep just hours before needing to be at the hospital again, and was woken abruptly in the morning by a repeating nightmare of Harry's life support machine flat-lining. This left him feeling no better than he was the night before, and he got up immediately fell into the vicious cycle again.

The thing that surprised everyone the most was that Draco had let his appearance wane. He kept himself clean and tidy, but didn't have the energy to keep up the well-groomed Draco Malfoy everyone was used to. His hair was dull and limp, lacking the usual softness and shine. His complexion was paler than normal, and he had dark smudges under his eyes. He just wore whatever clothes he grabbed each morning, which seemed to be a collection of Harry's old shirts and trousers. When Hermione asked him why he had taken to wearing Harry's things rather than his own, all Draco could offer was a noncommittal shrug. Hermione suspected it was a comfort thing and she was becoming concerned that Draco was falling into a deeper depression every day Harry failed to wake.

"I think it may already be deceased." Draco jumped at the voice behind him and he turned around. Remus was standing there with a bemused look on his face as he pointed to the uneaten tomato and cheese sandwich Draco had been stabbing absentmindedly with a fork. Draco dropped the fork and sat back in his chair with a sigh. He wasn't even sure why he picked up a fork when he bought the sandwich.

"Yeah," Draco replied and gathered up the sandwich in its wrapper from where it had been sitting on the edge of Harry's bed and shoved it back into the brown paper bag.

"Any change today?" Remus asked as he lowered himself into the chair next to Draco with a grunt. Remus hadn't been to the hospital for the past two days due to an untimely full moon, and still appeared to be recovering from his transformation.

"They said his vitals are all normal today," Draco muttered with a shrug. "Whatever the fuck that means. I don't bother asking anymore, they never give a straight answer. He looks the same to me today as he did yesterday when they told me his vitals were unstable."

"Ah." Remus nodded. "Draco, what would Harry say if he knew you weren't taking care of yourself?" Draco hung his head shamefully, more so that he wouldn't have to look at Remus. That comment alone told Draco how bad he must look. Draco thought back to Harry admonishing him for sitting out in the rain when he was sick and he allowed himself a small smile.

"He'd yell at me and tell me to stop being so fucking stupid," Draco admitted reluctantly. Remus made a sound of agreement. "Thing is, I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not going to be away from him any longer than necessary when he could wake up at any moment. What else can I possibly do to take care of myself?"

"You really need to try to eat and sleep better, Draco, otherwise you will end up in a bed here alongside Harry. We are all well aware of Harry's guilt complex, he's going to think it's his fault you are doing this to yourself," Remus pointed out.

"Fuck," Draco groaned and rubbed his face tiredly. "I'll try harder, I suppose." Remus pulled a small vial of potion from his pocket and handed it to Draco.

"This is a very mild sedative. It helps me sleep after my, er, monthly episodes." Remus stumbled over his words when he remembered they were surrounded by Muggles. "It's unique in that it's only effective if the body truly needs sleep."

"Will it make me sleep until my body doesn't think it needs sleep anymore?" Draco asked warily, imagining himself sleeping for a week straight under the potion's affects.

"No, no, not at all. You will sleep naturally, but you may need an alarm clock to wake," Remus advised and Draco nodded.

"Thanks, I appreciate it. It won't help me eat, but I suppose if I sleep a bit better, I might feel hungrier," Draco reasoned.

"There's something else I need to talk to you about," Remus said and Draco eyed him cautiously.

"I don't want the Weasleys here," Draco cut in quickly and Remus shook his head.

"You know I wouldn't ask that of you," Remus soothed. "But there is someone who wants to see Harry whom I'm not sure you would be comfortable with."

"Who?" Draco asked, though he suspected he could guess.

"Lucas. He got in touch with me a few days ago after his manager at work told him about Harry's accident. I have told him all about Harry's condition and he's worried and wants to see him. He was going to just turn up but he was worried how you might react, and he wouldn't be allowed into ICU without being with one of us." Remus watched Draco's reaction closely, but the blond kept his face guarded.

"I'm sorry, Remus, but I don't think I could handle that. I don't think Harry could either if he woke. I know he was with Harry for a long time, but they broke up under pretty messy circumstances, for which I still blame myself a little. It seems a little weird for me that he would want to come see Harry knowing I was here." Draco frowned.

"At this point, I don't think Lucas is particularly offended by your presence, Draco. He is just concerned about Harry, like we all are."

"You think I should let him come?" Draco questioned. Remus cleared his throat.

"I think it would be beneficial for Lucas," Remus admitted. "He could simply have turned up without a thought for your feelings, but he spoke to me first to find out how you would feel about him visiting Harry. He didn't need to do that." Draco heaved a deep sigh.

"Does he want Harry back?" Draco questioned reluctantly.

"He would be a fool not to. Harry's quite a catch, don't you think?" Remus smiled softly. "However, I believe Lucas is well aware Harry is off the market now. He's merely worried about Harry, which is heartening. I'd be concerned about his strength of character if he wasn't even the slightest bit upset about Harry's accident."

"Yeah, alright," Draco relented. "Whatever. I don't have the energy to give a shit, to be truthful."

"You don't need to be here, Draco. I'm happy to be present while Lucas visits with Harry," Remus offered.

"That would just be petulant of me." Draco shook his head. "I'll be here when he comes. Just give me ample warning, ok? That's all I ask."

o o o o o

Draco sat holding Harry's hand lightly as he listened to footsteps approaching the cubicle. He didn't even bother to turn around when the visitors entered the room.

"Thanks Remus, " Lucas murmured. Draco heard Remus's footsteps receding as he left them alone beside Harry. Draco reluctantly let go of Harry's hand and turned to Lucas.

They both stared at each other for a few moments. Draco had no intentions of speaking first. He had nothing to say to the man Harry dumped to take him back.

"Remus tells me you've been sitting here with him everyday," Lucas stated as he sat down in the chair next to Draco.

"Did you expect me to do any less?" Draco retorted.

"I didn't expect you to still be here at all, to be truthful," Lucas commented. Draco crossed his arms defensively.

"Lucky for me you're wrong." Draco smirked. Lucas gave Draco an even look before he stood up to stand next to Harry's bed. When he touched Harry's hand, Draco had to physically hold himself in the chair to stop him reaching out and reefing Lucas away from Harry.

"I don't know what he sees in you," Lucas spat. "You seem to be nothing but a pretty-boy snobby little bastard." Draco pursed his lips and exhaled sharply through his nose.

"Thank fuck Harry isn't looking through your eyes then." Draco glared at Lucas.

"He wouldn't have even been in that accident if you didn't come back!" Lucas turned and eyed Draco angrily.

"He wouldn't have stubbed his toe on my suitcase either, but none of us are Seers to predict every time Harry is going to get hurt!" Draco sneered. "Why does everyone insist on this overbearing urge to protect him all the time? He doesn't need twenty people trying to play mum and dad to him! He's a grown man who has faced horrors some of us only have nightmares about! He defeated..." Draco trailed off and bit his lip, not sure how much of Harry's past Lucas knew.

"I know about Voldemort," Lucas said lowly. "It's because of all that that he does need protecting!"

"No, it's because of all that that he just needs to be loved. You, Ron, Hermione, the Weasleys -- you all think he's a little boy who needs sheltering from the big bad wolf. Or perhaps it's the big bad Draco, hey?" Draco laughed harshly with a shake of his head. "Harry's litany of 'I'm fines' is his polite way of telling people to back off, that he's perfectly capable of handling things on his own. Why do you think he came back to me?" Lucas snorted.

"Because you're practically a supermodel and he has this complex with you that he feels he can't live properly without you," Lucas sniped. Draco shook his head in disbelief.

"Oh please, now I know that's just sour grapes. You are well aware Harry's not shallow enough to base his reasoning on something like looks," Draco sneered. "No, one of the reasons Harry and I work so well together is because he knows I'm not there to protect him. If anything, most of our early relationship consisted of him protecting me."

"I wasn't just with him to protect him either!" Lucas argued.

"Probably not, but it's an unconscious thing that Harry's loved ones seem to fall into. Maybe it's his small build, or his willingness to give into people to keep them happy, or maybe it's his talent of stumbling head first into dangerous situations. I have no clue, but that's beside the point. The point is that Harry doesn't want protecting," Draco finished.

"So, you're telling me you don't protect Harry?" Lucas accused with a curl of his lip.

"Not unless he wants me to." Draco replied. "Harry needs to be cared for and loved, and wants to care for and love someone in return. That's all. He spent a majority of his life being protected from one thing after another. He needs a partner, not a bodyguard."

"And of course, you must be the right person for the job, even though you walked out on him without even a goodbye note," Lucas growled.

"You are not, nor will you ever be, privy to the true reasons why I left Harry. I am not the slightest bit concerned whether you think I am suitable for Harry or not. The only thing that matters is Harry forgave me for what I did. I love him. I have always loved him and that is the reason why I am entitled to be the one who sits here day after day waiting for him to wake up," Draco said in a low, dangerous voice.

"You hurt him!" Lucas cried, floundering for things to say to Draco.

"Something of which I have to live with for the rest of my life, and also something of which I have the rest of my life to make up for," Draco answered.

"How could you just waltz in after five years and rip Harry away from me?!" Lucas shouted, but backed down when he received an angry glare from the nurse in charge. "He only took you back because you were sick and he felt sorry for you!" he whispered harshly. Draco rubbed his temples and closed his eyes; he was starting to get a pounding headache.

"I do not have to explain myself to you," Draco replied bluntly. "Harry's choice to take me back was completely his own decision. I neither influenced nor coerced Harry's choice. After I explained the situation to him in its entirety, he was equipped to come to his own conclusion, which was that he wanted to give our relationship another chance."

"But you --" Lucas started to rant again.

"I believe you came here to visit Harry," Draco interrupted. "I'm not going to sit here and be accused of taking Harry away from you again. I have already been through numerous such arguments with Ron and Hermione. I am also not going to disrespect Harry by arguing with you at his bedside while he lies there seriously ill. Harry left you by free choice. I am here for Harry and Harry alone. I do not have to put up with being persecuted by Harry's ex-boyfriend simply because Harry chose me over you. I had nothing against you, Lucas. You were a prick to me from the start,"

"I --" Lucas went to protest.

"No, I understand what jealousy can do to people, so I don't blame you for being an arsehole. You had every right to feel threatened and defensive because Harry did end up coming back to me. But you need to move on and respect his decision. He didn't do this to hurt you, and once I realised he was with someone and you were a nice guy and appeared to care deeply for him, I certainly had no intentions to cause you grief. I was going to go again, and leave Harry to be with you. He realised that wasn't what he wanted, and you really need to accept it otherwise you will just upset him, and make yourself bitter in the process." Draco stood up and held out his hand to Lucas. "I'll leave you to visit with Harry. Thank you, for taking care of him and loving him for a year and half. For that, I will be forever indebted to you."

Lucas looked down at Draco's hand before gazing at Draco through narrowed eyes. After a moment of contemplation, Lucas took Draco's hand and shook it. Draco merely nodded at him and turned and walked away.