Summer Rain

Chapter 8

Lucas stepped back and let Harry in. He leaned in to give Harry a kiss but Harry stiffened involuntarily and turned his face away. He just couldn't shake the feeling that he was now betraying Draco by kissing Lucas.

"Oh, so it's like that, then," Lucas said bitterly. "The blond got the better of you, did he?" Harry glared at him.

"''The blond's name is Draco," Harry snapped.

"How could I forget?" Lucas sneered.

"You're being a fucking arsehole!" Harry exploded.

"I'm not the one inviting supermodel ex-boyfriends into my bed five years after they walked out on me!" Lucas retorted viciously.

"HE'S SICK!" Harry screamed in frustration and then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You better put a fucking silencing charm up right now before your snooty neighbours hear everything!" Lucas rolled his eyes, but withdrew his wand and did as Harry demanded.

"I'm not going to argue with you. I have to be at work this afternoon. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have five days straight without a shift," Lucas sniped petulantly and it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes. "If you've come to break things off, get it over with, would you? This is getting boring."

"BORING?!" Harry yelled. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUCKING BORING?!"

"Yes, I do," Lucas bit out. "I'm not stupid, Harry and I'd appreciate it if you didn't treat me as if I am. I saw how you looked at him, I heard you nearly call him 'baby', and I even fucking saw the picture of you two with your tongues down each others throats lying on your dining table, so I know you were looking at it. I don't want to be played the fool here. I've done nothing wrong. So, if you've come to call things off and tell me you're going back to your ex, then I'd appreciate it if you get it over with." Lucas folded his arms and gave Harry such an icy look that Harry didn't recognise. Lucas had never been so angry with him, and Harry was unnerved.

"Why are you being such a prick?!" Harry growled and started pacing.

"Oh for fuck sake!" Lucas threw up his hands in anger. "I don't believe you just asked me that! Because I don't want to sit here and listen to your plans to run off into the sunset with golden boy and live happily ever after! I don't want to hear anything about him! You're a selfish bastard, Harry! Just fuck off back to your boyfriend and LEAVE ME OUT OF IT!"

Hermione was right; Harry couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He swallowed thickly and felt tears prickle in his eyes. Despite wanting to look away, he kept eye contact with Lucas. He knew Lucas deserved such respect. He had loved and cared for Harry for a year and a half, no strings attached and Harry knew he owed Lucas more than he could ever give him.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Lucas," Harry whispered.

"Then why are you leaving me?!" Lucas asked desperately. "We're happy together, Harry! I thought you loved me! Why do you want to get back together with him?!"

"I don't know if Draco and I are going to get back together," Harry started honestly, "but, I'm not going to string you along while I decide what my feelings towards him are. I care for him very deeply, and feelings that I thought were long since dead and buried have been dredged to the surface. What I do know is that I need to be able to experience Draco again. I care for you, Lucas and I do love you, but Draco is part of me and I didn't realise how lost I was without him until he came back."

Lucas's face hardened while Harry wiped tears from his eyes. "Right," Lucas said in a low voice. "You should get back to him then. Good luck with you life, Harry. I hope he doesn't walk out on you and break your heart again. We all know he's quite capable." Lucas held out his hand to shake Harry's formally.

Harry bit his lip and choked back a sob. He looked down at Lucas's outstretched hand one more time before disapparating from Lucas's home with a loud crack.

o o o o o

Harry knocked loudly on the door to his apartment, too blinded by tears to struggle in his pocket for his keys. Hermione opened the door, ready to berate whoever was banging on it when she suddenly found herself with an armful of a sobbing Harry.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said in sympathy. She rubbed Harry's back soothingly. Draco sat up from where he was lying on the couch and watched the scene, horrified. Hermione led Harry over to the living room and sat him next to Draco, sensing closeness to Draco was what he needed, and she sat down on Harry's other side.

"What happened?" Draco croaked, warily. He put an awkward hand on Harry's back. He really wanted to wrap his arms around his beautiful Harry and never let go, but Harry had been rather hesitant and awkward last evening and during the morning and he didn't want to make Harry uncomfortable. So, Draco was genuinely shocked when Harry flung his arms around Draco and continued to sob miserably into Draco's shoulder.

Draco looked anxiously over Harry's head to Hermione, who just shook her head sadly. Draco just continued to hold Harry until eventually he could hear the tears subsiding.

"I... broke... up... with... him..." Harry hiccupped from where his head was bowed against Draco's chest. Harry kept his face hidden. He wasn't sure how Draco would take such news as he had clearly told Harry to stay with Lucas. He was relieved that Draco didn't seem to tense at Harry's declaration, and continued to rub Harry's back softly. Harry then realised that some tissues were being held in front of his face, so he reluctantly straightened up and pulled out of Draco's arms to blow his nose and wipe his eyes.

It was Draco holding the tissues and Harry smiled weakly at him. "How did Lucas take it, Harry?" Hermione asked, avoiding Draco's questioning gaze.

"He was so cold," Harry whispered and slumped down in his chair. Draco was still yet to say anything and Harry now felt strange talking about Lucas in front of him. Hermione looked between both Harry and Draco before standing, knowing that they had much to talk about.

"I better get going. I need to rescue Molly from Melody." Hermione smiled and kissed Harry's head.

"Molly loves it." Harry sniffled. "Talk to you soon?" Hermione nodded.

"Come over for dinner on Friday. We miss you, and Melody misses her godfather," Hermione insisted. "Bring a date..." Hermione's glanced at Draco who flushed lightly and looked down at his lap bashfully.

"I will, thanks Hermione. For everything," Harry said softly and Hermione waved his comment away dismissively before leaving.

After sitting in awkward silence for a few minutes, Harry turned in his seat to face Draco. "Do you want to talk about this...?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Only if you want to, babe," Draco answered in his dry, raspy voice.

"You won't puke at a crucial moment this time, will you?" Harry teased lightly and Draco chuckled.

"I'll try and give you ample warning," Draco smiled.

"Are you feeling any better?" Harry asked in concern as Draco certainly didn't look any better.

"A bit, I suppose," Draco replied and started coughing. "The cough's a bit better and I don't feel so hot."

"Oh, fuck!" Harry cursed and looked guiltily at Draco. "I forgot to get your cough drops. I was a bit... preoccupied. I'll go and get them now. I'm sorry!" Harry jumped up but Draco pulled him back down.

"It can wait," Draco insisted. "Did you break up with Lucas because of me?" Harry slumped back into the seat and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

"Partly. But I mainly broke up with him because of me," Harry explained. "I've been having feelings that are not fair to Lucas, and I didn't want to hurt him any longer."

"Harry, I never intended my return to cause you so much grief. Admittedly, I didn't even think through what my coming home would mean for you. It was selfish, but I really needed to see you again." Draco looked down at his hands and fiddled with his ring distractedly.

"I noticed you still wear your ring," Harry commented and smiled softly at Draco.

"It rarely leaves my finger," Draco admitted with a shrug. "In fact, when I first started my job over there, everyone thought I was married."

"What's Australia like?" Harry asked and shifted closer to Draco so their shoulders were touching. He'd asked the same question of Lucas at one time, but the only response he ever got was a shrug and 'just like here but hotter', so Harry had never pressed the subject. Draco always appreciated the beauty in things, and Harry wanted his opinion.

"It's beautiful. Everything seems so new and fresh over there. I was lucky enough to live in a rented apartment right on Sydney Harbour, with views of Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. Being so close to the water every day kept me sane; it's so soothing. You'd love it. Everything's very modern, and their weather is lovely." Draco smiled wistfully.

"You miss it," Harry noted.

"I couldn't not, Harry. It's a wonderful place and was my home for five years. I met some lovely people, made some wonderful friends and I do miss my job. I fortunately became quite successful quite quickly. Modelling was never something I considered and I guess you could say I was 'discovered' one night in a club. I told my agent to fuck off repeatedly before finally agreeing to get him off my back. Turns out, I quite enjoyed it. People actually gave me the time of day over there; I would get smiled at on the street by strangers and others would just strike up a conversation with me because they enjoyed talking to people. I was just Draco over there, not Lucius Malfoy's son," Draco replied.

"Then why did you come back?" Harry asked stupidly.

"You," Draco replied as he turned around and took Harry's hand. "It's always been you."

"Did you, um, date or anything over there?" Harry asked, which really equated to 'have you slept with anyone since me?' and they both knew it. Harry bit his lip, knowing he must sound like a jealous ex-boyfriend. He also knew Draco would be well entitled to not answer such an invasive question that Harry really had no right asking, but Harry just needed to know. He felt a bubble of jealousy inside him when he thought about Draco being with another man and he suddenly realised just what it was like for Draco to see Harry with Lucas and Harry felt horrible for it.

"A little and it was only for company really. I'd get pretty lonely sometimes. Also for sex, but not often. I had a couple of good friends that were more than happy to just have sex with no strings attached. I also got rather drunk one night and was seduced by a woman. It was quite an experience. Enough to know I don't ever want to be put in a situation like that again." Draco cleared his throat.

"Oh," Harry replied softly and looked away.

"It's not like that, babe." Draco chuckled. "That came out wrong, didn't it? I just managed to make myself sound like a right slut. When I say sex, I meant it was only once every couple of months or so. They'd know when I was brooding and needed a distraction. My job kept me busy, so mostly it was just me and my right hand." Draco smirked.

"So, there was never anything serious?"

"There's been no one since you," Draco sighed.

"Why Australia?" Harry's eyes flicked to Draco. "I don't get it. I could understand Europe, or maybe even America. But Australia? It just doesn't seem... you." Draco snorted.

"I wish I had a deep and meaningful explanation that would help take the sting out of my departure, but it was simply a fact of being the only place I could get a ticket to when I arrived at Heathrow Airport and it was the soonest flight to leave," Draco admitted sheepishly. Harry gave him a weird look. "I was a real mess that morning, Harry. Right after the confrontation with... well, those who threatened me... I apparated straight to Severus's. He advised me either stay with you and allow you to be manipulated, or leave and go as far away as possible so as not to cause you more hurt than necessary."

"You went to the other side of the world, Draco!" Harry exploded. "How could that not possibly cause me the maximum amount of hurt?!"

"Severus's reasoning was that the further I went, the least likely chance you would have of locating me and suffering the consequences of the threats anyway. He reminded me of how much I had already hurt you over the years. He told me that if I was going to leave, to go as far as possible to avoid the chance of you running into me and being hurt all over," Draco explained.

"I don't fucking get it," Harry muttered irritably.

"It's not so relevant anymore, babe. The point is, I was screwed up and the only solution I could see to protect you was to leave immediately and get as far away as possible." Draco scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "At the time it made so much sense. The minute I got off the plane in Sydney, I regretted my decision but could see no way out of it. I was completely alone and didn't even keep in touch with Severus."

"Why do you have only about a week's worth of clothing in your luggage?" Harry asked abruptly. He knew he was interrogating Draco, but he needed some answers. "You said you've come back permanently, but you lived over there for five years and must have a lot more belongings."

"You would think so, wouldn't you?" Draco said sadly. "I did have. I sold it or gave it all away when I decided to come back. I spent my last few months in Sydney completely obsessed with finding you again, and nothing anyone said could dissuade me from returning to England. I just woke up one morning with the worst case of homesickness and longing for you and it snowballed from there. I got more and more distracted and it finally came to the point that coming home to find you was my only option. I just realised I tried to hoodwink my feelings too long and needed to see you. My roommate in Sydney tried to convince me to put it all in storage, but I was pretty much set on coming back here for good with no foresight of returning to Sydney."

"No foresight?" Harry asked warily. "You mean you're having second thoughts about going back? Even though you professed to have returned for me?! I was not the Harry you expected to come back to, is that it?" Harry could feel himself getting annoyed.

"You need to stop jumping to conclusions, babe," Draco murmured tiredly and rubbed his eyes. "There are no second thoughts and you are as perfect as ever. I just hate myself for launching myself back into your life and destroying your relationship when you were obviously extremely reluctant to have me back. I also feel like complete and utter shit... and not just from the flu."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. This is the first time I've really let myself stop and think about the situation. Five years of emotions catching up with me, maybe?" Draco mused. "Maybe I just need a hug?" Draco laughed harshly. "Who would've thought, hey? A Malfoy needing a hug?" Draco seemed to be getting depressed and before Harry could decide just how to handle the situation Draco put his face into his hands and started crying.