Summer Rain

Chapter Four

Harry opened his front door and Lucas was standing there looking sheepishly at Harry. "I know you wanted to be left alone, but I just wanted to make sure you were ok." Lucas leaned in and gave Harry a kiss. Harry stiffened and he glanced quickly at his closed bedroom door. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Harry thought to himself but smiled shakily at Lucas instead.

"Um, I'm not too bad..." Harry said hesitantly. "Listen, Luke, come in. There's something I need to tell you." Lucas's expression dropped but he stepped into the apartment anyway.

"What is it, Harry?"

"I'm not going to lie to you so I think you should know that Draco is here," Harry admitted. Lucas looked around frantically as if expecting Draco to materialize from the walls or something. Harry's apartment was small; the living area and kitchen were all one big room and could be seen entirely from where they were standing and its one bedroom led off to the side of the living area with a bathroom that could be reached via the living area or the bedroom.

"You ex? He's here? Where is he?" Lucas asked suspiciously, fearing the answer.

"He's in the bedroom, but it's not what you think," Harry said quickly as Lucas frowned -- something he rarely did. "He came over to return my jacket and to talk to me about last night. He wasn't well when he got here, and he passed out and hit his head on my floor, so I put him on the bed to wait until he woke up. When he came-to, he vomited and after that, I just..."

"Didn't have the heart to tell him to fuck off?" Lucas guessed.

"Well, yeah. He's really sick, Luke. He has a fever of 39.7 degrees and he's alone with no one to take care of him." Harry was trying to convince himself more than his boyfriend of Draco's presence, but managed to just sound like a whining child wanting to keep a lost puppy.

"I know you want me to be understanding about this, Harry, but I'm struggling here," Lucas said honestly. "Your ex -- you only ex, who happens to look like a supermodel -- pops up out of the blue after five years and conveniently passes out at your home and you have to put him into your bed to play nursemaid?"

"WHAT WAS I FUCKING SUPPOSED TO DO?!" Harry exploded.

"Calm down, honey. I just need you to look at this from my point of view for a moment." Lucas placed a soothing arm on Harry's shoulder but it only served to irritate Harry further.

"You don't believe me that he's ill? You just think he turned up here and I jumped right into bed with him for a long make-up fuck?" Harry sneered.

"I believe you, Harry. I'm just not comfortable with the situation."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Lucas!" Harry cried, "But lying in there is my ex boyfriend whom I loved very deeply when we were together, and whom I have known for many years. He is sick, and alone and has no one to even keep him company while he's not well, and I'm not going to turf him back to the fucking Hilton Hotel when I can, at the very least, take care of him until he's better!"

"You still have feelings for him," Lucas said sadly and plopped down into one of the dining chairs. "That's what I was worried about."

"Luke, Draco and I didn't break up like a normal couple. When he left, I was still very much in love with him and it took me a long time to get over it. He was my first serious boyfriend, and he was the one I lost my virginity to. So, yes, in some ways I'm always going to have feelings for him. But right now, I don't know exactly what those feelings are. Half of me wants to smack him in the face, but the other half wants to look after him and hear him out about why he left. Draco and I need to talk about what happened, even if it's just to help me close that chapter of my life. But to do this, it's going to mean that I have to spend time alone with him." Harry sighed and leaned down to hug Lucas from behind.

"So, you just expect me to sit around and wait until you sort your mind out and spend hours alone with him, and possibly even realise at the end of it all that you don't want me and you want him?" Lucas asked bitterly.

"No, I don't expect anything from you, Luke. I will understand entirely if you want to move on and wash your hands of me and my issues. But, if I don't deal with my past with Draco, part of me is always going to wonder about the what-ifs and it will end up eating me alive and you don't deserve that." Harry crossed to the kitchen and pulled out the bottle of orange juice and took a long gulp, more to give him something to do rather than standing there awkwardly.

"He's the reason you don't want to move in with me, isn't he?" Lucas murmured and Harry could see he was hurting. Harry hated this, but he didn't know anyway to avoid it. He cared for Lucas too much to lie to him.

"A little, but not directly. I've become used to fending for myself. The one time I gave myself entirely to someone else -- to Draco -- he left and took a lot of the better parts of me with him. My trust, my love, my ability to depend on others. It took me a long time to get a lot of that back, and I still struggle at times," Harry said honestly, putting the juice back and closing the fridge.

"He meant a lot to you, and hurt you dearly, Harry. How could you possibly want to hear what he has to say after all this time?" Lucas asked in confusion. Harry slid into the chair beside him and exhaled slowly, contemplating his answer.

"Because I feel I owe it to him. I don't know why, I can't explain it. But mine and Draco's relationship was always unusual. We were rivals for a long time before we became lovers and our relationship started during a really difficult time in my life and I think that makes us a lot more tolerant of each other now. I don't know, but this is just something I have to do." Harry ran his hand through his hair and looked up cautiously at his boyfriend.

"So, what golden tale did blondie spin to get you to give in like this?" Lucas sniped.

"Fucking hell, Lucas! Give it a rest!" Harry snapped. "If you must know, he's been living abroad and modelling for a living. Not that it makes an iota of difference to me wanting to hear why he left."

Lucas was scowling down at his hands and biting on his lower lip. "Fine. Ok, Harry. I'll leave you to sort your issues out with Draco. I might head up to Edinburgh for a few days or something."

"Do you, um, want to meet him?" Harry asked tentatively, knowing the request was stupid before it even finished leaving his mouth. His defensive side wanted Lucas to see for himself that Draco was sick and not lying in there naked and wanton.

"Not really, but I feel I should." Lucas screwed his nose up, but Harry ignored it.

"Ok, well, come through then." Harry stood and held his hand out to Lucas to help him up then led him into the bedroom by his hand.

Draco had fallen asleep; he was still propped up on the pillows with his head lolled to one side. One hand was in a loose fist and lying next to his head, and the other was splayed across his stomach. His mouth was slightly open and he was snoring those soft snores that Harry realised he was rather familiar with and it sent shivers down his spine.

Harry moved over to the bed but Lucas stayed near the door. "What happened to his head?" Lucas asked bluntly.

"I told you. He hit his head on the hard floor when he fainted," Harry explained. Harry leaned over Draco and gently shook his arm. "Draco... Draco, wake up..." Lucas strode over immediately and wrapped his arm tightly and possessively around Harry's waist.

Draco woke up quickly and started coughing again. Harry handed him the glass of water and Draco took a sip and smiled gratefully at Harry. "Thanks," Draco rasped, having now almost completely lost his voice.

"Draco, I just wanted you to meet my boyfriend, Lucas." Harry indicated to Lucas, who had effectively become a human-sized growth on Harry's side. "Lucas, this is Draco." Draco held out his hand and Lucas reluctantly shook it.

"Nice to meet you, Lucas," Draco croaked but still managed to sound gracious. "I'm sorry for being such a hassle for Harry, but he won't let me leave."

"Well, he always was a sucker for hopeless cases," Lucas said rudely before he could stop himself. Harry threw a glare at Lucas and tried to pull away from him, but Lucas was set on showing his possessiveness over Harry. Draco, to Harry's admiration, completely ignored Lucas's comment and continued to smile softly at him.

"Harry tells me you're from Sydney." Draco coughed and took another sip of water. "I've been living there for the past five years." Lucas's mouth dropped in surprise but he regained his composure

"Hmm, practically a native. That would've taken you there right after you walked out on Harry, then?" Lucas said flippantly. Harry knew Lucas was just trying to protect him, but he was finding his boyfriend's attitude annoying. Draco once again said nothing, but Harry saw his eyes flash angrily.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom," Draco said icily and got up retreated into the bathroom, closing the door a little more forcefully than necessary. Harry pulled abruptly away from Lucas and turned and glared at him.

"Why can't you make an effort? I am hoping that if everything goes well, Draco will stick around as my mate, but you are making things difficult for him!" Harry snapped.

"I don't think he wants to be just your mate, Harry," Lucas sniped. Harry flushed angrily but held himself back from saying something he would regret.

"I'm not going to discuss this with you right now. Draco is my guest, and you will respect him as such," Harry said firmly, "I'm not going to get into an argument with you while he is here."

"We wouldn't even be arguing if he wasn't here!" Lucas shouted.

"Well, he is here, and he has come back and I am going to hear him out whether I have your permission or not!" Harry fumed. Lucas folded his arms and looked away from Harry petulantly. Harry sighed and let Lucas sulk for a moment. He stepped over to the bathroom door and knocked softly and pressed his ear to the door. "Draco, are you ok in there?"

"I'll be out soon, Harry," Harry heard Draco say softly in his croaky voice.

"Are you being sick again?" Harry asked in concern and he heard Lucas smack his lips.

"Yes, but I'm fine, ok? I'll be out soon," Draco repeated. Harry turned around went over and hugged Lucas.

"Luke, I don't want to fight with you. I understand how this must be for you, but I need you to understand how it is for me, also," Harry murmured into Lucas's shoulder.

"I do, Harry. I'm sorry for being a shit, ok? I'm just really jealous and I'm scared I'm going to lose you." Lucas wanted reassurance, and Harry knew this, but Harry just couldn't reassure him at the moment. There was still that part of him that wanted Draco back and he didn't know if he could fight it.

Draco came out of the bathroom just then and lingered by the doorway as if not sure what he should do. It was obvious he'd heard them arguing and felt awkward. Harry hated how sick Draco looked and he felt another urge to reach out and hug him. "Um, seeing as you aren't letting me leave, Harry, do you mind if I take a shower? I'm all sweaty and sore."

"Sure, ba --" Harry caught himself before he used Draco's old pet name. Unfortunately, Draco didn't miss it and neither did Lucas. "There are clean towels on the rack in there." Draco nodded and went back into the bathroom.

"I'm going home, Harry. I've had enough. Call me when you want me... if you ever still do," Lucas said irritably and left the room swiftly before Harry could answer. Harry heard the front door slam moments later.