Save Yourself

Save Yourself, Chapter Twelve

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Later that day, I sat on my bed awaiting my dorm mates and unfortunately the schoolwork I had missed. My mind was still fluctuating between numb and spinning with unspoken thoughts, things I knew I should say but could never gather up the courage to say—or to do. Draco had stayed by my side the entire day as we wandered the halls. Each time we ran into a professor, he or she had gracefully sidestepped the two of us and not spoken a word, although I did notice on more than one occasion looks of sympathy shot my way.

It was unwelcome, to say the least.

Blaise was the first one to arrive; she shot a rather unbecoming smirk my way and headed off to her section of the dormitory, where she had secluded herself after the mutilating of her reputation during fourth year.

Millicent was next; in her arms, she carried two piles of assignments, for which I was suddenly extremely grateful. Without a word, she dumped my half onto the edge of my bed and shot me a sympathetic smile as she retreated to the opposite end of the dormitory from where Blaise sat.

Over the next few weeks, I put little to no effort into my schoolwork, nor did I intentionally socialize with anyone excluding Draco. I often stayed the night with him, much to Blaise and Millicent’s jealousy; he was the one thing I thought I could depend on, and therefore stuck to his side whenever possible.

Soon, Christmas holiday was fast approaching, and the realization I had nowhere to go slowly and painfully set in. As the holiday decorations routinely appeared in various corridors and the Great Hall, my mood grew bleaker and bleaker; Draco was due in the Malfoy Mansion in the afternoon of the 21st, and at that point in time, he was my only companion—at least, the only one who I believed I could trust.

It was when Professor Snape posted the list for students to sign up to stay when Draco finally realized what was going on. He was with me as I slowly walked up to the piece of parchment, quill in hand, ready to sign.

”What do you think you’re doing?” Draco’s voice sounded in an almost amused tone.

”Where do you expect me to spend Christmas?” I raised my eyebrow. “With my father?”

Draco shot me a grin as he rolled his eyes, taking his hands and touching my shoulders gently. “Of course not—I expected you to spend Christmas with me.”

My eyes widened slightly in surprise as he slowly pulled me away from the sheet, guiding me to the chair in which I had taken up residence, and sat me down on top of his lap. It wasn’t a new position; I had often read or slept with my legs dangling off the end of the cushy chair’s arm, his arm cradling and supporting my head and neck.

”But you’re going home to see your family for Christmas,” I pointed out in a rather obvious tone of voice. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Draco smiled and leaned down to kiss me on the forehead, a rare public show of affection. “You’re family, Pansy. In two years, you yourself will be a Malfoy, don’t forget. If my father hadn’t invited you to begin with, I would have insisted you come regardless.”

I looked up at the boy—no, the man—who had suddenly become the most selfless, wonderful thing in the universe, and leaned forward without warning to kiss him full on the lips.

”I love you,” he whispered quietly, away from the prying ears of the Slytherin Common Room. “Don’t you ever, ever forget that.”

”I love you too,” I sighed, closing my eyes as I relaxed into his arms once more. “And I will no matter what happens, you know that.”

”Yes, I do,” Draco said quietly, playing with a lock of my long dark hair. He was silent for a moment, the warmth of the crackling fire reaching our chair, and then he spoke once more. “Why do we have to wait until the end of school?”

”Wait for what?” I asked, slightly drowsy.

He continued to play with that single lock of my hair absentmindedly. “To get married.”

I opened my tired eyes and gazed up at his pale face, a smile flickering across my lips. “We’ve been able to since we first turned sixteen—and since we slept together. Haven’t you ever read the contract?”

Draco raised an eyebrow, “You mean there’s a clause that states when we sleep together, from that point on we could be married?”

”Of course,” I answered in a teasing tone. “In case something happens.”

”Like what?” he asked curiously.

”Such as little Malfoys running around a tad sooner than they should,” I explained patiently. “Although I highly doubt that would happen.”

”At least not for another few years,” Draco agreed. “But—do you think we should? I mean, you’d be able to live with my family and I instead of going back to your father, my parents wouldn’t think twice if they found us in bed together—instead, I think they’d be more shocked if we weren’t in the same bed, to be honest.”

I smiled at the thought of—for lack of better word—belonging to Draco and to be able to wake up to his almost angelic face each morning, as well as the thought of never having to see my father again. A warning bell instantly set off within the depths of my mind as I realized a possibility I had never before considered.

”Draco, you don’t plan on joining Voldemort, do you?”

He looked more than a little taken back at my abrupt question, but after a moment he slowly shook his head. “No, my father hasn’t put any pressure on me to do so and I see no reason why I should put myself in such a compromising situation—not too mention I don’t find groveling to a snake and getting trampled on physically and mentally every moment of every day appealing. Why do you ask?”

”My father’s a Death Eater,” I said slowly, my voice barely above a whisper. “You and I both know this. He also killed his wife and son—his male heir. I just want to make sure that didn’t happen to you and I, is all.”

”Completely understandable,” Draco sighed, kissing my forehead once more. “I will promise you, as long as my life or your life or the life of any of our children is not in danger, I will never become a Death Eater.”

”Thank you,” I said quietly, closing my eyes once again. “And yes, I think we should—as soon as possible.”

”Then it’s decided,” Draco said firmly. “Over Christmas it is.”