Why Love, When Love Only Dies

I wrote this in a bad, depressing mood, so, that might explain why it’s a little bit confusing at parts. Please don’t get discouraged though! Any personal comments can be e-mailed to me (look above!) or you can IM me, stargazer05710. Thanks for reading!

 

Why Love, When Love Only Dies

~Lailaith~

 

 

Ginny sat atop the large, dark rock that jutted out a few feet into the lake. The hot, early June sun beat down on her from the clear blue sky above, yet she didn’t feel the heat. She was cold as ice on the inside. She sat with her head in her hands, the tears silently moving down her face in a steady stream. It shouldn’t have happened. She could have stopped it. He would still be here if she had only moved. "Why him?" she whispered into her hands.

She didn’t expect to hear an answer.

"It wasn’t his time," the new arrival offered. The sound of his voice held a venom, the words meaning to sound gentle, yet in no way they could. He cursed himself for sounding so.

Ginny groaned, "What do you want, Malfoy?" He had witnessed it too. He hadn’t done anything. He might have changed his life, but he didn’t change his feelings.

"What everyone wants right now, Weasley. Time to think," he said, looming above her. He turned, facing back in the direction that he had come. "I may not have gotten along with him, but I never wished this on you," his voice, for the first time, softened, almost to a whisper, and he ran.

"What do yo…" she trailed off, seeing that Draco was gone. She hung her head once more, sobbing.

* * * * *

Six death eaters crowded around him. The seventh robed figure stepped forward, a wand clutched in his hand. The only unhooded member. Voldemort’s body was now completely recreated, yet the blood red eyes remained. They burned into his mind.

"Where is he, Draco?" The voice came from his left, his father. Draco only shook his head. For the longest time, he had kept it from his father, his change of ways. Who knew what would have happened if he hadn’t. Everyone could have been dead.

Voldemort stepped forward, causing Draco to move backwards, towards the open tower window. He could just end his life now, before Voldemort did. It would be so much less painful."WHERE IS THE BOY?" Voldemort hissed. Yet Draco still just shook his head.

Voldemort’s eyes closed. "Lucius," he called him forward.

"Of course, Master," Draco could now see his father’s eyes, shining clear, no hint of regret forming, his wand rising.

"Crucio!" he muttered, sending Draco into a spasm of pain. More than pain. Sheer torture. His body felt as if it were being ripped in five directions at once, the searing hot stabs like knives digging into his skin. It was endless. He screamed, and suddenly heard another voice.

"STOP!" The pain ceased for a moment, Draco’s breathing was now ragged and hard, he had fallen to the ground. He looked over to where the voice had come from. It was Harry. Shit. He cursed silently to himself. The fucking bastard had to come and find his fate by himself. How heroic.

"Harry, please," Draco realized the boy wasn’t alone. He saw it was Ginny, a small hand strongly gripping her the boy’s arm. Harry broke from the grasp. He walked towards the group.

"Your business is with me. Leave the others out of it," his voice came out, surprisingly calm.

Draco slowly stood, backing away from his father, towards the girl. He kept his eyes on Harry for a moment, then took Ginny by the upper arms, now locking his eyes with hers. He felt something stir in his heart, something that had been there since his third year at Hogwarts. He felt it whenever he looked at her.

"Go, Ginny," he whispered. She had never liked him. Undoubtedly due to the fact that to him, she was obsessed with Harry. She stood there, staring at him, shaking.

"You expect me to leave? I made him a promise, Draco," she said, hot tears coming to her eyes. "I vowed not to let anything happen to him if I could help it," she said.

Draco only gripped her arms harder. "There’s nothing you can do!" his voice was shockingly gentle. He didn’t understand it. His heart hammered in his chest as he abruptly released his grip. He shook his head, "No," he whispered, turning. "NO!" he screamed, taking out his wand. I won’t let it happen, he screamed at himself. Not to her. Yet, at that moment, Voldemort’s wand rose, aiming at Harry’s chest.

"It’s over, boy," he said. Harry just there, his own wand raised. Voldemort took a step forward, repeating the same movements that occurred only moments before. Harry’s back was to the open window. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Voldemort roared, the same moment three voices yelled, "MORTUUS!"

Ginny stood next to Draco and Harry, her wand aimed at Voldemort. It shouldn’t have killed him. They were supposed to have blocked it.

Draco stood, transfixed as the Killing Curse made it’s way through to Harry. The green light was blinding as it hit the boy, Harry screamed, the sound digging into Draco’s mind, a feeling of failure and defeat. Yet he heard another cry in the dark, Voldemort was shivering, shaking, dying. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Mortuus only stunned the victim, putting them in a deathlike state. Yet the three combined did more than what one could.

The Death Eaters fled, Voldemort’s body turning to dust, Harry on the ground, with Ginny next to him. Ginny.

Her face was ashen, yet no tears came. She sat, looking down at the lifeless body of the boy.

"Ginny," Draco whispered, placing a cold hand on her shoulder. She broke down, sobbing. He slid down the wall beside and she moved, clutching to Draco with the last ounces of strength she possessed, trying to hold on to the memory of The Boy Who Lived.

* * * * *

Draco’s Nibmus Two Thousand and One sped across the Quidditch Pitch, Draco mounted, trying not to break down inside. It had been a month since it happened. The students had expected to be sent home, but Dumbledore kept them at Hogwarts.

The boy flew through the air, reflecting on that night. He should had done something earlier. It wasn’t fair to Ginny. "I may not have gotten along with him, but I never wished this on you," His own voice echoed in his ears. Damn it, Draco. You don’t like Ginny. You can’t. She was infatuated with Harry. Was. Draco shook his head. How could he be like this?

For as long as he could remember, every girl had been after him. For a time, he had gone out with Pansy, but it just didn’t seem right. They only liked him for what he wasn’t. Someone he wasn’t. A Death Eater. Like his father. No one understood him, they saw his face and saw the future of Voldemort. Couldn’t people look past that? Draco Malfoy didn’t love. What was the point?

Draco laughed out loud. Death. Such a welcoming word. And he fell.

* * * * *

Ginny saw the fall rather than heard the scream. As a matter of fact, there was no scream. Her insides turned to ice. She knew it was Draco out there. She watched him from her perch on her rock. Fear gripped her as she ran to the pitch, horrified of what she’d find. She had already lost Harry, she wouldn’t lose someone else. Even if it was…

"Draco!" she cried, trying for a response. The boy was sprawled on the ground, as if asleep, not as if he had just fallen 40 feet. Ginny put two fingers on his neck, and found a pulse. She breathed a sigh of relief. She checked for broken bones, but only found bruises. "Oh, Draco," she sighed, looking down at him. She just sat there, staring at him, not realizing his eyes had opened, and they were looking directly into each other.

* * * * *

Draco silently cursed himself. He wasn’t supposed to wake up. Damned fool, I can’t even kill myself properly. His eyes opened, only to find himself looking into Ginny’s. She’s so beautiful, he found himself thinking. Damn you, Draco. She’s a Weasley! He instantly averted his eyes, but felt the heat rising in his face. He opened his mouth to speak, only the right comment didn’t come out. "You want something, Weasley?" he instantly regretted saying that. He never called her Weasley. That was reserved for her clod of a brother.

Her eyes flashed, "What the hell are you trying to pull, Draco?" she said, quietly, but her voice was extremely shaky.

That hit him.

"Possibly trying to put an end to something," he rose, and stood steadily, trying not to wince at the pain, "that should have ended before," and he turned to walk away.

"What?!" he heard Ginny stand up in the long grass. "Draco, what do you mean?"

Draco laughed, turning back to face her. "Can you honestly say your dense enough not to know that it should have been me? Harry shouldn’t have died. You don’t deserve that…" he stopped himself, realizing what he had said. For a brief moment, a look of fear crossed Ginny’s face. It passed as quickly as it came. He turned to leave again.

"Why, Draco?" she called after him. "Why you, and not him?" He stopped dead in his tracks, all the emotions he had ever known, came crawling up in him.

"That night, I wanted to die. I didn’t want to keep living a life that I knew wasn’t right. It was a lie. My whole fucking life is. He didn’t deserve to die. All he wanted was to rid the world of something evil. Why is it so damn hard for me to understand that?" Draco found there were tears running down his face. He was finally admitting to himself what he wouldn’t before.

"He should still be alive, and I should be dead," he finally turned, looking directly into her eyes. "Do you know how fucking hard it was to see you every day, knowing I couldn’t have you?" He stood, staring at her, willing her to say something. She didn’t. He turned on his heel and ran.

*

Ginny stood there, shocked. What the hell had just happened? How did he know…

* * * * *

It was midnight. Draco sat on the roof of the Astronomy Tower, thinking of what he had done earlier. Why was he so stupid. He shouldn’t have said it. He finally even told himself what he felt. But he couldn’t love her. He’d only lose her in the end.

"I didn’t love him like that, Draco," she said, quietly, moving up behind him. She didn’t sit down, but stood above him. "I couldn’t. I knew he didn’t feel the same way. He was like my big brother. When he died," her voice shook, "It was like loosing part of my family, part of me. Nothing can change that. But it shouldn’t have been you. It should never have to be you." She placed a hand on his shoulder. Ginny could feel his muscle tense beneath her touch.

She didn’t see the tears that were escaping down his face. Why was he like this now? He was afraid.

"I don’t let myself love, Ginny," he whispered. He felt her fingers clench on his shoulder. "I can’t handle loving someone, only to lose them. Why love, when love only dies?" he said, looking up at her.

Ginny kneeled before him, taking his face in her hands, forcing him to look into her own eyes, eyes that were flooded with tears. "Because for that time that you do have them to love, you know there’s nothing else you’d rather have. There’s nothing more that you need. And if it ends, you still hold onto that memory."

Draco stared, a look of blank recognition falling over his face. With one hand, he took hers, and he reached up with his other to gently hold Ginny’s face, brushing away the last of the tears with his thumb. He placed his hand that held hers on his heart, and looking into her eyes, "I love you, Ginny," he whispered, then leaned in to gently kiss her.

~fin~