Healing

Healing - Part Three

Harry sat quietly between Hermione and Ginny the next evening at dinner. It was the first appearance other than classes he made since being pulled from the Great Hall. The Gryffindor students were glad to see him, though rumors circulated like mad over what had caused him to step out from his seclusion. Harry still wasn't talking, but his presence among them was enough to conclude that whatever had happened, it was good.

Ron was at Quidditch practice, but Neville and Seamus Finnigan left a space for him right across from Harry. Dean was on the other side of Ginny, both Colin and Dennis Creevey surrounding Neville and Seamus. Lavender was close on Hermione's other side. Most of the other Gryffindors packed around the group, trying not to appear eager, but hoping that Harry would say something. Anything.

Hermione and Ginny had agreed that the best way to get Harry to come out of his shell was to treat him as normal as possible, which they did. It wasn't easy, however, because the rest of the school was hanging off every move they made. Students who normally didn't give Harry the time of day threw him curious glances and whispered amongst themselves. Hermione was more than annoyed and cut up her pork chop with a little extra umph! Why couldn't they just leave him be?

"Neville did very well in Potions today," Hermione said. The silent gawking was too much. "Professor Snape actually complimented him."

It was common knowledge that Neville did poorly in Potions class, not to mention that Snape complimenting anyone other than members of his Slytherin House was seldom heard of. With this little announcement his friends turned their eyes his way, and Neville's cheeks flew into a flush.

"He just said it was amazing I didn't manage to blow myself up, which he assumed I would considering the difficulty of the potion." Neville said softly, like it meant nothing.

Hermione looked like a rather proud parent. "Not only did he not manage to blow himself up, but he was one of the first to finish and Professor Snape's scowl clearly said he could find no fault in the potion."

This caused a light murmur of laughter among the group, who were more at ease. Feeling particularly daring, Ginny turned to Harry. "How did you do in Potions today, Harry?"

Eyes down cast, Harry fidgeted a little and kept quiet. They watched him a few seconds before Hermione shook her head and went for an apple. "It started to smoke a bit when it should have been boiling, but a pinch of Ashwinder egg and it turned out rather splendid."

"Thanks to you, of course, Hermione," Dean added with a smirk.

Hermione blushed, but took a bite of her apple and studied the table top.

Colin, a Fifth Year, looked a bit mortified. "Sixth Year potions sounds awful. What were you making today?"

"A love potion," Neville piped in. "Professor Snape was very particular that none of us tried to sneak off a part of the potion. He said that the last thing Hogwarts needs is more hormonal driven, angst ridden teenagers running around trying to make other students fall in lust with them. He performed a spell on each of us before we were allowed to leave the dungeon, just to make sure." Neville paused, then looked over to Hermione with wide eyes, as if he had just remembered something amazing. "Hermione almost received a detention!"

"Neville!" Hermione squeaked, hiding her face in her hands.

Seamus, Dean, and Lavender were laughing, but Ginny, Colin, and Dennis looked a bit confused. "Did you try to sneak off some of the potion, Hermione," Dennis asked, even though he knew Hermione would never do such a thing.

"No," Hermione said in a whisper, thoroughly scandalized.

"Then why would Snape almost give her a detention," Ginny asked, wondering why in the world Dean and Seamus were laughing so hard. They were starting to draw attention from the other Houses.

"Well she wasn't trying to sneak any off, but Snape had to perform the spell SEVEN times! Thank Merlin the Slytherins had been the first in line and had already left, otherwise the whole school would know by now. Snape kept insisting that the results showed she had a high amount of the Potion somewhere but he couldn't figure out where! After the seventh try, he finally attempted to Accio the potion, but when nothing happened, he gave up. He said it was obvious she hadn't swallowed any, otherwise Ron or Harry, who were nearest, would have Hermione trailing them around the castle like a love sick puppy for the rest of term!"

Dean and Seamus were almost in the aisles, faces almost purple from laughter. Ginny gave Dean a sharp look and pulled him up straight by his ear. That quickly wiped the smile off his face, and it helped Seamus to control himself. Lavender was giving Hermione a sympathetic look; Hermione's face was so red it looked more like a Christmas bulb. Dennis and Colin were looking on in awe, and Neville appeared the tiniest bit sorry he had even brought it up.

"Hey," Ron said a few seconds later. He plopped down between Neville and Seamus and looked rather wind blown. His hair stood in a million directions, and he messed it up quickly before he went for the chicken right in front of him. "What's going on? Hey, Harry!" Ron nodded his head at his best friend and, in surprise, Harry gave a small nod back.

"We were just discussing classes," Hermione said, giving everyone a look that clearly said 'leave it alone'. "How was Quidditch practice?"

Ron responded while still chewing. "Oh you know, nothing to boast about, but it could have been worse. Kirke and his mate have improved loads since last season. I think Fred and George were sort of an inspiration for them; they were laughing madly as they flew down the pitch, saying something about a swamp and fireworks."

The antics of Ron and Ginny's older twin brothers from the previous year brought smiles to all their faces (except Harry's), and they were glad to hear that their Quidditch team wasn't too bad off.

"It's just bloody pathetic that we can't find a decent Seeker," Ron said with his mouth full of food, his eyes floating between Ginny and Harry. Ginny just glared back at him, but Harry remained quiet.

"I'm sure someone will turn up, eventually," Hermione said softly, giving Harry an odd look.

Ron missed it completely. "Someone better, otherwise Katie is making the team multi-task on the field. She refuses to forfeit and if the whole team can't be the Seeker, she's pulling Kirke from Beating. The spirit of Oliver Wood lives on." Ron watched Harry's face hopefully, but Harry did nothing. Ron looked disgusted and piled mashed potatoes on his plate.

"You know," Ginny finally sputtered out, a similar look of disgust on her face as on her brother's. "I'm right sick of you, Harry."

"Ginny," Hermione hissed through her teeth.

"Oh don't Ginny me, Hermione, I'm not the only one that feels this way. I'm tired of Harry pretending that we don't have feelings and aren't hurt by the fact that he won't even look at us. After everything we've been through, you'd think he'd realize enough to know that we are here to listen to him and help him, not be treated like a tin can in the dust bin." Ginny, in her huff, stood and grabbed Dean's cloak, pulling him up in the process. "When Harry decides to quit acting like a child and talk, we'll be in the Common Room."

Dean shrugged to his friends and then turned to follow his girlfriend out of the Great Hall. Seamus and Neville watched them leave, but the rest of the group was watching Harry very carefully.

Hermione was on the brink of tears. So much for Ginny's support. A hand rested over her mouth and she watched Harry patiently. What was he thinking?

When silence settled over them, Neville looked to Hermione, and then back to Harry. "Well Harry, she's right. We are your friends, and we really don't like being ignored. We understand that you've been through some rough times, and we can respect that, but...but we'd really like to know what those rough times were, and if there's anything we can do to help."

"Yeah, Harry," Colin added. "We just want to help." Casting a look at his younger brother, Colin and Dennis too got up and started to make their way out of the Great Hall. Dennis, not far from the group, could be heard whispering to his brother. "I wonder what Hermione did that got him to eat with us. Too bad it didn't get him to talk."

Ron glared after the brothers a moment, before he turned back to his food. He wasn't very hungry anymore. "I've got loads of homework to do. I think I'm going to go. See you in the Common Room, Hermione." He again nodded at Harry, but this time he got no response.

Neville looked a bit apologetic, but it wasn't long after that that he and Seamus also departed. Lavender had taken to talking with Parvati Patil and her other friends, which left Harry and Hermione alone at their section of the table.

The only person who seemed to be paying attention to them was Luna, who over from the Ravenclaw table moved her sad eyes from Hermione to Harry, and then diverted her attention all together. She had tried to talk to Harry after they left the Room of Requirement, but was ignored. Hermione had apologized that morning after breakfast. Luna said she understood, but would keep her distance for the time being. Harry needed space yet, and Luna would give it to him.

It all made Hermione terribly sad. She sat, half glad the group was gone and half wishing they would all come back. She had done all she could think of in the Room of Requirement the night before, and she had no idea where to go from there. He hadn't talked then, he wasn't talking now, and it appeared they had gotten no further than getting him to just be there. Suddenly, that wasn't enough anymore.

"Can you please pass the pumpkin pie?"

Hermione's head shot up out of her hands so fast, she thought her neck would snap. Had she been imagining things? Had Harry really just said something to her? When she looked at him, she was met with his green eyes looking straight into hers. For a brief second, her heart stopped. Harry was talking.

"Uh -" Hermione looked around the table and saw that, on the other side of her, was a pumpkin pie with one tiny piece missing. She wondered how long it had been there, because she hadn't noticed when she sat down or all through her meal. Now it seemed sort of ridiculous; the pie had been there the entire time if someone had taken a piece. At least Harry was paying attention to something.

Smiling to herself, she picked up the pie and passed it to Harry who seemed almost grateful for receiving it. He took a good portion, and with only a moment's hesitation, offered to scoop a piece out for Hermione.

"Of course Harry, I'd love some," she said as she watched Harry put a piece the same size as his on her plate. Filled with a new sense of hope, she carefully and slowly ate her portion, glad to be sharing this moment with Harry. Glad that, above all, Harry was seemed to be enjoying something also.

When they were finished, Hermione wiped at her mouth and turned to Harry with a little spark in her eyes. "Harry," she asked quietly. He looked up at her, and couldn't help but notice that her smile was wide. "Would you like to go on a walk around the lake?"

He contemplated this a moment, and when it was evident that Hermione wanted to take this walk very much, he nodded his head.

"Sure."

*****

Three times around the lake in silence. On the beginning of the fourth trip, when Harry had taken a keen interest in the surroundings, Hermione took a deep breath and spilled out everything she had bottled up in the past few weeks.

"Professor Dumbledore warned you might never truly recover from...from what happened to you this summer. I've been so scared, much more than I have been in the last five years."

Harry kept his eyes on the Forbidden Forest, but clearly heard every word Hermione said.

"Then when you kept yourself away from everyone, part of me felt like Professor Dumbledore was correct and that I, that we, had lost you."

Darkness passed through his eyes and his jaw tightened. Hermione watched it all, and when he remained silent, tears started to form in her eyes.

"I've no clue what to say, or do, and I feel so helpless. I've tried so hard to think of how I could help you, I've searched every book I could think of, and it was all useless. Why won't you talk to us, Harry? Why won't you even look me in the eyes?"

She tried to find his, but he kept them hidden behind his eyelids. He said nothing, did nothing, but continued to walk around the lake like they were taking a casual, evening stroll.

Hermione's last nerve had been hit. With a furry neither of them had ever seen out of her before, she went off like a bottle rocket.

"I don't understand, Harry! I don't understand one damn bit what happened this time to keep you so quiet and withdrawn. I don't understand why you won't talk to me, or even look at me. I don't understand what Voldemort did that made you decide to take it out on me!" Hermione stopped and curled her fists at her side. "I don't understand how this time was different than all the times before."

Harry stopped not two feet in front of her, aware she wasn't going to move until she got some sort of response. Slowly, he turned around and looked directly into her eyes, like she wanted. In his mind, her face was caked in blood and mud and she was floating to the bottom of the very lake they were beside...

Harry took a deep breath, straightened himself, and spoke. "Voldemort showed me exactly how he planned to torture everyone in my life after he got his hands on them. You try watching all of your friends being murdered a thousand times in the span of three days, over and over again without end, that hideous voice of his ringing in your ears. You do that, and then you'll know."

She remained silent for a moment, collected her thoughts and this sudden revelation, and processed it all together for her response.

"And what makes you think Voldemort will get anywhere near us? We're at Hogwarts and Professor Dumbledore is still here. After what happened at the Department of Ministry..."

"After what happened, Voldemort is going to stop at nothing to get his hands on me. He already had me captive this summer, and from the one place that I am supposed to be untouchable. If Voldemort can get me from Privet Drive, he can get me from anywhere. I'm just surprised he didn't do me in then," Harry said. His cheeks were a blaze, and he refused to look at her. More had been said then he meant to share. The unavoidable questions were sure to follow.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione looked up at him confused. She knew Voldemort had wanted to kill Harry since he was a baby, and yes she herself was surprised that Voldemort hadn't attempted to kill Harry over the summer, but what was this talk of being untouchable at the Dursleys?

Harry studied his feet for a moment and then shrugged. He wasn't nearly as worked up as before. "Did you ever wonder, out of all the places Dumbledore could have taken me, why he took me to my Muggle aunt and uncle's to be raised?"

The thought had crossed her mind a time or two, but she had never dwelled on it deeply. What had been done had been done, and she just accepted that and moved on to the present dangers. But now that she thought of it more, it did seem odd that one of the most powerful wizards in Britain would place an orphaned wizard who had defeated the Dark Lord in care of Muggle relatives that wanted nothing to do with their world. Very odd.

"It's because of a spell, or charm, that Professor Dumbledore placed around the house, and it works because Aunt Petunia is my Mum's blood sister. As long as I'm able to call it home, even if I'm there for only a short time once a year, Voldemort basically can't touch me. Or so I thought."

"I," Hermione said, then stopped. She looked like she was struggling with this information mightily. "I don't understand, Harry."

Harry ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't either, really. But it has to do with my Mum dying. Professor Dumbledore explained it to me. He said something about how when my Mum died, her love protected me from Voldemort, and because her and Aunt Petunia share the same blood, that that protection lingers. He said something about how living at Privet Drive was necessary because it kept me safe. Some load of rubbish that turned out to be."

"No," Hermione said, softly. Her head was shaking, her hand almost over her mouth. "It did keep you safe, Harry. You're not dead. He may have somehow been able to physically move you from Privet Drive, but if he were able to kill you, he would have done it. I don't know why he wants to kill you, but after all these years, I doubt he would have waited a minute longer, let alone three days."

It made sense. A load of sense, especially coming from Hermione. Why would he torture him for three days, and not just perform the killing curse when Harry was unconscious? He couldn't, because of the protection still around him. For the very first time in his life, for the smallest moment, Harry was glad he lived with his Aunt and Uncle.

Then Hermione's voice softly whispered in his head. I don't know why he's trying to kill you... He still hadn't told her, or anyone for that matter, about the Prophecy. As much as it pained him to even think about it, maybe now was the time to share. At least with Hermione.

"Hermione, do you remember the place I thought we would find Sirius," Harry asked quietly. For a moment, he had thought Hermione had died in the Department of Mysteries, and the pain he felt then still choked him from time to time.

Hermione nodded her head.

"Voldemort sent me there, because he was after a prophecy that was made about me and him. The only people who can touch it other than Ministry workers are the people that the prophecy is made about, and since Voldemort can't exactly just stroll in, he planted those dreams I had been having in my head, so I would go there."

She was silent, but obviously listening to every word said and those not said.

Harry took a nervous breath and carried on. "The Prophecy got smashed after...after you were hurt...and no one heard what it said. But Dumbledore knew what it said because...because he was the one that had been told the Prophecy in the first place." He purposely left at the part about their Divination professor being the one that said the prophecy, seeing as to how Hermione thought Trelawney was an old fraud.

Eyes wide, Hermione watched him fidget. This wasn't easy for her to hear, so she could only imagine how it was for him to say it.

"And...he showed it to me using his Pensive."

"Oh!" Hermione remarked, slightly enthralled with the idea of someone sharing their memories with someone else through a devise like that. Her eyes dimmed when she remembered that this was not something to be excited over. "What did the Prophecy say?"

Harry's darkest secret was about come to light, and he was reluctant to share. But with Hermione's encouraging looks and light hold on his arm, Harry found his courage and told her all that he could remember.

"That as the seventh month dies, the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord would be born, and he would mark him as his equal. And either most die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives." Harry was actually quiet surprised that saying it out loud sounded almost exactly like he had heard two months ago. Then again, he did have a lot of time to ponder over it.

Hermione muttered something to herself, then looked sharply upwards, her voice a mere whisper. "July thirty-first, the scar...oh, Harry!"

Tears ran freely from her eyes, and when Harry thought it impossible to look any more heartbroken than she did, Hermione threw her arms around his neck and buried her face against him.

"Oh Harry," she sobbed, clinging tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Uncomfortable, but not nearly as insensitive as his actions from the past few weeks might lead one to believe, Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist and held her just as tightly. Within a few seconds, it was much less awkward and actually felt nice. Warm.

Safe.

For how long they stood, just letting Hermione cry, neither knew. After a while, when Harry let a few of his own tears fall, Hermione pulled back and wiped at her eyes. His arms were still circled around her, and when she had calmed, she hugged him around his waist and laid her head on his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Her voice was shattered. She knew only too well what the Prophecy meant, and it was tearing her up inside.

Harry thought of Sirius. "I found out just after, after Sirius...died." It was the first time he said those words out loud. Instead of feeling the horrible pain surge through him like it had when he thought of it over the summer, there was just a sadness that stirred inside of him. He was always going to miss his godfather, and it was going to hurt, but he was okay.

He was healing.

"Harry you know that, that you're my best friend and that anytime you need anything, I'm here. You do, don't you? You're not going to have to fight him alone." Hermione looked up into his eyes, hers clouded in tears.

Harry nodded his head, but his words said something different altogether. "I'm not going to be responsible for any more deaths, Hermione. Especially not yours."

Shock registered on her features. "None of those incidents were your fault, Harry. Your parents chose to die so that you had a chance to live. There was no way of knowing about Cedric, and while running off to the Ministry might have been a bit reckless, Sirius' death is on that awful Lestrange woman's hands, not yours."

Harry dropped his hold and turned to start walking again. There was a mass of tumbling thoughts in his head, and standing there just might reduce him to tears again. Hermione caught back up to his side quickly.

"Don't walk away from me, Harry. We need to talk about this!" She was furious and she wasn't going back down from a fight, if that's what it was going to take. "All of last year you were upset, and now you've been acting like there's nothing left to live for."

"Is there anything left to live for," Harry asked, looking at her out of the corner of his eye to only look away again. "First it was my parents, then Cedric, and then Sirius. Before it's all over it's going to be you and Ron and...and I don't think I'll be able to handle that, Hermione. I know I won't be able to handle that. You two are the most important people in my life...."

"Then don't ignore us," Hermione interrupted him. She refused to be treated like everyone else in Harry's life because she had been there every step of the way since he had come to Hogwarts, and she planned on being there long after they left.

Harry took a staggering deep breath, on the verge of tears. He was shaking and it wasn't out of anger. It was nothing short of pure fear. "I have to! I have to make Voldemort think that you mean nothing to me, so that he won't touch you. It's exactly what he did with Sirius, and I won't put it past him to do it again. I have to ignore you Hermione, otherwise when I lose you, I won't ever be able to forgive myself."

He kept walking, like he somehow was going to get away from her, but it was impossible. In a flash, Hermione whipped out in front of him and the only choice he had was to stop. Her hands were firmly on her hips and her mouth was drawn in a thin line, much like Professor McGonagall when she was disappointed in Harry's behaviour.

"It's too late for that Harry. Even if you were to manage fooling Voldemort, there's always Malfoy."

Damn little ferret! Harry knew she was right. Draco Malfoy would never believe Harry stopped liking Ron and Hermione, and he would tell his Death Eater of a father anything he wanted to know. So how was he going to protect them? How was he going to ensure that out of everyone, they at least didn't get hurt just because of him?

"Stop it, Harry," Hermione said, tears on her cheeks but her fists still on her hips. "Stop driving yourself insane over this. Sirius said it and you know that it's true; some things are worth drying for. Ron and I were willing to do it when we thought Sirius was out to kill you, and we're willing to do it against Voldemort!"

Harry took three steps backwards, then four steps towards Hermione. When he was close enough that Hermione couldn't even see around his head, he dropped his voice and lowered his eyes. "I can't stop, Hermione. For as long as I live, I'm always going to do whatever I can to protect the people that I love. Even if I live to see a wizarding world post-a properly defeated Voldemort, I'm going to worry. I'm always going to love you, so I will never stop."

They stood in their heated silence, Hermione crying lightly and Harry staring hard into her eyes. A tingling sensation ran down his spine, but he ignored it. His anger sometimes did funny things to his body. Then he realized that it wasn't his anger. He realized that the tingling was from...Hermione. He hadn't felt this way around a girl since Cho...

Eyes wide, Harry stood up straight. Did he just put his former feelings for Cho in context with his current feelings for Hermione? When Hermione's hand lightly touched his shoulder, and the tingling thickened, he swallowed hard. He had. And for good reason. He had feelings for Hermione, and they weren't the kind of feelings he had for his other-best friend Ron.

In the same respect, these feelings for Hermione weren't the same as they had been for Cho. They were deeper, more mature. They weren't just tingles and awkward lurches in his stomach. They were in the very depths of his heart, staring back at him so plainly in her eyes.

It wasn't a crush. It was love. And not the love Harry had meant when he used the word a moment prior that could have been applied to Ron. Though Harry Potter had no experience with intimate love other than the sacrifice his mother had made, he knew that we he had inside of Hermione was nothing but.

"Harry?" Hermione said, her voice soft. She shook his arm gently.

Like waking from a dream, Harry took a hard look at her and then turned on his heel to walk away.

Hermione stood stunned for a moment, but then raced up the lawn after him, wondering where in the world he could be going. "Harry, what's wrong?"

"I can't talk, Hermione. I have to do something," Harry said over his shoulder, lengthening his strides towards the castle. It wasn't long before his pace was too fast for her, and when he reached the castle entrance, he tore up the stairs.

*****

"Can you see anything," Ron asked as he attempted to peer over the large bush he was hiding in. Ginny promptly pushed him back down, and he hit the ground with a thud. "Ow! Let me take a look, Ginny. They're my best friends!"

Ginny scowled, but did not budge. "Yes, and if I want to know what's actually going on out there, I need to look myself." She pulled the Omnioculars back up to her eyes and focused in on the pair stopped on the other side of the lake.

"They're talking and walking. Not too much that I can misinform you on, is there? Why are we spying on them again?" Ron ran a hand through his hair and narrowed his eyes on a rock. Ginny had pulled him out of the common room and forced him down to the side of the lake, all the time looking quite ruffled about something.

"We're not spying. We're being concerned about our friends and making sure they're both alright."

Ron didn't know whether or not to believe her, but he sat in silence and waited for something to happen. What, he didn't know, but he was waiting.

"Oh, oh!" Ginny squealed. "They're hugging. This is wonderful!"

"Really?" Ron tried to stand again, but again Ginny pushed him down. "Come on Ginny, they're on the other side of the lake. They can't hear me or see me."

Turning quickly, Ginny stared down at him with a dirty look. Ron sat back down and grumbled. "Alright, so I can be a bit loud sometimes. You don't have to rub it in. Hey, what happened in the Room of Requirement yesterday, anyway? Harry and Hermione didn't say anything after they came out, just walked to the common room and went to bed."

"Harry started crying," Ginny said. She stood on her tip toes on a large rock in the middle of the bush, and adjusted her Omnioculars again.

Ron's eyes were wide. "Cried? Harry cried? Why? What did Hermione do to him?"

"Hermione didn't do anything," Ginny stressed. "She was just trying to convince him that he needed to start the D.A. up again, and he started crying. She didn't know what to do, so she sat there and watched him until he finally stopped. They both got up to leave, and you know the story from there. And no, she didn't tell me anymore than that, so don't ask."

There seemed to be a piece missing from that story, but Ron didn't ask because he didn't want the bad side of Ginny's temper right then. After he contemplated this a few minutes, he went to speak, but never got a chance.

"Oh no, that bloody prat," Ginny said, shaking her head as her Omnioculars followed the movement of something.

Ron stood quickly, and this time Ginny didn't stop him. Peering over the bush (he didn't need a rock to do this) he saw two figures in the distance and one of them was running into the castle, the other only halfway from the lake. He couldn't make out more than that.

"What happened," Ron asked.

Ginny sighed and put down her Omnioculars. "Stupid prat ran off. Hermione's crying."

Ron's face hardened, and he made a move like he was going to walk through the bush. "I'm going to strangle him..."

"Ron, no!" Ginny pulled him back by the collar of his robes. "We can't let Hermione know that we were watching her. She won't like it a bit."

"So why did we then?"

"In case something like this happened," Ginny said as she broke through the back end of the bush and headed towards Hagrid's. "Which is exactly what I feared. Come on then, we've got to see Professor Dumbledore."

"Why," Ron asked as he followed Ginny to their previous hiding spot behind Hagrid's Hut. They checked to make sure the coast was clear and when Hermione was no where in sight, they headed back up to the castle.

"Because what Harry needs more now than ever is a father of sorts, to listen to him and to talk to him. And since Sirius is...gone, there's only one person that qualifies for the job."

"And that would be?"

"Oh Ron, sometimes I really do believe you're that thick. Lupin, of course."