Faith, Hope, and Love: Faith

Recovery

Kari opened her eyes and blinked slowly. The light above her was way too bright and she was in an unfamiliar bed. What the hell had happened to her?

"You used too much energy and fainted, of course," said a familiar voice. Kari looked down to see Shadow sitting on her stomach. His green eyes glowed even as he shook his head at her. "A repairing spell, a true Spelling, and a healing? What were you thinking?"

"I did what had to be done," Kari said, trying to sit up. Immediately, the room began to spin.

"Lie down," Shadow said sternly. Meekly, Kari obeyed. He glared at her. "You. Are. An. Idiot. You should've let him rot there. After everything he did...."

"He was innocent, Shadow," Kari said.

"Bullshit."

"LEAVE!" a new voice commanded. Shadow hissed as Dumbledore strode to the foot of Kari's bed. "You poison this place with your presence." Shadow spat out a string of German swearwords and insults directed at the headmaster.

"Shadow, return," Kari said weakly. She really didn't have enough strength to listen to them fight. Shadow let out one final insult and disappeared. She smiled weakly at Dumbledore, but turned away quickly when she saw his eyes blazing. "So, where is 'this place' exactly, headmaster?"

"St. Mungo's," he said absently. "Are you sure you can't get rid of him?" Kari shook her head.

"Please don't worry," she said. "I can control him."

"Yes, but what does it cost you?"

"Let's not go there. How's Sirius?"

"Up and about. The Ministry has him in a closed ward they are using for a temporary cell, but he seems to be fine," Dumbledore said. "And, how are you feeling?"

"Extremely tired," Kari admitted, trying to sit up again. "Why do they have him in a cell? I thought they'd accepted Harry's story. He should be free, right?"

"Unfortunately, the Ministry is loath to say that they were wrong," Dumbledore sighed. "Especially these days. Fudge doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize his position."

"And what did you tell them about me?"

"That you were innocent and had no idea what my scheming mind had in store for you when I took you to the Veil. And that you fainted when you realized just who you were saving. Don't worry, you're only the victim."

"So, why aren't you locked up too?" Kari couldn't help grinning. Dumbledore pretended to be insulted.

"Why, me? I simply believed another innocent student, the famous Harry Potter, and set about a turn of events to see justice done."

Kari giggled and mock-clapped. Dumbledore gave her a little bow.

"And they believed every word, didn't they."

"Of course!" Dumbledore exclaimed. He sobered quickly. "The real problem will be getting them to believe that Sirius is innocent. He's been an object of terror for the past few years."

"Please, don't get me involved," Kari begged. Dumbledore chuckled.

"No, you have done your share. At least for now."

Kari groaned. That didn't sound promising.

"For now, you can go home. I'm sure your parents will be happy to see you. Or would you like to visit Sirius first?" Kari shot a look the headmaster.

"I'd rather he didn't know about me at all," she said. Dumbledore sighed.

"You know, I think he has a right to know...."

"You promised."

Dumbledore sighed again and nodded. He stood up and left without saying another word so Kari could get dressed. As soon as her shirt was on, she felt Shadow jump onto her shoulder.

"He's trying to manipulate me."

"Of course he is. Did you just figure that out?"

"Oh, shut up," Kari muttered. A few minutes later, she was on her way back home. Where she belonged.

.....................

A month later, however, Kari found herself leaving it again. Thankfully, this time Mother and Father came to see her off to school. Last year, Mother hadn't been able to come because she had still been recovering from her chemo treatment. Today, she was here, fussing about Kari's clothes and whether she had packed enough socks to last her through the school year. Kari hoped so, she couldn't fit anything else into her trunk. But it was still nice to have Mother fussing over her.

"Oh dear, your collar is messed up again," Mother said, straightening Kari's shirt for the fourth time.

"Mum, I'm just going to put on my robes anyway," Kari said, though she couldn't help smiling.

"Oh dear, your robes! I forgot to iron them this morning. Did you remember to take them immediately out of the dryer?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Sweetheart, let the girl be. She's packed everything. You both went over it at least three times," Father said, coming over and putting his arm around Mother's waist. He smiled at Kari. "I put your trunk in a compartment with Miss Burkins."

"Thanks, Dad," Kari said.

Truth be told, Amanda Burkins wasn't one of her favorite people in the world and would probably end up talking her ear off... but at least Kari wouldn't have to make much conversation. She would, no doubt, have to answer all of the questions about why she had been able to come back after being expelled, but the cover story Dumbledore had given her would be enough to satisfy any of the little twitter-brains that called themselves her year-mates.

"Honey, where's Shadow?" Mother asked suddenly.

Kari picked up the wicker basket at her feet and held it up. Shadow wasn't actually in it (he'd refused to go in), but her mother didn't need to know that.

"Will he be alright in there?"

"He'll be fine. He's done it before," Kari said. Out of the corner of her eye, Kari saw a group come through the barrier at Platform 9 3/4. To her surprise, it was the Weasley family and none other than Harry Potter, who had dark circles under his eyes and looked like this was the last place he wanted to be.

"Friends of yours?" Mother asked, following her gaze.

"No, just house-mates," Kari said, absently. He wasn't doing too good. Kari wondered if something had happened. Had Dumbledore told him about Sirius? If so, something awful must've happened to Sirius, because, quite frankly, Harry looked like hell.

As she watched, Hermione Granger rushed up to the group to throw her arms around first Ron, and then Harry. Harry only greeted her hug half-heartedly, Kari noticed.

'Dumbledore's better tell him, quick. Something has to be done or he's going to sink into depression so deep no one will be able to fish him out,' Kari thought.

"Oh, that boy looks so sad, honey," Mother said. Kari turned to see her looking at Harry anxiously. 'Trust Mother's instincts to know something was wrong,' Kari thought wryly.

"He lost a close friend a couple of months ago, Mum," she said.

"Oh, dear. How horrible. What happened?"

'Oh gee, Mum. You remember that mad Dark Wizard you read about in that Daily Prophet I gave you? The one who nobody can say the name of? Well, he kinda doesn't like that boy, so he's trying to kill off all of his friends and just about anyone else who gets in his way. Oh! And guess what kind of wizard he hates the most? Mudbloods! Wizards who live with Muggles! Like me!'

Oh yeah. That would go over well. But Mother would probably also say that Kari should never run away from something she was afraid of. Mother was just like that. She believed a person's fears could be used to make them stronger. So telling her that there was an evil guy on the loose would only make her want to fight him with every ounce of strength she had.

Kari was smarter. She knew what these wizards could do. So she would keep to the shadows and only reveal as much as she had to without getting even more involved.

"I don't know all the details, Mum," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "All I know is that it happened last June."

"Poor thing," Mother said. "Kari, if you get he chance, maybe you could try to talk to him."

Yeah, right.

"I think he wants his space more right now, Mum."

"Honey, what people want is most likely the worst possible thing for them."

There were times when Mother sounded entirely too much like Professor Dumbledore.

"All right, Mum. If I get the chance, I'll try to help him. But really, I think his friends would be more suited for this kind of thing. I don't really know him all that well." 'Except that he's the Dark Lord's greatest enemy, has escaped death more times than I can count on one hand, and has a ton of power that's just waiting to be released...'

"Well, maybe you should try to be friends with him."

Kari sighed. There was no arguing with Mother when she was in one of her moods.

"Anne, darling, I think it's just about time for Kari to get on the train," Father said. The train whistled, as if on cue. "Looks like it. Give me a hug, sweetheart."

Kari ran to him and gave him a big hug. There were sometimes when their instincts as parents really scared her. She was half-convinced they had some magical power, but Shadow had assured her that he couldn't sense anything other than an extremely strong will in both of them.

She hoped that was the case. Father needed to be strong. The school years were always hard on him, since he was all alone with Mother and there was nothing he could do to stop her sickness. Mother's strong will had kept them all going, but she was getting weaker every day, no matter how much they denied it. Kari just hoped Mother would last long enough for her to leave school and become a Healer. Surely she could find a cure then.

She finished giving Father his hug and turned to Mother, who hugged her just as tightly.

"Remember, honey, we're only an owl away," she said.

"I know," Kari said, hugging her back. Suddenly, Mother leaned down and whispered.

"Never be afraid to do what's right, my love. And whenever you don't know what to do, pray about it. God will show you the way. I have faith in you, Kari." Mother pulled away and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thanks, Mum," Kari said, smiling. Mother's Catholic upbringing was always showing up in the weirdest places. Especially ever since she had found out her adopted daughter was a witch.

"Now, you'd better get going," Mother said, pulling her to the train.

Together, Mother and Father led her onto it. They were able to hug one more time, then the whistle sounded and the train lurched forward. Kari waved goodbye as the train picked up speed through the station. The last she saw of her parents they were standing together, one arm around each other and their other hands waving goodbye. Kari blew them a kiss just before they passed out of sight. Then, sighing, she went to go find the apartment with Amanda Burkins and her gaggle of giggling girls.

A compartment door opened on her right and two figures stepped out. Kari immediately moved aside to let them pass.

"We'll be back soon, okay, Harry?" Hermione Granger said anxiously, putting on her prefect's badge.

"Whatever," said a bored voice inside. Hermione looked like she wanted to say something else, but Ron Weasley pushed her away from the door.

"Just leave it, Hermione."

"He needs someone to talk to, Ron.... Oh, hello, Kari," she said, spotting the girl.

"Hello, Miss Granger," Kari replied politely.

She let them both pass as they whispered to each other. However, as she started to pass Harry's compartment, curiosity got the best of her and she peeked in. Harry was sitting in a corner, staring out the window morosely, his scruffy hair looking more wild than ever. He looked miserable. After a moment, he rubbed the scar on his head absently.

Kari left him. What could she do? She wasn't his friend, she hardly even knew about him! He was the Boy-Who-Lived, wasn't he? He could live through this! Besides, it was only a matter of time before Dumbledore told him the truth. He would be fine.

Kari made her way to the compartment that was already filled with laughing, chatting girls from her House. There was one seat left over. She could only assume it was meant for her. She sighed and opened the door. It was going to be a long ride.

"Kari! So the rumors are true! You got Dumbledore to let you come back! How'd you manage it?" Kari sighed again and sat down before telling her story.

...............................

After a very brief explanation, the other girls in the compartment soon had their minds on other things, like who the cutest boy in their year was. It was a discussion Kari had little interest in and she found herself wishing for someone sane to talk to. Seconds later, Shadow jumped onto her lap, purring.

"Oh, I've always loved that cat, Kari," sighed one of the other girls, reaching out to stroke him. "He's got such beautiful fur."

"And his eyes are so intelligent," added another, also stroking him. Shadow milked it for all it was worth, purring even louder and rubbing up against their hands.

'If you only knew,' Kari thought to herself. She and Shadow were soon surrounded by the group of girls again, who went back to chatting about boys as they petted the cat.

"Oi! Look at that owl! It looks like he wants to get in!" One of the girls cried, pointing out the window. Everyone turned to look. Sure enough, there was a small barn owl pecking at the window, a letter tied to his leg. One of the girls opened the window just long enough for the owl to get in and quickly shut it again.

To her surprise, the owl landed right on Kari's shoulder, causing Shadow to hiss at it. Bewildered, Kari took the letter from its outstretched leg and it quickly made use of the girl at the window, who again closed it as quickly as she opened it so it wouldn't disturb her hair.

Dear Miss Tomoe,

I trust this letter finds you well on your way back to Hogwarts. Your summer project is not going according to my original plan, so I must ask you to once again participate in assisting someone in dire need of help.

As you well know, Mr. Potter has not taken the 'death' of his godfather, Sirius Black, very well. I fear that, circumstances being as they are, I cannot tell him to the truth just yet. Those close to him have warned me that his depression has grown so much over the past few months that he could actually do himself some harm soon. I fear that, since I am part of the problem, I will not be able to help him to get past this event and look towards the future. Therefore, I must ask you, someone whom he will consider an outsider, to interfere once again. Please help him to get past these events so that he may grow stronger from the experience rather than expect miracles every time someone close to him is taken.

Also, he has never quite gotten the hang of Occulmency. In this case, it could work to our advantage.

I shall speak with you once again when you have arrived at Hogwarts. Thank you and good luck, Miss Tomoe.

Professor Albus Dumbledore

"What does it say, Kari?" one of the girls asked eagerly.

"It's from my mum, " Kari lied quickly. "A list of all the stuff I forgot. She'll be sending me a package tomorrow."

"Why not send it now?"

"She's a Muggle," Kari said airily, brushing the matter over as unimportant. "She probably still thinks she needs a postage stamp."

The pure-bloods and half-bloods in the compartment laughed while the other Muggle-borns agreed and started a new conversation about what their parents thought they were doing at Hogwarts all year. Kari excused herself quietly, leaving Shadow with them as a distraction. He winked at her, assuring her that he could keep them all occupied.

As soon as she closed the compartment door, she leaned against the wall across from it. Damn Dumbledore and his letters! All she wanted was to be left alone. She certainly didn't want to face a boy who was a couple of years ahead of her and a very powerful wizard in his own right. She knocked her head against the wall a couple of times.

This was not what she wanted. This was not what she wanted at all.

"Yes?" a voice asked. Kari flushed as she realized that she had knocked her head against the wall of another compartment. She turned around to apologize, but froze as soon as she saw who it was.

Cho Chang. And it looked like she had been crying for some time. A couple of her friends stood behind her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," Kari said. She stared at the sniffling girl. "Are you all right?"

"She'll be fine," snapped one of her friends.

"It's just that damn Harry Potter," another spat.

"Oh no, it isn't Harry you guys, really. I'm fine," Cho said, trying to usher them back into the compartment.

"You're a Gryffindor too, aren't you? Like Harry Potter?" one of her friends said, looking at Kari more closely.

"Fourth year," she said, with a weak smile. 'Oh goodie, now I'm being marked for being in the same House as him...'

"Well, you can tell him that he and that damn Granger girl...."

"Enough, let's go back in," Cho said sternly. They obeyed and she looked back at Kari. "Please, it's nothing really. I'm just.... Please don't tell Harry," she pleaded.

"Why would I? I hardly know him."

That seemed to satisfy Cho and she shut the compartment door behind her, leaving Kari alone in the corridor again. Kari leaned against the wall again, more quietly this time.

"Great. To tell him or not to tell him. That is the question."

"Awful question that it is, I thought you promised your mother you'd help him." Shadow climbed onto her shoulder.

"What happened to keeping the girls entertained?" Kari asked.

"One of them tried to pull my tail. I scratched and they got mad. So here I am. But I think I'm going to go up to the engine."

"Still trying to figure out how it works?"

"Maybe."

"If you make us crash, I'll never forgive you."

"I haven't been able to yet," Shadow said sullenly, jumping off her shoulder.

"Keep it that way," Kari called after him.

He just flicked his tail at her. Kari shook her head. For years, Shadow had been trying to discover what kind of magic kept the engine going, because the Hogwarts express never broke down, no matter what kind of mischief he did to it. It baffled him to no end and it made Kari laugh to see the frustration on his face whenever he came back. Besides, it wasn't just the engine he was interested in. Kari knew for a fact that the driver had an addiction to tuna fish and a fondness for cats. Shadow was incredibly greedy sometimes.

But back to her problem. As Shadow had just reminded her, she had made a promise to her mother to help Harry. And seeing Cho had just brought up another point. Harry had also been there when Cedric Diggory had died. But why wasn't Cho any better off than Harry was? She had had more time than he had. And she and Harry had been together last year, hadn't they? Surely they had been able to comfort each other....

"Shadow," Kari called softly. "Before you go...."

"What?" the cat appeared on her shoulders instantly.

"What's wrong with Cho?"

"She's mourning, what do you think?"

"But didn't she and Harry have time to mourn Cedric last year?"

"Hmph. You forget that Wonder-Boy is also a hormonal teenager. He wouldn't know how to comfort a sibling, much less a girl he was attracted to."

"Well, he never had siblings, Shadow."

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Of course I do."

"Then what else do you need?"

"I don't know," Kari mumbled, walking towards the compartment she had seen Harry in earlier. She had to help him, she knew that. Dumbledore asked her to and she had promised her mother she would do something if circumstances let her. This was the best opportunity she had ever seen. She looked back at Dumbledore's letter.

"...he has never quite gotten the hang of Occulmency..."

"Oh no. He doesn't want me to do Legilimency on him, does he?"

"It would appear so."

"Damn him."

She had learned Occulmency a few years ago, before she had come to Hogwarts. Nicolas Flamel had taught it to her, actually, telling her to guard her lips as well as her soul. Still, she didn't need everyone to know she could do something like that! People would start expecting things! Like better grades in Transfiguration!

"Do you have any better ideas?" Shadow asked as they reached Harry's compartment and peeked through the glass. Harry looked as pale as death itself, and he had a despairing smile on his face, as though he had just found the answer, but would sell his soul to find a different fate.

"What's he thinking about?" Kari asked Shadow. As a magical creature, Shadow had many abilities that wizards lacked.

"He's convincing himself that he can't love anybody because they will be targeted by the Dark Lord," Shadow said.

"Bullshit."

"He he. You sound like me. But you'd better find a good way to convince him of it," Shadow said with a smirk. Kari sighed. There really wasn't any choice. "I'd suggest making the compartment opaque and sound-proof as well," Shadow suggested. "It's still against the rules to do spells on fellow students on the train."

"Thanks," Kari muttered.

"Well, if you don't need me anymore, I'll be in the front."

"Can't you help me?"

"You promised I wouldn't have to, remember?"

"Oh right. Fine. I'll see you in Hogsmeade."

"Good luck, and remember to keep your cool. You're going to need it." Shadow disappeared once again.

"I know."

*********************

The ride back to Hogwarts was going slowly for Harry. He just stared out the window. Ron and Hermione were out patrolling the cars as prefects, but they hadn't said anything to him since they had gotten on the train, not that he could blame them.

Harry grimaced. He knew he wasn't exactly being sociable right now. That was his intention. Something had clicked inside him over the summer.

His parents had died because of a prophecy about him. Sirius had died because of his stupidity. Five other people on this train could've been killed because of him and were only saved because of some exceptionally good luck, as well as the skills of the Order of the Phoenix.

Dumbledore had been trying to protect him the whole year, and Harry had hated him for not being told what was going on. Why couldn't he have just kept his nose out of it? He was a walking disaster. That was why he couldn't be friendly right now. All of his friends were put into mortal danger just by being associated with him. How could he call himself a real friend if all he did was put others in jeopardy?

Harry sighed and looked out the window as more and more scenery went rushing past. Kids his age shouldn't have their own personal nemesis. How could he ever have friends, when he knew Voldemort would use them to get to him?

Again something clicked and Harry almost laughed. It was so easy. He couldn't. The prophecy couldn't have spelled it out better; "neither can live while the other survives." He couldn't live, couldn't have friends while Voldemort was still around. Great. All he had to do was kill off the world's most powerful wizard, and he could go back to being normal. Well, as normal as one could get in being a wizard.

'That's simple enough,' Harry thought. 'I'm sure Voldemort will just lie around and wait while I figure out how to use Avada Kedavra and then try to blast him with it. Besides, he survived it once, maybe it won't even work.'

It was hopeless. One of these days, the Dark Lord would find a way through Dumbledore's protections and Harry would be dead despite everyone's efforts to keep him alive. Maybe even more people would lose their lives in the struggle....

He felt a lump in his throat as he always did when he thought of Sirius. The look on his face when he'd passed through the Veil... he'd almost won.... Harry stopped his train of thought right there. He couldn't bear to think about that night, when everything had gone so wrong....

The compartment door opened. Harry looked up to see a small, red-haired girl standing in front of it, staring at him. At first, he thought it was Ginny, but he realized that she was shorter and slimmer. She also had a pair of bright, blue eyes that seemed to pierce into his brain. Had he seen her somewhere before?

The girl said nothing as she closed the door and moved towards him, or when she sat down across from him. But she continued to stare and Harry was somewhat reminded of Luna Lovegood. He looked away. Those bright eyes seemed to be searching for something, but he didn't know what. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the girl look towards the window with a longing expression before she turned back to him.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally, reaching into her robes. Harry was confused.

"Sorry for what?" he asked. She drew out a wand and pointed at him. He certainly wasn't prepared for this. He lunged for his own wand.

"This," she said and then mumbled something he couldn't hear.

Immediately, he was back in a place he had hated his whole life. Under the cupboard; the door was locking and Uncle Vernon was yelling that there was no such thing as magic.

'But there is,' Harry thought, fighting to get out of his own memory. 'There is, and you just didn't want me to know.'

As soon as he thought that, Harry was again spun away, this time to Dudley's fifth birthday. Dudley had just received a new bike and was riding it around and around while Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia looked on with pride shining in their eyes.

Harry's heart burned with jealousy. Uncle Vernon had already told him what he was getting for his birthday, so Harry wouldn't have anything to look forward to, as it was only Dudley's old sweater. And Dudley had gotten a new bike. Harry was so jealous....

'No!' Harry thought. 'That was then, this is now. Don't let your feelings get out of control!'

But he was still so jealous. Dudley always got everything he asked for. Why couldn't he, Harry, get something nice like that once in a while?

'I've got everything I asked for!' Harry thought desperately. 'I've got friends who care about me, the Weasleys are as good as family, and my Firebolt is much better than any old bike. I'm not jealous anymore!'

'Oh really?' a girl's voice whispered in his head. 'Do you really have everything you want?'

Instantly, more memory flashes began racing through his head. Malfoy teasing him about his scar, Snape docking Gryffindor points for Hermione answering too many questions, Tom Riddle's hateful look as he brought forth the basilisk to kill Harry, a swarm of dementors closing in on Sirius, Ron wanting to know how he had gotten his name into the Goblet of Fire, a flash of green and Cedric lying dead on the ground, Fudge calling him and Dumbledore crazy, Hermione's eyes filling with tears as he yelled at her, Umbridge's ugly hand trying to grab Sirius in the fire, Cho refusing to talk to him because of Marietta, Hermione falling to the floor with a flash of purple light, Ron trying to fight off a brain attached to his arm, Sirius falling, falling with an astonished look on his face, never to come through the veil again....

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Harry screamed and began to sob. He no longer cared if anyone heard or saw him like this, he couldn't trust anyone, he couldn't care for anyone; he was alone in this world. He was all alone....

Then Harry smelled a waft of cinnamon scent and felt a pair of arms encircle him. He realized he had somehow fallen off his seat and was crouched on the floor of the train. And the little red-haired girl, she was hugging him, holding his head to her shoulder while he cried.

He had never felt so... so... safe. That was it, he felt safe. Nothing could go wrong with the world as long as she was there. He clung to her as more flashes of his life went through his mind, letting himself cry unrestrained on her shoulder.

'Everything will be all right, Harry,' the voice in his head told him. 'All this,' as it acknowledged his memories, 'you've lived through. You will continue to live.'

'I've lived through it,' Harry told the voice. 'But others haven't. How can I live with myself knowing I'm putting the ones I love in danger? But how can I live without anybody in the world I can love and trust?'

'The ones you love will make the decision to go into danger for themselves, Harry. As for your second question...You can't,' the voice said, simply. 'I've tried, and it doesn't work that way. Or, at least it's not supposed to,' the voice added, sending him one of his own images of Voldemort. 'Those who try, lose a part of themselves many of them never knew they had. The ability to feel, Harry; it's a wonderful, horrible gift that we have to learn to live with or we can't really live at all.'

"But I don't want to feel!" Harry shouted, pulling himself away from the girl whose voice was in his head. "I don't want it to hurt whenever I think about Sirius! Or Cedric! I don't want to go through life wondering if there are Death Eaters around the corner! I don't want to feel guilty about leading my friends into a trap of Voldemort's!"

Harry glared at her, a part of him noticing she flinched badly when he said the Dark Lord's name. Right now, he hated her. She was just like Dumbledore. Telling him how he should feel when she had no idea what he was going through now that Sirius was gone....

"You don't want to care, Harry?" the girl asked quietly, tears pouring down her face. "You don't want to remember Sirius and everything he did for you?"

She stood up, her wand still in her hands. She was still small, but her eyes burned into his as her hair swirled around her like fire. It was hard to look at her; she was like fire incarnate. Harry glanced down to avoid her glare, which he was having a hard time coping with. That and her words.

"No, no...I don't know," his mind was still reeling from the flashbacks he had gone through. "I just don't want it to hurt anymore, I guess."

He looked back up at her. Her face had softened again and she nodded like she understood what he meant, and Harry thought he had a chance of getting up without her blowing him off the train. His legs were still wobbly, though, so he sat back down on the seat. Then something occurred to him.

"How do you know Legilimency?" he asked. "I thought I was the only one getting lessons from Snape." The girl sat down too, smiling slightly.

"You are," she said, tucking her wand back into her robes. "I learned Legilimency before I came to Hogwarts." She smiled at him and wiped the tears off her face. Harry suddenly remembered where he had seen her before.

"You're in Gryffindor," he said. She nodded.

"I going into my fourth year," she said. That surprised Harry. He'd thought she would be a second year at the most. She must be really small for her age.

"What's your name?" Harry couldn't help his curiosity. She seemed to know everything about him, his friends, Sirius, and even the Order, and he didn't even know her name.

"Kari. Kari Tomoe," she answered him, holding out her hand like they were just meeting. Though he knew she had just seen many of the most defining moments of his life and probably knew all about him anyways, he couldn't help but go along with it.

"Harry. Harry Potter," he said, shaking her hand. To his surprise, her face turned into a childish grin and she began laughing.

"Are you really?" she asked between laughs.

"Am I really what?" Harry asked, totally bewildered.

"A hairy potter," Kari laughed. Harry burst out laughing himself.

Dudley had used to tease him about his name when they had been young, but Harry had always been good with comebacks, so his cousin had resorted to physical violence instead. This was the first time he had actually heard that pun in a long time. Besides that, it was really nice to laugh. He hadn't done it in so long.

The compartment door opened again. They both looked up to see Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle standing there leering at them. Malfoy opened his mouth and tried to say something, but no sound came out. Harry and Kari looked at each other and she grinned.

For a moment, Harry looked deep into her eyes and suddenly felt the image of a fish with platinum blonde hair push itself into his mind as though she had shown him a picture. He burst out laughing again. Malfoy and his goons looked at him, open mouthed and bewildered. Obviously, whatever Malfoy had been trying to say was supposed to be intimidating or humiliating for Harry. Kari just stood up and took out her wand again, again mumbling something Harry couldn't hear.

"Sorry, Draco, I put a silencing charm on the compartment," she said, as though Malfoy was an old friend. Comprehension dawned on Malfoy's face, but his mouth was still open. But before he could say anything, Kari spoke again.

"Now did you want something, or are you just going to stand there looking like a fish?"

Harry couldn't help it, he laughed harder. By now his sides were aching, but he didn't care. It had been so long since he had had a good laugh, and Malfoy was just standing there with his mouth open, so much like the fish in the mental image Kari had flashed him.

Malfoy recovered visibly, and his old sneer came back.

"Finally gone off your rocker, Potter?" he asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Or did your new girlfriend put a laughing charm on you? Though, I must say," he continued, looking at Kari up and down, "you seem to like them young, with red hair."

Harry's laughter faded and his hand crept casually toward his wand pocket. Malfoy's sneer deepened. Harry knew Draco would just love to put him in detention, but he'd had this coming for a while now. To his surprise, Kari just smiled indulgently at Malfoy.

"Jealous, Draco?" she asked, with just a touch of Malfoy's own sneer. Clearly, he had not been expecting that; but Harry hadn't expected it either. She looked way too young to be talking like that!

Malfoy stepped back from her a little, giving her another measuring glance. Both Crabbe's and Goyle's mouths dropped at the same time. Then Malfoy's eyes went to Harry and he smirked again.

"I'd never thought you'd have it in you, Potter," he said, sarcastically.

He wasn't falling for whatever ploy Kari was going for. But Harry wasn't going to stop her. What else could he tell Malfoy? He knew she'd put a silencing spell on the compartment so no one would hear him while she did Legilimency on him. That was the only explanation. Even though he still wasn't too sure whose side she was on, for right now Malfoy was more of a threat than she was.

"Why else would I put a silencing charm on the compartment?" Kari grinned at Malfoy when he turned back to her, and then flashed Harry a seductive smile and a wink.

Instantly, Malfoy's mouth was again open and Crabbe's and Goyle's could've caught a hippogriff. Harry was still trying to fight off his own laughter when Malfoy turned back to him, so he adopted the smirk the other boy had just worn. To his surprise, Malfoy's face became a smirk, too, but Harry kept smiling. Malfoy's face was gleeful.

"Wait till I tell your other girlfriends, Potter," there was an unmistakable joy in his eyes. Now Harry's smirk became real.

"What other girlfriends?" he asked innocently. Malfoy's grin faded a little.

"The Ravenclaw seeker," he said, recovering instantly.

"Who, Cho Chang? She's going out with Michael Corner," Harry replied easily. He was going to win this round; Malfoy didn't have anything on him this time.

"Granger?"

"Is a friend."

"Weasley?"

"Dean Thomas."

"I meant the other one." Malfoy smirked wider. Harry, however, didn't miss a beat.

"Maybe your tastes run that way, Malfoy," he said, looking pointedly at Crabbe and Goyle, "but mine don't." Draco's smirk vanished and he reached for his wand.

"Are you really sure you want to do that, Draco?" Kari reentered the conversation, her voice deadly sweet. Both Harry and Draco looked at her; her face was now the picture of innocence. "After all, you are a prefect...."

"Shut up," Malfoy spat, turning back to Harry. Then he smirked again and put his wand away. "I think I'm going to have to write you up, Potter. Snogging on the train isn't allowed."

"You do that," Kari said, grinning. "Then the whole school can know that while you're out patrolling the train like a good little boy, Potter was getting some."

Harry couldn't believe the look on Malfoy's face. It was a mixture of astonishment, anger, and rage all mixed into one. One glance told Harry all he needed to know: a rumor like that would ruin his carefully constructed badass, devil-may-care reputation. It would also put Harry in that particular light with many of the girls, some of whom Malfoy might want to impress himself.

Malfoy turned on his heel and stomped out, Crabbe and Goyle right behind him, the compartment door slamming behind them. Kari watched them go and then turned back to Harry and grinned.

"Boys. Your damned reputations make you so predictable," she said, walking back to her chair and sitting down. Harry, however, had had enough of this charade. He pulled out his wand.

"Exactly whose side are you on?" he asked, pointing it at her. She looked startled for a moment but then eyed him in a bored fashion.

"Yours. My own. I guess it depends on my mood."

"On your mood? You just performed an advanced piece of Legilimency on me and you're telling me you did it on a whim?"

"No, that I did for you," she said, apparently not worried about the wand he had pointed at her chest.

"For me? How was that for me? You made me relive some of the worst parts of my life!" Harry almost yelled at her, but remembered just in time that the silencing spell was no longer in effect.

"Two reasons," she answered, unswayed by his reaction. "One, because if you continued carrying on about how you couldn't love anybody, you'd actually start to believe it."

"I do believe it," Harry said forcefully. "Everyone I love is going to get killed, Voldemort will see to that...."

"Then why on earth do they still love you, Harry?" Kari interrupted him, looking exasperated. "Hermione is smart enough to figure out the dangers of being around you and Ron has already defied his own brother for your sake. Have they abandoned you yet?"

"No, but, wait a moment," Harry narrowed his eyes. "How did--how did you know about Percy's letter?"

"I saw it in your memories. When I was digging around for 'betrayal.'"

"He didn't betray me."

"No he didn't," Kari agreed. She looked into his eyes, smiling. "People are always going to care about you, whether you like it or not. Maybe you should think about returning it sometimes."

Harry sat down. It had already been a tiring day, and the lunch trolley hadn't even come by yet. He looked at Kari, sitting there peacefully even though his wand was still pointed at her, and then looked back down again.

"What was the second reason?" he asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"Cho." Harry's head shot up. He certainly hadn't been expecting that.

"What about her?"

"Do you remember last year, when she always seemed to find you when she wanted to cry?"

"How could I forget?" He definitely remembered that. His first kiss and the next thing he knew, the girl was sobbing on his shoulder. Much like he had been doing a few minutes ago....

"Do you understand why?" Kari pressed.

Suddenly, Harry remembered the warmth and safety he had felt when she had held him after such a long time of emptiness. Was that what Cho had been looking for from him? Harry realized that had to have been it. She had been feeling as empty as he had this whole summer long, knowing Sirius was gone forever.

To his surprise, he realized he didn't get as strong a stab of pain when he thought about Sirius anymore. It was still there, just diminished. He looked at Kari.

"Yes."