Faith, Hope, and Love: Faith

Unexpected Nursery Rhymes

"Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?"

Kari stared at the note for quite some time. The owl that had delivered it was still in her room, looking at her expectantly, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that the note had come at all.

Last June she had been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had also been practically expelled from the Wizarding world as well, since she was Muggle-born and they had snapped her only remaining connection in half. Not that Kari was upset by this; in fact, she had orchestrated the whole thing.

After all, not being in the Wizarding world meant less chances of coming into contact with Lord Voldemort, who had risen to power again after thirteen years of exile. She was considered Muggle-born. Who were going to be his favorite little targets? Muggle-borns. She knew when she wasn't wanted.

So why had Dumbledore contacted her again? The last she'd heard of him was when he had been reinstated into all of his positions (Kari couldn't remember them all) and saved the entire Wizarding world from Lord Voldemort, again. The last time she'd seen him was right before he had fought with the Minister and some Aurors and escaped from Hogwarts. That was about the same time when she had decided that the school wasn't going to be safe enough for her anymore.

So, she'd gone out of her way to annoy the new headmistress, Professor Umbridge, and had easily provoked the woman into such a rage that she had snapped Kari's wand in half right there and told the girl to pack her things while she owled her parents, telling them Kari had been expelled.

Needless to say, Mother and Father had been none too happy at her expulsion, but since Mother had to go in for an operation that same week, they hadn't made too big a fuss. Nor had they told her to try and get back into Hogwarts yet. A situation that was likely to change now, considering her old headmaster had just contacted her again.

"So, he's back and trying to correct all the mistakes Umbridge and Fudge have made over the past year," Kari murmured to herself. She smirked. "He's got a lot of work to do. I might as well humor him." She got out her quills and ink and, after thinking about an appropriate reply for a bit, wrote the second verse of the nursery rhyme Dumbledore had sent her.

"I've been to London to visit my Queen."

Kari smiled. She had changed it a little to fit her needs, but the rhyme still fit pretty well. Her mother had had to go to London for the operation, so at least that part was true.

"Probably why he chose to send that particular nursery rhyme," Kari mused. "I'll bet the sly old dog already knew where I was the whole time. He always knows everything."

She gave the owl the note and a small treat from the stash she kept for just that purpose. It hooted its thanks and took off without waiting for her to tell it where to go. It most likely already knew, anyway. Kari sighed. It was doubtlessly one of the school owls.

'Still,' she thought, as she paced around in her room, 'why would Dumbledore contact me? Surely he must know that I intended to get expelled. He would know why, too. What could possibly be so important that he would jeopardize my safety?'

The thought gave her little sleep that night.

Kari was only half surprised to see another owl at her window in the morning, holding another message. This one, however, looked like it had gone through a storm to get there. As Kari opened the window, she breathed in deeply to catch the refreshing smell of the rain, but she couldn't even catch a whiff and it was already hot that morning. The owl stumbled in and collapsed on her bed.

Kari looked at it in confusion before seeing why; one of its wings was broken. That meant it had either been in a fight (highly unlikely) or it had been intercepted. What could possibly be so important that someone would intercept a message meant for her? Carefully, she took the note from the owl and tried to sooth it into calming down. The owl wasn't having any of it. Something had really spooked it.

Sighing, Kari reached under her bed for her spare wand. When she had decided to get expelled, she had also decided that even if she was going to live as a Muggle, she would have at least a little magical protection. So she had ordered another wand. Ollivander hadn't been pleased with her at all and had sent her a very old one that wasn't very good for anything but very basic magic, but it would work.

She looked at it with amusement; a couple of months ago she wouldn't have dared to use magic outside of school for fear they would expel her from Hogwarts. Now, however, she had already been expelled, so what were they going to do? Put her in Azkaban for healing an owl? Kari scowled as she thought about the number of pureblood maniacs in the Ministry. They just might.

"Shadow," she called. Immediately, a large black cat wandered in, alarming the owl even further. Ignoring it, the cat came up to Kari, purring loudly.

"I need a Circle of Secrets," Kari said to the cat. His green eyes gleamed and he purred even louder than before, jumping onto her shoulder.

"Sounds like fun. Whatcha gonna do?" Shadow asked.

"I'm just going to heal this owl's wing and I don't want the Ministry to know about it," answered Kari.

"I could heal its wing," Shadow said plaintively. Kari rolled her eyes. He could. The damned cat had more magic than she did. And since the Ministry didn't keep track of magic done by creatures not under their control because there were just too many magical creatures in the world, they wouldn't even know what had been done.

"Yes, but you would heal it incorrectly just to see what happened," Kari said tersely. Shadow snorted, or did whatever cats did that sounded like they were snorting. "Just the Circle of Secrets, please. Around me and the owl until I tell you to stop."

"Very well," Shadow said, sounding very disappointed. Then, suddenly, his little body tensed and he dug his claws into the shoulder he was standing on so deeply that it drew blood. A circle of light immediately appeared enclosing both her and the owl in its circle. Kari winced, but was glad he was on her left shoulder. She was free to use her right hand without pain and Circle of Secrets was firmly in place. Any magic she did now would not attract the attention of the Ministry.

Quickly, she healed the owl and ordered Shadow to stop, her shoulder throbbing and bleeding freely. 'Damn spell,' she thought irritably. Oh well, it came in handy. The owl was healed now and had even calmed down. In fact, the stupid bird was now asleep.

She turned to Shadow to complement his Circle, but he had jumped to the floor and was now cleaning his claws. He looked back at her when he felt her gaze and gave his claw a saucy lick.

"That's disgusting," Kari said, making a face. He flicked his tail at her in a good imitation of a human shrug and looked back at the owl and the message on her bed.

"Aren't you going to read your little note?" he asked in a teasing voice. She glared at him.

"First I have to clean up my shoulder," she said. "Both the note and the owl are off-limits until I get back." Shadow hissed in annoyance, but Kari ignored him and went to clean herself up.

When she got back, she found Shadow lounging on her bed with just enough space between him and the note for her to sit in, which she did. As she picked up the note, Shadow abandoned all pretenses and curled up in her lap for a better view of its contents.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Kari said, smiling. Shadow glared up at her.

"It must've been a stupid cat," he replied. Kari laughed and opened the message.

"The Black star has fallen through the gateway to Heaven."

Kari was confused. This note made no sense. It definitely wasn't another nursery rhyme. At least none that she'd heard of. Stars were already in heaven. And who had ever heard of a black star? It must be some sort of code or something. She looked at it again. "The black star..." No! The Black star! A Black! The Black family! But the only Black still alive was...oh no. Kari's mind reeled in shock.

Sirius Black.

Sirius Black had fallen into heaven.

Sirius Black was dead.

"Oh, God," Kari breathed. Shadow looked at her in confusion, quietly reading the message back to himself over and over again. Then a look of comprehension dawned on his face.

"Does this mean Dog-Breath is dead?" he asked eagerly. Kari swallowed.

"Yes," she whispered painfully. Shadow let out a whoop of joy and jumped off of her lap to run around on the floor in jubilation. Kari felt her tears fall silently. They were interrupted by Shadow's war-whoop and she looked up to see him doing a very bad impression of Sirius.

"Shut up!" she yelled at him. He immediately stopped, looking at her strangely. Kari simply let her tears fall from her face. Sirius was dead. The man who had broken out of Azkaban, had been caught again, and then had escaped again was gone. Dumbledore had told Kari two years ago that Black had been innocent of all the murders he had been accused of and was only trying to help his godson, Harry Potter, escape from a true traitor.

Oh, dear. Harry Potter. She remembered him from the few times they had crossed paths in the Gryffindor common room. The poor guy must be going through a lot of turmoil right now. He had only just found Sirius and now that man was gone. Kari began to cry for Harry too. He had already been through so much. Why didn't fate just give him a break? Maybe Sirius would talk to God for him. Kari wiped away her tears. Yes, Sirius Black would put in a good word now that he was dead.

Now Kari felt a deep sense of frustration. How had Sirius Black, the notorious criminal who had survived twelve years of Azkaban and evaded the Ministry of Magic for two more years, suddenly up and died? And why would Dumbledore contact her about something like this? She looked at the note again. "...fallen through the gateway to Heaven." What did that mean?

Kari tried to think about everything she knew that would cause a man to fall to his death. A cliff? No, Dumbledore would have said something else. It had to actually be a gate he was talking about. Kari furrowed her brow. The only gate that she knew a person could fall to their doom with was the...but no, that was safely stored in the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry of Magic. Sirius Black, a wanted criminal, would never be able to get near it.

Then, suddenly, her mind flew back to June, just after she had gotten expelled. She had still gotten the Daily Prophet then, it was how she had known Dumbledore was back. When Dumbledore had been reinstated in all of his positions they had mentioned something about Lord Voldemort being in the Ministry of Magic along with a number of his Death Eaters. They had also mentioned Harry Potter a lot in that article, so he must've been there as well.

And if Harry Potter was in trouble and Dumbledore had been telling the truth about Sirius Black, Kari was willing to bet that his godfather would risk everything again in order to rescue him. Even by going to the Ministry of Magic. And in the Ministry of Magic was...the Death Veil. Kari sobbed in despair. It all made sense. Sirius Black had fallen through the Veil. That was why Dumbledore had contacted her about it. He was once again reminding her of the ancient taint that she still carried in her blood. It was her fault.

On the floor, Shadow was looking very uncomfortable with all the waterworks.

"Don't cry, Kari," he said, "he's in heaven now. And Harry--Harry's still got Lupin."

"Lupin? Oh, gods, Lupin!" Kari cried, feeling worse than ever. "Sirius was his best friend! His last friend..." Her voice trailed off because she was finding it hard to breathe now. Poor Professor Lupin. He, too, had already been through so much, and now this.

Why, oh why had Sirius gone to the Ministry that night? How had he fallen through the Veil? He knew it was dangerous, that was why it was in the Department of Mysteries....

Kari's brain halted. The Death Veil. Sirius had fallen through the Death Veil.

"Oh, gods," she breathed, wiping away her tears. Shadow looked at her expectantly. "Sirius, he isn't dead, Shadow!" Kari leapt to her feet and faced her cat. To her surprise, he simply looked distinctly disappointed. Kari felt a swell of anger rise inside of her. "You didn't want me to remember that, did you?" she asked accusingly.

"No," Shadow said, unabashed. "He will be dead soon. And it's just one less person who would be able to identify you."

"But this is Sirius we're talking about!" Kari shouted. The cat looked back at her, untroubled at all at her outburst.

"There are worse ways to die," he said, looking at her unblinkingly. Kari's words froze in her mouth. He was right; there were many, many worse ways to die. And Sirius could identify her. Maybe it would be better this way.

She shook her head fiercely. What was she thinking? She couldn't just let an innocent man die like that! She looked at Shadow.

"I can't just leave him, Shadow," she said.

"Fine. On your own head be it," he replied coldly, "but don't come crying to me when he recognizes you."

With that, the cat jumped off the bed and left the room without a backwards glance. Kari sighed. Shadow was right. Bringing Sirius back would be very risky. All the same...the image of Sirius Black laughing with Professor Lupin sprang into her mind unbidden. She wondered where the hell an image like that had come from, but Kari already knew her mind was made up. She would simply tell Dumbledore what she knew and maybe he would be able to set things straight. There was no reason she actually had to get involved.

Kari grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, thanking the god of sleep that the owl was still in her room and hadn't flown off already. She didn't have an owl of her own and it was obvious that Shadow wasn't going to help her on this one.

Then she tried thinking about a clever code that Dumbledore would be able to understand but nobody else would. She could think of nothing.

'This was why I wasn't in Ravenclaw,' she thought wryly. 'I'm far too simple-minded.' She moved over to her bookcase and got out her book of nursery rhymes that her mother had gotten for her years ago. Dumbledore had started with a nursery rhyme, so maybe it would be appropriate to keep replying with even more.

It only took a second before she found a rhyme that would suit her cause, but it was too long. So Kari only wrote down the verse that was most relevant:

She went to the joiner's

To buy him a coffin,

But when she came back

The poor Dog was laughing.

'Old Mother Hubbard,' Kari thought fondly. 'I wonder if she had a heart attack after that. She sure did go insane. I wonder why Mum used to read me that.' She smiled at that thought, but then she shook herself out of her thoughts and woke up the owl. Then she gave it a couple of treats and told it to take a roundabout route to Hogwarts to prevent any further interceptions. After watching it fly away, Kari sighed and went down for breakfast. It was going to be a long day.

That evening, there was another owl. Kari had wanted to spend the night playing cards with her parents, so she wasn't all that happy to see it. Nevertheless, she told her mother she wanted to go to bed early and went to her room to take the note from the owl.

'Maybe Dumbledore has already figured out how to get Sirius back,' Kari thought. She hoped so. She was tired of magic and wanted to relax with her family, her Muggle family. The Wizarding world was no longer her concern. If she kept getting owls like this, someone was bound to notice. Kari opened the note and then sighed when she read it.

Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone?

Oh where, oh where can he be?

With his ears cut short and his tail cut long,

Oh where, oh where is he?

'Damn,' Kari thought. 'Dumbledore has no information on this one. Damn, damn, damn.' She couldn't even give him the answers he needed; they were all buried with the rest of her secrets. Even if she did find the book again and manage to get it out, she would still have to interpret her notes and do some configuring on that damned gate and its veil. Something like that could take years and Sirius would already be dead anyway. What was the use?

Kari crumpled up the note and threw it away. She thought about sending a note telling Dumbledore she couldn't help, but she suddenly felt so sick and tired of all the magical intrigues that always accompanied Hogwarts that she shooed the owl away without a reply. The headmaster was smart. He could figure out that she didn't want to be bothered with this kind of thing anymore. Besides, she might also be saving her own life.

"Sorry Sirius, sorry Dumbledore," she said into the night. "There's nothing I can do."

She wasn't sure why she was surprised to see another owl the next morning; she certainly knew how stubborn the old man could be. The horned owl just glared at her menacingly when she tried to shoo it off, and after ten minutes of having the damned bird stare at her, Kari was seriously thinking about letting Shadow eat it. However, the cat was just sprawled out over her bed, looking at her amusedly as she tried to tell the owl to go back to Hogwarts and not even suggesting anything to help, so Kari didn't really feel like treating him.

Finally, Kari gave up and held out her hand for the letter, which the owl immediately gave to her. Now immensely frustrated with her headmaster, Kari plopped down on her bed to read it. To her surprise, it was in the form of another nursery rhyme.

Purple, yellow, red, and green,

The king cannot reach it, nor yet the Queen;

Nor can Old Noll, whose power's so great:

Tell me this riddle while I count eight.

Kari felt a prick of anger at the last line's bold letters. Dumbledore wasn't going to take no for an answer. This was awful pushy, even for him. What, did she owe him something? This was all so unfair....

"A rainbow!" Shadow exclaimed. Kari looked down to see that the cat had climbed up beside her to look at her letter. He had also just realized what this particular nursery rhyme was originally talking about.

"You just now figured that out?" she asked him slyly. He glared back at her and put his nose in the air disdainfully.

"I'm more acquainted with the storm rather than what comes after it," he said. Kari giggled slightly. Yes, chaos and destruction were so much more of Shadow's thing.

But back to the problem at hand. What could she do? Kari didn't believe for a second that Dumbledore had meant days when he said he would "count eight." She probably only had eight hours to reply before something drastic happened. The old man would probably show up at her door and her parents would start asking questions. And they would ask him to take her back. And Dumbledore would "graciously" accept. And then Kari would be right back in the middle of intrigue, prejudice and danger; probably even more than ever before.

Damn Dumbledore! Why was he putting her in this kind of situation? He was trying to force her back into this little game of his and there would be no turning back once she accepted. But she had to respond to his letter this time. For a moment, she toyed with the idea of a Howler, before dismissing it. He'd probably send one right back at her, ten times worse than hers.

Kari had no intention of trying to dig up what had already been rightfully buried. All of that was behind her now and it was going to stay that way! She didn't even know if it would work! But what to tell Dumbledore? She looked back at the note.

He was going to count eight. Fine, Kari could help him with that! And she knew just how to!

Quickly, she got out her book of nursery rhymes, found the one she wanted, and copied it down. She then gave it to the owl, who immediately took off without so much as a hoot. Kari locked the window behind it and sighed a breath of relief, hoping that that was the end of the owls coming to her house.

"What did you say?" Shadow asked, walking over to the still-open book and peering at the page. Kari pointed at the passage.

One for sorrow

Two for joy

Three for a girl

Four for a boy

Five for silver

Six for gold

And seven for a secret

Never to be told.

"Well, that's a nice way of telling him to go to Hell," Shadow said, as though he were commenting on the weather.

"Yes, I thought so," Kari replied in the same tone, scooping up the cat to go down to breakfast.

She was in Hogsmeade. There was nobody around, but it was winter again and she could see one of Sirius Black's wanted posters on a pole nearby. What was this? Two years ago? Kari peered at it closer.

As she looked at it, the poster grew until it was life-size and Sirius's whole body could be seen. The photograph looked at her and stepped out of the poster. Kari backed up a step.

'How the hell does that work?' she wondered. The wanted criminal stared at her and started laughing insanely. Kari could only glare at the convict and wonder why on earth he was laughing.

Then another person, attracted by the noise, came into Kari's view and she started again. There was Professor Lupin. He looked like he had gone through hell, but as he came closer and saw Sirius, his face lit up and he also started laughing.

Following Professor Lupin was Harry Potter, who took one look at Sirius and started laughing too. He walked toward his godfather, but even as he did, Sirius's laughter died. Kari stared at him as his expression turned to one of pure terror. Both Harry and Lupin immediately stopped laughing.

"Sirius?" Harry asked tentatively, stopping in his tracks. Sirius looked like he wanted to reply, but he was frozen. A trickle of blood appeared from the corner of his mouth. Kari backed up a step.

Both Lupin and Harry cried out and rushed towards their friend. Harry got there first, grabbing Sirius by the arms to hold him upright. But before Lupin could reach his old friend, he suddenly clutched his heart and fell face down on the ground. Sirius followed suit as Harry left his side to help Lupin.

Torn between the two men, Harry looked around franticly and started yelling for help. It seemed as though no one else was in the village, however, because no one responded to his cries.

Kari just stood there, frozen. What was going on? They were laughing one moment and the next they were both dead! What had happened? Where was everyone? Then Harry spotted her.

"WHAT ARE DOING?? CAN'T YOU SEE THEY'RE HURT? DYING? DO SOMETHING! YOU HAVE A WAND! USE IT! WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE??" Kari backed up even more. She could feel his anger, his frustration, and his terror all at once. They were reaching out to her, making her... She shook her head to clear it, but Harry took it the wrong way, like she wasn't going to do anything. To her surprise, his face and voice fell as terror and helplessness took over.

"Please. Please, help them. I'll do anything. Anything. But I can't stand to lose them. Not now. Please," his eyes met hers, pleading.

Those horrible green eyes.

Kari's heart wrenched and she wanted to help him, but she couldn't move. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Harry's eyes darkened as he realized she wasn't going to help him. He turned back to Sirius and Lupin and sank to his knees, crying.

"Sirius! Lupin! Please don't! I don't know any spells that can help you! Please don't leave, I'll think of something! I swear! Just don't leave me alone!!" Kari looked away from him. She hated to see men cry.

But what had happened to Sirius and Lupin. Kari looked down at the two and realized that something very strange was happening to the bodies.

A green cloud was rising out of both of them and merging into one. It took on the shape of a giant snake and solidified. Harry's yells for help turned into screams of horror. Kari stepped back involuntarily. Snakes were her greatest fear.

Before Harry could defend himself, the snake had wound itself tightly around him, looking at him with a twisted, evil pleasure. Harry flung his head towards her again.

"HELP ME!!!" he screamed. "PLEASE!!"

Kari couldn't have moved if she wanted to. Snakes scared her more than anything else, and she was petrified. However, as the snake wound itself tighter and tighter around her schoolmate, it turned to face her. She drew in her breath sharply as it caught her eyes. It had evil, blood-red eyes that were smiling at her terror.

She heard Harry scream again, this time louder than ever; a death keel. The snake was crushing him to death. And then it rose up towards her and struck.

Kari woke up with a scream. Realizing where she was, she quickly cut off her yell. She didn't want to wake her parents, but as she gasped for air, she realized she had broken into a cold sweat. She breathed deeply to control her heartbeat as she slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

Her stomach heaved a couple of times as she bent over the toilet, but nothing came out. She finally got her heart rate down, but then her whole body started trembling. She burst into tears. The dream had been so lifelike! It was far too easy to picture those blood-red eyes glaring at her again. Oh, how she hated snakes!

As she calmed herself down, she realized she wasn't going to get anymore sleep that night. She decided to take a hot shower in an attempt to stop her shivering. It helped a lot, and while she was taking it, she began reminding herself what had been wrong with the nightmare.

Harry's close companions, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, had been nowhere in sight. Where had they been? Where had everybody in Hogsmeade been, for that matter? Hogsmeade was never empty, not even when the dementors had searched it during her first year, or so the story went.

How had Sirius's wanted poster suddenly come to life? How had Sirius and Lupin died that suddenly and why did their bodies turn into a snake? Why the hell had they been laughing?

Using Muggle logic, Kari was able to calm herself down considerably, and, by the time she was out of the shower, it was dawn. She went back to her room for an outfit and found Shadow stretching on her bed. He gave her a look that told her he thought she was crazy for being up this early, and then he lay back down and went to sleep again. Smiling slightly at her cat's laziness, Kari went downstairs to make breakfast for her parents. After all, it wasn't often that she was up this early, and they deserved a treat.

Mr. and Mrs. Tomoe thoroughly enjoyed the surprise and complemented her cooking enthusiastically before sarcastically asking her what she wanted from them.

Kari was considerably more light-hearted when she went back upstairs to give Shadow his breakfast. However, when she got to her room, there was another owl tapping on her window.

"What the HELL?" she exclaimed, quickly shutting the door behind her and crossing the room.

"I guess he just can't take no for an answer," Shadow said, falling on his breakfast as soon as she put it down.

"He'd better!" she said hotly, wrenching open the window and grabbing the note before the owl even had the chance to land. It scolded her for her bad manners, but Kari ignored it. She was fully expecting an apology and a promise to leave her alone.

She stopped dead when she read the note.

Jack's alive and likely to live,

If he dies in your hand, you've a forfeit to give.

Again, Kari couldn't move. Flashes of last night's nightmare came flooding back to her in full force. She finally realized why the snake had stared at her while it crushed Harry Potter to death. She had the power to save Sirius and maybe many others if she just took action. But she had chosen to remain still, and something terrible had happened. If she didn't take action here in the real world, disaster would strike worse than it had in her dream. The look of pure terror on Sirius Black's face would become the reality of many innocent people if Voldemort wasn't stopped. As that image ran through her mind again, Kari lost it. Bursting into tears, she sank to the floor and sobbed. How could she say no?

How could she say yes?

"Kari?" Shadow said softly. She looked up to see him beside her, looking at her with concern. "What's wrong?" he asked. Still crying, she told him about her dream and Dumbledore's last message.

"Well, that was clever of him," he said after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Kari asked, confused.

"Oh, come on," Shadow said. "You mean you really don't see the connection between your dream and his message?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I'd be willing to bet money that Dumbledore sent you that dream last night," he replied.

"Dumbledore? Why would he do something like that?"

"To scare you into helping him, of course," Shadow scoffed.

"WHAT?" Kari exclaimed, ready to jump to the defense of her old headmaster. However, something made her stop and think about it. The fact that the nightmare had come at precisely the right time for Dumbledore's message to have a full impact on her was not working in the headmaster's favor. And just where had all of those images of last night come from anyway? The most Kari had seen of Sirius Black was his wanted posters. The Sirius in her dreams had looked much more sane than any of those pictures. She hadn't seen Professor Lupin since her first year and, even though they were housemates, she didn't really see a lot of Harry Potter either.

"No, it can't be," she almost whispered. Had Dumbledore really stooped that low? Even as she denied it, she knew it was true. She was too important a pawn in this little chess game between him and Voldemort. He wouldn't simply let her walk off the board.

Anger flooded through her. That nightmare had scared her witless, and now this note was demanding that she place herself in danger for people she neither cared about nor knew well. Had he even thought about what would happen if Voldemort got his hands on her? Kari had absolutely no intention of sacrificing herself so some flea-bitten ex-convict could have another chance to get himself killed. He... Kari's thoughts stopped and she burst into tears again.

Her heart was twisting itself hard in her chest even as she thought about this. She was so scared. She didn't want to die, but a part of her wanted to help the man who had been such a big part of her life. But how could she? What if she messed up?

She felt Shadow's claws sink into her leg just deep enough to get her attention. She looked at him.

"How can I not help him?" Kari asked the cat miserably.

"By remembering what would happen if you were recognized and the Dark Lord found out about you," he answered, looking at her sternly. "Dumbledore made you a promise; that he would never reveal your family's secret or force you to reveal it. Asking you to do this is really leaning on that last part. Plus, it's like asking you to go into the Dark Lord's lair with a target on your back."

Shadow was right again. Dumbledore had made that promise to her and her family.

"So what do I do?" she asked.

"Remind him of it," Shadow said. "And of the danger he's putting you in for the sake of a man that should already be dead. Twice."

"Right," Kari said, getting up and pulling out her book of nursery rhymes. After a bit of searching, she found one that had a part that fit.

But if this be I,

As I do hope it be,

I have a little dog at home

And he knows me;

If it be I

He'll wag his little tail,

But if it be not I

He'll loudly bark and wail!

It was true. Sirius Black would recognize her and wonder what was up. Then her family secret would be out and Dumbledore's promise broken. Kari tied the letter to the owl's leg, which had, like all its predecessors, stayed in her room until she did. Then it flew off to deliver her reminder to the headmaster. Kari looked at Shadow uncertainly.

"Am I doing the right thing, Shadow?" she asked, watching the owl fly away.

"You are saving your own life," he answered. "I don't see what could be wrong with that." Kari sighed and looked out the window. Then she snorted with laughter.

"You think he'll take the hint this time?" she asked.

"He'd better," Shadow hissed. "He's wasted enough of our time. It's time to move on." But as the black cat trotted out of the room, Kari still wondered if they were right.

Dumbledore didn't take the hint. Another note was brought at sunset via yet another of the school's owls. Shadow glared at it from his resting place as it flew through the window, landed beside Kari at the end of her bed, and held out its leg for her to take the note attached.

"Want me to eat it?" Shadow asked, a low hiss escaping him.

"No," Kari said, sighing. She took the note from the owl. She had done a lot of wondering today, especially since she and her mother had just finished Romeo and Juliet, where both of the main characters had died for each other. It made her think a lot about the situation she was in. Did she have that kind of devotion? A part of her said no, but another part said yes.

She was still afraid, but if Dumbledore asked her to help him again, she would. It was the least she could do. Afterwards, she would try to slip back into the shadows of society before she got too involved with anything else, but she would help. If he didn't ask, well, it was just one less thing to worry about. Her hand shaking, she opened the note.

For every evil under the sun

There is a cure, or there is none.

If there be one, try and find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

Kari stared at the note. He was giving her a choice? After everything he had put her through, she could simply say there was no way to help and he would let her off the hook? Kari could scarcely believe her good fortune. She wouldn't have to get involved after all!

But if she didn't get involved...an innocent man would die. And not just any man. Sirius Black. A man whom she owed something to.

Kari let her breath out slowly to control her heartbeat now that she knew what she was going to do. Quickly, she found the nursery rhyme she had looked up earlier when she was still lost in thought and had considered the possibility of accepting Dumbledore's cause. It fit her answer perfectly.

Little bird of paradise,

She works her work both neat and nice;

She pleases God, she pleases man,

She does the work that no man can.

Then, in tiny letters on the bottom of the page, Kari added, "She might need a little help, though!" For this to work, she was going to need some help. A lot of help. And a whole truckload of luck.

She gave the note to the owl, along with the rest of her owl treats. Then she took a deep breath and looked at Shadow.

"I need a favor. We've got work to do."