She Never Knew

I promised to check on Peter every other night. She hasn't woken up yet when I leave, so -

She comes down the stairs. She's just woken up; she's in a bathrobe.

I should have told her about the switch. I can trust her...

"Sirius? What are you doing here? It's midnight."

She doesn't know.

"I need to see Peter."

I should have told her.

"Can't it wait? It's dangerous at night, with Him, and Death Eaters everywhere..."

Why didn't I tell her?

"It's important."

It would have made this much easier.

"Are you taking the motorcycle?"

I hate lying to her.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I love you."

I can't tell her now.

"I love you too."

A kiss.

"See you later."

I won't be long, anyway. The good sentiments that lead the way to hell.

"Goodbye."

The motorcycle won't start for a few minutes. It finally works. Flying. Peter doesn't live that far away.

He isn't there.

He isn't there.

He wouldn't have left, he was in hiding too...

But he isn't there.

There's no sign of a struggle.

Something is wrong about all this...

On the motorcycle again, flying as fast as possible towards where Lily and James live.

I shouldn't know where they live.

Something is very wrong.

Godric's Hollow.

24 Griffin Drive.

I shouldn't know where they live.

Fidelius - There's no way for me to know where they live. I'm not the Secret Keeper.

Something has happened to Peter.

He must have been kidnapped, or...

No struggle - and he wouldn't have left - unless -

Oh God.

What have I done?

The motorcycle goes faster.

And oh god, what will happen to her?

She doesn't know...

* * *

She never knew.

That was the last time I saw her.

A Dementor passes. This is hell.

This is definitely hell.

She never knew.

She thinks it was me, she thought it was me, she always will...

She never knew it wasn't me...

I'm innocent...

I never killed them...

I never betrayed them...

I never would...

She thinks I did, Remus thinks I did, the world thinks I did...

I didn't...

I did.

I didn't...

I did.

I told them to use Peter.

Why did I do that? I should have seen...

The weakest of us - he gave in...

The rat...

I trusted him - we all did - we trusted a rat...

A rat...

Why didn't I stay Secret Keeper? I wouldn't be in this hell...

She thinks I betrayed them...

She thinks it was me...

Remus thinks it was me...

I never told them.

I suspected Remus - Why did I suspect Remus? It wasn't him...

There was no reason to suspect him...

She didn't suspect him...

No one suspected Peter...

I should have. I should have seen, the little rat...

The sewers ... he escaped...

The rat...

I told them.

I told them to use Peter.

I told them to use that rat as the Secret Keeper.

That rat...

I didn't kill them.

I did.

I didn't betray them.

I shouldn't have told them to use Peter.

I should have told her about the switch. Then she would know...

I told them to use Peter.

It was my fault.

She never knew...

* * *

Where is Sirius? He said he wouldn't take long, and he's not here, and it's morning...

The newspaper. I pay the owl.

YOU-KNOW-WHO DEFEATED BY ONE-YEAR-OLD BOY.

Harry? What about...

You-Know-Who was defeated yesterday night by Harry Potter, aged 1. It is unknown how this happened, but wizards around the world are celebrating their release from his reign of terror. Lily and James Potter were killed...

Oh my god.

Lily and James...

And where is Sirius? He was their Secret Keeper...

He was captured.

Or...

* * *

The newspaper. I pay the owl.

SIRIUS BLACK MURDERS PETER PETTIGREW AND TWELVE MUGGLES.

Oh god. Why?

Sirius Black was caught by Ministry wizards after killing thirteen people with one curse. He is discovered to have been working for You-Know-Who, defeated two days ago by Harry Potter...

Oh my god.

Sirius...