Harry Potter and the Trelawney Prophesy

Chapter 3

Helplessness

Harry woke to searing pain. He screamed and rolled off the bed, landing hard on his side and breathing heavy.

"There, you see, Lucius," Harry heard Voldemort's voice. "I told you we would be able to tell when he woke up."

"It's because you're so close, master," said Lucius.

"Oh, I know, Lucius. I know," said Voldemort. "Harry, do you require assistance?"

Harry didn't respond. He just laid there trying to control his shaking. He had rolled off the bed on the wrong side and had landed at Voldemort's feet.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. It didn't hurt so Harry guessed it was Lucius.

"Harry?" It was Severus.

"Tell him to move away," rasped Harry.

"What was that, Harry?" said Voldemort.

"Harry asks that you move away, master," said Severus.

"Does he?" said Voldemort. "Then I will hear him ask me."

"Master-"

"If Harry wants anything of me, he knows all he needs to do is ask and I will do it. I will hear him ask."

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. Voldemort was going to play this for all it was worth, trying to manipulate Harry to do what he wanted. Harry wouldn't let him.

"Help me up please, Severus," said Harry.

Severus hands came around his arm.

"Let go of him," said Voldemort. "Don't touch him."

Severus let go. "But, master-"

"His requests will go through me."

"But you have given him authority-"

"But he is here because of my will, not by choice or by contract," said Voldemort. "Therefore he will be subjected to my will and my whim."

Harry almost groaned. What the hell had happened? Three days ago, Harry had all the leverage he needed. Had Lucius been right? Was Voldemort annoyed enough, possessive enough, that he would do anything, even keep Harry in pain, to force him to stay?

Harry was so confused his brain started to hurt more. Was this one of Voldemort's more obscure dramatic tests?

With monumental effort, Harry grabbed the bed and pulled himself to his feet.

"Harry, look at me," said Voldemort.

Harry said nothing, nor did he look at him. It took most of his concentration to remain standing.

"I know you are angry, Harry," said Voldemort. "I will let you vent your anger."

Harry would love to but didn't, wouldn't. He wasn't going to say a damn thing to Voldemort. He tried to edge away from Voldemort's proximity but Voldemort followed.

"Harry, look at me."

Voldemort reached out and Harry hit the floor again. He kept his eyes down even when Voldemort held his hand under Harry's chin to keep his face up.

"Come on, Harry," said Voldemort. "Show me that green glare of yours."

Harry kept his eyes lowered and said nothing.

"Lucius," said Voldemort. "What do you do when Draco doesn't obey you?"

"I punish him, my lord," said Lucius.

Harry almost looked up. He could argue that Voldemort had already just punished him but then he would have to speak to him, which Harry would not do.

"Harry, you don't want me to punish you, do you?" said Voldemort. "It is my right as your father."

Voldemort was getting nasty, pushing Harry's most sensitive buttons. How long could Harry last against the pain and the taunts?

"Master," said Severus.

"Leave us," snapped Voldemort. "I will deal with my son. If I require assistance, I will call."

Harry heard them leave, willing them to come back. He didn't want to be alone with Voldemort. Voldemort let go and moved away. Harry slumped to the ground. There was silence as Harry tried to get a grip on the pain.

There was nothing Harry could do. Voldemort had proven he could and would force Harry to do what he wanted. That trapdoor opened again.

Harry felt the rise of nausea and struggling, rushed into the bathroom. Thankfully Voldemort didn't follow. Harry had gotten sick many times because of Voldemort but Voldemort never knew it. How would he take it?

Drained, Harry sank to the floor near the door. The wall felt cool and Harry leaned his burning cheek against it. My life is a nightmare.

But Harry was too weak to apparate.

"Harry?" The voice was Severus' so Harry let out his breath.

Severus pushed open the door that Harry hadn't locked and looked over Harry on the floor.

Severus helped him up. "Come on, Potter. You should be fighting him," said Severus. "This isn't what he expected."

"You mean I've surprised him," said Harry as Severus helped him back to bed.

Severus was thoughtful for a moment. "You did, Harry," said Severus. "So I guess you are fighting him."

Harry allowed himself to smile as he lowered his head to the pillow. Voldemort expected Harry's anger, his temper. Instead, Harry stubbornly had remained silent and had gotten physically ill. What would Voldemort make of Harry's misery, knowing he was the one inflicting it?

*********

Harry woke up again in pain but it wasn't the normal pain from Voldemort. It was his eyes. They were burning so bad, Harry couldn't see.

Stupid! He'd forgotten to change his lenses. Harry threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up only to hit his knees. Pulling himself up, using his dresser, he staggered to the bathroom. Once there, he took out his lens and rinsed out his eyes.

He stared at his blurry reflection, leaning close to the mirror. His eyes were blood shot.

He moved carefully back to the bedroom. Leaning on the surface of the dresser, picked up a bottle, holding it close to his face to see what it was. It took several times before Harry found the bottle he needed.

Placing several drops into his eyes, Harry turned back to the mirror, blinking to absorb the fluid. His bedroom was a blur behind him.

When the pain from his eyes diminished, Harry found only a minimal amount of pain. Although Harry was still weak, he considered he might be strong enough to apparate.

If Voldemort didn't come in.

Harry opened the top drawer of his dresser and rummaged through it for a package of lens. Not being able to see well, Harry gave up, held his hand over the drawer and summoned them.

Harry wet them and put them in. Looking back into the mirror, Harry's vision cleared and his bedroom came into focus. Immediately, Harry's attention was drawn to the red eyes staring back at him in the reflection of the mirror.

Voldemort was sitting in his usual chair.

"Still like wearing those lenses, Harry?" said Voldemort.

Harry just stared at him.

Voldemort stood up and Harry turned around to face him.

"I know you are almost strong enough to leave me, Harry," said Voldemort.

Harry crossed the room to stand before Voldemort just outside the flinch zone.

"Will you stop me?" said Harry.

"No, Harry," said Voldemort.

"Why?"

"Your stubbornness and tenacity astound me," said Voldemort. "The strength of you conviction is impressive."

"Flattery won't get you what you want either Voldemort," said Harry.

Voldemort forced a smile and moved away. Harry was glad of it because he had been standing there defiantly enduring the pain almost daring Voldemort to touch him.

Voldemort turned back to him. "I have one question for you before I let you leave me?"

"Release Rowan," said Harry. "And if I can answer it, I will."

Voldemort gestured with his hand. Within a moment, Rowan soared in and landed on Harry's arm singing and crying at the same time.

"What's the question?" said Harry.

"Why did you get sick?" said Voldemort.

Harry considered the question. "I'm not sure I can explain it."

"Try."

Harry thought on all the times he'd been violently ill because of Voldemort.

"Helplessness," said Harry. "Feeling that there is nothing I can do."

"Ah," said Voldemort.

"It's worse when I know it's my fault." Harry stared at the floor. Rowan was still crying on his shoulder.

"But I have told you before, Harry," said Voldemort. "You have the power and the opportunity to initiate change. Everything that happens to you, you have the power to change. You need not feel helpless again."

Harry looked up at Voldemort. "This was a test, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Harry," said Voldemort. "Do you think I enjoy seeing you in agony?"

"Don't you?" said Harry.

"I don't," said Voldemort. "I have told you that it distresses my that I can not touch my son without him feeling pain. The last 24 hours were very stressful for me."

Harry wasn't sure if he bought that.

"So what have you learned?" said Voldemort.

"That you're as stubborn as I am," said Harry.

Voldemort chuckled. "Oh, indeed, Harry," said Voldemort, stepping up to him. He reached out and touched Harry's face. Because of Rowan, Harry didn't feel any pain. Voldemort smiled. "You know I won't give up."

"Then we are both doomed, Voldemort," said Harry. "Because I won't join you."

"A cynic and now a pessimist, my Harry," said Voldemort.

Harry sighed.

"Harry, my test showed that your internal strength can block out the pain," said Voldemort.

It was true but... "So," said Harry.

"You were able to fight me until I used two hands."

"Why did you do that then?" said Harry.

"That was the measurement, Harry," said Voldemort. "To see how much endurance your internal strength has."

"So you really didn't do it just to keep me here?"

"No. I admit it distresses me that I must devise ways to get you to visit with me," said Voldemort. "But I know a time will come when you will stay with me and you will call me father."

Harry shook his head. "You ask too much," said Harry.

"You have grown into an extraordinary wizard," said Voldemort. "I know you don't see it - can't conceive it, but you will and when you do, you will make me and your parents very proud."

Harry stared into the red eyes. Voldemort still held Harry face and seemed pleased that he could due to Rowan.

"Fate has a funny way of revealing itself," said Voldemort. "It even surprises me sometimes."

Now Harry really had a headache. "I'm leaving your exalted presence now," said Harry softly.

"One last test," said Voldemort. He moved his hand from Harry's face to his wrist. "You have Rowan. Let's try this again."

Harry let his memories envelope him and within minutes found himself back in the living room of La Casa Black. Voldemort was with him. Thankfully, the room was empty.

"Very good, Harry," said Voldemort. Harry looked with surprise at him. "But do you realize what this means."

Harry was afraid to ask but curiosity got the better of him. "What?"

"The last time I touched you, I gave you more power. I couldn't keep you there but you brought me with you," said Voldemort. "Our powers are equaling out. I could take you back with me now."

Harry didn't like that.

"I propose we make a little deal," said Voldemort.

"What kind of deal," said Harry.

"A simple one," said Voldemort. "You promise to come and visit me every so often - at your discretion - and I won't come and steal any of your friends or you from the castle."

"Or Rowan," said Harry.

"Very well."

"But the Ministry-"

"Need never know," said Voldemort. "Surely you can slip away for a few hours every once in while."

"I'm beginning to wonder."

"But you can try," said Voldemort.

"All right, Voldemort," said Harry. "I'll try."

Voldemort reached out his hand and Harry shook it. Then Voldemort took hold of Harry's face again, staring into Harry's eyes.

"I'm very pleased," said Voldemort. "That last boost of power has made you strong enough. And you are almost ready, Harry."

Harry stared defiantly back. "Nothing you could do-"

"Oh it won't be me," said Voldemort. "The Ministry will do it."

"The Ministry?"

"Yes, Harry," said Voldemort. "They will force you to make your choice." Voldemort smiled. "It's almost our time, Harry. And you will be ready."

Harry was sure he didn't want to ask this time. He took a step away from Voldemort and Voldemort left the house.

Harry stared into the flames of the fireplace, stroking Rowan absently. He couldn't say what he was feeling. He wasn't submerged in guilt and depression anymore but he certainly wasn't feeling optimistic.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up as Sirius entered the room. Sirius studied him cautiously.

"When did you get back?"

"A few minutes ago," said Harry.

Sirius walked slowly toward him. "Are you all right?" said Sirius.

Harry stared into the concerned face of his godfather. "I don't know, Sirius," said Harry. "I really don't know."

Sirius frowned. "He's still at it, is he?"

Harry looked back into the flames. "Yeah," said Harry. "I just wish he didn't sound so confident." He looked back up at Sirius. "Sirius, do you think I'm as powerful as Voldemort says?"

Sirius rested a hand on Harry shoulder. "Yes, Harry," said Sirius. "You are that powerful. And everyone knows it. In fact, the Ministry wants to see you now that you're back."

Harry sighed. "Am I in trouble again?"

Sirius forced a smile. "No, but they want assurance that you still haven't joined him."