Rating:
PG-13
House:
The Dark Arts
Genres:
Drama General
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 07/28/2003
Updated: 07/16/2004
Words: 87,865
Chapters: 22
Hits: 47,255

Harry Potter and Salazar's Talisman

KrysRoz

Story Summary:
Sequel to The Balance of Power trilogy (Harry Potter and the Slytherin Connection, Harry Potter and the Unexpected Inheritance and Harry Potter and the Trelawney Prophesy). Post Hogwarts. Having defied the prophecy by defeating the most evil Dark Lord of the century and living, the wizarding world's most powerful wizard returns to Hogwarts to teach. But as most people know, Harry Potter doesn't go looking for trouble, trouble invariably finds him. With Harry Potter as the teacher, Defense Against the Dark Arts classes take on a whole new meaning.

Chapter 03

Posted:
07/29/2003
Hits:
1,817
Author's Note:
Continue to review. Thanks to Brenna for her help brainstorming and betaing.


A/N: Oh my, we are a demanding group. It's only been a couple of weeks since I finished posting the Trelawney Prophesy. Remember, this one is a WIP so some of the updates will alas take longer. So far, most of the questions should be answered in this chapter but we're only at chapter 3 here and I have a feeling this is going to be the longest yet so don't expect everything at once.

Also, please remember that this is based on what happened in my trilogy and you can't expect me to follow canon now that the actual book 5 is out.

Enjoy and review.

Chapter 3

Another Contract

The legal formalities found Harry about a week later. He stared down at the stack of parchment. His own inheritance from Gryffindor had been extensive and Slytherin now more than doubled it.

"Just sign them, Harry," said Voldemort from his chair at the back of Harry's classroom. "You have the fame and the glory of being the wizard who defeated me, why shouldn't you get the glittering prizes."

"I have to think about it," said Harry.

"Yes, think of all the good you could do with that money."

Harry sighed. "Why didn't you change it back?" said Harry.

"You know why I did it, Harry," said Voldemort.

"Yes, so the wizarding world would think you bought me."

"Yes, well in the end, as I told you, I was rather fond of you," said Voldemort.

"I remember how painful it is to have you fond of me," said Harry.

"Always the cynic, my Harry," said Voldemort.

"I'll ignore that," said Harry.

Voldemort chuckled. "So it became quite personal that you would inherit my fortune."

"Why?"

"Why do you think, Harry?" said Voldemort. "If we both died..."

"Both houses would die."

"Yes, and no one would ever be as powerful as we were," said Voldemort. "And if you lived..."

"Both houses would survive."

"Yes, and the prophesy would have another chance to be fulfilled."

The prophesy. Harry was sick to death of it - of anything related to fate or destiny. Thank God Sybil Trelawney rarely came out of her tower.

"Voldemort, don't you have something better to do?" said Harry with exasperation.

"But Harry, our favorite class is about to start," said Voldemort.

As the 6th years filed in, Harry put the parchments in his drawer and pulled out his notes. He looked over the class.

"Where's Sean?" said Harry.

Just then the boy in question raced into the room, breathing heavy. "Sorry, Professor," said Sean. "Stan Grable won't leave me alone."

Stan was a 7th year and the current Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Harry stood up and moved around his desk to lean on it. "What's he on about now?"

Sean took his seat and looked rather embarrassed. "Er-"

"Never mind, you don't have to tell me," said Harry.

"You were just curious, right Harry?" said Voldemort.

Harry sent Voldemort a glance. "Most people know how interested I am in the game," said Harry. "And I know that they're playing Slytherin on Saturday."

"Ah yes," said Voldemort. "Youngest Seeker of the century. Can you still do that creative little dive of yours."

"Voldemort," said Harry. "This lesson isn't on Quidditch."

"Can you?" said Sean eagerly.

"See, Harry," said Voldemort. "The class wants to know too."

"See what you've done, Voldemort," said Harry, sending him a glare.

"Stop being so modest and answer the question," said Voldemort.

Still glaring at Voldemort, Harry said, "Yes I can still do it now will you be quiet so I can teach."

But the class had started murmuring with that disclosure.

"Professor," said Sean. Harry turned to the boy. "That's what Stan was on about. I nearly killed myself last week during practice trying to do the Potter Dive."

Harry blinked at him and Voldemort laughed.

"Ah, Harry," said Voldemort. "Famous for more than staying alive now."

Harry sat on his desk, running a hand through his hair and hoped he wasn't turning red.

"Anyway," said Harry. "The Unforgivable Curses. Who can tell me what they are?"

"Clever subject change," said Voldemort. "Why didn't you become a professional Quidditch player, Harry? Didn't they ask you?"

Harry ignored him as several students raised their hands.

"Dawn," Harry called on a student in the back.

"The Imperius Curse, The Cruciatus Curse and The Killing Curse," said Dawn Miller.

"And another subject which Harry Potter is famous for," said Voldemort. "Since he is the only wizard in the world who can defend himself against all three."

"Voldemort," said Harry with frustration. "Will you be quiet?"

"Will you beg me?"

Harry sent him a glare then moved off his desk and around it.

"Answer my question first," said Voldemort. "And I'll stop interrupting."

"Why?" said Harry. "So you can gloat?"

That got the chuckle. "Would you like me to?"

Harry saw Voldemort's brows shoot up. Oh yes, he'd love to start. Harry wasn't about to open that can of worms. "Which question?" said Harry.

Voldemort smiled knowingly.

He still knows everything.

"Why aren't you playing Quidditch?" said Voldemort. "Didn't they ask you?"

"They'd have to be stupid not to have asked him," said Sean, looking interested.

The entire class looked interested as well. Harry sighed. "Yes they asked and I declined."

"Why?" said Voldemort.

"That's my business," said Harry.

"Come now, Harry," said Voldemort. "I satisfy your curiosity, satisfy mine."

"I'd say the answer is obvious," said Cindy.

The whole class looked at her. She really was like Hermione. Hermione thought everything was obvious, although it usually was to her.

"Is it?" said Voldemort. "Do tell us, my dear girl."

"Er," said Cindy with a hesitant glance at Harry. "Well considering how modest the Professor is, I'd say he was just tired of being in the spotlight all the time."

Harry turned and took a jar of spiders out of a drawer and set it on his desk.

"Is that the reason?" said Voldemort.

"The Imperius Curse can be countered by many," said Harry.

Voldemort chuckled. "I take that as a yes," said Voldemort.

Harry went on is if Voldemort hadn't spoken. "It takes a certain character-"

"Which is why he could do it even at the young age of 14," said Voldemort. "And against me."

"Voldemort," said Harry. "You said you'd stop interupting."

Voldemort chuckled.

Harry put them through their paces with The Imperius Curse. Several of them were proficient in fighting it but only one was able to throw it off completely.

"Very good, Missy," said Harry.

Missy beamed at the praise as she returned to her seat.

"You're not using your wand though, Harry," said Voldemort.

"Voldemort, they're students." He turned back to the class. "Now the Cruciatus Curse is a bit harder to counter," said Harry.

"Will you tell them why you can counter it, Harry?" said Voldemort.

Harry ignored him, reached into the jar and picked out a spider.

"Spiders, Harry?" said Voldemort.

"I'm not demonstrating the Cruciatus Curse on students," said Harry.

"Ah where is Lucius when you need him," said Voldemort.

Harry laughed at that - had to. "Sorry, Voldemort," said Harry. "I guess you didn't hear, Lucius got away."

"Did he?" said Voldemort. "I always said he was slippery."

Slippery he was but he wasn't clever enough to slip away from Harry. Harry knew damn well where he was. He wasn't about to tell anyone that however. Not even the Malfoys knew where Lucius was. Narcissa never asked Harry, nor did Draco who had left the country after he was cleared and had seemingly ceased to exist.

"There's a mission for you," said Harry. "Go hunt down Lucius Malfoy and play with him for a while."

"Nice try, Harry," said Voldemort. To the class he said, "Harry is able to counter the Cruciatus Curse because-"

"Voldemort," interrupted Harry.

Hermione's entrance stopped Harry from saying something that would have probably made Voldemort angry enough to touch him again and thusly show the class exactly why Harry could counter the curse.

She walked right up to Harry and leaned close to his ear.

"If you want him to go away," said Hermione. "Call Rowan."

"What are you telling him, Hermione?"

"Why?" said Harry.

"No ghost can be in the same room with a phoenix," whispered Hermione. "That's why he never goes into your private room."

Harry looked at Voldemort with triumph. "Really?"

"Yes," said Hermione.

"What did she tell you?" said Voldemort.

Harry simply looked at the door. "Rowan," he called.

"Very clever, Hermione" said Voldemort and he disappeared as Harry's phoenix soared into the room and landed on Harry's arm.

As she was really quite stunning, with her brilliant sapphire plumage with black and silver highlights, the class all ooohed and ahhed. Rowan, eating up the praise, fluttered her wings importantly.

"This is Rowan," said Harry, holding out his arm so everyone could see her. "She is my-" Rowan nipped his ear. "Sorry, girl," said Harry. To the class, he said, "I am her wizard."

Several girls giggled.

"Since Professor Weasley has informed me that no ghost can be in the same room with a phoenix, you'll probably be seeing a lot of her."

The class laughed and Harry magicked her a grand perch near a window. Rowan rubbed her head into Harry's chin, pecking at the chair around his neck. Harry laughed, pulled the chain out of her beak, pushing the medallion back under his robe and held his arm out towards the perch. She flew to it. Then Harry picked up Hermione's hand and kissed the back of it.

"Thanks," said Harry. "I can always count on you."

Hermione just smiled and strolled out of the room.

Harry enjoyed a wonderful Voldemort free week. According to Hermione, Voldemort had sulked for the first couple of days but was now quite angry that Harry wouldn't play.

It was the start of his 6th year class that the huge snake slithered in and coiled toward Harry.

"It's all right," said Harry. "This is Nagini. Voldemort's snake. He must be getting desperate."

"You have made the master very angry, Harry Potter," said Nagini.

"Fat lot, I care," Harry told her.

"Professor, you can talk to snakes?"

"Yes," said Harry. To Nagini, he said, "What does he want?"

"A contract."

"He has nothing to bargain with," said Harry.

Hermione rushed in and stopped dead when she saw the snake. "He sent her?"

"Yes," said Harry. "What's the matter?"

"Oh, Harry," said Hermione. "He says he'll go to your house."

"WHAT!" Harry jumped to his feet. "Can he do that?"

"Yes."

"Damn him," muttered Harry. He looked back "Does he have to honor a contract?"

"Oh, yes," said Hermione. "Even as a ghost, he is bound by wizards honor. But because you and he can still shake on it, you can have a binding contract with him."

Harry nodded and turned to Nagini. "Tell him I'll see him." He turned to the class. "Interesting development," said Harry. "But a good example of wizards honor and defense against Voldemort. Would you like to see us negotiate with Voldemort?"

"Oh Harry, do you think that's wise?" said Hermione.

But the class was enthralled. Harry held up his arm and Rowan flew to it.

"Go on, girl," said Harry. "I have to do this."

She complained mightily.

"It'll be all right. Go on."

Still complaining, Rowan flew out of the room. Nagini circled Harry's desk.

"Call him, Master Harry," said Nagini.

Harry put his hand to his scar. Voldemort.

Voldemort appeared before Harry, inside the flinch zone.

"That wasn't very nice, Harry," said Voldemort.

"So who said I was nice," said Harry.

Voldemort grabbed Harry's face. "Harry," said Voldemort as Harry lowered to his knees. "I'm angry enough already." He looked to Hermione. "Are you here as Harry's legal council?"

Harry shook his head.

"No," said Hermione. "Harry has to speak for himself."

"Very well." Voldemort released Harry and moved away. He glanced at the class. "Ah, our favorite class as witnesses. I like that."

Voldemort waited while Harry got to his feet and leaned against his desk. Harry pressed a hand to his forehead.

"So," said Voldemort. "How much are you willing to concede to keep me away from your wife?"

"What are you asking?" said Harry.

"Well for starters, stop spending ever damned minute with that phoenix of yours."

"You know that's Rowan's idea," said Harry. "She's protecting me. I'll keep her in my private room if we come to a satisfactory agreement."

"Send her home," said Voldemort.

"Are you saying she will be needed there?" said Harry.

Voldemort laughed. "Ah, Harry, you have learned much from me. Very well, I will accept that." He turned serious. "What are your restrictions?"

"You will stay out of my younger year classes. You will not go near my house. You will not touch me in front of any students."

Harry waited while Voldemort considered his terms.

"You ask much, Harry," said Voldemort. "I amend: I will avoid your 1st through 4th year classes, unless you expressly ask me to them. I will not go to the Potter residence unless you are there."

"But not until Ginger gives birth," said Harry quickly.

"That isn't until the spring, Harry," said Voldemort.

"Yes."

Voldemort stared at him. "Then I will see you sign that document now."

Harry looked back at him. This was a very tough power play. "All right," said Harry.

Voldemort went on. "I will not touch you in front of any students except these," Voldemort indicated the class. "You said they could take it and they have. And we will re-negotiate by the summer break."

Hermione leaned toward Harry and whispered, "He can't touch your scar."

Harry didn't think there was anyway Voldemort was going to agree with that. Not with his threat of torture manipulation.

Turning to Nagini, Harry said, "He can't touch my scar."

Voldemort turned to the snake also. "Nagini, Harry knows I won't agree to that."

"Without provocation," said Harry.

Voldemort appeared interested. "And who decides the provocation?"

"He does," Harry told Nagini. Harry met Voldemort's stare. He laughed. Harry turned back to the snake. "But if I contest it, I can call Rowan to me."

"Sign the document now, Harry," said Voldemort. "And I will agree."

Harry went around his desk, opened the drawer and pulled out the papers. Dipping his quill in the ink, he stared at the X on the bottom of it.

"Sign it, Harry," said Voldemort.

"Wait!" cried Hermione. "What is it?"

"Sign it, Harry. It's not for you. It's for the heirs."

Harry stared at the parchment.

"Wait, Harry," said Hermione again. "Tell me what it is."

Harry quickly signed it and the parchment vanished.

"Very good, Harry," said Voldemort. "I agree to your terms." He held out his hand. "Are we agreed?"

"Wait, Harry. What was that last part?" cried Hermione. "I didn't understand it."

"Well, Harry," said Voldemort, staring into Harry's eyes. "Do you agree?"

Harry looked at Voldemort's hand between them. "Yes," said Harry, reaching out and taking Voldemort's hand. "Agreed."

Voldemort quickly grabbed Harry's face with his free hand. As Harry lowered to his knees, Voldemort pulled his hand from Harry's and placed it on the side of Harry's head, his thumb raised over Harry's scar.

A cry of pain ripped out of him.

"For that week of boredom that you thrust on me, Harry," said Voldemort with a large amount of menace. "I think you need a few days out of commission."

"No, Voldemort," cried Hermione. "Harry, what was the last agreement? What should I do?"

"Not a thing, Hermione," said Voldemort. He stared into Harry face, looking very pleased.

Harry, of course, couldn't speak. He willed Hermione to call Rowan but she didn't. She was watching in horror as Voldemort continued to hold onto Harry, his finger perched over the scar. Everything blurred around him.

"Just provocation, Harry," said Voldemort. "Don't ignore me again."

Voldemort's thumb hit his scar and Harry hit the floor with a soul ripping cry of agony.

Over him, he heard Voldemort say, "Class dismissed."

Into the dead silence, Hermione ordered, "Sean, go get Professor Snape. Hurry." She knelt beside him and placed an arm around him. "Harry, can you hear me? Severus is on his way."

Breathing was hard enough. Harry didn't think he could speak. It had been over 7 years since he had felt this kind of pain. Harry hadn't missed it.

"Hello, Severus."

"What did you use this time, My Lord?" said Severus. Harry heard Severus lean over him.

"He said he's go to Harry's house," said Hermione, her voice choked.

"You used a pregnant woman?" said Snape. "That's low. Even for you." Snape lowered his voice. "Harry, can you move?"

"Not yet, Severus." Harry didn't recognize his own voice.

"Where is his phoenix?" said Snape.

"He can not use his phoenix," said Voldemort. "And he knows it. Wizard's honor."

Severus sighed and magicked a stretcher. "Mr. McIves, help me."

Harry cried out in pain as he was moved to the stretcher. He could feel the blood running down his face. He heard a chorus of horrified gasps before complete blackness over him.

******************

Three days later he forced himself to go to class. He was still in a great deal of pain and was still weak, but he had to teach. He also had an idea how to manipulate Voldemort and contest Voldemort's 'just provocation' if the right opportunity presented itself.

He was a little nervous about facing his sixth years. They had seen Voldemort put him in pain before, but doubted they'd ever seen the kind of torture Harry had been through.

There was little he could do about it now. And in all reality, it was his favorite class. As a whole they had a good sense of humor and they seemed to sense his embarrassment about some things and readily accepted his subject changes.

Even as early in the school year as it was, Harry felt as if he had bonded with them. Maybe because they were curious, maybe because they weren't afraid of Voldemort, but they took him seriously. But probably because due to Voldemort, they had seen Harry, the cynical, sarcastic pessimist and still respected him. In any case, it was because of Voldemort.

Damn manipulative bastard, he was still trying to control Harry's life. Harry would be damned if he didn't fight back.

The class came in quietly and sat down. Several of them looked surprised to see him. Snape had been subbing for him.

Harry put down his quill and looked up at them.

"Are you all right, Professor?" said Missy.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Just weak," admitted Harry. "Now that you've all seen first hand how merciless Voldemort can be, we won't need anymore demonstrations. Will we?"

"No, Professor," the class murmured.

"And watch what you say about me outside this class room," said Harry. "He's going to be listening particularly to this class for ammunition."

"We understand," said Sean.

"You can count on us," said Dawn.

"What if he's all ready here?" said Lucas Wilson.

"Professor Potter would know," said Sean.

Harry didn't feel like correcting him. With the pain he was still enduring, Voldemort could indeed be there. But Harry doubted it. Voldemort liked this class as well and had never snuck into it since his presence had become known. He also doubted Voldemort would think Harry was even well enough to teach.

"All right," said Harry. "What did you all figure out about magical contracts?"

"That it's like dealing with the devil," said Rufus Milford. Harry noticed that Rufus was a wisecracker but he also seemed to be the most unnerved by Voldemort.

The class laughed and Harry grinned at him.

"Well not everyone has had to negotiate with Voldemort," said Harry.

They spent the first half of the class discussing points of a contract. If anyone in the class noticed that Harry hadn't stood up once, nor sat on his desk (as he normally did), they didn't mention it. Then Harry told them to pair up and gave each group a dispute to make a contract for.

They were quietly working while Harry was working on a letter to Ginger. Harry hadn't told her about Voldemort yet. He didn't want to upset her. He had asked Ron and Hermione not to mention it yet either. Was there a delicate way to tell your wife that you're being haunted by the century's most evil Dark Lord? Harry couldn't seem to find it.

Harry felt the pain increase but didn't look up. Voldemort had arrived. Time to put his plan into action.

"Ah, Harry," said Voldemort from across the room. It sounded like he was in his chair in the back. "Up so soon? The last time I touched your scar, you were unconscious for four months."

Harry still didn't look up. "You wouldn't like the response off the top of my head, so give me a minute."

Several students snorted.

Voldemort chuckled. "What ever do you have them doing?"

"Negotiating contracts," said Harry.

"Why?"

"To see what they gleamed from our example of brilliant negotiating." Harry still hadn't looked at him. Harry glanced at the last letter he'd gotten from Ginger.

"What are you doing?" said Voldemort.

"What's with all the questions?" said Harry.

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to work."

"And what are you working on?" said Voldemort again. "Tell me, Harry. I'm curious."

"I'm working on my letter of resignation," Harry muttered.

The entire class reacted with protests.

Harry looked up at them. "I'm kidding," said Harry. "I'm kidding."

Voldemort chuckled. "And you say I have a warped sense of humor."

Harry looked back down at his letter. "You do have a warped sense of humor." Harry still hadn't looked at him and he knew it would start to annoy Voldemort very soon.

"Like father, like son," said Voldemort.

So Voldemort had noticed all ready. He was trying to bait Harry into anger. Harry suppressed his temper. He was in enough pain and didn't have the strength to explode as he normally would have. Harry was going to win this round if it killed him.

"Actually," said Harry. "I'm told my father did have a very wicked sense of humor. To quote, 'Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter.'"

Voldemort was silent for a few minutes, which Harry attributed to his own anger. Voldemort hated when Harry brought up Sirius. Voldemort floated around the students, looking over their shoulders at their contracts.

The students didn't seem to mind, so Harry tried to keep working on his letter.

"Harry," said Voldemort. "What are you working on?"

"Will you give me a break for crying out loud."

"Harry, look at me."

Voldemort was annoyed now. "If you must know," said Harry. "I'm writing to Ginger. Happy now?"

"Professor Potter?"

Harry glanced up. "Yes, Cindy?"

"We've finished our contract and-" she hesitated.

Harry waved her toward his desk. She handed him her parchment. On top of it was a smaller piece of paper with a note.

We think we know what you're doing. We have an idea to help you contest the punishment. I need to send you an owl.

"May I be excused?" said Cindy. "I'm feeling a little sick to my stomach."

Harry stared at the note. The class figured it out? Someone must be a parseltongue. Send him an owl? Harry considered it. Might work.

"He turns my stomach too, Cindy," said Harry. "Of course you may be excused." He grabbed a piece of parchment. "I'll write you a pass."

Harry added on the note:

Use Hedwig. She'll let you if you address it to me.

"Thank you, Sir," said Cindy and she left.

"Making my students sick now too, are you Voldemort," said Harry dryly.

"I do what I can, my pet," said Voldemort.

Harry let that one go by too.

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Voldemort," said Harry. "I'm busy so please be quiet."

"I don't believe you," said Voldemort.

"Too bad."

"Harry, look at me."

The class continued to appear to be working diligently but Harry kept noticing several of them glancing toward the open window.

"Harry, I know what's wrong," said Voldemort.

Harry dipped his quill. "Congratulations."

"I can make you look at me," said Voldemort.

"I don't think you will," said Harry.

"Why?"

"For the same reason you've spent the entire class at the back of the room," said Harry.

Hedwig soared in, stalling Voldemort's response. Harry lifted his arm.

"Hey, girl," said Harry as she settled on his arm and nipped his hand. Harry took the parchment from her leg and stroked her. Harry kept a dish of bird treats on his desk so Hedwig jumped to it and took one then flew to Rowan's perch.

Harry looked at the note.

Hope this works.

"Who's it from?"

Voldemort's voice came from over his left shoulder and Harry's hand hit his scar. The new pain combined with the pain he was all ready dealing with knocked Harry out of his chair to a seat on the floor. He finally looked up at Voldemort.

Voldemort floated over him, studying Harry expression.

"So I was right," said Voldemort. "You're not recovered enough. You've been teaching this whole lesson in pain."

"You were right?" said Harry, staring into those red eyes. "So you knew."

"Of course I knew. No one can read your reactions better than I can, you know it too, which is why you haven't looked at me all class."

"You knew how much pain I was already in," said Harry. "Yet you did what you just did?"

Voldemort chuckled. "Yes, Harry, I can always tell when you-"

Harry smiled and Voldemort smile vanished.

"I will only accept one punishment per provocation, Voldemort," said Harry. "I contest this one."

Voldemort looked at the note on Harry's desk then down at Harry. "Semantics, Harry?"

"Rowan," called Harry with a grin.

Voldemort grabbed Harry's face. "Oh very good, Harry. I have taught you well." He reached out his other hand and touched Harry's cheek.

A cry of pain ripped out of him.

"I concede," said Voldemort and he vanished as Rowan swooped into the room.

Harry sat by his desk, cradling Rowan to his chest as she cried his pain away. He stood up. His class was applauding and high-fiving each other.

"Are you all right, Professor?"

Harry smiled at them. "I'm fine, Missy." He held up Rowan, who fluttered her wings impressively. "Rowan takes good care of her wizard."

Rowan bit his ear.

"What?" said Harry as she went to her perch and nudged Hedwig who moved over.

The class laughed. Harry looked at them.

"So who's the Parseltongue?" said Harry.

"Cindy," said Sean.

Harry shook his head. "Another Gryffindor Parseltongue," muttered Harry with a grin. "I can just hear Snape now."

"Yes well, Cindy understood the entire last part of the contract and translated for Professor Weasley. She told us that you would probably try to manipulate Voldemort to contest and get back at him."

"When we saw what you were doing, well-" said Missy.

Harry smiled proudly at them. "Full marks for all of you and fifty points for Gryffindor," said Harry. "You've helped to outmaneuver the most evil Dark Lord of the Century. If that isn't Defense Against the Dark Arts, I don't know what is."