The Tale of Peter Pettigrew

Why I did it? Why did I turn? Why did I turn when I had the best friends anyone could ever have? When I had a bright future?

One reason.

Jealousy.

When I first started Hogwarts, I had a bad name. My mother and father were squibs, they couldn´t do any magic at all, not even a simple levitating charm. They were so proud when I got the letter from Hogwarts when I was eleven. They didn´t think I had enough magic in me to get in. But I did - and from that moment on, I wanted to be something. I wanted to be somebody, somebody my parents could be proud at. Someone, who would be voted `Most Likely to be Successful and Important´ at graduation.

So I went to Hogwarts. I wanted to be in Gryffindor - lots of successful and important people were in Gryffindor. And I was sorted into Gryffindor. I can still remember what the Sorting Hat told me.

"Gryffindor eh? You´re brave lad, you want to do well. How about Ravenclaw? They strive to do well. No? Hufflepuff then. Loyalty, friendship, that´s what you need. I can find it in Gryffindor can I? My, my you´re stubborn. Maybe a Slytherin then? No? You´d be alright in Slytherin. Still no? Well, I think you´ll do well here. GRYFFINDOR!"

I was so happy. I was on the road to success. The Gryffindors were cheering me. I wished my parents were there to see it. They always wanted to be in Gryffindor.

I met my fellow Gryffindors that night. James Potter. Sirius Black. Remus Lupin. Lily Evans. Victoria Andrews. Caroline Havesham. Sara O´Neill. They were a wonderful bunch of people. I couldn´t have asked for a better group to spend in the best seven years of my life with.

I always looked up to James. Partly because he was always taller than me. James was the type of person I wanted to be. He was smart. So clever and good at practically everything without trying. He was funny, a practical joker. He was a good person too. He never bragged about him skills, his Quiddicth ability. (He was seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.) And he helped others, he was a very selfless person. I remember one night, Lily was in tears over her Potion´s essay, she couldn´t do it and it had to be handed in to Professor Pringle the next day, who wouldn´t give her an extension. She was sitting there crying in the common room. Then, quite suddenly, James walked over to her, with a stack of books under one arm and his essay under the other and sat down next to her. He helped her write it. He helped her with the research and he guided her in the right direction. He even took her to the library under his invisibility cloak to find a book that would help her. They were up until two in the morning working and both fell asleep during History of Magic the next day but it had been worth it because Lily got an A on her essay. She was so happy.

I wished I could be him.

And so, James, Sirius and Remus became my best friends. Victoria dubbed us `The Marauders´, because of our sheer volume of pranks, tricks and mischievous ways. I have to say, it was fun. And exciting. When we found out, in our second year that Remus was a werewolf. I was the last to find out. James and Sirius found out first. Then told me a week later when they decided what to do. We vowed to help him somehow, and we did. We became Animagi. It was the third proudest moment in my life, the first time I turned into a rat. I had achieved something I never thought I would be able to do. I wish I could have told my parents.

It wasn´t until my seventh year that my feelings and attitudes changed. One Sunday morning in November, I realised I was the underdog in the operation. My feeling for James changed. From admiring his personality, to hating it. I became jealous. James had everything. Money. Good looks. Skill. Charm. Grace. I had none of this. In a way, I still admired him. But I was more jealous of him. Then, at the following Christmas Party, he took away the final straw.

Lily.

Over the years, I had grown to love Lily. Lily was beautiful, kind, sweet, and had an air of vulnerability around her. I was vulnerable to.

And then James kissed her and took away the one thing I could have had over him. He knew I fancied Lily. Hell, all the boys in our year fancied Lily. But he got her.

After graduation I met a man. A man who went by the name of Lord Voldemort.

He said he could offer me everything I could ever want in exchange for information about James Potter. I didn´t know what he wanted with James, but I know he wanted to hurt him. And then the jealous part of me took over completely. Oh yes, on the outside, I was still cheerful Peter Pettigrew - happy as a lamb, always willing to help. But inside, I wasn´t him at all. I was Peter Pettigrew. A Death Eater.

I made more friends in the Dark Order. Friends like me. Friends who had bitter pasts and who wanted to either seek revenge or grab hold of that bit or power with their name on. I wanted the power. And it was there for the taking.

It was Sirius who suspected me. He had heard talk that I had been seen with suspected Death Eaters. And he began to question me endlessly. If I was late for a meeting or something, he´d pull me aside and hiss `Where were you?´ Remus and James didn´t see anything.

Soon, my master hatched a plan. And I admit, it was a terrible plan. He wanted to kill James and James´s new son, Harry. Again, I wasn´t privy to the whole plan, just the killing part.

I didn´t want to help kill James. But by this time, I was so far gone to the Dark Order that I had no choice but to help

And so I was made the secret secret keeper. Only me, James, Dumbledore and Sirius knew. Until I betrayed them and bargained with Voldemort. I would give him the information if he swore not to hurt Lily. He promised.

Then he broke it. He killed her. I was outside the Potter´s house in Godric´s Hollow when he did it. I saw the first two flashes of green light. One came from what would have been the living room, the other from an upstairs bedroom. I turned away, and began to leave when there was another, blinding flash of green light and a terrible swishing noise. I turned back to the house and watched it slowly crumble, then collapse onto the ground.

My Master wasn´t there. I knew something wrong had happened - something had gone wrong.

I scrambled over to the huge pile of rubble and began to search for Lily. I found her. Then I heard Harry crying and pulled him out of the bricks, wood and mortar. Why was he alive? There was a curious lightning bolt cut on his forehead. Then I heard the roar of Sirius´s motorbike high up in the sky.

I placed Harry carefully on the bricks. Sirius would find him. And I fled.

Sirius went after me the following day, probably tracked me and cornered me in a crowded street in the nearby Muggle town. Sirius had always been better at duelling that I could ever be - I had no chance. So I cut off one of my fingers and blew up the street, turning into a rat before I could be hurt and scurrying away down the sewer with the other rats. Sirius got the blame and the Azkaban time.

The Weasley´s had no idea they were harbouring a Death Eater. They thought I was an ordinary rat. But they were nice to me. I became a part of their family. And to them, I am truly grateful for their kindness, even if they hate me now.

You know what happened in Harry´s third year. They found out I was really alive. They turned me back into human form. I didn´t want to go to Azkaban, or worse, the Dementors. So I ran, again. And hid in a rabbit hole in the Forbidden Forest. The I ran to where my Master had been seen last, Albania. He offered me the power I had craved. He forgave me. I became his most trusted servant.

So, that´s me. My tale. Why are you looking at me like that? It´s not as if I did anything wrong - I was offered something and I took it.

Why I did it? Why did I turn? Why did I turn when I had the best friends anyone could ever have? When I had a bright future?

One reason.

Jealousy.