My Revenge

My Revenge

It was in Seventh Year that I finally realised. I hated James, Sirius and even Remus. Yes, I, Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail, hated the other Marauders. I can't say why it struck at that particular moment, or why I hadn't realised it before, or why I realised it at all, but all of a sudden, I knew that I hated them more than anything else. For seven years, I had followed them around, but I had never really been part of them. I had been watching from the sidelines, admiring them, complimenting them, but never really being them. I would go out of my way to say hi to them in the morning, make them seem special, but they never went out of their way to even notice me. I had always thought they were so great, but all along, they just thought of me as little Peter, hanging around with them, annoying little Peter. And everyone else just saw me as the same, a thick little kid, starstruck by being allowed within five yards or the great James Potter and Sirius Black. And I'm ashamed to admit I suppose I was. And that's why I never saw what prats they were before then. But I saw. Oh I saw.

But I wasn't going to make it easy for them. I wanted revenge for all the wasted years of hanging around people who didn't want me there, people who didn't care. So I pretended nothing had happened. I went on their little full moon trips, hung around with them, pretended they were the greatest things since wizardry itself. But all the time, I was planning my revenge. I watched the Slytherins, listened to their conversations about how they would become Death eaters. I knew that if I became a Death Eater, I wouldn't be ignored, I would be respected and even feared. I craved the feeling of power that being a death Eater would produce. So I waited. I waited until the year was over, until I knew enough to become a Death Eater. And I sustained myself by thinking about how it would feel to murder Sirius, James and Remus. I saw their faces screaming, begging, every night. And I'd never enjoyed anything more.

So it came that on that Halloween night, a year before I finally got my revenge, I was standing with other men and women with cloaks over their heads and forearms bared. So it came that I spoke the vows and had the Dark Mark burnt on my arm. And I meant those vows. I really did. I wanted to kill people, to have power over life and death. So I went through with what I would never have considered just a few years back. I became a Death Eater.

I had to kill several other people before I had my chance. I didn't mind. I grew to love the feeling of anticipation before the gush of tremendous power rushed out of my wand in a flash of green light. I became addicted to the feeling of power over all that you get when you know that you are about to extinguish a life forever. The terrified screams of victims were music to my ears. The pleading faces put me to sleep at night with their hideous beauty. And all the time, I waited for my chance. And it came. It came in a bigger way than I could ever have hoped for.

When the Dark Lord heard about the prophecy and figured out whom it was referring to, he came to me, knowing my past connections with the baby's father. I didn't even have to put the slightest bit of effort into it. He came to me. It was fate, meant to be. And so I planned my revenge.

Knowing the Marauders for so long helped me a lot in planning their downfalls. I knew that they would do anything to protect each other. When Lily and James had to hide, I knew Sirius would become Secret Keeper. I knew he would never give away their location to anyone Dark. But he would tell me. I was still one of their best friends. I knew I would need to know them if I were to have my revenge. So I suggested to James that perhaps the Dark Lord would guess that Sirius was Secret Keeper. I said that it would be much better if someone less conspicuous and obvious should be Secret Keeper. He played right into my hands. He asked who. I suggested myself and he thought about it, talked it over with Lily. I knew what they were going to say though. Their safety and the safety of their child was the most important thing to them and they trusted me as much as Sirius. So they made the swap and didn't tell a soul, not even Remus or Dumbledore. After all, my logic was undeniable. But they should have known. The world isn't logical. They were fools. And my plan was working perfectly.

The rest would fall into place after that. Sirius would know that I had betrayed the Potters and he would be so angry he wouldn't be thinking straight. He'd come straight for me. But I would be waiting and as soon as he found me, I would scream at him and accuse him of betraying the Potters. I wouldn't stay for long, just long enough to give the muggles the impression that Sirius was the guilty one and not long enough to give Sirius the chance to give his (true) side of the story. He would pull his wand out at me, and I would make an explosion. I would cut off my finger, transfigure and run away. No one would ever know I was alive. As for Remus, I didn't need to do anything about him. Living without your two best friends would be enough, I decided, especially thinking that one of them killed the other. And so it was, my plan. The foolproof plan.

I told the Dark Lord where the Potters lived. I didn't tell him about my plan, just the information he needed. And he went to the house and killed them. Sirius came after me just as I knew he would and he got sent to Azkaban for 'killing' me and thirteen muggles. I escaped.

But it was all entirely their fault. Perhaps, if they'd paid a little more attention to me in school, I wouldn't have become a Death Eater. Perhaps they'd be alive.

There was one problem. The boy lived. But I could fix that. I'd wait until I got my chance. I was good at that, I'd done it before. And so I'm waiting. But I know my chance will come. One day, I will kill the boy. And it will all be because they never bothered to notice me. Always pay attention to the small things in friendship. Always include your friends. You might just save a soul.