From Out of the Past Is the Future Born

Chapter Four

"Sleep, my little one..."

Mae leaned over the little nineteen-month-old child fast asleep in her crib and gently kissed her forehead. Tucking the blanket around her, she sighed. They'd made it through another day.

Now they needed to make it through the night... then they'd have to make it through tomorrow... and keep going for who knew how long...

Mae turned away from the baby and slipped into the hall and down to the kitchen. After pouring herself a glass of wine, she left the glass on the counter and took the bottle with her into the living room, curling up on the couch.

With a sigh she reached into her pocket and grabbed a cigarette.

She lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, savouring in the calm it brought to her.

The little Muggle radio she kept on the mantle of the fireplace played a slow, mellow tune. Closing her eyes, Mae relaxed in the comfort only cigarettes, wine, and Muggle music could bring her anymore.

Beep, beep, beep...

Her eyes flew open. Someone was there. They were in the yard. She set down the cigarette and wine bottle and grabbed her wand.

Beep, beep, beep...

There's a shadow on the front step...

Mae stood and walked towards the front door, wand held firmly in her hand.

"Translucio," she muttered, and the front door faded into a ghost, revealing a man standing on her doorstep wearing a heavy cloak. He had his head leaned up against the door, as if he was too exhausted to even stand upright.

She watched as he raised his wand to the door and tapped it four times, muttered the correct password, and the door clicked open. He pulled his hood away from his face and Mae let out a small cry.

She dropped her wand and flung herself into the arms of the man standing in her doorway.

"It's over, Mae," he whispered into her hair, holding her tightly.

"Sirius!" she whispered.

He pulled back from her, shut the door behind him, and listened as the magical lock slipped into place.

He smiled softly at Mae's tearstained face. "Dumbledore's spy said he's gone into hiding. He's weakened almost to nothing, Mae. Voldemort is gone. James and Lily and Harry are safe now. Dumbledore has reversed the Fidelius Charm and James and Lily want us all to come over tomorrow, including Remus and Peter! We can all be together again!"

Mae smiled up at him. "That's wonderful...I've missed you so much! This past year has been so... almost too much to bear..."

"I knew you could do it, Mae." Sirius smiled and walked over to the wine bottle set haphazardly on the couch. He picked it up, took a drink, and handed it to Mae for a drink.

"How's my little girl?" he asked happily.

"She's sleeping," Mae replied. Sirius took off his cloak and flung it onto a chair as he nearly skipped down the hall to Gwen's room. Mae sighed, picked up her unfinished cigarette and collapsed back on the couch, feeling complete exhaustion flood through her body.

Beep, beep, beep...

Someone else is here?

Beep, beep, beep...

Who the hell...

Beep, beep, beep...

Mae's eyes snapped open, her hand wrapped tightly around her wand. Rolling over, she glanced at the watch on her nightstand, which was softly emitting a little beeping sound, intended to wake her up for the day.

Groaning softly, she rolled out of bed and shut off the alarm.

"Mae will be along in a little while; she was finishing up some lesson plans when I left," Remus said as he took off his cloak and hung it up.

"Ah, she's still a procrastinator, eh?" James asked, laughing.

"Actually, she's two full months ahead of what most Professors usually are."

"Good for her! So she's really into this teaching thing. That's great!"

"Yeah."

"So," James began, walking into the sitting room, glancing around for Lily. Then he asked quietly, "Has she said anything about last night?"

Remus shook his head. "Not a whisper. But I'm afraid it didn't go too well. She buried herself in her work and she's been moody all day. In fact, she chucked The Potionmaster's Encyclopedia at my head the last time I asked," he added with a chuckle. "Did Sirius say anything when he dropped off Harry and Gwen this morning?"

"Nope. He was in and out of here in two minutes."

"What are you two talking about?" Lily asked as she walked into the sitting room, floating a tray of wineglasses in the air ahead of her.

"Nothing," James said quickly, glancing at Remus.

Lily arched a delicate eyebrow, but chose to ignore the obvious cover-up for the time being. She began to pour each of them a glass of wine.

"So where is Mae?" she asked.

"She'll be along in a bit. She had some stuff to finish up," Remus replied.

Lily sighed and sat down on the sofa. "How is she doing? She doesn't talk much about herself, just about Hogwarts and Order stuff."

"Well, that's pretty much all she'll talk about to me, too," Remus said. Lily handed him a glass of wine, and he took a sip.

"How do you think she's doing?" Lily asked. "I mean, you've probably talked to her more than the rest of us have since she's been back. Plus, you're so good at reading people." Lily smiled at him.

Remus chuckled. James had left the room to go to the loo. "She's the same as she used to be when it comes to expressing her feelings. She keeps it all in. I know she's nervous when it comes to Gwen, as well as when it comes to the rest of us."

"What do you mean? She's still nervous around the rest of us?"

"Of course. I mean, we've all changed. And I think we all know we can't go back to the way we were. She's afraid to do anything other than what's necessary, or strike up a conversation about anything other than work or the Order. I know she wants nothing more than to be best friends with you and James again, and not have to worry about what she says or does around everyone."

"And Sirius?"

Remus sighed and sat down in an armchair across from her. "I'm not sure. If there's one thing Mae is adamant about not talking about, it's Sirius."

"Do you think she wants to get back together with him?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think she still loves him?"

Remus chuckled. "Hell, Lily. I have no idea... I'd like to say yes..."

Lily gave him a small smile. "Do you think Sirius wants to be with her again? I mean, I know he still loves her..."

"He does. He's just as nervous about the whole thing as she is, though. But I don't know. I wish I knew what happened last night..." Remus trailed off as he realized he'd said too much, and then realized it was exactly what Lily wanted to hear.

"What about last night?" Lily asked promptly.

James walked into the room just then, and stopped, glancing between his wife and Remus.

Remus laughed nervously. "Ah, bugger..."

Lily turned to her husband and asked innocently. "Know about anything interesting that might have happened last night, James?"

"Uh..." James ran a hand through his hair and glanced out the window into the pouring rain. "Oh, erm--" He quickly recovered and strolled over to the sofa and sat beside Lily. Shrugging, he said lightly, "It's nothing. Sirius just asked Mae to stick around for a few minutes--"

"He found Mae's mum's old phonograph and wanted to show her," Remus said quickly and shrugged.

Lily raised both of her eyebrows. "And how long was she there? Remus?" She gave him the look that only Lily did so well.

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "I--erm... I'm not sure, exactly... I went straight to bed when I got home..."

Lily sighed. "You two were in on this?" She watched her husband and Remus exchange a glance.

"It was Sirius' idea--" James said quickly.

"Do either of you know what his intentions were?" Lily demanded quietly.

"To get her alone," James replied quickly. Lily looked shocked.

"It's not the way that sounded!" Remus said quickly. "Sirius just wanted her to trust him again! It's obvious she's avoiding him. He just wanted a few minutes alone with her."

Lily's expression softened. A few moments later, Harry and Gwen came stomping down the stairs and into the sitting room.

"Mum? Oh, hey, Remus," Harry said, smiling. "Can we have a Butterbeer?"

"Wait until dinner; it'll be ready in a little while," Lily replied.

Harry sighed and the two ran back up the stairs to Harry's room.

Lily watched the two run back upstairs. She sighed. "Do you think everything went okay last night?"

"I have no idea," Remus replied quietly.

A few minutes later, Lily looked out the window and saw Sirius Apparate just outside their gate, standing in the pouring rain.

"Sirius is here--" Lily began, but stopped as another figure appeared next to him, causing him to jump. "And so is Mae..."

James and Remus both turned their heads quickly to look out the window...

"I wish it would stop raining," Harry moaned as he stared out from his bedroom window. Gwen was lying on his bed, tossing an old, battered Quaffle up in the air and catching it.

"Yeah, me too. I want to play Quidditch!"

Harry nodded as he continued to stare out the window. Suddenly he saw someone appear outside the front gate, followed shortly after by another figure.

"Your dad and mum are here," he said, watching them.

"Oh, goody," Gwen muttered sarcastically.

Harry squinted trying to see through the rain. "They're just standing there in the rain... talking..."

Gwen caught the Quaffle and sat up. "What?"

"Come here," he said. "They haven't even come in the gate yet. And it's pouring outside!"

Gwen jumped off the bed and ran to the window. "What could they possibly need to talk about in the rain?"

Harry shrugged. "Maybe something they don't want anyone else to hear?"

Gwen narrowed her eyes and glared through the rain-streaked window...

"Mae!" Sirius gasped, shoving his hand into his cloak pocket.

"Sirius," Mae said, surprised. "Goodness, I nearly landed on top of you, didn't I?"

Sirius smiled. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Mae felt her cheeks flush. "So, are you going inside, or are you just going to stand out here and get soaked?" she asked.

"You know how I enjoy the rain."

Mae smiled back at him. After an awkward silence, Mae tore her eyes away from his and made to push the gate open, but he caught her hand.

"Should we talk about last night?" he asked quietly.

Mae glanced around. "In the rain--"

"It's better than indoors with all of the extra ears around to overhear."

"Sirius," Mae began, flashing him a nervous smile, "I'm freezing my ass off out here--we can talk later..."

Sirius nodded, but his smile faded a little. "Right. Well, let's get you inside, then."

Sirius opened the front door and called, "Guess who nearly Apparated right on top of me?"

James, Lily, and Remus smiled up at them from their seats and then stood to greet them, acting as if they hadn't been spying from the window.

Sirius took Mae's cloak from her and hung it up along with the others. Just then, Gwen and Harry came racing down the stairs once again, and Gwen ran straight past Mae and gave her dad a huge hug.

Mae was watching the two of them fondly when Lily's voice suddenly cut through to her.

"Mae, would you like to help me finish up dinner?"

Mae jumped, tore her eyes away from her daughter and Sirius, and nodded, stepping around James, Harry, and Remus to follow Lily to the kitchen. The smell of the roast pork in the oven filled the room.

"Mmm, it smells delicious, Lil," Mae said.

"Thanks, hon," Lily replied. "Would you like something to drink? We have wine out in the living room, Butterbeer--"

"I'll take a glass of wine. It's out in the living room--"

"Not anymore," Sirius said, walking into the kitchen, carrying two glasses of wine. He handed one to Mae. "Thought you might like that."

Mae smiled. "Thanks."

"Yes, thank you, Sirius," Lily began, picking up a kitchen knife to start chopping lettuce. "But you know the rules, no men in the kitchen until after dinner, or else there won't be any food left for everyone else come dinnertime."

Sirius raised his hands. "Alright, alright. But are you sure you don't need a nice set of muscles to help out with anything?" Mae and Lily laughed.

"We'll be fine, Sirius," Lily said.

"Okay." Sirius watched Mae as she turned around to find something to help with. She seemed happy, and very willing to help Lily out, but he could tell she was hiding.

Sirius sighed and headed back down the hall.

Lily glanced toward the doorway to make sure Sirius was gone as she handed a few carrots to Mae for her to peel and cut.

"So, are you excited to start teaching tomorrow?" she asked.

Mae gave a nervous laugh. "Yes and no... I'm excited, but I'm also worried I'll be terrible at it."

Lily smiled. "I'm sure you'll be just fine. Harry and Gwen can't wait until tomorrow."

"I'm sure. I remember our first day. I didn't like you for--what? Two years? But then you grew on me."

"Yeah," Lily recalled fondly. "I never understood you, hanging out with James and them."

"Ah, how people change."

Lily smiled and glanced at her friend. She was chopping the carrots with a small smile on her face. Maybe she really is okay, she thought.

"So, I heard you stuck around Sirius' last night after everyone else left."

Mae looked up from the carrot she was chopping. The tone of Lily's voice concerned her.

Cautiously, Mae replied, "He wanted to show me he'd kept my mum's old phonograph for me. I was only there for about ten minutes. Who told you?"

Lily gave her a small smile. "Remus let it slip."

Mae laughed. "I knew Remus must've been in on that."

Lily didn't reply right away. She fussed around the kitchen for a few minutes in silence before asking lightly, "Did anything happen?"

Mae felt her face turn red. "In ten minutes?" she replied jokingly. Lily turned around and leaned up against the kitchen counter, watching Mae start peeling a potato.

Feeling Lily watching her, Mae glanced up at her quickly. "Okay... I kissed him."

"Is that it?" Lily asked carefully.

Mae set the half-peeled potato down and turned to face Lily. "Why are you questioning me like this, Lily?"

"Just be careful, Mae."

"What do you mean?"

"You have no idea what kind of wreck Sirius has been since you left. What you did - "

"Well this is none of your business - "

"Yes it is." Lily stared determinedly at Mae. "I'm not trying to cause any problems, Mae. But you need to understand. I know what he's been through, and I don't want to see him hurt again. And what about Gwen? If you two were suddenly together again, how will Gwen react to that?"

Mae sighed.

"Just take your time, Mae, that's all," Lily said gently.

"You're right," Mae whispered.

Mae jumped as the doorbell rang.

Lily cleared her throat. "I should go get that," she said lightly.

Mae forced a smile. "I'm going to run to the loo."

Mae returned from the bathroom to find Arthur, Molly, and Natalie in the sitting room with James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius. She heard footsteps and laughter from upstairs and knew the Weasley children had joined Harry and Gwen.

"--certainly am ready for the kids to get back to Hogwarts!" Molly was saying. "Then I'll only have Ginny to deal with."

"Who can be quite a handful herself," Arthur added, smiling.

"And probably will be worse what with all of the others gone! Just the other day, when we went to get school supplies, she was grabbing a second copy of everything we bought for Ron, assuring us that she would be going with him!"

Everyone laughed.

"Ah, just toss her in a trunk and send her along!" Sirius joked.

Molly laughed. "I'm sure she'd love that!"

The conversation went on as Sirius leaned over to Mae.

"Can we talk now that you're dry?" he whispered. Mae hesitated before nodding. Sirius stood up and motioned for her to follow him back into the kitchen.

Sirius waited as Mae shut the door behind her, but before he could say anything, Mae turned around.

"I need to apologize, Sirius," she began. "About last night. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you in that position."

Sirius watched her for a moment, slightly disappointed, then nodded. "You're probably right."

"It's just that, we need to think of Gwen. I mean, she's not exactly too fond of me at the moment, and I think that if she were to find that you and I were 'back together' she might not take it too well... we need to take it slow, for everyone's sake."

Sirius nodded. "Right."

Mae nodded in return, not knowing what to say next. They stood in the kitchen, silent.

The door opened suddenly, causing them to jump.

"Oh, sorry," James began. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

Mae and Sirius both shook their heads. "No, nothing at all," Mae replied.

"Good! Lily sent me in to check on the muffins she has in that damn Muggle contraption," he said as he strolled over to the oven. "She told me to take them out so they don't get burnt - ah, bugger."

Mae and Sirius glanced at each other over James' head, smiling. The muffins were burnt black.

"Wake up, Gwen-bug! The day you've been waiting for has arrived!"

Sirius walked over to Gwen's bed and flopped down on the edge to shake his daughter gently awake. The mess of curly brown hair groaned and rolled over to glare at her father, who seemed much too happy for seven in the morning.

"I don't wanna--"

"Sure you do! You've been bugging me about this day for years! And I can't believe it's finally here, but it is, so why don't you get up, wash up, and meet me downstairs for breakfast! I made it all myself!"

"So that's why I was dreaming of burnt pancakes," she muttered, her face still buried in a pillow. Sirius laughed.

"Come on, it's not that bad!"

Gwen walked into the kitchen to see her father munching on a piece of bacon, reading the Daily Prophet. She flopped down in front of a plate stacked high with un-burnt pancakes, a clump of scrambled eggs, and a pile of bacon. She sighed and took a sip of her orange juice, and then just stared at the plate before her.

Sirius glanced around his paper. "Why aren't you eating?"

Gwen shrugged. "Not hungry."

Sirius sighed and set down his paper. "Okay, Gwen-bug, what's wrong?"

Gwen shrugged again.

"Are you nervous?"

Another shrug.

"It's normal to be nervous, or a little scared, but you'll see me at Christmas! And Remus will be there, and Harry, and Ron--"

"And her."

Sirius hesitated a moment. "By 'her' you mean your mother?"

Gwen was silent.

Sirius sighed and took a sip of his coffee. "Gwen, I didn't know you were this worried about it. Why didn't you talk to me about it?"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings, I guess," she replied quietly.

"Aw, sweetie--"

"I saw you two talking last night. Out in rain. Why in the rain? What were you talking about?

Sirius stared into her curious brown eyes, surprised. "Uh, nothing, it was just kind of... funny that we showed up at the same time."

Gwen picked up her fork and nudged her scrambled eggs thoughtfully. "Are you two going to get back together?"

Sirius nearly choked on his coffee. "Now, that is-- er--" he mumbled, then paused. "What would you think if we did?"

Gwen stared at him silently.

"I mean," he added hurriedly, "it wouldn't be any time soon! But say at some point, after you got to know her better and got more comfortable with her, and she and I figured out our own issues..."

Gwen furrowed her eyebrows. "Like in five years or something?"

Sirius barked a laugh, then stopped quickly. "Uh... who knows? When the time is right, I guess."

Gwen sighed and finally took a bite of her eggs. "I dunno... I guess I wouldn't have a problem with it if I actually liked her."

"I know you'd like her if you got to know her, Gwen-bug."

"Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen too soon," she replied before shovelling another clump of eggs in her mouth.

Sirius sighed and went back to his paper.

A few minutes later, Gwen asked, "What am I supposed to call her? 'Mum' or 'Professor McPhay' or--"

"In class you need to call her 'Professor', but if you're talking to her alone then you can call her 'Mum'--"

"I don't know if I want to call her Mum," Gwen whispered.

"Well, she is your mum. What have you been calling her?"

"I haven't had to call her anything. I've hardly talked to her at all."

"Why not?"

"I don't know what to talk to her about! I don't know what she likes, what she doesn't like, what she does in her free time! I don't know who she is!"

Sirius looked at his daughter sadly, watching as tears welled up in her eyes.

"And she doesn't seem to want to talk to me, either!" she added defensively.

"Ah, now that's not true! She's just feeling the same way you are, she doesn't know how to talk to you."

"Well she's never going to learn unless she tries!" Gwen said stubbornly.

Sirius smiled. "And neither are you."

"Here, this one's empty," Ron said, peering into a compartment.

Ron, Harry, and Gwen shoved their trunks onto the luggage racks, then peered out the window at their parents standing on the platform.

"Bye!" Harry yelled out the window.

"Bye Mum, Dad, Ginny!" Ron hollered.

"Bye Dad!" Gwen whispered as she waved.

"Have fun!"

"Behave yourselves!"

As the train pulled away from the platform, Harry, Ron, and Gwen flopped down in their seats.

"Finally!" Ron said, exasperated. "We're going to Hogwarts!"

"I can't wait!" Harry said happily.

Gwen just smiled. "How long do you think it'll take?"

Ron shrugged. "Fred told me it took all day, but Percy said it's only a few hours."

Somebody knocked on the compartment door and slid it open. "Care for any snacks, you three?"

All three of them jumped up, rummaged in their pockets for some money, and got handfuls of sweets.

A while later, another knock came at the door. It was slid open to reveal a girl with bushy brown hair and a short, plump boy standing nervously behind her.

"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville has lost his." She pointed at the boy behind her.

"No, we haven't," Harry replied.

"Well, I have my toad," Ron said, pulling his toad out of his pocket. The toad simply sat in his palm looking irritated at having been pulled out of its comfy little pocket.

The girl sighed and sat down next to Gwen, staring at Ron's toad. "Well, that doesn't help, if he's yours. Sorry, Neville, we've looked in every compartment."

Neville stood in the doorway, looking unsure of what to do next.

"Why don't you join us, Neville? I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere. I'm Harry Potter, by the way," Harry said, moving over to make room for Neville. "And this is Ron Weasley and Gwen Black."

"And I'm Hermione Granger," the girl said.

Neville looked around, gave a small groan and plopped down beside Harry. "My Gran's going to kill me."

Ron's toad croaked.

"Ew, I think your toad has gas," Hermione said.

"What?" Ron replied. "Hopper doesn't have gas! He's just croaking!"

Suddenly a foul smell filled the compartment. Gwen and Harry laughed, Neville gave a small smile, and Hermione just sat with a smirk on her face. Ron looked disgusted.

"Hopper! Errg!" he exclaimed as he shoved the poor toad back into his pocket. "Shut it, you two!" he said, glaring at Harry and Gwen.

"Well anyway," Hermione said, standing up. "You should probably get your uniforms on. I reckon we should be arriving shortly."