Eight Shades of Green

Chapter 4- Loves' Punishment, Loves' Reward

Harry had no idea how long he had been sitting on the deep sill of his bedroom window, but he knew it was long enough to have thoroughly stiffened his legs and buttocks. It was now dark outside and the stars were twinkling a thousand miles above him, mapping out the night sky. At first he his thoughts had been focused on the excellent Quidditch match of the afternoon, where Gryffindor had thoroughly trounced Ravenclaw two hundred and fifty points to a hundred and thirty, but he found his concentration waning and his mind slipping into other things. The day had not been entirely as he had planned, the arrival of Sirius and Dumbledore's meeting had thrown him somewhat. He was glad to see Sirius, so glad it was almost a feeling of ecstasy, but it had been quite tiring.

He thought back to the good old days, now over twenty five years ago, to a time where he didn't know Sirius, a time when his life had been all but miserable. The life of an orphan with no real family, however many friends they have, can never be an entirely content one. Then, one summer in his third year at Hogwarts, his path had crossed with fate and he met his godfather. He remembered how easy it had been, when he had realised that Sirius had been telling the truth, to trust him completely.

Things had not stayed so perfect, though. After two years of being on the run and a year spent confined to number twelve, Grimmauld Place, it had seemed as though it was all over. Despite all the horrific things Harry had done, seen and witnessed since then, he still considered the day at the Department of Mysteries to be one of the darkest of his life. The months that followed it were close to unbearable, but Time, renowned for being the greatest healer of all, had at some point intervened, and made life seem altogether better again. Although not a day had gone by when Sirius had not been with him in his heart and mind, Harry had found that he could get on with living again.

Things, however, are not as simple, nor final, as they may seem at first, and Harry learned this the following year. His sixth year at Hogwarts had been really tough, and it had taken a lot longer to trust Sirius. Even now, Harry did not know if he had truly forgiven him. They were still almost as close as they had been before. Almost. It was the tiny voice of doubting in the back of Harry's mind that had prevented them from really being as close as they had before. Also, he had been older, and thought and felt differently at sixteen than he had at thirteen. He did love Sirius, very much so, but he wondered if he could completely trust him.

*

"Bella, you made a promise to me. And you broke that promise. How do you plead?"

"Innocent. And don't call me Bella." Rodolphus Lestrange gave her a petulant look, pouted, and climbed out of the bed. She glared at him witheringly and returned to reading her book, 'Animagi for dummies.'

"Awww," he said, "Please?"

"For the last time, no!"
"I dunno why you're reading that book anyway. Who'd want to turn into some dumb animal?" Bellatrix sighed, looked over the reading glasses she was wearing and gave him another nasty look.

"You thought it was a good idea, until you found out that studying for it would leave me less time to indulge your disgusting fetishes. Why would anyone gain pleasure from pretending to interrogate someone else in a courtroom fashion, anyway?"

"It's fun," he replied. For such an evil man he could be very childish. "And it makes me horny. You like me like that, don't you?"

"I like it when you act like a grown-up, not like your five-year-old son," she said, pointing to the door, through which Joseph was sleeping.

"He's more fun than you are." Bellatrix lay down her book and gave him another nasty look. She knew that there was no way she could study any more tonight, that as long as she was awake he would try to get her to play along with his twisted little fantasies, so she went to turn the light off. He stood in front of the switch and grasped her by the wrist as she attempted to reach it. She was a tall woman but he was very muscular, and her willowy limbs were no match for his strong biceps.

"You are going to allow me my little game, or I am going to hurt you." His voice was filled with a rage she had only heard a few times before, mostly before he had killed someone.

"No," she said, her voice masking the horrible fear that had flooded her body. "If you hurt me I'll leave. I'll take Joseph with me too." This did not seem to alter his mood in the least; in fact, it seemed to make him happier. He was smiling, an angry, victimising, patronising smile.

"All right. You do that. You go trotting off, meanwhile I'll be telling our, well my, master about all that gadding around you've been doing with Black." She looked horrified, but her voice did not falter.

"I had to talk to him, to get in his good books. It was all part of the plan."

"Seemed more friendly than that to Herridan." Damn Herridan, she thought, trust him to spy on me as well as Sirius. She kicked herself. She had called him Sirius. Luckily, Rodolphus was no Legilimens.

"I spent over twelve years of my life in Azkaban for the service of my Lord. Do you think I'd be so stupid as to pursue Black, a worthless do-gooder?" I'm sorry, Sirius, she thought, I'm not trying to hurt you. It's what's best for Joseph that matters now. And she knew that Sirius would think she had made the right decision. Joseph was more important than anything, than his safety, even more important than the Dark Lord. Joseph was the embodiment of their love for one another. They were cousins, they were enemies, and it was wrong, so very wrong. But why did it feel so right?

Joseph was the most important thing now, but she could not protect him from everything. She could not prevent him from joining forces with the Dark Lord, if that was his destiny, she could not prevent him from corruption by Rodolphus. And she could not prevent him from seeing his mother lying bleeding and bruised on the floor whilst his father beat her with a thick walking stick.