When Like Isn't Enough

WHEN LIKE ISN'T ENOUGH

Ginny walked quickly from her dormitory to breakfast. She was nearly late, but she didn't break into a run. She really wasn't too worried about making it on time; she wasn't that hungry anyway.

Ginny was in her sixth year at Hogwarts. She had grown into a confident, beautiful young woman. Her hair was past her waist and was a deep red that shone fiery colors of orange and bronze when it caught the light. She was of average height- to females anyway. She was five foot five. To the boys she was short, but she had no problem with that. Shoe styles included extremely high heels and she thoroughly enjoyed being able to wear whatever she felt like and still be able to look up to all the boys in her life.

Gone was the little girl that had blushed when Harry Potter looked at her, but what wasn't gone was the crush. It wasn't a crush anymore, but it was still there. Ever since Ron and Hermione had got together, Harry felt like a sort of third wheel, and so he sought refuge in Ginny's friendship. Harry and Ginny had grown to be very close, and she was so sure that he liked her, but he never made any moves beyond everyday things. They were close and they spent a lot of time together. They walked to class with each other, talking. They ate together and Harry helped her with her homework when she couldn't work it out for herself.

Harry was not a flirt; she knew that. He had extremely high morals and that impressed her. He was so good looking, and every girl knew it, but no girl tried to get him. They knew they couldn't. Besides, it was Harry and Ginny that were close, not Harry and the other girls. Ginny was the only girl Harry spent time with, and lately Ginny had noticed a change in their relationship- for the better.

Usually, Harry held back from any kind of emotional attachment except for friendship. Girls knew better than to try to hug him; he would deal with it if he had to, but he steered clear of it if he could. It wasn't just hugging--girls felt unconsciously forbidden to touch him at all, Ginny included.

However, just a few days ago, that had changed, where Ginny was concerned. She wasn't sure why it had changed, but she was thrilled about it. For the whole day Harry had been overly sweet. His face had lit up every time he had seen her and they spent even more time than usual together. And even though it was a strange thing for her to notice, Ginny had noticed that he allowed her to get in much closer proximity to him. He had let her run her hands through his hair to get something out of it when usually he'd react oddly to such a gesture. While he was standing talking to his friends she had climbed up on a chair behind him to accommodate his five foot eleven frame and leaned on his shoulders and rested her chin on his head- and he didn't move at all or seem to mind it.

Harry had had a free class during the last class of the day and Ginny was free to leave from hers, since it was just review work. She had gone to Gryffindor Tower- where else? Harry, naturally, had been there. They had sat (quite close to each other) and talked for the remaining half an hour of the class. It had been special for Ginny, that he had liked being with her so much that he'd stayed to talk to her and they'd talked for quite awhile about different things. They'd teased each other a lot. She'd threatened to tickle him once and instead of letting her carry out her threat, he'd tickled her. He'd never done that before. They'd been just little things- but Ginny was thrilled that things had progressed so well--look how far away they'd been from this point just two years ago.

But now--Ginny was still happily thinking of how good the previous couple days had been- but she was having second thoughts. There was a boy in her Divination class who seemed pretty interested in her, and she had to admit that she was interested in him too. He was very good-looking and extremely sweet to her. Even though her relationship with Harry had changed a little, she was pretty sure that he would still never make any moves towards having an actual relationship. She was trying to switch her affections to someone else, so she wouldn't have to go through the heartbreak Harry was causing her, even if he didn't mean to.

Ginny sped up a bit, nearly jogging as she entered the Great Hall. Breakfast was nearly over.

"Hey, Ginny!" Harry called. "I grabbed you a piece of toast. Ready to go to class?" Ginny nodded.

"Fanksh," she mumbled around a mouthful of toast. She and Harry turned towards the direction in which Professor Trelawney's classroom lay.

"Sorry I didn't make it to breakfast," she said, swallowing her last bite of food.

"Hey, s'no problem. I like to sleep in too. I got about five hours of sleep last night," Harry answered.

"Five? And I thought I had it bad at seven... What kept you up?"

"The usual. Quidditch practice, prefect meeting, homework, homework, homework..." Ginny chuckled.

"Poor baby." Harry laughed with her.

"Yeah, that's me. Hey, I'll see you after class, all right? I leave at this intersection." He gestured towards the hallway that split off from the hall they were already in.

"Sure. See you later." They parted ways. Ginny walked the rest of the way to her class alone.

The first person she saw as she walked in was Scott Cooper, the boy from Ravenclaw she was interested in. She smiled happily at him.

"Hey Scott!" she said enthusiastically.

"Hey--Ginny..." he said, somewhat hesitantly. "Um, could I talk to you? For a minute?"

"Sure," Ginny said, somewhat bewildered as he took her arm and steered her out of the classroom.

"Uh... I just wanted to ask you..." Ginny knew then what he was going to ask. And in a flash, she knew more than anything that she didn't want him to say it. She opened her mouth to speak, but he kept going before she could get it out.

"I wanted to ask you if you would go out with me." He looked at her, half pleadingly, half scared. She looked back into his brown eyes and felt worse than she'd ever felt. Here was a boy she'd tricked herself into thinking she liked, and now she knew that she could never do this to him. She couldn't.

"Scott..." She paused. How in the world was a girl supposed to say what she had to say?

"I- I don't know how to say this. I liked you. I mean, I do like you. But I can't do this. I thought I could. I thought I could forget about him and like somebody else, but it wouldn't be fair, Scott. I just can't do that to you. I can't be with you when I- I love someone else. I'm so sorry, Scott... I'm so sorry, really."

Scott looked at her, face ashen. "Y- you can't?"

Ginny shook her head miserably. "No, Scott- I'm so sorry. I just can't. I can't do that to anyone, least of all you."

He looked at her piteously. "If you ever- ever get over him, will you come back? To me? Please?"

Ginny's heart melted. "Oh, Scott..." Her eyes filled with tears. Darn it, darn it, darn it, why did she have to like Harry so much? "Yes, yes, I promise. If I can get over him--I'll come back. I really did like you. I mean, I really do like you, but I just-"

"You like him more." It was a statement, not a question.

"Well--yes." Ginny felt awful.

"Well." He sighed. "I guess it's better than nothing." He turned to go into the classroom.

"Scott-" He turned back to her. "Please, don't let this ruin our friendship?"

He nodded. "Okay. Promise."

Ginny smiled in relief. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

A small smile glimmered on his face, showing his happiness at making her happy and the wistfulness he felt at not being able to make her happy enough.

Ginny leaned against the wall, drained. Why?! she thought to herself furiously. Why can't I get over Harry? I just gave up one of the best boys I've ever met. And why? Because, she thought suddenly. Because I'm giving him up for someone even better. She sighed, and headed into class.

Ginny stumbled into the Common Room after Divination and flopped down into a chair. She felt awful and she knew it wouldn't change; at least not today. Harry came in soon after her, running up to his room to grab the right books for his next class. He came running down and glanced at Ginny.

"Hey Gin. I'm late, I've got to get to class, but I'll see you at lunch, okay?" Ginny nodded listlessly and stood up to follow him out of the portrait hole. She turned right and headed for her Potions class.

After an abysmal hour of Potions with Professor Snape, Ginny headed for Care of Magical Creatures.

Finally lunch rolled around. Ginny walked to the Great Hall alone, and slid into her place by Harry. She said nothing, only poked at her food and half listened to the conversation going on around her.

"Hey, Ginny," Harry said, by way of greeting. She glanced up at him.

"'Lo, Harry." She looked back down at her food, missing the puzzled expression that crossed his face. He shrugged, and leaned in to talk to Seamus and Dean about some Quidditch match that had taken place the previous weekend. After lunch, Harry leaned over to her again.

"Gin, are you ready for Herbology?" Ginny looked up.

"Herbology?" she said, disgusted. "Ugh." Harry looked startled. She ignored it. "Yeah, I guess I'm ready."

They walked from the Great Hall. Ginny didn't say a word. She was thinking, still thinking, as she had been all day. She felt absolutely terrible for doing what she had done to Scott, and she had no real reason to do it, since she had no proof that Harry did or ever would like her. She had just blown a chance with a perfectly good boy for no reason other than the deep love she had for another who would never love her. Her eyes filled and spilled over, and she walked on, tears silently running down her cheeks.

Harry looked at her in alarm. What was he supposed to say? He didn't know what was wrong and she obviously wasn't in the mood to explain it to him.

They walked in silence to her Herbology class. At the door of the greenhouse where he usually left her, Harry stopped her before she entered.

"Ginny..."

She didn't look at him. He hesitated, then pulled her into a hug. She stiffened, but didn't pull away. He let her go. He tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes but she looked away. With a sigh he let her go and turned to go to his own class.

Ginny looked after him as he walked away. She felt awful treating him like this too, but she felt a little hostile at him for being so sweet- and yet he was the reason she had turned down Scott.

Usually she went to the Common Room between Herbology and History of Magic, but Ginny decided to skip her usual stop today. She headed straight for History of Magic.

"Professor Binns," she asked, looking as piteous as she could. "Please, may I be excused today? I don't feel well." The ghost looked blearily at her.

"Why yes, Miss Weasley. Make sure to read up well on the Goblin Rebellion of the late 18^th century so you're well prepared for the test on Friday."

"Yes sir. Thank you." She turned, and retraced her steps until she reached the Fat Lady portrait.

"Schnickelfritz," she said, allowing the door to swing open. She entered, and looked around in relief at the empty room that greeted her. With a sigh she dropped her books on the nearest table and flopped down on the large couch in front of a roaring fire.

She sat there for fifteen minutes, just staring into the flames. Suddenly she heard footsteps on the stairs, abruptly jerking her out of her stupor. It was Harry. She stood up to leave, but he crossed the room and took hold of her arms before she could.

"No, Ginny. You are going to tell me exactly what is going on and I am going to help you work this out. I don't know what it is but you've been in an awful mood all day, and you were crying after lunch. What's wrong?"

Ginny sank down onto the couch, her eyes welling up again. Harry sat down beside her, wrapping his arms around her. Even through her depression she marveled at how easily he did this now. He'd never have done this before.

"Tell me," he said softly. She began to cry.

"I feel like such an awful person," she said softly, crying throughout.

"Why? What'd you do?" Harry said in confusion.

"I- well, there's this boy in my Divination class, and he's so sweet to me, and I wanted to like him so badly. I did like him, I really did. But- I don't know. I wanted to like someone so I could forget about another- someone. I was tired of feeling like I'd never get the boy I wanted, so I tried to like this other boy, and I did like him. But he asked me out today, and I couldn't. I couldn't do that to him."

"Do what?" Harry's voice was gentle.

"I couldn't go out with him. Not when I- not when I love someone else."

"Why aren't you with this someone else?" Harry asked innocently. Ginny looked up and almost laughed.

"If you only knew..." she said quietly. "He doesn't like me. Sometimes I thought he did. Often I thought he did, but he never made any move. I gave up. I have given up. I don't think he'll ever make any move. So I tried to like Scott. But I still love the other boy, and I'm so afraid that I always will and won't be able to be with someone else because of it..." She trailed off. Harry looked at her.

"Who's this boy that you love so much?"

"I can't... I can't tell you that."

*

Harry gazed into the fire. He could sympathize with what she was feeling... He loved Ginny; he had for several months, but no matter how much time they spent together, no matter what she did that made him feel hopeful- he still couldn't bring himself to ask her that one little question- or tell her that one little thing.

Hell, he thought bitterly. I can't do this forever. I can't just love her and not be with her. Sometime I've got to just- ask her. I have to. Do. It. Now. He turned to her before his nerve left him.

"Is it me?" She looked up at him, startled.

"What?" she whispered.

"Is it me. Do you love me?" he asked again. She looked back at him, seeming to not understand, but she nodded, slowly.

"Yes," she said, barely making any sound at all. "Yes, it's you." Her voice rose hysterically. "But I tried not to love you Harry, I really tried. I know you didn't want a girlfriend, I knew I shouldn't love you. I knew I didn't have the right and that you'd never love me back but I couldn't help it. Really, I couldn't."

"Shh..." he said soothingly. She fought his reprimand.

"No, no--I can't love you!! I can't! It'll ruin our friendship. I can't let this happen Harry, I like being friends with you too much. I won't let it ruin our friendship. Just forget this whole day Harry, forget it!! Pretend it never happened. Please!"

Harry shook his head. "No, Ginny. No, I'm not going to forget this."

She glared at him with a glare that only a Weasley could muster.

"Ginny-" he said helplessly. "Don't look at me like that. It's not fair. Look, can I tell you my part of the story?"

She relaxed slightly, still in his arms, and nodded.

"All right," she whispered. "Tell me." Harry began to speak.

"We've known each other forever, but we really only met last February, when Ron and Hermione started going out. We started as just friends, and then sometime later, a couple months I guess, I kind of started really noticing you, if you know what I mean. Then summer came, and I had to stay with the Dursleys for the whole time. Then this year- we were just like we had been for a while, but then we changed a little. It was like we were extra good friends then, and we were together all the time. Do you remember all those times you wanted to know what was wrong and I couldn't ever tell you? I told you it was stuff I couldn't really tell you?"

"Yes," Ginny said. "I used to get so frustrated. It depressed me when you were in a bad mood and it made it even worse when you wouldn't tell me why, when I always told you what was wrong."

"Well--those problems were you. We were friends, but I never knew if you liked me as more than a friend. I didn't know what to do. You seemed like you liked me, and yet it was never enough to convince me to ask you out.

"Then, just the other day it seemed like we'd moved up again. Like now we were almost- like going out or something, except we weren't. And I thought we never would be. But now... I'm scared to ask this Ginny, you might as well know that. But I have to know--you really do love me? Would you go out with me?"

Ginny stared at him. "No way," she said in shock. Harry's heart plummeted.

"What?" he said. "I thought-"

"No way. There's no way you can want to go out with me. I mean, it's like a dream come true. It's too good to be true. You're not serious, are you Harry?"

"I'm dead serious, Ginny."

"You're--" she stopped. "Yes!" She erupted into giggles, all signs of tears gone. "Yes! I'll go out with you!!" She stopped dead and turned to face him. She cleared her throat.

"Ahem, Mr. Potter. I believe there's something you've forgotten to tell me."

Harry looked at her in bewilderment. "What?" he asked. "What'd I forget?"

"All you did was ask me to go out with you. You didn't say why you wanted to go out with me."

Harry looked at her. Then comprehension dawned. "Ah..." he said. He stood up and picked her up around her waist and whirled her around. He set her down and looked her straight in the eye.

"Ginny--guess what? I love you."