Harry Potter and the Full Blooded Pimps: Spilled Potion

It was nearly three hours since Hermione and Malfoy had been locked in Snape's classroom serving detention together. This isn't Snape's style, Ron thought. Maybe he's making them do that bloody potion again. But still, she would have been back by now. Surely Hermione's wit would outweigh Malfoy's stupidity. Ron and Harry had failed miserably during class, so Snape gave them a zero. All Hermione and Malfoy did was argue, so Snape gave them both detention.

Thoughts of that ugly git Malfoy tormenting Hermione filled his head. He just wanted Hermione by his side and hear her scold him about waiting until tonight to do his essay. He longed for her gentle smile and the way her fingers would lightly touch his arm.

He would never admit this to anyone, but every year, his feelings got harder to hide. As he closed his eyes, he could feel the high he got every time he saw her. Her once "ugly duckling" features had faded, revealing a radiant young woman whose every feature, move, word, and thought was kismet. He was charmed by her endless wit and expected it from her, but he was astonished with every new piece of information or witty conversation.

A dreamy grin came to his pale face. He was glad no one else was in the common room to see this. Especially Harry. Knowing his luck, Harry would have the same dreamy grin because their thoughts would be identical. And Hermione would pick Harry. The famous Harry. Ron stopped himself. It wasn't Harry he needed to be worried about. It was Viktor Krum. Were he and Hermione still pen pals? He wondered if darling Vicky held a place in Hermione's untainted heart.

He sighed. Someday he would confess, but all he could do now was wait for her. Hermione Weasley. It didn't sound very good, he admitted. But there was a connection between them. He could feel it when he looked upon her beautiful complexion that was ornamented with her dazzling brown eyes.

Then the portrait hole swung open and his ravishing Hermione came through looking quite frazzled. Figures, Ron thought. Who wouldn't be frazzle after working with Malfoy for three hours? Before Ron even offered a hello, Hermione shot at him, "I have something to tell you." Would she be confessing her love for me? Ron thought. Or is it something bad? His red hair lowered to his eyebrows as his forehead wrinkled in worry. All he could manage was a nod. "Alright. Here goes," Hermione said, lowering her eyes to the floor. Great. She can't even look at me, Ron thought as Hermione lowered her head.

For a moment, there was nothing but silence between them.

"Well, what is it?" said Ron slowly. "Hermione...?"

When she brought her head up, Ron noticed for the first time since she walked through the portrait hole that she was in a fit state. She was very pale and her hair was in disarray. Ron also couldn't help noticing as his eyes locked on her luscious, beautiful lips that her pale pink lipstick was slightly smudged. Hermione finally opened her mouth as if to speak, but shut it again, obviously not knowing where to start.

"...It's ok Hermione, if you don't want to tell-"

"-Oh Ron, what am I going to do?" wailed Hermione as tears slowly began filling up her beautiful brown eyes. "I don't know what came over me! Me...him, Snape...it was... but I DIDN'T MEAN TO-"

"Whoa!! Slow down there, Hermione. Just take a deep breath and start from the beginning," said Ron gently, even though he was starting to get a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Hermione took a deep, shuddering breath and began, "I walked down to the dungeons alone today, dreading the after-school meeting with Malfoy..."

How did I get stuck doing this? Hermione asked herself as she walked as slowly as possible through the dimly-lit corridor leading to the Dungeons. But Hermione already knew the answer to that question- it was because of that despicable, incompetent schmuck called Malfoy. Oh, how she despised him! She half hoped that he would follow in his father's footsteps and become a Deatheater just so that she might be able to do something useful for the Order when she finally got the opportunity to bash his vile blonde head into a wall! Nothing could ever please her more! But yet...

"NO!" she told herself angrily. She hated every inch of him-from his perfectly disgusting feet to his greasy straw-like hair-she hated him!

Hermione put these angry thoughts aside as she rapped quietly on the dungeon door. Without waiting for an answer, she slowly pushed it open and stepped inside.

I won't talk to him! decided Hermione as she made her way toward the front of the classroom where Malfoy was sitting watching her with that ugly, evil smirk on his face. If I don't talk to him or give him any reasons to argue with me, we might be able to finish the potion with the hour! she thought angrily as she took the seat next to him and began preparing the ingredients for the Giglamatus potion. When Hermione wouldn't even glance his way, and he seemed to have gotten the hint that they wouldn't be speaking, Malfoy leaned back in his chair, propped his feet up on the desk and watched her closely as she began grinding the rosemary leaves. Although he was still wearing that awful smirk on his face, Hermione was rather relieved that he hadn't opened his foul mouth and that he wasn't going to lay his destructive hands on the difficult and delicate potion she was brewing, because if they got into another row like the one that morning, Snape would probably make her do detention for a month while only giving Malfoy lines.

As Hermione continued brewing their potion, Malfoy merely sat and watched her, which Hermione definitely didn't object to. Finally, after nearly and hour, she began the final step in the potion-making feeling relieved, because all she had to do was give it a few counter-clockwise turns, and she would finally be able to...

"Oh wait! Stop!" said Malfoy as he brought his feet off the desk and slammed them on the floor. "Hold on, you've got a hair..." he said as he got up and picked a loose hair that had fallen on her shirt. Then, with that God-awful smirk still on his face, he held the hair over the cauldron and let go. Hermione watched in furry as the perfect bright yellow of their Giglamatus potion turned slowly into a very dark blue-tainted by that one, tiny hair. Tainted by Malfoy.

"Evanesco," Hermione muttered softly, not letting any of her anger show in her voice or on her face as the once perfect potion disappeared.

Again, Hermione started that stupid potion over for the third time that day. Hermione's blood now boiled hotter than the flame beneath her cauldron, but yet she kept a strait face as she watched Malfoy take his seat, pretending that he never got up and ruined their potion in the first place. She was hating him more by the minute...

Have nearly finished the potion twice that day, Hermione was reaching the end of the very complicated brewing within about forty-five minutes. She was actually very pleased with herself for completing their Giglamatus potion in what had to be record-breaking time, but she was very wary of Malfoy and kept stealing glances at him to make sure he wasn't about to be the stupid git he was and ruin their nearly-completed potion. When Hermione was just about to complete the final counter-clockwise turn and looked up to see Malfoy's hand hovering mere inches above the cauldron, Hermione lost it.

"Pardon me Malfoy, but WHAT THE RUDDY HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" yelled Hermione as her cheeks turned a dark shade of red, and the pure anger and hate in her eyes gave her an almost maniac look.

"Ah! The Mudblood speaks!" said Malfoy in the sly voice she hated. Although Malfoy appeared unfazed that Hermione was shouting at him (in fact he almost looked triumphant), he slowly withdrew his hand from above the cauldron.

"Oh?!" said Hermione, her voice shaking with anger, "So am I allowed to finish our potion now KING DRACO, since you so GRACIOUSLY removed your hand didn't ruin the GOD BLESSED potion I've been working on for nearly TWO HOURS!!! THANK YOU OH MIGHTY ONE, FOR I DO NOT DESERVE SUCH MERCY! YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU FILTHY, PURE BLOODED HOG! Just out of curiosity, have you joined VOLDEMORT yet? HUH? Cause it will just be TOO BAD when you get chucked in AZKABAN or..." Hermione stopped short. Malfoy obviously wasn't expecting a dynamic outburst of such a magnitude, for that sly, nonchalant expression that was on his face seconds before, had slowly evaporated into what Hermione recognized as momentary blind fear. As soon as Malfoy realized that Hermione noticed, he quickly donned his evil smirk, but it did not read his eyes where that fear still dwelled. It was that fear in Malfoy's eyes that had ignited those emotions within Hermione that she had been trying to hide from herself for so many years. Now these strange emotions became too strong in her for her subconscious to deny. She wanted him. She wanted his dry, pale lips on hers. She wanted his repulsively long fingers to run passionately through her hair. But most of all she wanted his fear, that fear that until now she was unable to produce in him,

After a moment's silence, Hermione leaned in closer to Malfoy until they were no more than and inch apart. Then, in quiet, barely-audible voice, Hermione continued, "As I was saying, it would just be too bad if you were put in Azkaban, or you were given a...dementor's kiss..." whispered Hermione under her breath, as she gazed into Malfoy's dark eyes.

Just then Malfoy's eyes lit up with those same strange emotions that Hermione was feeling. He then grabbed a fistful of Hermione's thick, brown hair and wrenched her head back. As she let out a quick yelp of pain, Malfoy muttered, "Stupid mudblood," before taking her lower lip in his mouth and biting it until it bled. Hermione winced in pains as Malfoy held her in a teeth-clashing, tongue-biting lip lock.

Hermione brought her heel down as hard as she could on his toe, using his momentary recoil to her advantage by whispering, "Voldemort-supporting git" to herself as she pulled him out of his chair and threw him against the wall where he forcefully hit his head. One hand comforting his head, Malfoy used his other hand to pull Hermione towards him. He then uttered the words "Potter's pet" before beginning to make tiny love bites on the back of her neck, but giving Hermione the opportunity to knee him in the chest and whirl him around muttering, "Filthy, disgusting daddy's boy!"

Before Malfoy could catch his breath, Hermione had showed him back over to their desk where she again forced her mouth over his, and they continued their vicious teeth-gnashing. After more than a minute when Malfoy had both of Hermione's hands clenched tightly in his own, he threw her onto the desk, sending the steaming cauldron clattering to the ground, making a humungous racket and spilling its contents everywhere. Neither of them took any notice as Malfoy was soon on top of her with a "Hagrid-loving broad" and they were back to their violent game. It was only about 30 seconds before Hermione heard the unmistakable sound of the dungeon door grinding open and she realized, to her horror, that someone had entered the room. Malfoy obviously didn't notice because he made no effort to get off of her. Quickly Hermione kicked him in the groin and pushed him off the desk, praying that the intruder didn't see anything...

Hermione's eyes locked with Professor Severus Snape's dark gray ones, and for a few moments all that could be heard throughout the room were Malfoy's sharp gasps of pain. Snape saw it, of that Hermione was certain, for he stood there, gaping at Hermione looking as though he just got struck by lightning.

When Snape moved to open his mouth, Hermione began preparing for the worst. He would give her a zero, a month's worth of detention, perhaps even...expulsion, thought Hermione as her heart began beating frightfully. But just as Snape seemed about to say something, he shut his mouth quickly, still with that oddly perplexed look on his face.

Finally, in a small, frightful, almost hurt voice, Snape stammered, "...I heard the cauldron f-f-fall...I-I thought...another r-r-r-row...but you...and h-him...so disgusting...I-I now have reason t-to believe my suspicion is true...I-I AM a homosexual..." At this, Snape seemed to snap out of it.

"GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM NOW!!!!" shouted Snape at the top of his lungs.

"B-but Professor Snape, w-what about our potion...?" stammered Hermione fearfully.

"ZERO, AND I'LL DEAL WITH YOUR PUNNISHMENT LATER!! GET OUT! G-GET OUT!!!!"

Hermione needed no further provocation. She quickly grabbed her stuff and bolted out of the room (after stepping on Malfoy, who let out a yelp).

Hermione was running as fast as she could through the corridor, not daring to look back, fearing to see a livid Snape pursuing her...

"...and can you believe, Ron, he gave me a ZERO!"

A single tear flowed from Ron's glossy eyes. What Hermione had just said was drowning him in grief. Ron tried to open his chapped lips to speak, but he realized he had nothing to say. She made out with Malfoy, Ron thought. But that doesn't bother her. All she cares about is getting a zero.

Ron suddenly realized all of the oxygen had drained from his lungs. He tried to breath, but his nasal passages were blocked. He noticed the rain beating harshly against the window, and it mirrored his soul. Every hope was flooded, and every reason for living was lost. He might as well have been given the dementor's kiss because he felt nothing left of his soul.

The loss of oxygen was pulling on him. His eyes looked through the window and opened wide, afraid at what they might have seen if they looked at Hermione. Ron couldn't take the emptiness, neither in his heart nor in his lungs. And so he let it reign over him, and he fell to the ground. Hermione knew that Ron had passed out. As the germ of sickness spread through her body, she kissed Ron on the forehead and whimpered, "Oh, Ronald. What have I done?"