When Draco Met Hermione

Chapter 13: Diner Delights

Hermione sat across from Draco at one of their new favorite places to eat, Egan's Diner. Now one person who had known Draco in his younger years would have nearly wet their pants seeing their favorite nemesis dining among common muggles, that is, unless you were a New York City veteran. All the witches and wizards from all five Burroughs in New York knew that Egan Nealson was an old wizard who had married a New York witch. They ran their diner much like The Leaky Cauldron in London. From the back of the diner, there was a wall that opened up into Erskine Alley, New York's version of Diagon Alley. Most people stayed in the city and only ventured into Erskine Alley to stock up on potions supplies or to use the apparition ports.

On a Sunday morning, Draco and Hermione chose to dine at Egan's after apparating back from a concert that they attended in Philadelphia. Hermione was completely knackered from her lack of sleep, and Draco did not look much better. Egan's was crowded as usual with both muggle and wizard customers. The menus were charmed so that those who were witches and wizards who knew that they were (there was always a risk of a muggle-born having magic and reading some of the wizard food items offered) saw that aside from omelets and French toast, they also served pumpkin juice, pumpkin pasties, and a variety of wizard candy.

Hermione took a seat with Draco in their usual booth. Egan, the owner, acknowledged the two with a smile and immediately brought over a carafe of pumpkin juice and a pot of coffee to his favorite regulars.

"'ow are ye Mister Malfoy?" Draco looked up and smiled at the elderly wizard. "Just fine Egan. Hermione and I just returned from a fantastic symphony concert in Philadelphia. Pity that place doesn't have a great wizard community."

Egan nodded and turned to Hermione who gave him a warm smile and held out her cup so he could fill it with coffee. "You know Egan, no one makes coffee like you." Egan smiled, and in a low voice whispered to both Draco and Hermione, "All it takes is a bit 'o magic, if ya' know what I mean," and he left them with a wink.

"That man is bloody crazy sometimes. I wonder if the ministry knows that he's using magic to make his food?" Draco took a sip of his coffee and looked at Hermione who was busy stirring in the creams and sugars that Egan had brought over...on the side.

"I wouldn't fret about it. Egan doesn't have anything to worry about, as long as he doesn't whisper his secrets to everyone." Hermione turned to look at Egan who was bent over whispering to another couple who was in a booth not to far from theirs. Hermione shook her head and turned to look at Draco.

"So, let's finish that conversation we had. About your women and what you do after you've made love."

Draco winced when she said 'made love.' Sometime he Hermione was a little too stiff for his liking. He took another sip of coffee and nodded his head to let Hermione know that it was fine to continue the conversation.

"Well, so what do you do with these women? Such as, let's see, in the last few months, it was Allanna, then Susan, then there was your stint with some girl called Bitsy? Yes, well, do you just get up out of bed and leave?"

"Sure do." Draco took another sip and reached into his bag for a copy of The Daily Prophet that they received by own before entering the diner.

"Well, explain to me how you do it. What do you say?" Draco raised his eyebrows and peered over the top of the newspaper he was reading. Did Hermione want to know how to play a little slap and tickle and run?

"Well," Draco put the paper down and leaned on the table, a small smirk forming on his face. "You usually tell them you have an 'early meeting,' or an early appointment with your stylist or something along the lines of an early muggle-game of some sort, like, racquetball."

Hermione shook her and scowled, "You don't play racquetball, or even know what racquetball is!"

Draco leaned back on the booth and frowned, "Well, the women don't have to know that!"

"Ugh, you're disgusting." Hermione began to mix a new cup of coffee when their food arrived. She started to eat and pick out the parts she didn't want. Draco just let out a small laugh, "I know, I feel terrible," he said with a mocking tone.

Hermione put her silverware down and glared at Draco. He sensed it and looked at her with puppy dog eyes and batted his lashes. She wasn't falling for it. 'Well, I guess I know now that she's not about to take tips from me on my patented 'shag and run' method.'

She glared for a few moments before speaking. "You know, I am so glad that I never got involved with you!" Draco placed his hand on his heart and let out a big sigh. "You stupid git, stop playing around, i'm talking about something serious here!" Draco laughed, then pouted, his lower lip trembling slightly. "If I had gotten involved with the likes of you, I would have ended up being just some woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at three in the morning and clean your flue when you don't even have a fireplace that really works! Well, not that I would have noticed."

Draco shook his head and continued to spoon his eggs benedict into his mouth. "I don't know why you're so upset Hermione, this isn't about you."

"Yes it is! You are a human affront to all women and I am a woman."

"Look, Granger, I never said I was happy to do it, but no one ever complained to me about it. You're the first woman to do so and I have never even so much as seen the inside of your bedroom for as long as I've known you!"

Hermione huffed and took a big bite of her bagel. She swallowed and took a big gulp of her pumpkin juice. "You know why none of your little ladies have ever complained? Because you're out of the door before they can even utter a word!"

Draco lazily buttered his toast and took a bite, "Well, I think they have an alright time."

"How would you know Malfoy? Do you call and compare notes in the morning after your 'racquetball game' or 'early meeting'?"

"I just know, now shut up and eat your breakfast."

"Don't tell me to shut up! How do you know that your bedwarmers are having a grand time?"

"Because they...well, you know...."

Hermione smiled, "Well, so you think they're having a fancy ol' fun romp with you because you think they...." Draco nodded and blushed a bit. He had talked about sex with Hermione, but never the actual details. The idea of how far this conversation would go was a bit mortifying, and he saw Hermione's smile. She knew this conversation was making him uncomfortable. "Well, Malfoy, since you seem to know everything, tell me, how do you know that they're really.......you know...."

Draco dropped his napkin on the table and leaned over the booth to come face to face with Hermione. "Are you trying to say that they might be," Draco looked around the diner; everyone else seemed to be preoccupied with their breakfasts. He lowered his voice, "Are you saying they're faking orgasm?!" Draco leaned back and contemplated the thought. Would women dare fake with him? Draco Malfoy? The thought made a cold shiver run down his spine.

Hermione had a smug, knowing look on her face. "It's possible you know."

"Shut up! It's not possible, I refuse to acknowledge that it can be faked."

"Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it."

Draco shook his head like a child defying his mother. "Well, they haven't ever faked it with me."

"How do you know Malfoy?"

"I just do."

Scowling, Hermione poured herself more coffee. "Oh, that's right, I forgot! You're a man." Hermione hated being told that she was wrong, about anything, even about orgasms.

"And what is that suppose to mean? Huh? Please, enlighten me with what you know Hermione."

A thought suddenly came to Hermione (*no pun intended on that sentence..ha!). She gave Draco her most sinister smile that she could muster, which really looked more like lopsided smirk. "Oh, nothing. It's just that all men are it never happened to them and that most women at one time or another have done it so you do the math."

Draco didn't like the way Hermione was smirking....or scowling...or whatever expression it was she was wearing on her face. She was up to something, he just wasn't sure what. "You don't think I could tell the difference?!" Draco shook his head, the thought of him not knowing he was being played by a woman faking orgasm was laughable in his mind.

"No."

"Bloody hell Hermione, I can assure you that I can tell the difference!" Draco picked up the newspaper that he had discarded earlier and began to read it. He was waiting for Hermione's response. He heard nothing but silence. And then he heard a small, guttural moan coming from the Hermione's side of the booth. He peered over the paper and saw Hermione with both her hands flat on the table-top, head thrown back, a look of lust on her face. "oooooo....ahh....mmm......"

"Umm....Granger? Are you alright?"

"Ohh....oh yes! Oh.....oohhhhh...." Hermione started shaking a bit, throwing her head back a bit more, a smile opening on her face. Draco was looking at her, as were most of the customer's in the diner. Some of the men were giving Draco a thumps up, while some of the women were staring at Hermione, then at Draco, looks of wanting on their faces. "Oh.....ahhh....oh yeah....right there...yesssssss....oh....ohh...." Hermione started to slap the table, shaking even more violently, "Yes! Yes yes yes yes...ohhhh...oh...oh.....yes yyesssssss..ohhh ...oh god......ah......" Hermione let out one last breathy moan, sat up, and wiped the corners of her mouth with her napkin and gave Draco a smile.

The lady in the next booth looked at the waitress who had watched the whole scene unfold, "I'll have what she's having." Several ladies in the diner nodded.

And for once, Draco was speechless.