Intended

[thirty nine]

Time. Time has never been on Sirius's side. He has always been too late, failing to notice things before they blow up in his face.

So he is determined not to let go of this one chance.

Andromeda is leaving tonight, running away with the boy who won her over from Sirius. They are leaving to start a new life together, away from everything that might remind her of the family she once held dear. They are running away from everyone who might come between them, and that includes Sirius himself. He sighs heavily when he thinks of this, feeling the folds of the invisibility cloak flutter around him before settling down once more. He was not meant to know, he is still not meant to know anything because...

'Because I'm too young. Because I'm not good enough...,' he catches himself thinking, then shrugs it off. He will not let himself be cowed by what is happening, will not let himself sink again into such thoughts. He will never let himself return to being the boy he once was, for that would be to admit defeat. And Blacks- however traitorous they might be- do not accept defeat under any circumstance.

Tonight is just another test, another step away from the shadow of his family. Tonight, Andromeda leaves him, forever. The thought had once frightened him, reduced him to a scared little boy who was willing to go to any extent to hold on to what he thought was a normal life.

But Sirius has since realized that there is no such thing as a normal life. In his world, a hat sings a song and throws him from a throne to the ground. In his world, a cauldron can hold both glory and death for whoever seeks them. In his world, family ceases to matter, pales even, in the face of the strength offered by friends. In his world, fathers forsake their sons and force them to seek out others, casting new bonds of friendship and not blood. In his world, the rising moon brings with it thrills and terror, adventures and loneliness.

In his world, everything is anything but normal.

A clock chimes the hour and the prefects assemble for the last round of the night. Both Andromeda and her lover are there, each line of their faces tensed, their hands meeting silently. Her ring glints dully in the firelight, the slight flash catching Sirius in the eye and reminding him exactly why he needs to go after her.

The night is cold and the cloak is not very thick. Sirius pulls it around himself tightly as he creeps across the school grounds, making sure that he keeps Andromeda in sight. He makes almost no noise, his shoes quiet on the ground, his breathing forced and steady, his eyes fixed on her back. She is lagging behind, shuffling along, pausing every few seconds to look about herself as if she is waiting, almost expecting someone to appear any second and foil their plan.

Almost as if she is waiting for him to run up to her and tell her to stop. He almost does but caches himself in time, trying not to focus on the way Ted pulls her along or how fast they are going.

He only has one thought in mind. The ring cuts into his palm, almost as if the snakes are biting him now, reproaching him for what he is about to do. The metal feels warm, a circle of heat pressed against his skin, the last remaining vestige of comfort that he has allowed himself.

And he is going to give it away. He is going to give her away.

It is time. They are almost hidden in the shadow of the flying pitch, the walls shielding them from view. Sirius presses himself flat against the stone, taking one step at a time, listening intently. Their voices waft over the wind, growing loud and careless in excitement. Ted produces a broomstick from a hiding place inside the wall and lets it hover in the air. His eyes are bright, his movements certain as he helps Andromeda to mount the broom, then busies himself with tying their bags to it. He is prepared. He is completely prepared to do this, to take her away.

She, however, looks far from it. Her skin is terribly pale, her body shaking, her shoulders drooping. A small, flickering ache rises within Sirius as he studies her face, eyes downcast, her hands growing pale as they clutch the handle of the broomstick. She has never looked this unsure of herself; she has never looked this beautiful. He wants to stop her now, stop her from leaving him, but he can't. He is only a boy. He is only a boy with a terrible secret... one that could ruin them all...

Sirius needs to act. Sirius needs to act now. Ted is almost done with the bags... he is mounting the broom, and Sirius still cannot move, still does not want to move.

'Ready?'

She nods. Sirius takes a deep breath.

'All right. Hold on-'

'STOP!'

Sirius suddenly finds himself able to move again, the rush of cold wind welcome against his skin as he pulls the cloak off. Andromeda lets go of the broom, makes as if to jump off but at the last moment steels herself and turns away from him. Ted simply looks furious.

'What the-'

'Shut up and listen to me. I can't let you do this. Either of you.'

'Oh, right. And what's so important that you snuck out and followed us here? What the hell do you think you're doing?'

Sirius narrows his eyes. 'Saving your life.'

'What?' Andromeda speaks softly, almost as if every word is causing her pain. She turns to him, her eyes shining. 'Please don't stop me. Please don't.'

Sirius shakes his head, tries to speak but finds it suddenly difficult, almost as if her voice has stolen his away. His voice comes out in a croak, his throat dry and his tongue heavy with the weight of the words he has to say.

'You can't... I mean, you can... but you'll die... the contract...'

'What about the contract?' A glimmer of recognition, of fear. She lets go of the broom with one hand, reaches out to Sirius with the other. 'Tell me. Tell me!'

Sirius takes a deep breath. 'If you go, I'll die. You'll die. Both of you. If you leave me... if you leave your Intended, you'll die because you broke the contract.'

'No... that's not possible... I'll throw it away! I'll throw the ring away, then nothing will happen!' she says, her voice rising, her hands trembling.

'Throwing the ring away won't help. You'll still be bound. You... he... all of us! We'll still be cursed.'

'How do you know this, anyway? Maybe he's making it up...' Ted interjects. Sirius glares at him.

'I am not making it up! I overheard our f-fathers,' and Sirius can't help but falter on the word father but he refuses to think about it, ploughs ahead anyway, 'I heard them talking about it... why do you think they haven't stopped us before? I'm not even good enough to be a Black for them, but they still had some sort of hope for you! Why do you think they haven't revoked it themselves?'

Andromeda looks as if she might cry, but says nothing.

'Please believe me,' Sirius whispers, looking up at her, for the first time letting her see the pain and confusion in his eyes. She recoils from him, wipes at her eyes furiously. A troubled look crosses Ted's face, but he says nothing. His eyes speak for him; he is clearly devastated. He lays a hand on Andromeda's shoulder and she turns to him, her words almost unintelligible, desperate.

'I should have known... trapped... Ted, what... what can we... Ted? They'll kill you too... no! No, no... this isn't fair... no!'

Sirius clears his throat, but stops when he notices Ted looking at him. There is something odd in the boy's glance, something different... it is a second before he realizes that he is seeing sympathy in Ted's eyes, sympathy that surfaces for a second before disappearing again to be replaced by concern for Andromeda.

'There's something else, though,' Sirius whispers urgently, but Ted raises a hand and shushes him.

'No more.'

'But-'

'Please,' Ted mouths and turns back to Andromeda. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around her. He soothes her quietly, whispering in her ear, his own despair pushed away. He focuses solely on her, on Andromeda, and in that one moment, Sirius knows that he could never measure up to what he sees. It makes him uncomfortable to see them so close, but Andromeda is clinging to Ted as if her life depended on it, both of them so close, almost as one person...

It is enough. It is enough to tear him in two because he knows that it is not his age, it is not his fault that she is running away like this. No, it is him, it is him and everything he stands for that is forcing her away. It is the bond between them that scares her, the old custom that brought them together being the one that tore them away from one another.

He knows this, because he feels it too. He knows this, because she is the only reminder of his family and his past that he has, the only thing that has kept him tied down for so long.

He knows this, because he is suddenly filled with an overwhelming desire to run, to be free of everything that keeps him here, to forget everything that makes him a Black. He is almost jealous of the way she embraces Ted, not because she has never held him like that, but because she is not afraid to do so. He is almost jealous of her because she is not afraid to love.

He is almost jealous because she is not afraid to be free.

Sirius dares to step up to them, feeling his blood rushing in his ears, feeling the metal of the ring almost scorching his skin. He quietly extends his fist towards her, calls her name.

'Andie?'

She looks up, untangles herself from Ted and turns towards Sirius. Her face is blank now, her eyes shuttered and her movements slow. She is struggling to say something but Sirius simply shakes his head, opens his palm to show her the ring, glittering there.

'You didn't let me finish,' he says quietly. 'The contract can't be revoked... except by those who signed it.'

She stares at him, then at the ring in his palm, then back at him. Sirius can see the whirlwind of emotions crossing her face: despair, shock and hope all weaving together to dissolve the calm mask until she weeps openly, a bemused smile greeting him.

'You would let me...?'

He nods, places the ring in her hand and offers his own. Her fingers are cold as they brush against his, as she pulls off her ring and gives it to him. Her ring is icy against the very spot where his skin was burning just a moment ago, cold and soothing and heavy with the weight of their transaction. The snakes glitter and die, their eyes closing as he watches, falling limp, the ring losing its luster.

In a few seconds, all he holds is a ring of stone, coarse and old and brittle. Andromeda holds a similar ring in her hand, and she pitches it against the wall, hearing it break, a sharp sound that cuts through the darkness around them.

'I...'

'No. Don't say anything,' he says, wondering how much more of this he can stand. He wants to see her gone, to see her fly away, to see her happy and free even if it is not with him. She reaches for him, kisses his cheek one last time.

'Thank you,' she whispers in his ear, just before she pulls away.

'That was...' Ted pauses for a second, then stretches out his hand to take Sirius's. 'That was awfully noble of you. I'm sorry everything turned out this way...'

Sirius shrugs. 'Things happen,' he says, more to convince himself than anyone else. 'Things happen and you can't do anything about it. Nothing noble... I was saving myself as much as anyone else.'

'Still... I don't think I know anyone who'd do that. I know I wouldn't.'

The words give Sirius warmth. He allows himself a quick smile before he steps away. Before him, the broom rises into the air. He watches them, Ted holding onto the broom with one hand, the other around Andromeda's waist. And Andromeda...

Andromeda stares directly at him. She doesn't look away, not for one second, and Sirius tries to memorize the moment, to keep this picture of her in his mind until she is almost out of sight, the broom far above him, already moving over the boundaries of Hogwarts.

Alone, everything is horribly quiet. Sirius cannot stop staring at the spot where they were, only a few minutes ago, where he finally broke the last tie he had with his family. He sees her face, smiling at him, and vows to himself that one day, he will be brave enough to do the same thing, to simply run away and leave everything behind him.

His feet tread softly on grass as he makes his way back to the castle. Inside, he knows, there will be a terrible fuss when it is discovered that both Andromeda and Ted are gone. The Slytherins will mutter darkly and the Hufflepuffs will be distraught. The Ravenclaws might looks up from their books and share a knowing look with one another. And the Gryffindors... the Gryffindors will surround him and demand to know what happened.

He doesn't feel like talking, though. He finds himself walking down to the lake, thinking of everything that has happened since he came to Hogwarts. He sits down at the edge, the dew from the grass seeping through his trousers, his fingers digging into the earth. He looks at the ring left in his hand. The stone is crumbling at his touch, and on impulse, he swings it up, tosses it out into the lake and watches is skim the surface of the water before sinking away, forever. The surface of the lake ripples before him, the skipping ring causing the reflection of the castle to break up and waver before piecing itself together again. The wind rustles the leaves of the trees and the Whomping Willow swings wildly, then is still.

Above him, the full moon rises, casting a baleful eye over him. Up in Gryffindor tower, he can see the windows of the boys' dormitories, the light from the third-years' window falling on the path behind him and catching a rat before it scurries into the night. The invisibility cloak slips off his shoulder and pools in his lap. In the sky, his star twinkles brightly, outshining all the rest.

Sirius knows that everything has changed now, everything. He is not the boy he remembers he was; he is not living the life that had been planned out for him. Instead, he finds himself drawn into the dreams of a new life, one that will allow him to escape for once and for all from everything that holds him back.

And if he is lucky, nothing in his life will ever turn out the way it was originally intended to be.

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fin

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