Intended

[five]

It is not long after Sirius turns eleven that he receives a letter. He knows that this is the letter his parents had been talking about for so long, because of the green ink and his name on the front, and he inwardly breathes a sigh of relief because Merlin forbid the letter had not come…

He knows too well the consequences of a non-magical child to a pureblood family, and especially this particular one. The Blacks have no use for Squibs.

Over the summer, Andromeda tells him about Hogwarts, about the ceiling that doesn't look like a ceiling at all, about Quidditch, a fast and dangerous flying sport he has never been allowed to play before, and about the four houses and how a boy might be sorted. He listens to everything intently, closing his eyes and imagining himself already there, wandering the hallways and feeling the magic of the school flow all around him.

Once she pulls him into a cupboard in his room and, with a mischievous smile, says that there are many places like this in Hogwarts, where they can hide. He wonders what might happen, though, if people forget to look for them.

Once she kisses him, a small teasing flutter against his lips and tells him about the astronomy tower. He pulls a face, disgusted. He is used to Andromeda's kisses and her hugs, but he doesn't think much of them. He does not want to know what else they are supposed to do.

Once she presses him into the shadows on the stairs as the adults pass, taking his hand and whispering stories of adventure into his ear. He grins in delight and imagines himself invisible, creeping along passages and searching for treasure within the castle walls.

But she shies away when Sirius asks her what house she is in. She mutters, ‘Most Blacks are in Slytherin,' and Sirius shivers because she sounds like his mother, stern and a little intimidating. He has seen her school robe thrown into her trunk, plain black with its silver and green prefect badge, and one night, he sneaks up to her room and wraps himself up in it. He pretends that the badge on the chest is his own and that he is a proud fifth-year of Slytherin house, staring at his reflection in the mirror until Andromeda catches him and throws him out in a fit of anger.

The day before they leave Andromeda apologizes to Sirius for her stories. She tells him she has lied to him, that Hogwarts is a horrible, horrible place, but Sirius refuses to believe her. He knows that she is lying now, that she is scared of something, but when he asks, she does not say anything, only hides her face from him and tells him he is too young to understand.

Sirius wants to understand, but how can he understand if no one will explain?

That night, he dreams of Hogwarts. In his mind, Hogwarts is a wonderful place, but when he searches for Andromeda he never can find her.

*