Ron's Underpants

Hermione arrived back at the Gryffindor common room at around five, just in time to go down to the great hall for dinner.

Ron observed that she was acting shifty and refusing to meet Harry's eye.

"What's up Hermione?" he asked. He got up from the chair he was sitting in and stood between her and the entry to the girl's dormitories.

"Nothing Ron!" she answered irritably. "Please extract yourself, and your boxers, from my path!"

Ron moved aside looking hurt, but Hermione took no notice and continued up to her dorm leaving a puzzled and hurt Ron in her wake.

"What's up with that?" Ron asked Harry, gesturing towards Hermione's exit.

"Ron," Harry began, "I have a theory, and it's just a theory mind, that Hermione and Draco have been doing more than cleaning telescopes during detention!" he looked anxiously at Ron.

Ron looked confused, then, a look of realisation spread across his face.

"WHAT!?!" exclaimed Ron violently. "She's been seeing Draco Malfoy, of all people, behind our backs!?"

"That is my theory Ron, but you've got to calm down!! Hermione mustn't know we're on to her!"

"Why? She's being stupid and she needs to be told that!"

I could get Ginny to slap some sense into her!"

"That won't be necessary Ron, I know you're upset, I am too, but we need to think rationally here." explained Harry, cautiously.

"Alright then mate, what's the plan?"

--*--

Hermione avoided them during dinner. She sat between Lavender and Neville and immersed herself in a conversation with him about plants and the career opportunities for young Herbologists.

As she began a separate discussion with Lavender about Parvatti's new hairstyle, a piece of folded parchment landed in her lap. She read it and excused herself from the table.

Lavender, utterly unfazed by Hermione's sudden departure, continued the conversation with Neville. Hermione drifted out the Great Hall, and headed out onto the grounds.

She met a Hufflepuff fifth year called Julie, but was saved from conversing by Julie's urgency to get to the Great Hall before dinner finished.

Turning, she headed over to the Quidditch fields.

"Where is he?" she asked herself aloud.

Suddenly she saw Harry bolting towards her like the bolt on his head.

"Hermione!" he exclaimed through gasps, "Ron has attacked Draco! You'd better come quickly! *pant* I can't seem to knock any sense into him! *puff* He's got it into his head that you're seeing Malfoy!"

"Oh God, No!" she exclaimed panicking, "Where are they?"

As they raced of towards the changing rooms, Hermione was torn between her love of her best friend and her love of Draco's arse.

"I'll bloody 'Weasel' you Malfoy!" Yelled Ron

"Oh, I'm SO scared ikkle Ronnikins finks he's big and stwong!" yelled Draco back.

As they got closer to the changing rooms Hermione could hear these shouts getting louder ("Stupid ferret").

"Ron!" she yelled in a burst of passion as they reached the changing room door, "Don't hurt Draco, I love him!"

Everything went quiet. The door swung open to reveal... Ron and Ginny.

"So, it's true," Ron said barely audible, "You and Malfoy."

There was hurt in his face and a hint of disbelieving and shock in his voice.

"You, you tricked me!" whispered Hermione looking from Harry to Ron, shock and panic in her face.

"Hermione we just wanted you to be honest with us." explained Ginny.

"Save it!" hissed Hermione, "You two are nothing more than Weasels and as for you, Harry," she rounded on him like a trapped dog, "You are just as Draco said, 'pathetic and attention seeking', I hate you all."

"Whoa, Hermione be careful what you say!" Ginny began, "Choose wisely, Slytherins are not to be trusted!"

"Neither, apparently, are Gryffindors!" and with that Hermione stormed out.

"PMS?" asked Ron hopefully.

"No Ron that seemed more like Post Malfoy Syndrome!" answered Ginny, "Believe me, I should know!"