Emptiness

Emptiness

Ginny sat in her room. Alone. She wasn't going to talk to anyone. She couldn't.

He was gone.

She put her head into her hands. For years, he'd always protected her from her big brothers. He'd been proud of her. He'd been the one she showed all her pictures to, the first to know about any accomplishments, the one who had worried about her most and the one she worried about most. And now her Charlie was gone.

Standing up, she crossed the room and lifted a large white shell off the top of her dresser. The first year he'd been in Romania, when she was only three, she'd missed him more than she thought was humanly possible. So when he'd come home, he'd brought her a gift.

~~~

"Charey! Charey!"

"Ginny!"

A small red blur shot out of absolutely nowhere and hugged him tightly around the waist. "Charey! I missed you so much!"

Charlie felt tears come to his eyes. "I missed you too, Littleun." Charey. It had been her nickname for him since she was learning to talk. It was all she'd been able to get out. Bih had become Bill, Fed had become Fred, Jadge had become George, Won had become Ron, Pussy had become Percy, but Charlie was still Charey. The whole time he'd been in Romania, Charlie had dreamed of that little voice calling "Charey" over and over again. Once or twice someone else working with the dragons would tell him that he'd been talking in his sleep, always saying "Littleun". It was his pet name for her.

Ginny looked up at Charlie through her big blue eyes. "Charey, Mummy says I can't write you letters because I'm too little, not even if I tell them to Percy and let him write them. She says you wouldn't want to hear what I had to say."

"Of course I want to hear what you have to say, Littleun," Charlie told her, scooping her up. "I'll talk to Mum for you, okay?"

"Okay!" Ginny said happily.

Charlie smiled fondly at his baby sister. "Oh, hey, I almost forgot! I brought you a present!"

Ginny's whole face lit up. "A present? For me? Really?"

Charlie nodded and set her down, then reached into his bag and pulled out a big white shell. Smiling, he handed it to his little sister. Ginny stared at it in awe. "What is it?"

"It's called a conch shell," Charlie told her. "It's very special. Hold it up to your ear."

Ginny did as instructed and gasped. "It sounds like the ocean!"

Charlie smiled and took it from her briefly. He whispered softly into the shell, I love you, Littleun, and I always will. Then he handed it back to Ginny. "Listen again."

Ginny held it up to her ear again. A huge grin spread across her face. She looked up at Charlie. "I love you too, Charey, and I always will!" she said happily, running forward. He knelt down, and she flung her arms around his neck. Charlie felt tears of happiness come to his eyes as he hugged her back.

~~~

Ginny held the shell to her ear and again heard those comforting words. I love you, Littleun, and I always will. She knew he meant it. He always kept his promises. She knew that wherever he was he still loved her.

Biting her lip, she replaced the conch. Right next to it was a snowglobe. She picked it up. Inside of it was a tall, slender young girl with short red hair, wearing a long, brown, hand-me-down boy's coat and a blue hat. A shaggy little puppy was tugging on a purple scarf she held in her hand.

Ginny remembered when Charlie had bought it for her. She'd been nine at the time. He'd had to go to the future to recapture a dragon that had escaped into Muggle America. While he'd been there he'd had time to buy her a present. He always made time to buy her a present.

~~~

Charlie smiled and passed his little sister a square box. "I picked this up while I was after that dragon in America last month...I was going to give it to you when I got home, but I thought it'd make a better birthday present."

Ginny grinned. "Thanks, Charey!" Carefully, she unwrapped the present, opened the box...and gasped as she withdrew a shining snowglobe. Inside she could see a girl that looked just like her, except with shorter hair.

"Her name is Anya, I think," Charlie told her. "Look what it does..."

He carefully took the globe and turned it over, then wound a key underneath. He carefully shook it and handed it back to her. A merry tune was playing happily. A huge grin spread across her face as she watched. She sprang up and threw her arms around Charlie's neck. "Thanks, Charey!"

Charlie smiled and hugged her back. "Happy birthday, Littleun."

~~~

Carefully, Ginny turned the snowglobe over and wound it up, then shook it carefully and watched the snowflakes fall, listened to the tune--the gears were starting to wear out now--and cried. She hugged the globe tightly to her chest, then placed it on her bedside table as the music box wound down.

She'd started Hogwarts two years after he gave her that snowglobe, and she'd started calling him Charlie. Just plain old, everyday Charlie. She wouldn't seem like a baby in front of Ron's friends--and they weren't just Ron's friends anymore. Now they were her friends too.

When she'd come home from the last school year, Charlie had been there. She'd run straight into his arms and hugged him like she'd never let go. And Charlie had squeezed her just as tightly.

~~~

Ginny trailed behind her brothers and her parents. Glad as she was to see them--as much as she'd missed Fred and George after their hasty departure--she really wanted to see Charlie. She wondered if he knew what happened. She wondered if he'd ever know that the last thing to go through her mind before she was knocked out while in the Department of Mysteries was the memory of the day he'd given her that conch, an echo of his words--I love you, Littleun, and I always will.

She stepped into the doorway of the house, feeling a little dejected. Her parents and brothers seemed to be talking with someone. She stopped when she heard a very familiar voice.

"Where's Ginny? She is all right, isn't she?"

"I think so, she was just behind us...Gin?"

A short, stocky figure appeared in the kitchen doorway, and Ginny recognised her big brother right away. "Charey!" she cried, running for him and hugging him so hard she was half-afraid she'd choke him.

Charlie almost wanted to cry. She hadn't called him that in years. He'd missed it, he'd known it meant she was growing up, but he'd missed it all the same. He hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go. "I've missed you, Littleun," he managed to choke out. He leaned back a little and looked at her. "I guess I can't really call you that anymore, can I? You've grown up."

Ginny shook her head fiercely. "No. You can call me Littleun. I--I want you to call me Littleun. The world is changing too fast. I want some things to stay the same."

Charlie smiled and hugged her tightly again. So did she.

"I heard what happened," Charlie said quietly. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," Ginny answered. "I'll be all right now. As long as you're here."

~~~

And as corny as it sounded, that was really how Ginny felt. And now he was gone. Nothing could ever be all right again.

But that wasn't right, was it? They weren't one hundred percent certain that Charlie was actually dead. He was just missing in action, presumed dead. Ginny had to have hope. She had to believe in her big brother, the way Ron had always believed that Percy would come back even when everyone else had given up. And Percy had come back. Ginny knew if she only believed that Charlie was okay, that he was alive and would come back to her, he would.

She crossed over to the window in her room at Grimmauld Place, clasped her hands, and focused on the morning star. Charlie will come back. Please let him come back.

That hurt, too, because she remembered the summer Charlie had learned to play the banjo, and the two of them had sat on the front porch of The Burrow singing that Muggle song from that movie with the frog puppet. How old had she been? Six, maybe seven. No, she was definitely seven, because she was missing her two front teeth.

~~~

Ginny giggled as Charlie finished playing the silly little song. "What's that called, Charey?"

"It's Duelling Banjos, I think," he told her. "Oh, now this one you know." He strummed a couple of measures and started to sing.

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,

And rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it

I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers and me."

Ginny clapped her hands happily and sang the second verse.

"Who said that every wish would be heard and answered

When wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that

And someone believed it,

And look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?

And what do we think we might see?"

Charlie joined in with his little sister, and the two sang as loud as they could,

"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell,

We know that it's probably magic....

Have you been half asleep

And have you heard voices?

I've heard them calling my name.

Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?

The voice might be one and the same.

I've heard it too many times to ignore it.

It's something that I'm supposed to be.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa."

They both started giggling as they finished. Ginny gave Charlie a big hug. "Does that really work, Charey?"

"Course it does," Charlie told her. "It's always worked for me."

~~~

And it had always worked for Ginny. She closed her eyes and wished with all her heart, hoping it would work now. Please...let him come home. I feel so empty inside.

And in front of the big, imposing house, a short, stocky young man with red hair, filthy, disheveled, cut and bruised, looked up to the same star Ginny was wishing on, approached the door, and knocked.