Willow Song

XXI. Discontent

On Serena's nineteenth birthday, she celebrated quietly with letters and packages from friends. It was a full moon, so Remus was on his potion and locked in his room. Serena had a letter from the Samuelsons saying they had had some problems with magic people, perhaps Serena's birth father, so they were going into hiding after Kigali. They would still pray for her, but she shouldn't try to reach them. The letter was less than a page long. It was so cryptic and strange; she felt bewildered and abandoned. She took out her guitar and spent several hours playing and singing, finding that the music left her feeling whole again.

The next few months were spent studying and practicing healing. Serena managed to practice on Shacklebolt, Mundungus, and Tonks, but Moody still mistrusted the idea. Serena now retained a memory of her Green Song, but still composed it new each time she healed. She and Remus continued to grow into closer friends, and he shared the stories of his Marauder days with her.

Then came a warm day on the first of May when Serena awakened, opened her eyes, and saw nothing. She slowly reached her face then touched her eyelids to make sure they were open. She blinked. The shadows had reached her. She stared into the darkness, trying to see something, anything. Slowly, just like the way eyes adjust to the darkness at night, she began to see some vague shapes and patterns of dark and shadow. It was like it was midnight with a new moon, but it was something. She felt her emotions bubbling under the surface, but refused to let them out. She steeled herself with practicalities, like getting dressed.

She went to her wardrobe and realized she couldn't tell what color her clothes were. "Winky," she called out with the slightest edge of panic in her voice, "I need you."

"Yes, Mistress Serena?"

"Would you please pick out something for me to wear? I can't see what color my clothes are."

"Oh my poor mistress! Does you want Winky to help dress you?"

"No, I can do that; I just can't see the colors of my clothes. In fact, if you could sort my clothes into what goes together and put them together that way in my closet, that would be a big help." Winky organized the clothes while Serena dressed. Winky offered to walk Serena down the stairs, but Serena insisted that she could at least get around the house by herself.

Serena went downstairs and sat across from Remus at the table. Remus noticed her unfocused searching eyes, her measured deliberate breaths, the bite of fear tightening her lips. "Please pass . . ." Serena started.

"Please pass what?" Remus replied.

Serena could barely make out the outline of serving dishes on the table, but couldn't see what was in them. She smelled oatmeal and brown sugar. "Please pass the oatmeal and brown sugar."

"No brown sugar, just maple syrup," Remus said, passing the bowl. Then he realized what had happened. "Serena, can you see anything?"

"Not really," she said in a tiny voice. "I can make out some dark shapes and shadows, rather like walking about on a dark night, you know? I've known this was coming. This is a little sooner than even I had planned, but not unexpected. I'm fine, really."

"No you're not. I can see you're breathing funny and can barely swallow. Just let it out. I'm here to catch you."

"I can't, not yet. I need to see the ocular healer at St. Mungo's. Will you take me there?"

"Sure, let me get some of the Order to back me up and we'll go. Can you apparate there?"

"I can if I can see it in my mind. I've been there before."

Two hours later Fred, George, Bill, and Percy apparated to 12 Grimmauld Place. Then the six of them apparated to St. Mungo's together. The other five started to move towards the elevator. Serena remained standing there, confused, when they looked back and saw her, only now realizing how poor her vision had become. Fred went back and firmly planted her hands on his left elbow and walked her to the elevator. They escorted her to the ocular healer's office, but after Fred led her to the examination chair, they all waited in the outer office together.

The oculist checked her eyes thoroughly. "It's happened in about half the time I thought it would. How long have you been in total darkness?"

"I'm not. It was just this morning that it all became nighttime shadows, but I can see some patterns of shadow and dark. How long do you think the shadows will last before it's total darkness?"

"According to my tests, you're in total darkness now. Any shadow shapes you're seeing are with your inner eye. You can't get any worse."

"I guess I'll be thankful for the shadows, then. Thank you for your time." Her voice squeaked. The healer went to call the Weasleys in to get her when Serena heard a loud crack followed by a shouted curse, and heard the healer gasp and crash to the floor. Before she could scream or grab her wand, she felt herself tightly bound with magical ropes so tense that she couldn't move a finger. Even her mouth was bound so she couldn't scream.

She heard a commotion in the outer office and knew her protectors were battling Death Eaters. She heard Fred and Percy come running into the examination room. Her chair was knocked over, and the Death Eater used her as a shield. She felt the curses blasting through the air and heard spells being shouted. Suddenly the Death Eater's voice was in her ear. "So daughter, I heard you're engaged to a Weasley. I'm glad you had enough sense to choose a pure blood, but really, a Weasley? You can do so much better. So which of these energetic redheads is yours? Which one do I need to kill first? AHHHH!!!"

One of the Weasleys had sneaked around behind her and stunned Dolohov from behind. Soon it was a total rout, and she heard the words, "Finite Incantatum" as her ropes fell away. "Serena, are you okay?" It was Fred. He took her hand and helped her out of the toppled exam chair.

"Fine, just a little bruised."

"Fred, Remus, George, get her out of here. Bill and I are going back to the Ministry. There's got to be someone under the Imperious curse here at the hospital, or he wouldn't have known Serena would be here today," ordered Percy.

"Is everyone okay? Did you get the Death Eaters?" asked Serena shakily.

"I think the healer may need healing himself. I don't know if they'll be able to keep Dolohov in prison. He has powerful friends. The other two escaped. We're all okay."

Serena, Fred, George, and Remus apparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place. They sat around the coffee table together, and Serena felt all their eyes on her. "Did he finish examining you before he was attacked?"

"Yes." Serena was unaware that she was shaking.

"And?"

"It's done. I've lost it all. The few shadows and shapes I have left are from my inner eye. You can all leave now, really. I've got Winky here with me. Remus, I'm sure Dumbledore has something for you to do. Fred and George, you need to open your shop." Her voice was high-pitched and her breathing rapid and shallow.

"We're not going anywhere. You shouldn't be alone right now. How about I make some tea?" asked Remus.

"Then Fred and George, you two at least go. Please don't stay; you know I never wanted your pity."

"You seem to forget that we were your friends before you ever met Charlie. We don't know how to sing Green Song to heal your spirit, but we do know how to be your friends, and that doesn't always mean enjoying a good joke together. Sometimes it means we share a good cry," said Fred.

"I don't want to cry. I've cried before, already. Really, I'm fine."

George stood and began rubbing Serena's shoulders. Serena kept trying to hold back tears, but finally they won out. When Remus returned with the tea, Serena was weeping into Fred's shoulder with George rubbing her back. Both the twins were a bit glassy-eyed too. When they saw Remus enter, they patted her back and said, "Tea time."

They sipped their tea and nibbled on the arrowroot biscuits Winky had prepared. Everyone seemed too awkward to speak until finally Serena said, "I guess I won't be needing my wand anymore." She took it out and held it out to Remus. "You take it."

"Not seeing limits your aim a bit, but you can still do your summoning charms and the shield charm and the reading charm and some of the other non-aimed charms," said Remus consolingly.

"I was totally worthless in there. I didn't even get my wand out to defend myself. I was caught with my wand still in my pocket. I'm useless with a wand."

Fred tried to joke, "Well, defensive spells were never your forte anyway, Serena. But you can use your powers in ways the rest of us never imagined."

Remus then asked, "Is there anything we three can do to help you? You're going to have to let people know now."

Serena nodded. "George, would you tell your mum and dad for me? And Fred, Remus, I really could use some help writing letters. The Quick Quotes Quills tend to be drippily descriptive, and I don't want to add any melodrama."

All three agreed. George left to tell his parents while Fred and Remus got out quills and ink. Serena instructed: "Remus, if you'll write one letter to Dumbledore, McGonagall and the rest of the faculty, and Fred, if you'll write one to Ginny, Ron, Neville, and Luna, that'd be great. I'll tell you what to put in the letters, but you can just put it in your own words. Tell them what happened with the Death Eater attack at St. Mungo's. Tell them I'm completely blind now, but I don't want their pity. I'm only letting them know now so it won't be a surprise when they see me again. Tell them that it's okay now to tell other people about me as much as they think they should. Tell them I care about them. Tell them to help Harry. The Death Eaters are loyal to Voldemort out of fear and hate. His friends and professors are loyal to Harry out of love. That's how he'll defeat Voldemort. Voldemort doesn't understand loyalty for love. Harry must use that power. That's all. Sign it from all of us."

Fred asked, "Don't you think you should write to Charlie?"

"I do, but what I need to say to him is personal. Is the Romanian floo network still watched?"

Remus answered, "It is. Have you thought about long distance Legilimancy? You've never tried outside of the room you were in, but now that you're completely blind; maybe you can reach him. You ought to at least try your powers and see what the limits are."

Serena agreed to try. Fred and Remus watched as Serena closed her eyes and focused all her mind on Charlie. She could see him in Romania, thousands of miles away, just on his way back to his apartment for the evening. She sent him her image and the feeling of such love mixed with sorrow that he stopped suddenly in his path. "Serena?" he said aloud. She showed him the dark shadows that remained in her vision and again poured out her love for him. "It's all gone then. Do you want me to come to you now?"

She showed him his family and Remus and how good they were being to her and let him know she would be okay. "I love you," he whispered, and then he sat down and cried.

Serena opened her eyes and told Fred and Remus, "He knows."