The Interlude

Chapter 6: It Can't Go On Like This

"To those who'd heard of him, Remus Lupin was a werewolf, a monster, something to fear and despise," Harry began and Hermione winced in her place in the front row of seats in the graveyard. Harry seemed to falter momentarily when he noticed that he hadn't chosen the best way to start a eulogy, but he pulled himself back together and continued. "Erm...To his students, Professor Lupin was a brilliant and kind man with a special talent for giving people exactly the sort of help and advice that they needed. To his friends, he was a loyal, caring, and intelligent prankster. To those who fought along side him, he was a great man, powerful, daring, and selfless to the end. His life was cursed almost from the start: people feared what the moon turned him into and he could never find a job. He lived in a world that was dead set against him, but he...he did alright for himself. He might have had more to complain about than anyone I've ever met, but I never once heard him lament his life. Instead, he proved himself over and over again to those who would listen, and even more to those who wouldn't, trying to make them see that he wasn't a monster, and neither were his fellow werewolves. He was brave, brave in a way that sometimes gets forgotten, because he had to fight every day for the acceptance that should have been his by right. Remus Lupin was a great man, willing to accept his lot in life without surrendering to it. He was wise and true, a great ally and a better friend, my last link to my parents, and the best surrogate uncle I could ever hope for. I can only hope that, wherever he is now, he found the peace that was denied to him in life. He will be missed."

Complete silence swept over the graveyard as Lupin's coffin was lowered into the ground, then, one by one, people got to their feet. As Hermione stood with Ron's arm around her and hers around him, she couldn't help but look around at those assembled. There must have been at least fifty people there, venturing up to he edge of Lupin's grave, chatting quietly, or leaving to get on with their day, all students, professors, Order members. Hagrid was standing a few rows back and gave her a wink when she caught his eye, and Hermione thought she recognized the head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry of Magic, and, a bit removed from the rest of the assembly, the werewolf Lupin had met while Mr. Weasley was in Saint Mungo's recovering from his snake bite. Absently, Hermione wondered if Lupin had known how many people he had affected.

Hermione couldn't count the number of funerals they had attended since the final battle, nor how many were left. It was all a bit of a blur that she knew had very little to do with her grief for Professor Lupin because at the beginning of it all was a big gaping whole where the most important night of her life should have been. Try as she might, she couldn't remember a single second of the final battle, which she supposed meant that her idea worked.

Hermione wasn't sure how long she'd stood there last night, staring blankly into space and wondering where she was, how she'd gotten there, and who'd meddled with her mind before she realized that this idea had occurred to her a few days before and she'd been the one doing the meddling. Luckily, she'd concluded that and the fact that the charm had worked as she'd intended, leaving most of her memory intact, before Ginny came along to ask what she was doing in the attic and tell her than dinner was ready. Hermione had been rather subdued during that meal, sifting through her thoughts and memories as she picked through her steak and kidney pie and listened with half an ear to Ron's joyful account of the flying he'd done that afternoon. She'd had to expend a lot of concentration on keeping her face neutral, because, as much as she loved the Weasleys and Harry, she didn't want them asking questions about this, and before long she was feeling sad, angry, and a foreign emotion she soon realized was utter confusion over her missing memories. However, some part deep inside of her that seemed to know what happened during the final battle was relieved that she couldn't remember, and since she knew she was unlikely to ever remember again, it was relief that she chose to hold on to.

Immediately after dinner, Hermione had raced upstairs and dug through her trunk until she found a clipping of newspaper from a few days after the final battle, which detailed everything about the fight that the survivors had been willing to share. She'd read it three times, then once more for good measure before folding it up and sliding it into her pocket, where it now sat, a thin presence against her leg, assuring her that memories or no, she knew enough about the fight to play along in conversation, and that was all she could ask for.

"Hey," Ron said softly, pulling her a bit closer and jostling her out of her thoughts. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," Hermione replied, looking up at him. A few tears she hadn't realized were welling up spilled down her cheeks.

"We should go talk to Harry," Ron offered, reaching to wipe the tears off Hermione's face even as his own eyes watered sympathetically.

"Yeah," Hermione agreed, and together they walked up to Lupin's grave.

When they got there, Harry was leaning over the grave, letting a clot of dirt sift through his fingers and into the ground. They let him finish in peace and a minute later he came over to join them.

"It was a beautiful eulogy, Harry," Hermione said quietly, eyes welling up again as she noticed his foggy glasses.

"Lupin deserved better than that," Harry sighed. "They should've picked someone else, waited to find Tonks, or somebody. Nothing I could have said would ever do him justice."

"Nothing anyone could have said would do that," Ron replied. "They picked the right person."

"I hope so," Harry said.

"What do we do now?" Hermione asked after a moment's consideration.

"I don't know," Harry shrugged. "Help rebuild, I guess."

"I meant about the three of us," Hermione clarified, realizing a bit too late that she really shouldn't have asked. It might have felt like the blank space in her memory occurred only yesterday, but for the rest of them it had been two weeks. No doubt they would have sorted issues like this out. Not for the first time, Hermione wished there had been some way to avoid the blurring of the time since the final battle, but apparently she hadn't wanted to remember her thoughts about the fight any more than she wanted to remember the fight itself. She could only remember critical events from the past week, such as Ron's recovery and the ongoing Muggle-born revolt. Still Hermione pressed on. "How do we just move on from something like this? We've been fighting this was for seven years and now its over."

"I don't know," Harry repeated. "I don't have all the answers. I never did."

Hermione dropped her gaze to the ground. She'd been so sure that if she just asked, Harry would have the solution to the problem that made her wipe her memory, but she supposed that she'd known all along that he wouldn't. As much as people tended to forget it, Harry would be the first to say that he's nothing special; he'd never been imparted with any special wisdom or knowledge. He was just a kid with a prophecy that said only he could defeat the darkest wizard in a century. It hadn't been fair of her to ask.

Just then, Ginny came up and took her place by Harry's side, and together they and the rest of the Weasleys remained while the crowd slowly trickled away. They watched as the gravediggers filled in Lupin's grave and placed fresh grass over it, and they were the first to lay flowers in front of his tombstone.

***************

The somber group hadn't been at the Burrow for very long when a heavy hand knocked on the front door. A moment later, Harry looked up from his usual spot on the sofa to see Mrs. Weasley invite a stooping Hagrid into the living room. Hagrid's face twitched into a wide smile when he saw Harry, who leapt to his feet and offered Hagrid the sofa and took the chair opposite himself.

"Sorry I didn' ge' a chance ter talk ter yeh at the funeral today," Hagrid began. "Those were some grea' things yeh said abou' Remus."

"Thanks," Harry sighed, not bothering to reattempt the argument he'd had with Ron and Hermione about how someone else should have given the eulogy. Harry was almost certain that he knew what was going to happen next: Hagrid would thank him for his stellar defeat of Voldemort and say that the entire world owes him a debt of gratitude and Harry would have to try not to look uncomfortable while he said you're welcome like he'd already done a millions times before. Therefore, Harry was more than a bit surprised to look up and see Hagrid's face covered in the utmost pride.

"Yeh did good," Hagrid beamed. "In the war an' all."

"Oh...I...um," Harry stumbled, all of his stock answers rendered useless by Hagrid's unexpected statement.

"Tha' was a grea' thing yeh did," Hagrid continued.

Harry didn't know what to say. With all the thanks, gratefulness, and occasional groveling he'd received over the past few weeks, it hadn't occurred to him that all he really wanted was simple assurance that he really had done the right thing. It apparently hadn't occurred to Ron and Hermione or anyone else that Harry might be doubting his actions during the final battle, but there Hagrid was, beaming at him like he'd just won a Quidditch game or been chosen Triwizard Champion.

"Thanks," Harry finally said. "I needed to hear someone say that."

"It's the truth," Hagrid replied earnestly. "Yeh put an end to a war. Ain't nothing better than that."

"You were there too," Harry pointed out. "There must haven been fifty people fighting on our side that night. I shouldn't be the one who gets all the credit."

"But yeh were the one ter finish You-know-who," Hagrid replied.

"I wouldn't have ever gotten there if it weren't for you and everyone else," Harry sighed. "So thanks for being there. You did good too."

Beneath his beard, Hagrid's mouth opened and then closed and Harry noted that his black eyes looked a bit watery.

Hagrid didn't speak for a long moment and Harry was just getting worried that he'd have to think of a way to restart the conversation himself when Hagrid heaved a massive sigh and said, "Tha' means a lo', comin' from you."

"It's the truth," Harry replied, echoing Hagrid's previous words.

"I wan' yeh ter know, if there's anythin' yeh need, all yeh 'ave ter do is ask," Hagrid said suddenly, leaning forward.

"Thanks," Harry said, eyes narrowing at the abrupt change in subject. "But, what-"

"I migh' no' be around as much," Hagrid continued. "Bu' yeh can always coun' on me if yeh need summat."

"Hagrid, are you going somewhere?" Harry asked, cottoning on.

"I guess I didn' say ye', did I," Hagrid sighed.

There was a bit of a clatter at the bottom of the stairs, then Hermione yelped, "Hagrid!"

"'Lo, Hermione," Hagrid replied cheerily as Ron and Hermione joined them.

Fortunately, Hermione's distraction had given Harry just enough time to process Hagrid's statement and he prompted, "You were saying?"

"Olympe asked me ter come an' live with 'er in France."

"France!" Hermione exclaimed, her interruption not nearly so helpful this time.

Hagrid nodded, "An' I though', she 'n' I 'ave been gettin' along pretty well, an' this way she can stay near 'er school. An' Grawp's been doin' much better, bu' the Forbidden Forest really isn' the best place for 'im."

"Oh, well, that's great," Harry replied, trying to sound earnest.

"Yeh don't mind?" Hagrid asked carefully.

"No," Harry assured him. In truth, he had a growing coldness in the pit of his stomach at the thought of the first person he'd ever met in the wizarding world leaving, but he supposed he was also excited for him. "I mean, I'll miss you, but I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Hagrid said. "Well, I should be off, then. Lots ter pack, see."

"Alright," Harry said. He wanted to ask Hagrid to stay longer, but he had said he needed to go and Harry was inclined to trust him not to leave if he didn't have to. Instead, Harry got up and gave Hagrid a hug, which he returned a bit over-enthusiastically. Harry thought he felt several joints bend in ways they weren't meant to, but he didn't really mind. He didn't know when he'd see his old friend again, after all. But, with one final squeeze, Hagrid released Harry, hugged Ron and Hermione farewell, stooped to the door, and left with one parting wink. The room felt unbearably cold and empty without him.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood in silence for a moment before Hermione turned to Harry and asked, "Would you like to go on a walk with us?"

"Oh!" Harry stammered, surprised. "Um, you don't mind?"

"Not at all," Ron assured him.

"We were actually getting worried that you'd been feeling left out," Hermione continued. "Do you want to come?"

"Yeah," Harry replied happily, tactfully not confirming their suspicions. "Thanks. I'll just go get changed then." He glanced down at the overused black robes he'd been wearing to the funerals to demonstrate his point. "I'll be right back."

However, Harry hadn't even made it to the stairs when Mrs. Weasley leapt out of the kitchen holding three envelopes adorned with Hogwarts crests.

"Just a moment, dears," she said. "These came while we were out this morning. I think they're your N.E.W.T. results."

Hermione very nearly fell over. When she recovered, she rushed forward, took the envelope addressed to her, ripped it open, and read the contents as though they contained the answer to the meaning of life.

Harry and Ron were a bit less excited about seeing their results. Casting dubious looks at each other, they took their envelopes from Mrs. Weasley and, on a silent count of three, they tore inside.

Having two hands at his disposal, Harry reached his parchment first and held it at arm's length as he read, as though he were afraid that the contents might burn his eyes out.

N.E.W.T. Results for Harry James Potter:

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Potions: E

Transfiguration: A

Charms: A

Herbology: A

Harry read it over again to make sure he'd seen it right. He'd been expecting to get T's in most everything.

"I knew I shouldn't have bothered," Ron sighed. He'd finally finished chewing through his envelope and was regarding the parchment in much the same way as Harry.

"How bad can it be?" Harry offered.

"See for yourself," Ron muttered.

They traded parchments and Harry glanced over Ron's results.

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O

Potions: A

Transfiguration: D

Charms: A

Herbology: A

"Could've been worse," Harry pointed out with a shrug. "We didn't exactly go out of our way to study, after all. Or learn the material in the first place, really."

"That's true," Ron admitted, finally cracking a smile. "Still, I suppose that's it for the Auror idea."

"Too bad," Harry sighed.

"Oi, Hermione," Ron exclaimed suddenly. "How'd you do?"

Except for her eyes, it seemed that Hermione hadn't moved at all since first seeing her results. She was also growing paler by the second and Harry started to wonder if she'd forgotten to breathe. She didn't snap out of it until Ron waved his hand between her and the parchment.

"Sorry," Hermione stammered. "It's just-"

"Oh, honestly," Ron sighed, snatching her parchment away. "It's not like you..." Ron trailed off, eyeing her parchment suspiciously.

"I know, it's horrible, isn't it," Hermione cried. Harry looked at her in surprise. She was Hermione; she couldn't have possibly failed anything.

"Hermione," Ron said. "When in Merlin's name did you get a chance to study Ancient Runes?"

"Some of the texts I used to research Horcruxes were written in Ancient Runes," Hermione sighed. "I guess I did alright in that, but-"

"Alright?" Ron demanded," Hermione, you got an O in that." He poked her results under her nose to prove it.

"And have you seen my Arithmancy mark?" Hermione pleaded.

"What's one A?" Ron replied. "I got three of them and a D to boot. Besides, you got an E in everything else. You did great."

"I'll never get a job," Hermione sobbed.

Harry decided to leave them to it and went upstairs to get changed for that walk, whenever they got around to it. However, by the time he got back to the kitchen he saw that all of their fears had been unfounded, for in his absence five owls had arrived bearing job offers. Ironically enough, the two for Harry and Ron were from the Auror office saying that they'd been accepted into Auror training on a probation that would be lifted if they achieved high enough marks during the first few months of their training period.

When he finished reading his letter, Ron looked up and said, "I understand them making an exception for you, but why me?"

"Maybe they knew I wouldn't accept unless I had you there to suffer through training with me," Harry replied, reaching out his left hand to shake Ron's.

"Thanks mate," Ron breathed.

The moment was broken when Hermione let out a high pitched squeal then immediately exclaimed that she'd been offered a position with the Ministry of Magic as a junior goblin liaison.

When the three of them left on their walk they were in very high spirits and spent an enjoyable afternoon talking about their future jobs, nothing, and everything in between.