Follow the Butterflies

Chapter 7: Complementing Eyebrows

By heartdamoose

***************

Ron wouldn't be very surprised if what he was about to do would have him expelled.

Or worse.

He walked the hallway to the great hall alone as he contemplated what he was going to do. He felt like he was walking to his death. His life flashed before him dramatically like some type of movie.

And to think, all of this is going on because of a butterfly, he thought holding the paper that Malfoy gave him in his hand tightly.

This is your entire fault you know, said a part of him that sounded a lot like Hermione. If you didn't lie so much to cover up your patronus, you wouldn't be in this situation.

Ron sighed. Yeah, I know, but then the whole school would know and I would be the laughing stock of Hogwarts for months.

Like you already aren't.

Oh, shut up.

Deciding that fighting himself both disturbing and ridiculous, he cleared his thoughts and walked to his death.

There it is, Ron thought grimly. He felt clammy and pale as the double doors to the Great Hall stared back at him mockingly.

Oh suck it up, he told himself. He opened the door and walked inside.

The great hall was full of chatting and laughter when he came in. He walked over to the Gryffindor table, refusing to even steal a glance over at Malfoy.

"Hey Ron," greeted Harry as he pat a seat next to him for Ron to sit on. "That was pretty funny during potions class, eh?"

Ron gulped. "Yeah. Bloody hilarious."

"Ron, what has gotten into you lately?" demanded Hermione with a stern face. "You look so nervous all the time."

Ron shrugged.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Hermione, you know very well why he's nervous. It's because of...of...what's your girlfriend's name again?"

"Oh...well...we broke up anyway."

Harry's and Hermione eyebrows rose. "That was quick," said Harry.

"What did you do anyway?"

"I erm...forgot her name."

Hermione winced. "Ouch."

Harry nodded in sympathy. "Is that why you're so nervous? You're scared one of her friends is going to beat you up?"

Ron shifted his eyes. "Let's go with that."

About a second later, dinner appeared on the empty platters and jugs. Tonight's meal happened to be radish stew.

"Ew, I hate radishes!" said Hermione in disgust.

George plopped a roll on her plate. "Roll?"

Hermione glared and took the roll from her plate. She took a bite and chewed it thoughtfully.

Ron stared at his plate miserably. He didn't even have close to an appetite, but he scooped food onto his plate to make it look convincing. He began to chew on a roll.

I am going to die.

The crumpled piece of paper in his pocket reminded him of what he was going to do in no less the five minutes.

Looking up, he saw Malfoy catch his gaze. The blond grinned at him and mouthed 'Do it' to him.

Ron gulped. A new sense of panic overthrew him with a strength that made a rhino on steroids seem as weak as a butterfly. Arg...not a butterfly...a uh...centipede. 'Right now?' He thought, terrified.

Ron looked at the pocket that contained the nightmare worthy piece of paper. Taking it out, he unfolded it and paled.

"Ron, what are you doing?" demanded Hermione as Ron stood up and stepped away from the bench. Some of the Gryffindors who had heard Hermione's question also turned to look at Ron.

Ron stood up on the bench.

"Ron, are you mad?" asked Harry, bewildered. Even Fred and George looked slightly confused.

"George, how come we never thought of this?" asked Fred staring.

"I dunno Fred. But I do know our brother is an idiot."

"What's he doing anyway?"

By now, not only were all of the students staring at him, but the staff as well. Professor McGonagall looked like she was going to burst into flames at any second.

If that's her reaction now, just wait until after, thought Ron in a daze.

He cleared his throat.

Holding up the paper, he recited...

"McGonagall, oh McGonagall

How you sit over there,

With your gigantic hat

And pink underwear.

Your eyebrows are pretty

In the moonlit night,

They glow in the darkness

Like a big light.

Now your nose may be big

And your head going bald,

But I don't seem to care

Despite the homework I hauled.

McGonagall, oh McGonagall

After all the things you've said,

Like family insults

And bashing in my head

All the times you've threatened me

And made me cry,

I just have to say

McGonagall, oh McGonagall,

You look like a fly."

There was a crash: McGonagall had fainted.

Seconds later, the whole hall shook with laughter. Kids were falling off of their seats and rolling on the ground in fits of laughter. Others had choked on their pumpkin juice and were currently choking and laughing their brains out.

Fred and George exchanged shocked glances. "That's our brother!" they said as they high-fived.

"Ron you're our idol!" screamed Fred through the crowds.

The only thought that ran through Ron's head was, 'Oh God, I'm so expelled.'

***************

Fred and George, who had insisted that Ron's precious feet never touch the floor again, carried him back to the common room pronto to party.

"Three cheers for Ron! Gryffindor Hero!" cried Fred as he held up a sloshing cup of butter beer.

The common room seemed to roar.

"I don't understand," said Ron as he stood next to Harry Hermione. "How does reading a poem that insults our Head of House make me a hero?"

"Who cares?" said Harry laughing. "Did you see her face?"

Ron nodded, trying to keep in his laughter.

"Ron, what were you thinking when you did that?" demanded Hermione sternly.

"I was thinking I was gonna die."

"Well then why did you do it?"

Ron sighed. "It's a long long story, and I'm tired. Can we just drop it?"

Hermione sniffed.

"Not like it matters anyway," Ron muttered. "I'm totally gonna be expelled."

Harry nodded. "Probably."

Just then there was a humungous crash that sounded like a portrait slamming open, then they heard the voice that chilled them to the bone.

"ALRIGHT ALL OF YOU! TO BED NOW! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A PEEP FROM THIS TOWER!"

Everyone dropped what they were doing and scurried up to their rooms with their tails between their legs.

"AND RONALD WEASLEY!" cried McGonagall as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. "Come with me."

Ron thought he was going to wet himself.

He followed Professor Mcgonagall's brisk walk. When they arrived at her office, she opened the door and let him, tight faced. Ron sat down in a chair as McGonagall sat behind her desk.

"Why, dare I ask, did you even think of doing that Mr. Weasely?!" McGonagall demanded angrily. "It was immature, it was uncalled for, and I do not look like a fly!"

Ron searched for an explanation. "I agree Professor, but I had to do it."

"And why?"

"Because...well...to put it simply...er..."

"Out with it Mr. Weasley."

Ron looked around for inspiration. "I...was cursed, Professor."

McGonagoll's brow furrowed, obviously not buying it. "And who cursed you?"

Ron stared. "A...hippogriff."

"And why would the hippogriff curse you?"

Ron pursed his lips in thought. "Probably because it doesn't like me."

"I see," she said with raised brows. "Very well, Mr. Weasley. Because there is no known rule against announcing offending poems to teachers, I have no choice but to only give you detention. Report to my office at eight o'clock tomorrow night. You are excused."

Ron stared for a moment confused, but then he realized that he'd just got off with only a detention. He stood and began to walk out of her office. "Thank you Professor."

"Oh, and Weasley," said McGonagall.

Ron turned around. "Yeah?"

"Do you really think my eyebrows are pretty?"

Ron froze. "Erm...of course."

"Thank you Mr. Weasley."

Ron walked out of her office feeling both disturbed and happy. He wasn't expelled!

But he had another thought. He had to take care of the butterfly problem fast before something like that happened again.