Follow the Butterflies

Authors' Notes: This is a collaboration of heartdamoose and kazooband, inspired by the fact that despite finding out what Hermione and Cho's patronuses are in Order of the Phoenix, we are never told what Ron's is. Patrons of the Leaky Cauldron and Mugglenet might be aware that JK Rowling meant for Ron's patronus to be a small dog like a Jack Russell Terrier, and even meant to tell us, but let's just pretend we don't know that.

*****************

Chapter 1: Things That You Usually Don't Swallow

By heartdamoose

*****************

The day was strikingly warm for the middle of spring. In fact, it was so warm, that one particular sparrow had flown into a tree in its own delirium and exploded into a mass chaos of smoking feathers and bloody intestines. The only remains of the unlucky sparrow, were two bony legs and feet that were burnt to a mouthwatering crisp.

Crunch.

"Urg! What did I just step in?" said a disgusted red head as he looked at the very appealing blob of smashed sparrow legs on the bottom of his shoe.

"Never mind Ron, just hurry up! We're going to be late for DA!" called the voice of his good friend Hermione.

"Kay," he replied as he wiped his shoe on the moist grass, muttering about grade obsessed girls who needed to be early for everything thus ruining his curiosity of what was under his own shoe. He jogged quickly to catch up with his friend.

"There you are," she said rolling her eyes. "We're late enough as it is."

"Well sorry," muttered Ron. "But I stepped in something nasty back there!"

"I don't even want to know," she said laughing. The two of them jogged up the stairs to Hogwarts and made their way to the Room of Requirement.

***************

"All right," started the loud voice of Harry Potter as he stood up on a chair and looked over the small crowd of DA students. "Today we're still going to work on our patronuses. And for God's sake let's get them right this time."

The DA students, who had been working on their patronuses for a week now, had been, over time, getting better at producing the protective creatures. Now, as Harry watched his friends practice, he noted that most of them had improved a lot.

"Look Harry!" cried Neville from the corner of the room. Harry turned his head, as did everyone else, to a large toad about the size of those big globs of raisins all clumped together when they go stale, jumping around the room.

"It looks like Trevor," pointed out Hermione as she admired the boy's patronus.

"Great job Neville," said Harry in congratulations. "What did you think of?"

"That time you tripped over nothing, fell down four flights of stairs and ran into Snape, getting detention for causing 'unnecessary chaos'."

Harry's blush rivaled Ron's hair as everyone laughed.

Meanwhile, in the farthest possible corner of the room from Neville and friends, Ron banged his wand against the wall over and over again in frustration.

How is it that Neville, boy who isn't good at anything that doesn't involve bloody plants, can summon a patronus, and I bloody can't?

Shush Ron, you're overreacting, he told himself. With a sigh, he stood up straight and tried again.

Find your happy place, he thought. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Blurp.

The only thing that escaped from Ron's wand was a failure of a silvery wisp that looked like a chunk of tofu. It floated to ground heavily and dissipated.

Damn, he thought staring at the place where the white wisp disappeared.

"Hey, getting any better?" asked Harry as he came up. The rest of the DA students were back to work again after admiring Neville's toad.

"Nay, Mate," said Ron downcast. "All I get are those fatty cloud chunks coming out of my wand."

Harry thought for a moment. "Well, what are you thinking of?"

"When me and my family went to Egypt."

"Are you sure that's the happiest thing you can think of?"

"I don't know! How am I supposed to remember the happy moments of my life?"

Harry smiled weakly. "You'll get it eventually."

"Harry, Harry over here!" called the happy voice of Ginny as she waved him over with a beaming face. Harry gave Ron an apologetic look and walked over to his friend's younger sister. The rest of the DA group had already assembled by her as well.

"Look, I think I got it this time!" she said as she lifted up her wand. Closing her eyes, she began to focus on the task before her. "Expecto Patronum!"

Out of her wand shot a long thread of silvery wisps that shaped into the form of an elegant fox. The fox licked its slender paw and walked around the group.

Ron stood in his lonesome corner feeling even more like a looser then he did five minutes ago, which was quite impressive. Not only had Neville accomplished summoning his patronus, but his little sister as well.

To put it simply, he felt like a snail that had just been smothered in salt, dipped in boiling oil, smashed by a careless foot, and served for a meal at a French restaurant, thus eaten by an old man with five teeth.

The wispy fox came over to him and walked around him mockingly.

"Oh get out of here," Ron said glaring at the offensive patronus. The fox walked off and evaporated with a wagging tail.

Okay, I'm going to get my patronus, and I'm going to get it now. Enough is enough. With a fiery determination, he lifted his wand and shut his eyes, thinking of the happiest thought he could.

That dream I had, when I was the best Quidditch player ever.

"Expecto Patronum," he said hardly, focussing all he could on his wonderful dream.

He felt a power he could not possibly explain without a dictionary flow through his body and out of his wand. Opening his eyes, he saw a bright thread of silvery smoke erupt dramatically out of his wand.

I'm doing it, I'm doing it! He thought happily with wide eyes. It was like the heavens were flowing out of the wand before him.

I wonder what my patronus is! He thought excitedly. What if it's a lion? Or a gigantic shark? Or a...butterfly?

There, fluttering before him in all its innocence, was a butterfly the size of a rotten tomato.

How the bloody hell is this...thing...going to ward off dementors? A worse thought ran through his head as the butterfly landed on his nose. What is the DA going to say when they see my wimpy patronus? How the heck am I supposed to live this down? What if Harry is in some life threatening dementor involved situation, and I come, 'Oh Harry, never fear! Expecto Patronum!' and out comes my Butterfly of Doom to come and annihilate it violently.

Ron was in quite a situation.

He stole a glance over at the group to see if anyone had noticed. He sighed with relief. They were still preoccupied with Ginny's new patronus.

Now, how am I supposed to make this bloody insect go away?

Ron swatted viciously at the butterfly as it fluttered happily around him. Every time he swatted again, the patronus would dance out of his reach.

From the distance, one might say that he much resembled a frustrated old blind man trying to attack something invisible that was poking him constantly.

The happy little butterfly landed on his nose and fanned its wings peacefully. He blew on his nose and the butterfly was in flight again.

There was a laugh from the group of DA students. Ron stole a glimpse to see what they were up to. The group was breaking apart as they started to get to work again.

Oh crap...Ron thought panicked. What if one of them sees it? I have to catch it!

"Come here you bloody butterfly!" Ron hissed to his patronus as it swooped around his head. Every time he grasped for it, he missed.

"Ron?" started Harry as he began to walk towards him.

Ron looked as pale as he would be if he were dead and didn't have any blood in his body. Of all the patronuses that are in the world...I got a butterfly.

Ron grasped again and felt the butterfly flutter in his hand. Victory! But not quite yet, for Harry was coming close and he would obviously question what was in his hand. Well fine. If it won't go away, then I'll have to hide it. In his short time of thinking and his feelings of mass panic, Ron hid the butterfly in the only place he could think of.

Opening his mouth, he plopped the butterfly inside.

Now the feeling of a butterfly, patronus or no, in your mouth is quite an odd sensation. The tickling of the soft wings against the roof of your mouth feels rather odd compared to many other things that you eat. Ron squirmed as the butterfly flew around his mouth.

Harry walked up with a confused expression. "Are you okay?"

Oh crap, how am I supposed to talk? He thought with wide eyes. Under reflex, her gulped.

Ron felt something rather tickly and soft squirm down his throat.

His eyes grew wider. Did he just do what he thought he just did?

He just ate his patronus.

Ron smiled innocently at Harry. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine."

Harry eyed him. "Are you sure? You don't look to good."

Ron smiled weakly. "Yeah...I guess I don't feel too well."

"You should go back to the common room and lay down. I'll catch up with you later."

Ron nodded. "Kay. I think I'll do that. I feel like I'm getting the butterflies."