The Red Room of Insanity

________________________________________________________________________________

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

The Red Room of Insanity

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table, eating the wonderful food, which the ever-helpful house elves had prepared. The Sorting Ceremony had just finished. The ceiling overhead was dark and cloudy, with occasional flashes of lightning.

"It seems a bit odd that Dumbledore didn't say much in the announcements," Hermione was saying.

Ron nodded. "It was odd. He seemed a bit preoccupied."

Suddenly, the doors opened. Every head in the Great Hall swiveled in that direction. There stood three girls, all wearing cloaks and soaking wet.

One was tall and had brown hair that was braided into two plaits down her back. She had on glasses, tight jean flares, clunky-heeled boots, and a shirt that said: AMERICANS KICK ASS!

Another one was taller than her and had brown hair with red streaks in it. She wore flares, sneakers, and a plain blue t-shirt.

The third girl was the tallest, with shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair. She was clothed in a jean skirt, platform sandals, and a turquoise tank top.

The girl with the glasses walked up to the staff table with long, purposeful strides, her cloak billowing out behind her. She stopped in front of Dumbledore.

"We are sorry we are late, sir," she said. "Ze flight was delayed because of zis awful rain. We offer you zis large tub of cookies n' cream ice cream as a token of our apologies." The other two girls began walking up to the staff table, carrying an extremely large tub of ice cream between them.

"I forgive you and accept your ice cream. Now, if you three would please stand and face the hall," Dumbledore said. He stood as they turned around to face the students. "Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention, please. I would like to introduce three new students coming to us from Beauxbatons in France. They were previously Sorted into Gryffindor. This is Alyssa Cataphote," he announced, gesturing to the girl with glasses. "This is Lily Golatac," he said next, gesturing to the girl in the platforms. "And this is Daffodil Simetra." He gestured to the girl with red streaks in her hair. "All right, you may sit down at the Gryffindor table."

They did so, grinning. Alyssa sat down next to Hermione, Lily and Daffodil across from her. "Welcome to Hogwarts," Hermione said with a smile. "I'm the Head Girl, Hermione Granger."

"And I'm the Head Boy, Harry Potter," Harry said.

"It's nice to meet you," Alyssa said. "Oh, and call me Lyss. I'm one who likes nicknames."

"Call me Daff," said Daffodil.

"Call me Blossom," Lily said out of the blue. "I am ze leader. I like pink. I wear a big red bow in my 'air, and I save ze day before bedtime." Everyone stared at her, before Lyss and Daff caught on.

"Call me Bubbles. I am ze optimistic, 'appy-go-lucky one. I like blue. I 'ate fights. I save ze day before bedtime," Lyss added.

"Call me Buttercup. I am ze outgoing, rough one. I like green. I love fights, and I save ze day before bedtime," Daff said, grinning.

"Together, we form the best superhero team Townsville has ever seen. We are the Powerpuff Girls!" they concluded in unison. Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared.

"Okay...."

"Wait a sec! I thought you guys were French!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh, no. We were moved from the Salem Witches' Institute for disturbing the peace to Beauxbatons. Then we disturbed the romantic, lovey-dovey air around there, so we got moved here. And you guys are getting it next," Lyss replied with an evil grin.

Harry shrugged and said, "Bedtime, c'mon."

They followed him up to the common room before following Hermione to their dorm, a RED room with three beds, just for them. They got ready for bed and laid down. But, as hard as they tried, they could not get to sleep.

"Hey, Lils?" Lyss asked softly.

"Yeah, Lyss?" she replied.

"I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

"Me neither," Daff added.

"Oh, good. We're all awake. Anybody want some popcorn?" Lyss asked.

"I do!" Lily and Daff yelled.

"Okay then, here ya go!" replied Lyss, tossing them each a two-liter of Pepsi and a bag of popcorn. They began munching down and talking.

~~~~~A Few Hours Later....~~~~~

"Hey, let's do some acting!" Daff said, giggling like mad.

"Okay! I'll go first," Lyss said. She conjured up a podium with her wand before stepping up to it and clearing her throat.

"Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

"Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

"But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate--we cannot consecrate--we cannot hallow--this ground." At this point, Lyss sniffled. "The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note or long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work, which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion; that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth."

Alyssa finished with a great sweeping bow, amid cheers from her two friends. They had conjured up roses and began throwing them at her feet. "Thank you, thank you, thank you very much!"

There was a knock on the door. Lily, the only one who was sane enough, went over and opened it. Hermione was on the other side.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on in here?" she asked, coming in.

"We're making speeches," Lyss giggled as she sat down with a cup of Pepsi.

"And it's my turn," said Lily. She walked up to the podium, put her right hand over her heart, and turned to the flag beside her.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America. And to the republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

"Whoo! Go America!" Daff and Lyss yelled, throwing conjured lilies at Lily's feet. Hermione just stared on, amazed.

"Now it's my turn," Daff declared as she walked up to the stage.

"Uh oh," Lyss muttered.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"She's going to sing. And she's horrible. Here, have some popcorn, to throw at her," she added, handing Hermione some popcorn.

Daff began to sing. 'Lyss was right,' Hermione thought. 'Daff is horrible. Truly and utterly horrible.'

Daff ended her song, which was, consequently, The Star-Spangled Banner. They all threw popcorn at her.

Hermione looked at Lily. "Can I try?" she asked timidly.

Lily grinned. "Sure! Go right on ahead, Hermione."

Hermione smiled and walked up to the podium.

"Ladies and Germs, I am here today to talk to you about Francium. Francium is number 87 on the periodical table of the elements. Its scientific abbreviation is Fr. Francium is in Group 1, and Period 7 of the table. Francium is very metallic. It will explode if exposed to wat--What the hell are you doing, Daff?" This sudden outburst caused Daff, who had been playing obsessively with the light switch, to stop, leaving them all in darkness.

Lyss rolled her eyes. "Daff, you're dumber than a bag of hammers."

Daff looked protestant. They were only able to see her because she had flipped the light back on. "B-but, it's TUESDAY! I'm only dumber than a bag of hammers on Wednesdays!

Lily looked at her watch. "It's 1:23, Daff. It IS Wednesday."

"Oh."

"Erg, it's WEDNESDAY? Off to bed, all of you!" Hermione said sternly. "I'll expect this mess cleaned up when I come for you in the morning."

She left, and they all scrambled around, cleaning up. After Lily and Daff had assured Lyss that the room was clean, they went to bed.

****

The next moring, Hermione awoke to a loud creaking and shouting outside her window. She got up and went over to the window, where she found the oddest sight.

A large ferris wheel had been constructed outside, and Professor Snape was sitting at the top, screaming, "Wahoo! Cherries jubilee! Dang, this is fun! Hey, Albus, you should come up here, you can see for miles!"

She watched as Dumbledore shook his head. "No thank you, Severus."

"Whoo! Happy trails, Albus, happy trails!" McGonagall screeched from her position next to Snape. Hermione watched on in wonder. This was getting interesting....

"Hey, Herm, whatcha lookin' at?" Hermione jumped, gasped, and whirled around.

"Harry! Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry. Hey, you won't believe what Lyss and Lily are eating for breakfast."

"What?"

"Peanut Butter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans!"

"No."

"Yes."

"I don't believe it! I must see this!" She ran after Harry, into their room, where she found Lyss and Lily eating a bag of Peanut Butter Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"Holy crapoids, what the hell?" They stopped eating.

"What?"

"You don't eat Every Flavor Beans for breakfast!"

"Yes we do!"

"It's not normal."

"Well, we're not normal."

Hermione sighed. "All right, eat your beans," she muttered, rolling her eyes. She left the room, in search of Ron.

***Meanwhile***

Ron walked through the corridors, searching for Ginny. At an intersection of hallways, Ron looked around.

"I don't think I've ever been here before," he thought. He turned in a circle where he was. "Yes, I'm completely lost," he concluded.

Just then, he heard strange noises coming from a closet to his left that was labeled, JANITOR. He walked over to the door and flung it open.

And then gasped at what he found before him.

Draco and Ginny, snogging each other senseless. Draco's hands were up her shirt, and Ginny's hands were tangled in his hair. Their legs were tangled together, and they seemed to be trying to get closer and closer to each other. The sight of his sister snogging Malfoy was terrifying, but he was enraged at the same time. However, he let them alone. For some crazy feeling had crept upon him, not unlike a Lethifold. Sighing, he shut the door and began to retrace his steps.

It was not until later that he realized that he was wearing maroon leather pants.

***Later***

"Ron, do you realize that you're wearing leather pants?"

"I am?" Ron looked down at his legs, saying, "I was wondering why my pants felt so ti--ARGH!!!!"

~Fin~