Easy as Life

This is the moment when the gods expect me

To beg for help but I won't even try

I want nothing in the world but myself to protect me

And I won't lie down, roll over and die.

I wake up alone.

I'm used to waking up alone.

It was a year ago today he died; a year ago my world fell apart; a year...

It seems so much longer than a year.

I get out of bed, swing my feet onto the cold floor. I know what I have to do today. I've been raised for it. Everything he told me was only so many beautiful words. They don't change my duty.

All I have to do is forget how much I love him

All I have to do is put my longing to one side

Tell myself that love's an ever-changing situation

Passion would have cooled

And all the magic would have died

It's easy

It's easy

I sit down in front of my dresser. A carved dragon in the mirror's frame turns its head in my direction and hisses a greeting. I take up a brush and drag it through my hair. I knew this day would come, so there is no fear in me. I am prepared for this. I was born for this.

There is a knock at the door and I turn. "Come in."

Mother enters and stands behind me, her elegant hands resting on my shoulders. "Well, my fine dragon," she whispers, "are you ready?"

"Of course, Mother," I say, tilting my head so that it leans on her arm.

"Will you be visiting your father before you go?" she asks. "You know how much he would appreciate a visit from you, especially today."

"Yes, Mother," I say. "I'll be going as soon as I'm certain everything here is in place."

"My fine dragon," she repeats and kisses my cheek. "Shall I let them know you're awake."

I shake my head. "I'd rather surprise them. It keeps them on their toes."

She laughs; it sounds like little bells. "I'll see you in a little while then, Draco." She departs, leaving me with my thoughts which are a roomful of company.

All I have to do is pretend I never knew him

On those very rare occasions when he steals into my heart

Better to have lost him when the ties were barely binding

Better the contempt of the familiar cannot start

It's easy

It's easy

Green eyes. He has the most unbelievable green eyes...

I grab the train of thought and throttle it before it can continue. I will not think of him like that today. Not today. I have more things I have to do. I rise from my seat before the dresser and walk to the wardrobe. I know what I'm wearing today: my finest robe, black trimmed in silver.

He always laughs and says that everything I wear is black...

Another thought killed before birth.

Now dressed, I go downstairs where everyone is waiting for my arrival. They draw themselves straighter as I pass them, raising their chins as this were some sort of Muggle military inspection.

"Is everything ready for when I return?" I ask.

One of them steps forward. "All the arrangements have been made, Master Malfoy," he says, bowing. What's his name again? Ah, Cromwell.

"Very good, Cromwell. I'm going to visit my father, then to take care of business. No slip ups, Cromwell."

"Of course not, Master Malfoy," he murmurs, bowing again and backing away.

I Apparate to the grounds outside Azkaban. The influence of the dementors hits me like a Bludger. I shake it off and walk up to the gates of Azkaban. Instinct tells me to cling to the best memory I have, but I refuse. I will not think about him today. I will not. I will...

Until I think about him as he was when I last touched him

And how he would have been were I to be with him today

Those very rare occasions don't let up, they keep on coming

All I ever wanted and I'm throwing it away

It's easy

It's easy as life

It was our last night in Hogwarts. The next day was graduation and we were curled around each other in his bed, trying to make time stop.

"I don't want you to go," he said.

I stroked his hair. "I know," I said, "but I have to. You knew this was coming."

"I knew," he replied. "I knew."

I pressed my lips to his forehead. "It will be all right," I said. "I'll come to you as soon as I can. I promise."

"I'll be waiting," he said. "I'll wait forever if I have to, but, please, come back to me." He started to cry.

I kissed the tears from his cheeks and we held each other until dawn.

"I will find you," I swore as the sun peered over the horizon, throwing spears of red and gold light into the room. "No matter where you are, I will find you."

It is almost time to keep my promise.

But then I see the faces of a worn, defeated people

A father and a nation who won't let a coward run

Is this how the gods reward the faithful through the ages?

Forcing us to prove that the hardest things we've done

Are easy

So easy

"I'm here to see my father," I tell the dementor. It nods and leads me down the hall, though I've been here so many times I could find the way myself. It points to a door and the door opens. I nod and go inside.

My father is waiting. His lips curve when I enter but it is not a smile. His hair is lank and filthy; his eyes are sunken and lack their fire. He steps forward, thinks about embracing me, then settles for a handshake. "My son," he murmurs, his voice still as I remember it, laced with an undercurrent of pride. "Our day has finally come."

"Indeed," I say. "I'm off to attend to business after I leave here, but I knew I had to visit you today."

"You will be better than he ever was, Draco," my father says. "He was a raving fool who could not see defeat when it stared him in the face, but you...You will redeem us." He pauses. "Will you come to me when it is done?"

I shake my head. "You will come to me. When it is accomplished, you will be free. All of the faithful will be free."

He smiles and the old fire flickers in his eyes. "My son."

And though I'll think about him till the earth draws in around me

And though I choose to leave him for another kind of love

This is no denial, no betrayal, but redemption

Redeemed in my own eyes and in the pantheon above

It's easy

It's easy as life

I walk up the steps to his building, then push the button next to his name.

"Who is it?" His voice crackles out from the speaker box.

"It's me," I say.

There is a buzz, then a click as the door unlocks. I smile and go inside. It's like I'm flying as I ascend the stairs. He's waiting for me in the doorway, smiling and green eyes flashing. He pulls me into his flat. The door is barely closed when he throws his arms around me and kisses me.

"I missed you so much," he says. His voice is tight and I can taste the tears on his cheeks. "I can't believe you're finally here. It's like a dream..."

"It's no dream," I say, kissing him back. "I told you'd I'd find you. You know I always keep my promises."

"Nobody's going to believe this," he grins, staring at me with those damnably beautiful eyes. "They all kept telling me you were gone forever, but I told them you'd come back."

I kiss him a second time. "I can't wait to surprise them all."

"We can surprise them later," he murmurs, voice like velvet and chocolate. "But first, there's else that needs to be done..."

"Yes, there is." I slide the knife to the hilt in his heart; magic would set off the wards.

He gasps, eyes wide and fingers digging into my arms where he clutches at me. I will have bruises in the shape of his fingerprints. He coughs and blood flecks his lips as he pushes up my sleeve, searching for the Mark. Finding none, he stares questioningly up at me, unable to comprehend. I could tell him that I was never Marked for a reason: the Dark Lord needs no Mark, so why should his successor bear one? I am no one's servant. I could tell him all this, but I don't.

I kiss him a third time. "I always keep my promises," is all I say.

It's easy as life

Cromwell meets me in the Manor's entryway. "I trust everything went well, Master Malfoy?"

He is dead before he hits the floor. I put my wand away. "Would anyone else care to make that mistake?" I ask.

"No, my Lord," the underlings murmur, inching away from me.

My mother stands on the staircase, her eyes glistening with tears her breeding will not permit her to shed. She descends, embraces me, then dips a curtsey. "My Lord," she breaths.

I extend my hand; she kisses it. I touch her shoulder and she rises, then steps back.

"Come, now," I say to the others. "It is time to free the faithful."

It's easy as life...

Green eyes. He had the most unbelievable green eyes...